I'm tired of chasing,
Unwillingly hating
Everything and anything
That makes my mind all hazy
Maybe
If I understood things just a little
Better
Then maybe I'd be squeaky clean
From now till
Forever

But I love to hate, and hate born from society
That unfair mother-f_cker that destroyed the best of me
My own little sister
Whenever she needs comfort
Turns away from me and toward
Her supposed loving mother
Who harmed me with wicked lies
That made me die inside
And I cried
Determined into her past I pried
And I found something
I should've let go
But it's hard to release a part of your heart
When it's bound to you,
Y'know?

But I tried
It's a struggle to push through everyday
Memories and pictures that within my own mind
Sway
Amplified
By the natural instinct, desire to hide
To hide away someplace,
Give up and
Just
Die

But I gotta stay strong
Fight my urge to wrong
I at least owe that to a "happy family"
Those who wronged me
I see this with clarity
But it's the part of me that takes pride
In donating to charity
My split and splitting divisions
Mindset, shows
Insanity

But not the monster I hold
In the darkness he grows
Old
And even though I hold him
So close
He grows bold
And I try to make him obey
Doesn't do what he's told
This vicious beast of fangs and claws he
Loves to roar!

But control is necessary
Others better be wary
Of angering
The demon that can be
Me
So please, just leave me alone
Because I'm an archive that holds everything you ever
Did wrong
To *me!

Constricted
Restricted
Bound
Helpless

Four fears remaining constant

I'm bound by the hands, chains crushing my heart;
I can't bare to stand, so I just fall apart.

I'm trapped inside, I can't get out
"Somebody help me! Please help me," I shout.

But nobody's there, no one can hear;
I'm filled with despair as I face my greatest fear.

My skin aspires to be more than just a doll, a story, a song.
More then just a picture book, more than something you only read in bed
Not bound by leather or the clothes on my back
Call me an individual, for that is all I want to be
We strive for normality when all we want is peace
A peace that can only come when we realize we aren't art
We are not paintings to just for viewing
We are history itself; we are not one idea
I do not strive for greatness, I strive have a place to stand
A tree in a forest of graves

I am yours
All I owe to you
Humble you came
Glorious you ascended
Righteous you will return
This I know
For your love is the current in my veins

There I go
I lost again
A competition
No one else was in
Me against
My very own
Self against
The outside world
Locked in a groove
Of "Not this
Not that
Just a fool"
So I stay home
Scratch the walls
Till the overgrowth
Is gone