All I remember from my childhood
are screams
and shouts
and endless arguments
and me panicking
and crying
and begging for happiness
and begging for silence.

You sit or you stand there, not moving
While I’m shaking with the effort to stay
You laugh when I try to tell you something
Already you know what I’m trying to say
It’s selfish, I’m being entirely unfair
But I want to cause an effect
I live for you, all I own I share
And I resent it sometimes when I reflect
I spiral over events I forget within hours
Throw words like tangible objects at you
Forget that you’ve brought me flowers
Forget how you smile at “Love you too”s
I move everything in your direction
Where you are is where I want to be
My thought process needs a bit of correction
I know even when you’re far, you still love me

Trash talk
Constant bickering
Insults & snide retorts
These gobshites never give it a rest
Must be home

Am I upset?
No, I don't think so.

I think the best way to describe how I feel towards you right now
is to buy a ******* useless vase, instead of adding it to the rest of your collection of useless stuff down in the basement, use it as a decoration, give it life and purpose and make a pretty flower grow in it, every now and then water it, clean the mess it makes, heck-- even take selfies with it. Next, I want you to unwillingly do the following:
put this vase on an ad on Craig's list, give it for free to someone who is on the same continuum of uselessness. Done? ok, now go break that ******* vase. What? You can't? It's not yours anymore? How does THAT feel? Do you feel upset? Angry? Confused? No, you feel helpless. Well now you know how your friendship feels like and what your friendship means. Not cool. We aren't cool. Don't make me break you, it won't fix you into becoming someone I need.

you make me mad,
out of mind,
you make me want
to lose my
**** over you, but
no thanks,
you aint **** anyways.

I pick these fights, with flint and force
To try to spark a fire
Fight me, tell me, I want to hear it
Scream back and tell me I'm a liar
Instead you sit there calmly
Absorbing every blow
Can't you say just how you feel?
God, I've never felt so low

sunday nights at the house are brutal
yelling and being *******
taking our arguments and stuffing them in our pillowcases
to confront the next night

we go to bed angry
not at ourselves but at each other
but we don't care
we'll separate into our rooms
distance ourselves to our own space
think, breathe, and think again

we are not a family
merely people dependent on people
we do not share the same taste
or the same aspiration to exist

we are simply people angry at people in a house on sunday night