going
childlike
and childish
who cares? as
long as
the golden
sun
still rolls on the ground
chasing
how? steps enter my voice
and heart murmur
follows
in quiet
breathing
childlike
wonder

Before the sweat is the thought
Limbs crying in the hot aching sun
My skin’s pleading with me
Droplets form in my hairline
Trickling
Intermingling with the stubby brow hair
Some of them hitting my legs,
Not letting them disrupt their rhythmic motion
Left right left right faster faster right left right fast-
My lungs feel deepened. The air
Feels like I can finally breathe.
The world around me spins
And my legs ache but I can finally breathe so I’ll keep running right?

Before the cough is the thought
Should I even inhale this air
How will it deepen the breath I take, and what if I
Get addicted? The sunburst that happens at the edge of my fingertips,
The proper pressed pale paper laughing back at me
Taking away future breaths but easing the current ones
My lungs feel depened. The air
Feels like I can finally breathe.
The world around me relaxes
And my lungs are filled with smoke but I can finally breathe so I’ll keep smoking right?

Writing things down
Feels like
Plucking hummingbirds
From inside my head
And holding them
In the palms of my hands
In front of me
So that I can
Eye them
Microscopically
Then
Let them go
And finally
Finally
Exhale

I want to breathe.

To be able to fill my lungs with air,

without them exploding with a bang.

We live for a breath of fresh air,

gasping so that we can live another day

When our lungs are full, we need to breathe out.  

Exhaling out the pain and the past

Our breath is a symbol of moving on

Looking without seeing
Hearing without listening
Eating without tasting
Bleeding without feeling
Pacing but not walking
Hoping but not praying
Crazed without lunacy
Taking without wanting
Breathing but not living

Surrounded without belonging
Alone without loneliness
Saying without believing
Speaking without thinking
Desperation is overcoming
As I try to find a way
To not breath without living