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L May 2018
I wrote you something. Im so angry. No idea why. The paint peels, the fruit rot, and I am still here. The world spins, the birds chirp, and I am still here. And people ***** and people moan, and they run and they laugh and they cry and they sing and they mourn and they **** and they die. And I am still here. sitting in the dark lit only by candlelight writing in a tiny notebook. writing about how I feel. And I wasnt planning on writing a poem.
sometimes i still feel like a teenager. and i have no idea why
Aa Harvey May 2018
All that I can give


The sky is falling and my future is always calling;
A voice in the wind screaming at me like a banshee.
Everything is ugly.
No beauty to be found in anything.


As I fall to my knees in shattered pieces,
I need just one love to make me become happy;
But depression strikes, engulfs my life, woe is me
And it drags me down to where I never want to be.


Too old to start again; so full of apathy.
I have no wife and I am all out of time.
They say cheer up;
I want to say shut up.
I will not listen, to your words of sunshine.
I have given up; I have had to take too much.
I have no need for any more of your pretty lies.


I’m so bitter sweet; no symphony.
I write another verse; I guess I’m too greedy.
I have a total lack of self-sufficiency,
But this poetry is mine, so I build my fences high.
Must keep everybody out, letting nobody in;
My place of misery is the only way I know how to exist.


So kept apart from all your love;
I have no heart, so have a heart, because I’ve never had any fun.
I can’t recall happiness; I can no longer try my best,
Because this is it.
This is all that I can give
And this…
This is nothing.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 2018
Loveless


What can I say when sorry just doesn't cut it anymore?
What can I say to win back your love?
What do you do if you love too much?
What do you do, if you are not loved enough?


What is life without love?
Why carry on when you’ve had enough?
Why bother to write poems that just aren’t good?
Why bother to live, when I can’t have love?


(C)2011 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 2018
A new low.


Depression is in session in the black hole of my head;
It drags the misery deep inside me and I wish I was dead.
I no longer want to live in a world so cold;
I shiver.
I never forget the emptiness within my heart
And the solitary of my soul.


Love no longer lives here, for I now live alone;
Oh my God how I do detest the silence of my phone.
No more calls of happiness are made;
A new low to be found.


Just sadness and hurt are all I can see,
In the mirror reflecting my face,
Because you are no longer around.


It’s a new kind of low I’m experiencing now,
But it’s a low I like living in, for it can no longer bring me down.
I have hit rock bottom and I live here alone;
But I am happy in the darkness, it has become my home.


A life without love is hard but it is manageable;
I no longer need the light of loves burning candle,
To keep me alive; I find solace in solitude.
My only desire is to see her ****.


But when you look up at every one, who you think you are below,
You find comfort in your misery, because you have hit a new low.
It’s a new low to cherish because it’s a new low I have
And this new low is mine to manage, so I will struggle on with the show.


Another human being stands in front of me smiling
And all I can think about is how I am still dying.
Their happiness makes me laugh because soon they will fall
And I shall have to feel absolutely nothing at all.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 2018
This is important…to you


With life comes expectation’s, we only disappoint.  
With love comes expectation’s.  I have to disappoint.  
They tell me I must celebrate getting closer to the end.  
I tell them I don't want to and I don't have to, without a girlfriend.


With love you are obligated.  Without I am free to choose.  
They tell me it is another opportunity wasted,
To find someone I do,
Want to fall in love with;
I could end the night with a kiss.  
I say there are three hundred and sixty four other days
And she would find me any other time, if she truly knew me.  


I do not wish celebrate this day,
So come back tomorrow and try again.  
If you are only willing to try to love me once,
Then we will never find a way, so I think you should bounce.
If love is not committed, then tell me, what is it?  
If love has rules that I must follow religiously,
Then where is the spontaneity?  


I want love at first sight and true insight,
Not being forced to be happy this night.  
If I must, then I will begrudgingly
And I will wear a plastic smile and empty eyes;
So tell me if they will still want me?
If you cannot understand my reasons,
Then there is no helping you.  
I will not be helped to help myself, no matter what the season.  
I will remain in oblivion,
Searching for the driven,
Waiting again for passion,
To call out my name.  


I carry my pain in a box of misfortune,
As I walk alone down memory lane.  
Your glass is half full, my soul is shattered.
Happy Birthday...doesn't matter.


(C)2017 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 2018
How to write a bad poem.


Use words that simply rhyme like time and dime,,,
And line after line after line repeat the same line
Repeat your sentences to repeat your point
Without a true interpreter then what is the point!!!


I put no thought into lines without care.
I do not care if tHisss is spelled correctly; I do not care.
I do not care if you even care;
Without love and despair, poets will go nowhere.


Annoy the reader, reader, reader, reader, send them to sleep;
Speak only about other people’s cliché’s and ideals…and sheep.
Say line after line without thinking to read,
Judge someone for their mistakes.  Never be truthful and never free.


Never let the words fall onto the page, without feeling;
Never bother to read other poetry and never bother to try reading.
Never speak from the soul, without any kind of meaning.
This is the poem I do not care about…it’s time I was leaving.


(C)2016 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
Aa Harvey May 2018
Nothing hurts like love


I have tried to always be there.
I have tried to help you with your stupid hair!
I have tried to care…
But I don’t.


I have tried to see our future, to see through.
I have tried to share with you all my truths.
I have tried to love you too…
But I don’t.


Down every river there flows a course.
I think I want a divorce.
We are not married, but we are us.
I think it’s time I took a better shot at love.


I just don’t see my life being with yours.
I just don’t think about the two of us.
I just don’t think I can carry on.
You have broken my heart and stolen my trust.


I no longer believe.
I can no longer be,
A part of your stupid story!
I should say sorry…

But I won’t.


(C)2018 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.
ht May 2018
There's popcorn on the ceiling,
a million bajillion clusters that I've spent days trying to count.
In the 1950's these ceilings exploded into popularity.
And until 1977, homeowners blasted asbestos covered popcorn toward the sky, letting mesothelioma fibers fall back to their floor like it was harmless dust.
I take a deep breath, letting the air settle deep in my chest before letting it back out.
My ceiling is probably not made of asbestos.
It's probably styrofoam or some other cheap, paper-based product.
I take another deep breath.
The EPA banned the use of asbestos in these ceilings.
Apparently, inhaled in large quantities, asbestos causes lung disease, lung scarring, and lung cancer.
Another deep, deep breath.
I continue counting the probably not cancer causing popcorn.
I wonder if I would be able to feel the particles swimming in my lungs like fiber glass–thin, delicate, sharp.
I wonder if it would **** me.
I wonder if my family would file a claim like you see on those old commercials screaming,
"If you or a loved one developed mesothelioma you, yes you, could be entitled to compensation."
Or, something like that.
Breathe.
The air tastes funny.
My ceiling is most likely not made of asbestos.
But, I probably wouldn't care if it was.
I went down a weird internet spiral and now I know a lot about different kinds of ceilings | h.t.
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