Inhibitions are burned by candlelight,
and resurrected by daybreak.
Let us map each other
like the mountains and valley's of these sheets,
so that our comfort has risen
before the morning phoenix
that so intends to banish our touch
from each other's bodies.
Capture those candles in your eyes,
and I'll spark our fire,
so that the harshest sunlight
could never force us to forget the moonlight
upon our skin,
and those phoenix ashes.

Solitude ground of ashen field
The fire burnt memories feign
Happiness, joy, elucid emotions
In a place where the truth is buried.

Dry leaves left with none trodden on
Talking of theft and safety gone
In a field so tireless and abandoned
But one day comes when one reshapes surroundings.

That day will make all the bonding.

because the darkness grew
I lied and said you would help me be strong
but the fires in my eyes came down to roost
and now I can't help but sift through your ashes
to find your bones

is there any way to undo
the knots I tied around you
before I lit those flaming words within your soul?

is there escape from the walls I build
to keep me in?
because I don't mean to build them around you too
but somehow I do
and then we're stuck together

and more ashes litter the floor

afterwards.

can I not do this anymore?
or is there something inside me that
claws its way through my eyeballs
to find your soul and **** it bare
and leave it to dry in the night?

is it me?

I wish i knew if I did this to you,
or if it is the night
inside me
flirting with the day to find
a little spark of
demented happiness
in the screams of your eyes
when you look at me for

who I really am.

you know what? I wish I knew who I was
because lost inside the beating of my heart
I think I see a spot of color
but then it's gone and
I don't know anymore

I don't think I ever did.

Because there's so much more
to being me
than burning you.

I just want to find out what that is
because this demon isn't gonna stop
and I kinda wish it would
because I think my soul

is dying

or maybe life is death drawn out in tiny ebbing circles
like a tiny ebbing tide
and the ashes that I make of you
are the tears of last year's bride
condensed and broken into
microscopic
shards
of

fairydust?

Inhale, the thick smell
of cinders and ash.
Ignites memories of this place.
The warmth, whispers words
long forgotten.
My feet leave impressions in the earth,
A stamp in time.

I remember when we lived here,
before ashes to ashes,
and before the sun went down,
leaving your eyes shining golden in the dark.
I will never forget the irises in your eyes,
burning as I remember you,
you smolder deeper into me than you know.

Your ghost resonates
in the embers, I sit.
Laying back, the passionate
flame left inside of me,
dances until the sun begins
to paint the sky with,
the majestic hues that
led us here. Suffocated now.
Even fires need to breathe.

I'm blue with a sadness
That burns hot and slowly.
You used to tickle me like tulip
Petals, your lips on my shoulder,
I won't forget you.
I wrestle with an ivy growing invasive
Over my heart.
I'm all of the things we lost and
Never had.

Peeling away the foliage,
I simmer down, let my fire
fade away. I brush away
times erosion, where
my fingertips burn as the
trace the name, that fueled
the light I cherished so dear,
all those years ago.

I'm swollen with a grief,
That grows from the mere fact
That you're just a ghost,
And that I'm growing out of
Rotten soil.

Blooming with malicious thoughts
crawling in the back of my mind.
Slithering down my spine, too cold
for the embers, the smoldering ash,
or charred remains which once burned
white hot in my heart to warm.

Every inch is
dressed in gray
ashes of our yesterday
Scattered all throughout the air
I let them go without much care
since every time I breathe
Through what remains
I ask you not to leave
For me
while you slip
from my hands.
My life line does not understand
Why this array of
Burnt remains is almost through
While I cry out your name
It all tends to be the same
Please don't leave me
Here alone
I'm afraid too
I grieve for you
As all your
Ashes, ashes
Fall...

I am not a body in the wreckage;
 this is not the part where you
 drive by slowly again and again, 
your speckled egg-shell neck craning
 to see what damage you might have done.


There is no yellow-tape around my heart, 
and they have not outlined my shape in chalk. 
I am not an animal in a cage 
here for your amusement when you
 get bored or lonely or just want
 me to remember that you used to be
 the one who kissed me good night.

I will not pull out my entrails 
so you can see if my heart still
 beats or if it was a job well done.
 I am not the debris at ground zero,
 and there will be no memorial built 
here in honour of what you ruined;
 it wasn’t worth the ash it left behind.

Orange and yellow
Exploding with memories like pinpricks and broken glass
"Tiger Lilly's, that's your flower"
"Why tiger Lilly's?"
"Bright and lovely, they suit you. You know you deserve better than what you give yourself. You're more than this drug fiend you say you are"
He drank seven beers at breakfast, the waitress looks over disapprovingly
"Talk to me tell me how you have been, I worry about you."
I eye the empty beers and say nothing
Worried about me while his own addiction flourishes in front of me
His worry for me was a distraction from his own crumbling
"You taste like ashes, everything tastes like ashes"
"I trust you"
Letting go of you with every breath
Goodbye friend
I miss you