Ease this margin with your brittle fingers
Touch and replenish
Nothing lost
Except your son
Waiting for you
On the staircase
Benevolent friend
Made clear
And your dreams
Cried out
Through the garden
My legs were made whole
My eyes
Track every particle
Till your lovely return

I have a rage inside me that cannot be measured
And a love inside me that is unfathomable
If I cannot indulge in one
I will fall into the other
Endlessly

I feel duality in your breath
Blue spirals
A dying wave
We were nothing

Must it remain?
I saw you
I saw you there
Floated away
For a minute
Held
My hand
You
You ghost
Goodbye

Lay still
Intention to ****
Lies and ***
Taking pills like tex-mex
Your love is so cruel
Your arms held me like a fool
Dungeons dark and deep
My body lays and my eyes weep
I was ultimately worthless to keep
Goodnight my dear
Nothing but my mind to fear
So when you feel a little bit colder
I strongly suggest to look over your shoulder
With the blood on your hands you'll need a mop
And now this is where I think the poem should stop

Slip through the window
Undo the screen
Car parked outside
My friends are waiting
******* on cars
Midnight rise
Deep breaths
To heal
And feel
Again
Your voice slowed
And slurred with sleep
You never come
So I listen alone
Precise in impunity
But weak in stature
And I hope
That only once
Your need
Would have a cause
So great as this

Thinking of you today
I hope
You find the strength
To leave behind reasons
And their undoing
A lesser man
Would leave these stories untold

Un nom de plume
It doesn't matter where
Tout enfin
Vous atteignez répit
Pas de lutte
Nous tenons cette mort
Comme un courant sous-jacent
Vos échecs vous ordonnez
Vicious
But not unnoticed

Can it be just you and I tonight?

I am burdened as a soul
With no flight path
No way out
No way in
The meaningless operation of my souls path
Was not really meant for earth
And how could I?
How could I really?
How could I die here?
I wasn't born here
My soul
Intangible

Maybe
Just maybe, it was all one sad moment
My mind rushed through the series of consequences
Could feel myself dry out
With your voice
Crackling
And shaking
I never felt such mortality
Promised it was for the best
For the return would be much sweeter
Promised I could still
Feel pain
As I write this in a cold coffeehouse
Flooded
No
Bare
Now you know
I never came back

You had been so lonely
Full of warmth
Waiting for me
As I walked past the cell block
Shuffling my feet out the door
Piping hot food
A welcome reprieve
You looked at me
As one of those magazines
Your father writes for
You kept me
As your mother's dying wrist
Was left dangling
In your outstretched hand
You smiled
As if everything would come together
All at once
I would leave you
Like a stray fed too long
You told people
It was because I was never loved
Properly
I was heavy sand
When you were the easing tide

Only one more time
And you will be sane
Only two more times
And you will gain
Never knowing
Never wanting
But always made
Now is the time for the weak
As Frost said
Promises to keep
Trench along till you sleep
Many souls lost
None that weep

God, and how could you?
Or how could I?
Be the greatest?
With my mother, far away
My father dead
My wife distant
My children, unknowing
Without a penny to **** on
And without a place to call home
The inevitable falling and tearing of my very hope
I'm the world's saddest poet, and I'll tell you why
Without a single trace
Recognizable to anyone
I have brought forth my own demons
To walk with me
They told me
Never
To leave you
Alone

We sat on rustic patio chairs
In the middle of a brightly shining neon sign
I lean back and lit a cigarette for both of us
As you exhale the smoke through your mouth
It projects a cloud
That floats over the red neon letters
Dimming it for a few seconds
And releasing light once more on my gaze
Smoke portals through my nose
And casts a screen between you and I
All I can do to keep silent
Is to stare in your eyes
Sometimes when I look back
In my memory of that night
We're sitting on a balcony
Or inside a vintage boutique
Or walking endlessly through brick paved side-streets
But I know the truth
And somehow it comforts me till this very day
We chit-chat a while
Politics
Your mother
The weather
Until you took me home
And I drift asleep
In your
Passenger seat

Worship the words I don't say
Until light
That which is contained
And not squandered
And that which is
Leave behind
Tonight we drink deep
Colorado weather
Texas treasure
Keep up now
Daring monolith
Rise up
Transform
With me
Tonight

You climbed out the window that night
But I followed you
We ran for a bit
Rain fell
Your comprised rendition
Placed before you
Looked up
For a second
Still
Breathing
In solace
Streetlight above my head
Don't leave
Walk across this broken land
With me
Encapsulate my thoughts
On the edge of this night sky
Thinking thoughts
My love
You have been given before
Spellbound
These fragments
I'm willing
To walk you home

I never thought you would pray
For things to stay the same
So now you will lay
With your guilt
And never say
The song is complete
Listen
Hear each refrain
They go quietly
And without much shame
Never know
Never show
Never ever grow
Stay the same
Carved in the tree is your name
Without me
Once again
You will not win
Try as you may

It doesn't have to be like this

It's torn
This flaunted melody
I stand admired
Though former thoughts shattered
This bliss cherished
To not drink death
But to cradle it
Idly
They speak of love
And three months of no answers
Lusting after something unnamed
So terrible
With a drunken heart
Held eternally by another

And your neck throbs in syncopated sweat

Pleasing ascension

One final night drive

Listening to the lullaby from lost river

Twirling, swirling, killing time
It's midnight as I wait for you
Sixty odd days to go
Driving
Being ripped apart
Birthday lunch next door
Invisible empire
My high-school crush
And then, I said:
That's how you dance,
With lit cigarette in hand

Such a shameful waste of love
So goodnight

You will always adore her
Always
Even with her hands around your throat
Especially then
A ton of love
Soon to be followed
A ghost

I'm crying picturing your broken heart

They say you've gone away from me
But I can feel you when you breathe

His younger brother died
Some time ago
So he sat and cried
Eating his happy meal
Ironically
Sitting on the fourth church pew
We sang hymns
He prayed curses
To a God that didn't seem to hear
Or a mother that wore too much make-up
A father that beat him every day
Wise eyes
Written on his face
At such a young age
Now
As I stroll the grounds
Feeling you six and a half feet beneath
I learned what you knew
All along
How can you not pity his place?
Should have known
For fear of the footsteps
At bedtime

I'm passing you
In the left lane
Moving slow
Molasses in winter
Charming beauty seen right through
Kissing booth in Vegas
Peyote sun in Jersey
And things change
People expire
The hurt consumes you
Remember when you were a child
When things lasted forever

To make a heart
This desperate
Weep

My soul
Not something to come and go with the wind
It's not something to be thrown on the tile floor
When it's been in a losing fight
So I'll sit here
And pretend that you know now
When I can't even tell you the correct word
You expect to sip lava through a straw
To fly while hiding in a cave
To know the utmost reach of my alignment to the stars
I cannot be tamed

At night
With clasped hands
Near the ocean
Trembling
The wind on our backs
Melted smile
One memory made
One cancer cured
Two notes burned
And six letters kept
Hazel eyes
Be mine tonight

You told it was important
Told me it was the last thing you had
A brutal honesty about you
Crying from denial
A broken keyboard
A fast laugh or two
Mostly from your brother
Or the girl behind the counter
Just at once
Your parents
Fast asleep
Watching the ball drop
My friend in the crowd
Stolen wine
Given time
How precious this was
So it was taken
Away

And I'd never be whole again
To feel anything
I would like to encompass my past
Light silhouetting my face
Writing this to you
One last time
My stomach as a well
Forever dropping and pulling
Being emptied out
And your depths are unknown to me
I hear an echo
In the midst of the night
Haunting my bones
My lungs to ache
Rebuilt
From ages ago
In the mist
And the lights
Stirring
There
I wait for you
And no mortal may know

She left me
Leaving me
She saved me
Saving me
Killed her
Her death awoke me
Awaking me
I left her

The lights go low
On this city tonight and you
Are you waiting?
Scared
I am
Scared
He often looked into my eyes
Maybe said it once
Maybe twice
Mentioned it was always like this
Vibrating
And echoes moved past
Take a bow
Leaning over my balcony
Stretched out in the moonlight
Waiting
Come closer
I know I should have left
Run away
But still afraid
And the rain
It won't stop coming down
Hit repeat
Light me one up
Let's go through this again
You comfort me
That's what he said

I have a rage inside me that cannot be measured

And a love inside me that cannot be fathomed

If I cannot indulge in one,

I will fall into the other

Endlessly

Mentioning the word "forever",
Feels like an excuse
Whether it's in terms of commitment
Or the future held between you and another person
There really is no forever
I knew this as I stepped out of your car
Turning to look around the parking garage
Somewhat hesitant to be there
We agreed to take a moment and catch our breath
In the here and now of our busy lives
So we drove to Medley Park
It was late afternoon,
And the masses of people had started to die down
Allowing a flood of teenagers and twenty-somethings
To walk around and talk in serious ways
All throughout the promenades
The scene felt reminiscent of a Paris strip
As night fell, she and I strolled hand in hand
Around the gardens and cobblestone sidewalks
Smiling at strangers
And gazing at the neon lights
That illuminated the alleyways
Of this glazed over palace of noir architecture
Strange now,
How I forget I was too nervous
Nor remember when you touched my hand

These sweet memories will be buried in time
Sleep tonight and know a morning peace
Hidden words to an end
Complete
Final
Music on a highway
Their silent thunder can never match mine

Never took notice
But you trust this salvation
Caught in the uproar
Damnation
Clenched fist in hand
Whispers from lost lovers
We sink
You'll be permitted
You'll hit
And miss
That broken machine
Unwinding
When he said
Girl
You're young right now
But I'll wait
Because I don't want to be an escape

I want to believe
I will find home

Forced transmission
Minutes on fingers towards hospitals
Closer to gold now
Bitter taste to sip from this temple
Even more of your known erosion
Songs heal the gaze of the innocent
This face of mine falls to hold the nights spent warmth
False enigma
Cry
Forgotten
Blues mixed with reds
A feeling of something more than her

And did you know?
Your mother was deathly sick
Yes, right till the end
Her whimpering your name
Her son has left far away
Your family and their questions
How I lied and said you were working
So long I convinced them of your piety
And so long I hated you
Not for your decision
But that you had a choice
I never did

I just received your letter
It must be tough
Knowing you shouldn't be there
Figuring out you made a mistake
That's what it is, a mistake
I hope you're done
There is a very intelligent person inside you
I know it's your life and yours to live how you want
But I'm your father
I'm the only one you've got
You'll have to make the best of your situation
If I'm to speak honestly,
You need to accept help from the people that can
You know how I am
I know, that you're better than this
I hope you realize how much people care
Especially me
I'll send more money soon
I'm on leave from work,
But that will soon change
I'll write more in my next letter
I hope you're doing okay
Love, Pa

Loss of fear
Inexplicably
Became fear of loss

What's to stop them?
In a panic
Once turned around
And sacred
We will meet beneath the lights again
And I'll turn for you
I'll do anything for you
**** if you will your pure intentions
And have everyone alone
Along
And then we will meet again
This is more
This will turn out better
This chance
But willingly terrified
You can lay down
Music bursting through the seams
Smoke near the shadow of your face
The lights illuminate us one last time
Never leave
Let me be what I want
Never leave

Really looking back
I noticed there are many different kinds of people

Some were meant to leave
Some were meant to stay

Some needed you
Some wanted you
Some were closer than a brother
Some were very far away

Some loved you with all their heart
Some never loved you
Some were mothers
Some were sisters
Some looked right through the smoke
Some couldn't see tomorrow

Some needed saving
Some needed to drown

I've felt them all
Follow the map

Be aware
No man has let their story
Become this real