true death and restless spirits
i remember all of their names
like they were mine
and the charity of cold
in a sea of salt
kicked down the cemetery gate
and kissed the ground
forgive me now
for the pain i caused
that night, canis minor wept
and all was dust
on the acropolis of troy
i am the one
who fell from dark
into an even greater void
"Do what I say no matter the cost"
I am what they want me to be
My feelings are numb
My soul is lost
It's fine if I'm not whole
All they need is my body
My bones cry out
My skins is a sheet covering the holes
I have little energy to even breathe
I cry till my lungs have no air
I stuff my face in a pillow
My jaw aches while I clench my teeth
All the oxygen in the room leaves
Dark thoughts swarm my head
Depression holds me while I heave
I could just die
I feel worthless, I am nothing
I watch as everyone leaves
I don't know how long I can do this
Got to get away
Its not like I'll be missed
No one around me cares
I'm a breathing corpse
I guess its true
Life's not fair
As a child,
you watched me,
You held a mirror before my face
ten times a night,
to see if fog appeared there.
You stroked my hair
and sang soft songs.
With your lullabies,
my sleep was always long.
Now it is I
checking your breath
ten times a night.
Your pulse so shallow,
it'll vanish any second.
I had not told you of this, not yet,
Until now, when it returns clearly,
Within the timelessness of interior life.
A month to the day and the memory,
Abides in its own identity, being itself.
Into this now familiar unboundedness
Came a new and exquisite presence,
A force field tenderly embracing me -
Just along the edges of my seated form.
Unmistakably you. A quiet certainty.
How could I know? But I knew.
As it dissolved, a light of the palest green,
Took its place, glowing a blessing.
Breathing became the intake of bliss
made into the finest substance, and
I was renewed, visited, complete.
©Elisa Maria Argiro
Spilt upon the breathing tide
The shadows of our former pride
Stained with gilded, rusty gore
Songs upon the breeze still scream
From barren bog and skylit sea
Once were sung but nevermore
Clouds cry crimson in the lake
The moons and stars the sky forsakes
As darkness falls on ****** shores
the ocean is a
teardrop repeating itself,
lessons in breathing
When I fell in love for the first time
She became my world
But more than that she become a part of me
She was my lungs
She kept me breathing
And cut my air supply as she pleased
And when we broke up I couldn't breathe
I gasped for air on my own for the first time in forever
But nothing came
Clawing at my chest as the pain grew stronger
Begging for air to return
But she was gone
and I felt suffocated for years
Slowly I learned to breathe on my own again
Forcing the air into my body
Often against the wishes of my newly independent *****
When my new love came along
I still struggled at times but I knew I could never trust another with that kind of power ever again
So when it feels as though I do not love her as much as the first
I have to remind myself that although she helps me breathe easy
I've never let myself rely on her so severely as my first
I could never make that mistake again
Because I know that losing a part of me again
Will take all the strength I have left
And none will remain to live