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I loved her.

Before I even gazed upon her

I loved her

Before I was even dazed by her words of splendour

I loved her

Not for her ability to
charm others
as even though she just as often harmed others

Not for her straightforward intelligence
for she shared a forward thinking

And not for her beauty & majesty did I love her

Because not far from often, did she bring cruelty and calamity too other that I did love

And when I loved her, it wasn’t because of her bountiful spirit

For when one drove responsibility towards her
she was both accountable and idyllic
her innate strength insurmountable & prolific

And my love did not come from her humble yet dominating origins

Hunters and gatherers roaming in forests

Nor her families evolution, amongst changing nations
into cultural irrigation, harvesting & cultivation

Yet my love was neither superficial

wrought by a feverish desire for atypical minerals

As it is evident she grew up to live lavishly, as if she were a daughter of kings and pharaohs, emperors and regents

Far from superficial
it went beyond my own existence
‘tis was it deep

And watching her grow up
yet older and slowly darker
it flooded me with a sense of grief

For that was the only side she showed me, and allowed others to see

But beyond the seas and ravines, ridges & fjords, she beamed

And that is how it felt for a time
her happiness distant and far gone

Looking back it’s blatant she was far from dormant

But I believe during that time she was merely misled

It took time to connect her heart with her head

And for a time it seemed she was finally ready to proceed

And that was all but my dream
for her

But in my heart, I knew she would waver and ultimately capitulate towards the darker times

I think, even though she was mature and grown

not enough time separated her from her home

a family always wanting to dominate and roam

The precedence was set
The credulous to fret

And even though it’s in her nature to align with basic instincts

I awaited,
like those in scriptures
for a sign
that leads her to brighter precincts.

Of this hope

it was something I dreamt about
until I was left awoke

It was a scathing cycle, hopes festered
with a heart broke

And in the depth of my despair
I was still convinced,
that behind her “politics” & warring nature with others,

that the woman I loved & dreamt, was still there

And you know what?

She convinced me

Not deceitfully nor schemingly
but seemingly
through action

She was on a phase of exploration
visiting foreign nations
and establishing relations

Truth was
All of it was a ruse
corrupting & enslaving
it was just another way of experssing her roots

Since than, I’ve never been lead astray, I knew it was just one big game

Even though I never believed that’s who she wholly
was and is

I can’t help but fell this is the way it is

Her being at an unbeknownst
war with herself

One that expresses all she can be
charming, beautiful, full of majesty

That she is the most complex & admiring existence in this universe

And another of opposite birth

One that can be harming, full of cruelty and calamity

And of this side I fear brings the other to her knees

And it ladens me with tears

But of this side of her
I fail to recognise,
as the woman I loved,
and it’s the only failure
I won’t rectify

The woman I loved,
the beautiful glimpses of allure,
that sparks through the impure and demeaning

Is the only meaning I can find within myself to breathe

But I’m lost
Lost in her mystery
Lost in the past

Because, I don’t see her anymore
giving rise to my love in the past tense

For I don’t know where she lives or with whom she spend her time

But of the worst fear I hold within my heart
is that the woman I loved never existed to begin with

That the idea of her was just a figment
of my idealistic mind

That all these years,
I conjured a fallacy of this supposed
side of her
so I could forgive what she had

And that I believe & fought so fereverently
in her
because in hope
it would bring life to her

Whatever the reality
I will never put cease
to my belief
that I will see her


Because the person
of whom I am talking about


And she is the most beautiful thing I’ve known, regardless of her flaws
My take on personifying history X
Mark Penfold Apr 2018
We lived and loved as one where both would rise or sink upon the tides,
We captured magic in a bottle and it was ours to drink and ours to rise.
I wonder lonely trodden earth in your shadow, chasing ghosts,
In our short time filled with memories in such abundance which i now feed off like fruit gently twisted and plucked from the host.

Over time you can find nourishment in the loneliest of places,
Though scant details left can no longer shape those distant faces.
A newly discovered memory washed up on those abandoned forgotten shores would become a long lost feast welcomed home,
As with any family, lover or companion which found its way back over you beaten track you once left to roam.

With joy and tribal animalistic celebrations I would dance around the fire until its dying embers,
Then greedily lift and suckle at that unexpected gift and consume that fruit from the vine as dormant sparks ignite and the mind remembers.
Its very essence would trickle out and find its way along the dead seas and ravines of my emaciated lips,
Then fall and pool unto the ground in its abundance.

As if a withered oak finds its bark stripped from its core from countless seasons,
Hold on.
And if you have to wither yourself and recede into those dark cold crevices, devoid of reason,
Hold on.
For in countless ages to pass you may wake again, venture out, set roots and flower once more in all your glory.
Innocent and happy in your tiny world your building at the heart and start of your new infant story.
Rushing with the piece
Resting with the ease, of the meals
Hunger of the daydreams, and elation
Rush of blood to the body
Rushing into ravines into the edifice
Friable spice and the ravines, protean about my description
Repetition of the surreptitious, debate preaching
Pecunious, fidelity and high on life lying on my own
Each to his, one for his own, stress about the abortive
Imitative, about love being his stressful, hurtful for her
Free, and then shielding myself about it, hurting her
With defenses, maybe, going to cry broken fears through the ticking time
Yvonne Nice Apr 22
With eyes that can strike both fear and awe
and a heart that was forged of gold
A mind filled with wisdom beyond the Library of Alexandra's
and a touch of a mothers love
A hug of a fresh blanket
and a smile of sun rays
A laugh of life
and a ferocious love that envelopes all that are worthy

It is in them that I find solace
from the world and its many ravines
And when I need it most
I can always find them there
It is in them that I bestow trust
as if a chest of ancient relics
And all they have to do is look at me
and I know they'll be safe

I love you, good friend
More than I even know
Overflowing like a flood
with as much force as an earthquake
I shall always be there, my friend
and i'll do anything for you
For you are the most beautiful dragon
and I could never find another
Because in your soul, is a soul like mine
kindred spirits beyond time
And i'll always love you
Even when the moon falls
I'll be your guiding light when you need me
and we shall haunt the lands together
until the end of time

Thank you <3
I love you so much, you're an amazing little bad *** dragon and I have more faith in you than I do myself.
A glimpse of you, you say!
It is the very thought of you
That makes me keel,
Tumble into the deep ravines
Between swiftly changing vortexes
Of space and nowhereness,
The boundless, timeless emptiness,
To find me rejoicing in the cosiness
Of the many-layered velvety folds
Your thoughts and mine combined
Draw with utmost care and love
Upon the lustrous ringing fabric called joy;
These tenuous folds do not conceal our truth
The prying eyes cannot find.
I would like to be a drop of water in one the tributaries up on a mountain peak, a tributary that unites with other tributaries to make a stream.

And then I’ll be drop of water in a steam, one that unites with other streams to make a river gathering speed and strength as it tumbles down the mountainside.

And then I’ll be a drop of water in a mighty river, one that forces its way through ravines and onto flat land.

And then I’ll be a drop of water in one of the smaller rivers, one that has parted way with the main river to flow sedately into the deep blue sea.

And then I’ll be a drop of water being raised up by the hot summer sun to help form a rain cloud.

And if I’m super lucky the rain cloud might breeze over to another mountain peak where I can fall into another tributary.

I’m an itinerant drop of water,
I go with the flow,
and I don’t care where I go.
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