in the process of trying to fall in love with you
because i believed i needed to
i fell for someone else instead
i fell so effortlessly
i didn't even notice it
until you pointed out
that i've been smiling
more so than i ever had around you
no, not until
i had to chide myself
every time
i compared you two

What is bare skin
Compared to
The beauty of a bare soul?

if i were to write you, you'd be
misspelled words
sloppy handwriting
slashed out sentences
unformed thoughts
and simple ideas never fully pulled together

Individuals evaluate their own opinions
and desires by comparing themselves to others.
Grow up with a family of perfect siblings around,
was to compare by parents.
Knowing studies wasn't good during school times,
was to compare around friends.
Knowing wasn't much talent in yourself,
was to compare among the public.

That girl over there?
her brother is so awesome.
That guy over there?
he dumb.
That man over there?
he can't do anything at all.

We were all labeled by others.
What happen if we take off the label?
Does our name reveal and tell people that's who we are?
Do they accept the fact?
We aren't that perfect, we aren't that smart, we aren't that talent.
Still, will you accept just the way we are?

we are just a human that try our best to live.

Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless

because
every day
you:

count
the number of likes
you got on your selfie
to figure out the value
of your beauty,

write
perfectly formed tweets
to exude creativity and wit
you wish you
actually possessed,

read
status updates
from former friends
who always seem
to be doing something
exciting,

become curious
about the lives
of people
you've never met,
and

question
why you waste
your time
comparing yourself
to carefully crafted personalities
that exist only
for Internet audiences
they would otherwise
be too afraid
to address.

Don't tell me
what you learned in school
was useless.

I wish I could feel the same feelings when I kiss him
But the problem is
He is not you
Nor will he ever be.
Maybe that's not a bad thing;
Maybe the feelings you gave me
Were too extreme for me to hold.
Maybe since he doesn't bring me those feelings of pure happiness
He won't bring me crashing into that dark hole of loneliness either;
That hole that I know
All too well.
But what's the point of it all
If I'm just pretending to be content with the way he kisses my neck
And grabs my hips
When I'd much rather have your clumsy fingers brush my side
And tuck my hair behind my ear?
What's the point of it all
If my smile is due to my memory
Of you kissing me
And not because he's kissing me?
There is no point of floating in shallow lakes
When the deep ocean is just a few steps away.

Magazines tell me how
                                           pretty
I am.
School tells me how
                                           smart
I am.
"Friends" tell me how
                                           funny
I am.
Instructor tells me how
                                           talented
I am.

Can't I just be
                                           me?
With no comparative quality necessary?