Down in the depths of a wilderness;
the derangement of **** and of wisp.
A creature is arched in a hunker
over bundled leaves; golden and crisp.

Its' blistered hands riddled with splinters
Its' tired face blackened by dirt.
Its' glowing and warm disposition,
Worn pale by commotion and hurt.

It is wary from cold and from torment;
the dark of the forests damp chill.
But it scuffs at the bones as with tinder
igniting the marrow with skill.

Wiping its' brow with its' forearm
the creature desists with a gasp
Smoke trails up through the forest.
A spark has alighted at last.

The flame inhales fallen pine cones;
blazing up through the bramble and briar.
Excitement and fear harmonizing,
'till their voices can't sing any higher;

'till the heart is consumed by her fire.

This chest is no more than a shallow love pit. There are steep, steep worries at the front of my mind. Avalanches of fears tumble down dark slopes, only to land directly on top of me, with no sign of easing pressure. My ears pop pop pop and I am climbing higher, but feeling lower...

Swerve... Collide, no, swerve again.

Unpredictable lifestyles are my least favourite. Surprise!  Panic attack. My shallow love pit aches.

Let me rest, oh please, just let me sleep... Although I am afraid of what tomorrow might bring; bruises, bumps, memories, fun... Terrifyingly unpredictable, to say the least... So let me rest, oh please, oh please. Literally begging, whilst on my knees.

Unfortunate tidal waves of confusion add to the melodrama and I wish to let myself drown. Would anyone help me? There is no saviour at the bottom of the ocean, nor the bottom of a bottle, but please, please, let me drown... Because even drowning sounds better than living this insomnia of a life.

I had always been content with simply floating around, but now that you are here, everything feels different... So let me sink to the bottom of a bottle. Let me rest at the bottom of the ocean. Let me go all the way through life at the bottom, the bottom of anything... For I know that I was not made to make it to the top.

Shoot me with a shot of ***** and drown me with a lot of drink... I do not need your pity, I only need to sink. Don't let me down, just let me drown...

I've had too much time to think.

there is heat in my chest
and emptiness in my heart
that i cant fix

it's not my fault
if i don't hear you
whenever you talk to me

why the pounding in my chest
is the only thing i hear

or why the butterflies
are nothing
compared to the entire animal kingdom
i feel inside me

but i'm sorry,
nonetheless.

what were you saying?


-m.j.a