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Ili Norizan Jan 2018
If there's hell to pay,
Then surely heaven awaits,
But how do I get there,
who's gonna show me the way?
Am I on track or way off at this rate;

I'm hellbent on getting to heaven,
Hoping it'll be my final destination,
For I fear what's waiting in the fiery den,
Yet I'm still having trouble in terms of devotion,
But that's just me being human;

So what's the difference,
Haven,
Heaven,
Paradise,
For each represents,
a person,
a feeling,
and destiny for those devoted in faithfulness,
As hell is the prize for my defiance.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Oct 2017
Love had a funny story to tell,
About this girl who always seem to find herself saying "oh well",
Because no matter how hard she try to not dwell,
Oh how the red flags are raised, ringing that one really loud bell,
But it wasn't because she was under a spell,
More because of how there's a quell,
Where even though she finds someone she'd gel (with),
For some odd reason things won't ever go her way for her to be all, "oh swell".

@byizn
Ili Norizan May 2017
She grew up,
Seeing her reflections,
A contorted view of imperfections,
Something she wishes to fix,
But have no idea how to,
As she struggles with her inner demons,
Making a deal with the devil,
And not knowing if there's comfort in shadows,
Or trouble lurking in the corners,
Of her mind.

She grew up,
Over the years,
Hoping to make sense of things,
Of why she's unlike the others,
Who never seems to falter,
Constantly having those as eager,
To know and love them,
When she keeps on finding dead ends,
In the company of those she wishes to avoid,
As though she goes around looking for trouble,
When all she's ever done,
Was search for the one,
She could call her own.

She grew up,
With ever blink of an eye,
She changed and built herself,
Upon the remains of her long forgotten past,
The ruins of regrets and lessons learned,
And as time flashes before her,
Her next steps were slow and steady,
Firmly grounded,
Yet her head held high,
Up in the clouds,
Where kingdoms of dreams,
Worked their magic,
Reminding her that she's writing a fantasy,
Not another tragedy.

@byizn
Ili Norizan May 2017
Some days like today, 
I can’t help but wonder about my future.

Like, will I be married?
And if so, what’s he like?
Is he the type to let me take charge,
when it comes to designing our humble abode?
Or will he mind a little glitter and gold?
If I painted our bedroom walls black,
would he think I’ve gone mad?
And if I painted it bright pink,
will he not sleep in?

Some days like today,
I can’t help but wonder about my future.

Will my spouse be bitter,
if I’m just slightly better at building an IKEA furniture?
When there’s nothing good on TV,
will we spend the whole day doing nothing?
And if I ever published anything on paper in ink,
would he find it an enjoyable reading?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

Will my hubby be a stern father,
to our beautiful sons and precious daughters?
Or will he be every possible fictional character,
to keep them company and ward off the monsters they read about,
in every piece of literature?
Will our children call him papa or daddy,
and I, mama or mommy?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

Will our house be by the sea,
or tucked away in the hustle and bustle of the city?
Will I be a domestic goddess,
while he braves the brand new world like an amazing superhero?
And if things get tough,
will we both raise our hands in defeat or rough it out,
like how we would teach our kids?

Some days like today,
I can't help but wonder about my future.

But then I remember that present isn't all that bad either,
and come what may,
be there him or no one at all,
I'll be happy either way.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Feb 2017
Love is a mirage,
You see what you feel,
Even when you don't believe,
That anything so pure and true,
Could ever be meant for you,
But love is an image made to change,
Your perception and his,
Of the world and everything else in between a kiss,
For love is a mirage that plays you for a fool,
Where you take fantasy for reality,
And sometimes you're left thinking "I must be crazy",
Still don't be ever so silly,
To deny yourself a smidgen of happy,
For even mirages are there to remind you that sometimes you'll see,
What's only there for you to see but not others,
Only then you'll know if he's the one,
If this love you feel is divine,
One-of-a-kind,
Meant to be until the end of time.

@byizn
Ili Norizan Dec 2016
Nobody can break me,
But myself,
And I do it so carefully,
To build a shelf,
Filled with stories of the lonely,
Pages of truth known only to me,
For I am the one they know,
To own the barely beating heart
That pumps ink instead of blood;

I break it on the daily,
To spill words so familiar,
Yet foreign like careless whisper,
Like the sweet nothings he once gave me,
Or the promise he broke chance after chance;

Still my heart held on,
Ink filled to the brim,
Flowing through the tips,
Coursing through every vein,
At the touch of my bony fingers,
Dancing away on screens,
Or the clickity clacking,
From typing bits of him,
But more of me,
And how I never knew,
That truth is this heart,
It bleeds free,
It bleeds true,
But not in shades of red,
Just black and blue.

@byizn
I'm gonna recite this tomorrow at the open mic at @gapai_kitchen (somewhere in PJ, Malaysia). Wish me luck!
Ili Norizan Nov 2016
He tried to fix me,
And I was too clumsy,
I broke his heart so steadily,
A small rip and feelings trickled freely;

He tried to show me love,
And I fearful of things I don't have,
Dare not make the same gutsy move,
So instead I gave him a shove;

He tried to understand,
Why I'm afraid of making amends,
When all he did was extend a hand,
And I saw it as a start to many bitter ends;

He tried to show more than just care,
But I took one look and saw despair,
Afraid my temperament will be a scare,
For him to put up with from here on until there;

He tried to win,
And I a sore loser,
Only wanted to ink 'fin',
When there's a whole new chapter.

@byizn
For Umar.

— The End —