I thought your hands
were made of magic

Because when you touched me
my skin turned shades of pink
but also green and purple,
eventually blue and yellow

I still believe magic is real
but now I'm looking in different places

boy, do I miss
you
everything about
you
when you kissed
me
I felt supernovas
exploding and
you
left bruises staining
my
neck that
I
never want
to heal.

don't do this
don't
don't raise your hand up
not again
you're scaring me
look
now i'm crying
why do you do this
how can you do this
now i'll wake up with another bruise
but i know you don't care
how you leave me
you just care that i hurt.

reality has placed a noose around my neck and i am never winning this game
i can't run away because i'm pulled back
i can't stay here because this pressure is making it
harder and harder to breathe
and these bruises on my neck look a lot like the shadow of your hands
how on earth did i end up like this?
my lungs are dry and cracking because i've been screaming your name in my sleep for weeks
and the blood in my veins is contaminated without your lips pulling it to the surface of my skin anymore
i can't think about the night sky because i compared every aspect of your being to the universe
and now that you've left
my galaxies are empty shells of something that used to be
i don't feel like a work of art anymore
i don't feel like anything anymore
you don't watch me anymore
everyone else that lays their eyes on me makes my skin feel like it's burning
and i'm scratching at my charred flesh to find an explanation as to why you thought it was okay to leave me like this
i thought you were the light at the end of the tunnel
but i mistook you for the train's headlights

-m.v.

White is the promise of purity revoked.

Red is the stain of lipstick on your fifth cup of coffee.

Orange is the succession of sunset to sunrise without an ounce of sleep.

The color yellow peeks through the blinds and dances across his skin.

Green is the color that burns your lungs until you're in a haze of numb.

Blue are the eyes that haunt your consciousness and tears that stream silently down.

Purple is the Galaxy pattern of hickies and bruises littering the skin he touched.

Black is the static you hear in the moments after, when you lay panting in his arms

...just before all the color fades again in his absence.

purple prints
smudged on the canvas
of white skin
the only remnants
of the great requited love
that once softened our bones
waves of passion
that broke onto
the beach of violence
blame
and bruises

It comes in blankets
Grey blankets that cover the sky
And it churns in blue and black
Like purple bruises painting the sky
I want to cry
But the tears won’t come
So I’m stuck looking out window
Searching for any bit of sun I can see
Only stormy eyes show themselves though
And tears streak cheeks
And if I cry myself to sleep every night
That’s only for me and the stars to know
They twinkle knowingly at me in the dark
And I want to yell at them
Don’t tell a soul
But they ignore me
They tell me I’m sad
And I knew that already
But I only see the stars when my grey blankets are gone

People just don't understand that my scars are part of what make me who I am,
I may have created them out of foolishness,
but they were debated over agony in the purist.
You may look at me differently because of them,
and of course I understand that,
they are not what make me pretty, nor friendly.
But they remind me that I am not always correct about everything.
They remind me that pain is real.
That I can feel whatever I want to feel in this insane world,
and even though I did make them myself,
I can remember the pain that was felt that in fact inspired them.

and now late at night when the silence creeps in,
I cannot sleep because I remember back then.
and the pain that you dealt may have been done in secret,
but either way you knew that I would hear it, and I will not say a word of hate towards you,
because we were small people in the middle of the sea.
And when I look down I have a constant reminder of that,
but I am stonger now, because of all the tears you caused me to cry.
I will stand taller now, because of your cruelties towards me.
I'll know not to cry next time.
Because in that situation it made things worse.