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Humble Apr 6
When was the last time you were truly happy,
not merely existing but truly alive?
When was the last time you smiled sincerely,
not that rehearsed facade?

When was the last time you were honest with yourself,
embracing your flaws and strengths,
saying what was in your mind,
genuine and unfiltered?

When was the last time laughter flowed freely,
genuine and unrestrained?

When was the last time you spoke passionately,
about something you love deeply?
When was the last time you loved yourself deeply,
accepting every part of who you are?
When was the last time your heart was in sync with your mind,
free and unburdened?

So tell me, when was the last time you were truly you?
Humble Dec 2023
Once dubbed 'number two,' a label, a haunting echo, a constant reminder,
From a third year’s Scrabble match that left me second best, the genesis of a nickname I hated.

The bitter taste of second place, a memory stark,
A reminder of striving, of yearning, yet falling short.
Averse to the shadow of 'not quite,' 'almost there, but...'

It's funny how being second haunted me,
Always striving to escape my past and secrets.
I've hidden the truth about my family,
A split that's more than what the world knows, I’ve always been ‘the secret child’
A narrative whispered, diluted, for ears unacquainted.
Universe never seize to mock me with it.

Contemplating the roads I could have paved better,
Guarding what was precious, fortifying with fervor,
I’m here , pondering the 'what ifs' and 'maybes,'
A lament for the present, with heavy eyes and teary-eyes. Regrets linger for not trying harder.

Three years invested, hopes were shattered,
I don't blame you for trying to rebuild, giving it another try.
Instead, I blame fate, the ‘Universe’ A relentless orchestrator, marking me perennially 'two,'
Even when love briefly eased the burden.

Now, in the quiet of night, in sorrow's embrace I write,
Words once sweet now tinged with pain,.
I've been through a rollercoaster of emotions,

For days now, you’ve witnessed my descent and ascent, I blamed you, I tried being strong, became a wreck, got drunk to prove a point, isolated , sought validation from internet, found myself overwhelmed by the attention and tried to convince everyone ‘I’m fine’,  I felt numb.
Right now I’m just a shattered soul seeking solace in poetry’s embrace.
Every emotion, a verse, every thought, a line inscribed, writing seems to be my only solace.

To the boy I loved and wanted to give it all to, I’m thinking of you and I just want you to always be happy, being second doesn’t mean I can’t still be your number one cheerleader.
We always thought alike and wanted the same things; I do not wish to hate you as you don’t want it too.
I want to keep you as much as you want to do with me ,
Let's move past this, erase the awkwardness,
Let not animosity tarnish what affection once graced,
I hope we can salvage our friendship soon.
Humble Mar 2022
I’ve died many times before,
and nobody knows

I’ve fought and struggled,
hurt and bleed to death over and over

but the sad thing is,

when I die,
people will think it's the first time.
Humble Mar 2022
I think I deserve this,

I’ve always covered myself
with a blanket of fear,
that way,
I don’t fall in love with you

I was protecting myself
from getting hurt when this thing
between us goes sour,
I didn’t think about your feelings too.

Classic me, always selfish

Here I am now, loving you and
you’re slipping away from me.
I don’t want to lose you, but
maybe it’s time I became selfless
and just let you go.

I deserve this ache in my heart.
Humble Jun 2019
this silence between us,
is like an egg,
the answers we seek is inside,
but we're just too scared to break it.
Humble Apr 2019
I almost didn't
survive you leaving me

I think I would
have died anyway
if you stayed.
Humble Apr 2019
I didn't think
you'd return back to me
but you did.

You shouldn't have,
because now, you're
just a familiar stranger.

I neither hate nor love you.
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