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Ili Norizan Dec 2016
So let's talk about love, shall we?
Let's talk about you and me,
And all of the possibilities,
The what ifs,
What could be,
Where would we be if I said yes,
Or if you actually asked;

Let's talk about love baby,
About your dreams and frustrations,
Which colour your mood is in today,
How music affects your ability to work and play,
Or if your passion matches your intention,
The way your words echo and resound in every little action,
Would I know it when I see it or do you have to point it out,
Spell it word for word one letter of the alphabet at a time so that I could read it for fear I've been blinded from past experience where my heart ripped out and stomped on as it was laid bare?

Please, could we talk about love honestly,
For we spend nights shouting into an abyss of trust issues,
As we're both too proud to realise how we doubt the other's words by straight up lying through gritted teeth,
Bit lips for me as I type my reply to counter each of your denials,
Only to fall back in tears steadily streaming like rivers carving lines of worry and fear through my aging face that no one could ever look at with pride and admiration,
As you and your youth talk to me about disappointing yourself for not trying to live life,
Forgetting that I too want the very same things you do which was why I fell for you and you knew,
But the thing was that we don't focus on what's in front of us thinking we have a future ahead where it's fixed that you're for me and I for you,
Having forgotten that our choices will pave, shape and build us both;

Can I just talk about love quickly,
Before these words slipped right through me,
As I fall asleep trying to forget the songs you sang one lonely evening,
When you were back in our city searching for company,
Only to find this lonely bitter soul whose heart has been broken to pieces that she can no longer fathom this puzzle,
Hoping you'd somehow help her figure out where the bits belong,
But that's the thing babe,
You never wanted to be a part of anyone but yourself even though you insist that I'm the one you need in your life,
Except maybe not right now,
For I'm slowly rotting away waiting for my time to pass,
And you've got a long journey ahead,
Winding through endless possibilities of romance and newfound fame in the company of young lovely bones,
Spoiled for choices you constantly take me for granted telling me I over-think when all I ask for is your honesty,
And a little bit of trust to let me in;

Now, tell me, do you still want to talk about love with me,
Or are you leaving already?

@byizn
So last night, I gave spoken words another go at the Poetry Open Mic held at this quaint little spot called Unit 23 Café in Shah Alam.

This piece was written right after I booked my slot to perform, and was inspired by Umar and our pretty erratic connection (thanks mostly to me and my over-thinking). Enjoy!
Ili Norizan  Feb 2017
Mirage
Ili Norizan Feb 2017
Love is a mirage,
You see what you feel,
Even when you don't believe,
That anything so pure and true,
Could ever be meant for you,
But love is an image made to change,
Your perception and his,
Of the world and everything else in between a kiss,
For love is a mirage that plays you for a fool,
Where you take fantasy for reality,
And sometimes you're left thinking "I must be crazy",
Still don't be ever so silly,
To deny yourself a smidgen of happy,
For even mirages are there to remind you that sometimes you'll see,
What's only there for you to see but not others,
Only then you'll know if he's the one,
If this love you feel is divine,
One-of-a-kind,
Meant to be until the end of time.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  Jul 2016
Royal
Ili Norizan Jul 2016
It takes patience to be kind,
For the world is cruel my dear,
And you've got to take your time,
Chances come, go, they're forever;

But when things boil over,
I hope you'll know that it's alright,
The end is not that far, not close either,
You just have to go on and fight;

Sure people will break your heart,
Stay strong for yourself don't fall apart,
For you're made to survive this life and the next,
You're a warrior, a goddess, your mother's daughter;

Don't let the others talk you down,
Make you doubt yourself and your crown,
For this life is yours to rule and own,
A cavalry at your disposal to claim the throne.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  Oct 2016
Wind-Chime
Ili Norizan Oct 2016
The wind-chime tolls,
Whispering tales of old,
In the late evening so cold,
Answering the calls of a wolf howl;

A figure stood alone,
In the shadows of fear and fright,
For he but have only to hide,
Until the passing of the night’s grim tide;

Trees rustled in the distance,
As a hooded soul walks in silence,
Cloaked and shrouded in moonlight’s defiance,
He was unconcerned by the stranger’s appearance;

Lips of crimson red,
And eyes dark and seemingly dead,
She glanced at him with not a word,
But somehow he completely understood;

The wind-chime jingles,
While the stars dance a merry twinkle,
For two lonely souls with hearts so brittle,
Had found each other to slowly whittle;

It was a story with many a retelling,
And each of it with no happy ending,
For when love arrives two worlds start colliding,
Taking a toll on those involved like a spell rebounding.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  May 2017
Today
Ili Norizan May 2017
Some days like today, 
I can’t help but wonder about my future.

Like, will I be married?
And if so, what’s he like?
Is he the type to let me take charge,
when it comes to designing our humble abode?
Or will he mind a little glitter and gold?
If I painted our bedroom walls black,
would he think I’ve gone mad?
And if I painted it bright pink,
will he not sleep in?

Some days like today,
I can’t help but wonder about my future.

Will my spouse be bitter,
if I’m just slightly better at building an IKEA furniture?
When there’s nothing good on TV,
will we spend the whole day doing nothing?
And if I ever published anything on paper in ink,
would he find it an enjoyable reading?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

Will my hubby be a stern father,
to our beautiful sons and precious daughters?
Or will he be every possible fictional character,
to keep them company and ward off the monsters they read about,
in every piece of literature?
Will our children call him papa or daddy,
and I, mama or mommy?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

Will our house be by the sea,
or tucked away in the hustle and bustle of the city?
Will I be a domestic goddess,
while he braves the brand new world like an amazing superhero?
And if things get tough,
will we both raise our hands in defeat or rough it out,
like how we would teach our kids?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

But then I remember that present isn't all that bad either,
and come what may,
be there him or no one at all,
I'll be happy either way.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  Jun 2016
I
Ili Norizan Jun 2016
I
I told a lie once,
About how it didn't hurt,
When he left me in silence;

I broke my heart,
To pour out words for him,
But there he goes tearing me apart;

I fell too fast too soon,
His charm got me ensnared with his ways,
And I looked up to him for he was my moon;

I washed away his memories,
For tears flowed freely at the mention of his name,
Even though it's been long it's still him I miss;

I had a hard time rhyming,
It doesn't help that I could barely think,
Not when he was the missing link;

I stayed up to plan my dreams,
Hoping maybe he'll return with me to reality,
But this world has only place for the grim;

I used to love you,
Every detail of your being ingrained in me,
Until the day you made me blue.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Apr 2017
Destiny told me,
That today is not the end,
Tomorrow just a beginning,
And come what may,
We'll always find a way,
Back to love again;

Maybe time will tell,
Even when it stands still,
No hour passing by,
Just a change in scenery,
From day to night,
A different pace,
A brand new phase,
And lovely faces,
One you've seen in dreams,
Put can never seem to place,
Because destiny told me,
That maybe we're meant to be,
Not right now, baby,
But eventually,
If only you understand the possibility,
Of how you complement me,
The way I love you completely.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  Mar 2017
Crew
Ili Norizan Mar 2017
There's something about you,
That makes me feel blue,
But not in a bad way just I haven't a clue,
If your feelings for me is as true,
As you once told me before I said, "I love you too".

But I do,
And if you do too,
Then tell me how I can get through,
To you,
Because sayang you're the one who knows me as well as you,
You're the only one for me, boo,
You and me, we're a crew of two.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Nov 2016
And that's how you lose him,
Your ignorance,
Thinking it's bliss,
Your avoidance,
Thinking it's brave,
When he tries his best to make you
Smile,
Tell you it's alright to cry,
Make you believe you deserve,
Love,
Happiness,
And the whole world,
If he could, he would;

But that's how you lose him,
When you decide it's just a game,
Thinking he's another player,
Like the rest of them,
Even though they have different names,
And he's shown nothing but how he's not the same;

So that's how you lose him,
And you're the one to blame.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  May 2016
I Used To
Ili Norizan May 2016
I used to line my eyes,
Stained my lips red,
Picked a flirty dress,
And his day made;

I used to kiss goodbye,
Wake him with a smile,
Once I even made him cry,
But it was all worthwhile;

I used to write him love,
Long calls between hours,
For him mountains I'll move,
Just so the moment's ours;

I used to be a fool for him,
Put him first above others,
But once he cheated on a whim,
It was over in a matter of hours.

@byizn
Ili Norizan  Nov 2016
He Tried
Ili Norizan Nov 2016
He tried to fix me,
And I was too clumsy,
I broke his heart so steadily,
A small rip and feelings trickled freely;

He tried to show me love,
And I fearful of things I don't have,
Dare not make the same gutsy move,
So instead I gave him a shove;

He tried to understand,
Why I'm afraid of making amends,
When all he did was extend a hand,
And I saw it as a start to many bitter ends;

He tried to show more than just care,
But I took one look and saw despair,
Afraid my temperament will be a scare,
For him to put up with from here on until there;

He tried to win,
And I a sore loser,
Only wanted to ink 'fin',
When there's a whole new chapter.

@byizn
For Umar.
Ili Norizan Nov 2016
He wasn't home,
He's just a house you took shelter in,
When he's got broken windows and opened doors,
Leaking roof and creaking floors,
You don't owe him rent,
He was opened to welcome just about anyone,
And love meant permanent resident,
Not a temporary come-and-go tenant.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Mar 2017
He's like constellations,
A road map to forever,
And every night I count the distance,
Between here and happily-ever-after;

When I look at the stars,
I see universes of us together,
Parallels that was only ours,
And there's nothing we could not weather;

You're a Pisces and I a Virgo,
Two opposites with attraction so strong,
This love we share let us not throw,
For we're meant to be let us prove them wrong;

Light years away from now,
I hope you'll look at me the same way,
When we made our only vow,
To be together forever come what may.

@byizn
I'm not the easiest person to love, and I tend to complicate matters. But ever since you came into my life, I've never been better. You showed me everything I refused to see before, it's now clearer and life beautiful as ever. I know now what it means to belong, to have someone to call home.

Thank you, Umar.

— The End —