Shivvy

Shivvy 7d

Mine

Did you ever pray to call me mine?
Because, cara, I?
I don't recall how many times I have tried
To push us away
As if my mind ever decided how my love swayed
To save myself
Even if my trials failed
To lock my soul
Though still indulge in your tainted fouls
To pretend emotionless
When I was bleeding with silenced howls
I have attempted everything
I could
And after all
I have prayed for us to be one
Like icarus craving to be near the sun
I have prayed to be held in your arms, when worn
Protected by you from dusk till dawn
I have prayed for my hopes to come real
To engulf me in a warm blanket for many years
And so
I wonder
If your efforts were just as painfully hopeful in time
And
Did you ever pray to call me mine?

#love #longing #hope

Shivvy Sep 3

Us?

I'd still smile fondly, looking at you;
Knowing the future having us will never be true.

#love #future #always

Shivvy Sep 1

Crave

I crave to be so much
It haunts me in dreams I don't wish to indulge
A perfectionist, my heart wishes
But such a thought and my soul clenches

I crave to be the only choice
Not a second voice
To shine alone like the moon
But be a star soon

I crave to rule hearts
Have power to be unbroken in my palms
To heal scars
Loving the most darkest path tragedies cast

I crave to be at the top of every crest
Never fail a single test
To answer every question right
Be ideal to anyone in sight

I crave to be so much
Selfish and guilty desires proved such
When all my wants are pacified
Will i finally be gratified?

#wants #crave #wishes

Shivvy Sep 1

Once upon a time

Once upon a time
I felt something for you
Love Or like
I'm not sure too

But it was welcomed
I was looking for this
Confident in it
I thought I was being cherished

You have a radiant smile
I noticed once
Brown eyes and a good heart
I thought about this for months

You cared so softly
Exactly how I liked
It should never end
I hoped day and night

And yet all that was apparently nothing
It was not as I thought
I Should've known
A devil doesn't come with horns

All those walls
Broken for lies
How you broke my trust
Can never be justified

I thought I was more mature now
That I could handle it fine
That I was naive not now but
Once upon a time

#love #betrayed #forgotten

Shivvy Aug 30

Dead

September leaves on pavement granite, and bodies at war plight;
The dead don't always make a pretty sight

#war #dead #sad

Shivvy Aug 27

Polaroids

Teen fever and dreamy reminiscence;
With our memories limited to polaroidan evidence

#longing #love #memory #remembrance

Shivvy Aug 26

Voices

I hear this voice
Influencing my every choice
Loud taunts echoing inside me
Hurting me with force I never see
The voice as it says bad
Won't stop even after I regret all I had
My heart squeezes, my chest pains
I wonder after all my agony, if it finally gains
Why must it be I?
Who cant escape, are the walls that high?
A literal war, and I don't seem to have a side
The voice in an unknown open field, I can't hide

-Shivvy

#loneliness #voices #scared