no idea of what lies inside of you
an empty piece of skin until I lunge for my pen
I give you meaning; a heartbeat stirs
a collection of breathing words, a personality to construe
trembling at my creation, a sultry body of sin
strange how you want something until it occurs?

Do you understand the feeling of confusion?
Do you find the feeling of pain relieving?
Do you ever stop and think for a second,
That the new friends,
Keep quiet when the old ones are leaving?
Do you like the way you make love just an allusion?
Do you like the look of being blind?
Do you feel smart if you act stupid?
Do you feel good when others feel bad?
You cannot expect to know something,
If you get a question you don't know the answer to.
You cannot expect to get love,
If all you give,
Is hate.
You cannot expect to have the knowledge,
If all you do,
Is criticize the intellectually rich people who actually try so hard to give you something you never really had in the first place.
You cannot expect someone to cry over you,
If you are the one who caused them most of the pain.
The person crying, isn't crying because they are missing you,
They are crying, because you were too self-absorbed, too egotistical, too proud of your own achievements,
To see theirs.
You cannot expect someone to follow in your footsteps,
If you don't even have your own to create.
You cannot expect to always be happy,
If all you do,
Is to make others miserable.
You cannot believe just because you are such a beautiful human being,
That everybody will fall in love with you,
If they have only seen you once.
You cannot expect to have a life you always dreamt of,
If all you do,
Is destroy everyone else's, just to achieve yours.
You cannot have these expectations,
If you make the assumption that you may be better than anybody else.
You cannot have these expectations,
If you lose yourself in the deeds you do.
Know your surroundings and the people around you,
Before you start to assume that you can get something you never really deserved.
Don't expect to get something,
if you never gave anything.

What can’t be seen
Holds us down
What can’t be spoken
Is the weight in which we drown

I feel it haunting me
The only take away
I truly weigh
Is everything between the words you say

I’m stuck
Here on Earth
You, the sun
I realize your worth
Though with recognition I’m done

I want to feel!
Give me your warmth, make it real!
Make your pauses incarnate
That look in your eye, honor it!

Yes, I understand
You’ve presented the framework
My feet are planted firmly on land

But I’ve seen you melt mountains
Dry up whole streams and fountains
Ushered in new life and hope
A daily cycle, though more grand in scope

I’m begging
Tell me I’m wrong
But I believe you’ve left out
Half your song
The part where I belong
The part where I stop witnessing
And start contributing
The part where I sprout wings
And join you in the sky
Hovering

I hear a few yes’s and a couple no’s
Your voice is as perfect as ever
But it cuts out and implication grows
Bookended by your breath, time lasts forever

Away from the sun my life is bound
I’ve only ever made it a few feet off the ground
The parts that keep me from you
Are when you don’t make a sound

Reality or perception?
Regardless
My hell

I wish that **** apple never fell

I'M NOT JUST SOME NECKLACE
THAT YOU CAN JUST WEAR
WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT
I'M NOT JUST SOME FOOD
THAT YOU CAN JUST THROW AWAY
WHENEVER YOU'RE DONE
I AM MORE THAN THAT
I AM MORE THAN YOU'RE ASSUMPTIONS
I AM MORE THAN YOU'RE INSULTS
I AM MORE THAN YOU'RE BACKSTABBING
BECAUSE
I AM BETTER THAN YOU

A.C.

So I watch
And I listen
and I laugh
at the joke the fates have whispered to me.
No one else seems to hear it...
It’s not quite so funny, you see
The pitter patter of the pity...
You can hear it, you see,
you can see it, actually.
“It’s a small thing amongst friends”
a small thing to see in a stranger’s face:
the twinge of sadness,
confusion,
relief for themselves.
They look at me, seeing what they will never be.
They see, though, what could happen, terribly,
1 in 100,
in 1,000,
10,000, maybe.
And so I watch.
And I listen.
As they whisper,
and they wonder,
and they worry.
And I laugh
at the joke that life telling me, mocking at me.
But it’s not quite so funny, you see,
that whispering of the Wonderers
Asking over politely
But never listening intently
I’ll tell them all about it.
it seems such a small thing.
Listen.
It may be bigger than you see.
They say
“you look so healthy…”
Or
“You don’t look sick to me.”
But I’ll smile.
And I’ll laugh
at the joke that life is telling me.
You can’t hear it, darling.
And you don’t want to.
That’s okay.
It must be a joke anyway...
Nope. This is my life.
But what’s the difference either way?
I’ll smile.
I’ll laugh.
And they’ll hear one day.
“one day” will be today.
They will see.
Not just maybe.
I’ll tell them all about it.
And I’ll watch,
and I’ll listen.
The pitter patter will turn to applause.
pity will somehow be praise
and understanding.
such a thing to see in a stranger’s face;
so curious to me.
It’s not so funny you see,
it’s quite serious, actually.
this is the life that has been given to me.
I’ll joke about it, maybe.
but listen,
possibly you’ll see,
**What someone’s living
isn’t always what it appears to be.