I wish I could feel the same feelings when I kiss him
But the problem is
He is not you
Nor will he ever be.
Maybe that's not a bad thing;
Maybe the feelings you gave me
Were too extreme for me to hold.
Maybe since he doesn't bring me those feelings of pure happiness
He won't bring me crashing into that dark hole of loneliness either;
That hole that I know
All too well.
But what's the point of it all
If I'm just pretending to be content with the way he kisses my neck
And grabs my hips
When I'd much rather have your clumsy fingers brush my side
And tuck my hair behind my ear?
What's the point of it all
If my smile is due to my memory
Of you kissing me
And not because he's kissing me?
There is no point of floating in shallow lakes
When the deep ocean is just a few steps away.