If you let go for a moment
The magic is lost
But we held on all the way
Maybe the point of together
became useless when we lost sight
of important things that were not us
So now we’re gripping too hard
We’re holding too loose
We’ve forgotten how it feels
to be in the middle
If you close your eyes for a moment
The equilibrium is lost

Breathless I gasp.

Voiceless I call.

Your face eludes me,
your heart so very far from mine.

What a peculiar state we're in,
lost in the wild,
drowned in the silence.

These days I struggle to see your face,
your smile,
your laughter.

How come we by this canyon?
This incredible divide.

It weighs ever so heavily upon my soul,
tearing the life from my chest,
ripping the very heart in me.

Your face eludes my vision
I cannot see you,
your so far away from me,
I'm helplessly lost in the night.

I grasp at thin air
searching for what is not there,
for your are so far away,

So very,
far away.

I know how to hold my tongue.

As a woman, this has been learned.
I know the art of retaining facts,
the importance of remembrance.  
This has been drilled into me so harshly
I have become bloated with facts
about the War of 1812 and mitochondria.

And you.

I was never taught the power of no.
It was never written down in my brain until it stitched
and scarred
and bled its way into my mouth.

They skipped right over the importance of "I can't" .
I can't love you,
can't miss you,
we cannot be together.

I have been told I am beautiful , but never intelligent.
So when I was standing in his dimly lit bathroom
with red rivers running into the sink,
police on their way.
the door cracked in,
the words "I can't" were trying to bubble their way into the room.

I have taught myself to smile while bleeding
and to set myself on fire before I say no.

And it is ugly.

My desire exists
And it is what I say
I wanted affection
But not in this way

your face is a fire
I  cannot compare
To anyone present
For no one is there

And I am a shadow
Of figments like you
The sorry exposure
you will not undo

So come to the corner
And open the door
Let's be in the moment
We cannot ignore

This feeling, leaves me speechless
The thought of you on my mind
Unable to reach that first kiss
If only I could slow down time
A bliss image of what I want in my arms
This feeling of pain over powers me
At the sight of your lovely charms
Leaves me to blind to even see
As if I am your sword and shield
I'd fight for you with all my will
With only my heart in my hands to wield
Just the thought of that emotes a thrill
I may not be the one who holds you heart
But i'd protect it till my very last breath
For this feeling shall not be torn apart
Till the day I meet with Death
My lips go numb, they've become weak
My lungs gap for a widen breath
When I look at you, I cannot speak

I sit in silence as I watch my t.v.. Day in and day out I try to block out the sorrow and misery. I watch idly as I see inhumanity. I try not to think about it, and I do little to change anything. Though I have not pulled the trigger on a gun, nor have I planted a bomb. I am just as guilty for doing nothing as the ones who have committed horrible crimes. The streets run red with innocent blood and in silence I stand. Afraid to try to do anything, the blood is on my hands.

The stitches pull apart at the seams
Unless the words are undone
And you un-speak them;
Something that can never be.
We eat whole heartedly, parted,
On the barrier resentment has erected.

This girl, this blue eyed girl.
She makes me smile when
I think I just can't.
When my world crumbles to pieces
She's there to help me pick them up.
When everything seems like heaven
She keeps me grounded.
If I had to use
Only three words for her:
Beautiful.
Amazing.
Perfect.
But words couldn't describe
The way she makes me feel.
How my heart still speeds up
When she smiles.
How my mind races
When she says "I love you". Words can't describe
Something that can only be felt.
It's been an amazing year @jenna_joensen
Here's to many, many, more