Shoved back
By this thin black veil
Held neatly
By Hades thin fingers
No longer guided by angels
Soft
And sad
The look I give
Can smash their dreams
This eradicating wormhole
These words are yours to sing
As you enter heaven
I feel bitter
Caught between two points
Sharing these embers
For better use
And once more
So at ease
Tired
Angry
Melted away
By your digitized wisdom

There was nothing
Nothing but loneliness
And the subtle
The desperate words
That never came forth
But in a moment of despair
That was all that had been offered
And the quietness
The few things that could be shown
As we sit and stare
In the eyes of the night sky

When I was young
Solemn
We awaited this great Christmas night
With shining eyes
When I was young
And a heart of heavy gold
A carousel of lights and magic
Smoky evening and cold window-frames
When I was young
A child speaking sweet words
And giving cherished smiles
Across the gulf of a winter night
When I was young
I wish it would have stayed this way
Not to be caught in sleep
But to be home just once more
When I was young
A sister holding me with compassionate grace
A real warmth on this blessed Eve
And my heart pounding of pure love
When I was young

Watch the sea as a fire empties out into you

You are a walking dream

I pray we find hidden truths to extend your myth

We're finally coming home

With this story I understand a complete hope

A house of red

Second smoke

Falling asleep in your bath at twilight

Oh we lay for a while
Bleaching in the city sun
Carefully awaiting
Reproach
The bustling traffic below
Chain-smoking a dozen Camels
Hearing for the first time
Our, call
Mall entrances
Cafe doorsteps
Bus stations
Even you
Even you didn't know you would go away
So for the first time
Let it be the last time
Gone

Breathless
You too could see
That this heart isn't your playground
Even though you promised
Are you safe?
Are you loved?
Your environment
Has taken care of you
And you speak
You speak only as you know how
Surrounded in the amphitheater
Amongst the friends and foes
I am not there
But I'm on my way
To your corroded memory
The gutted consciousness that is your mind
Night after night of questions
Left me unable to answer your repose
Tranquility
A source foreign and fragile to me
Never made voltaic by the moonlight

How could you know?
For staring on that time
Into the nothingness
Feeling so alone
But your absence
Witheld
Simply comforted me
Though you drank of sweet sleep
My eyes swallowed the turmoil
And my memories stayed suppressed
Though I wanted them dead
Offered up
With palms stretched out
Engrained
Like satellite images
Reasoned to exist

Your lungs keep steady rhythm
But let your hands shake
Passing by the moonlit streets
I will let you lie restless
And hope that you're okay
Second level parking
I wait for you there
Like a moth to light

A rose appears
In heat I fall
Into chaos and a feral mixture
So close to pain
And smile
And to inhale
Inhale you
The touch beneath my flames
Oh I try, and do come undone
Dissolve

Something has now come between us

There is silence finally

Amongst voices

Sand

Spilling out

Between pockets of stars

No one knows anyone anymore
Anyone knows
No one wants to know
Has life always been like that?
Funny now
That I should have known
That even within these feelings
They were but a stranger
Even to you

Feeling too weak
She is torn out from my chest
Fleeting from my heart
You can call us even
Projecting sounds of defeat
Grandiose
Feeling better now
Throwing these things to the side
Giving off the scent of your skin
Finding you cold
Wet
Naked
For me
To taste
And warm you
Born with the bluest eyes
With the sin inside
Just once more

It's past 9 o'clock now
So I know you should be asleep
The nurse
Passed through for her rounds
The machines
Humming and murmuring
With an electric glow
I walk through the corridors
To your place of rest
Last one on the left
Your eyes are closed
As I enter the room
You smile, weakly
My eyes
Filled with grief
Deciding whether to tell you
How many hours I cried
Alone in the shower
In our bed
Without your warmth
So I sit with you for a while
Until you drift away
I'll be here
I'll help answer all the questions
And I hear you say
You think they'll let you go home tomorrow
But my love
You've never left home

Our vessels
Fleeting
Naked
Conceptual exit
Bleached impermanence
Change in warmth
Back inside now
Aspiring
Our gaze
Breaking repose
Rhythmic
Bold
Throat collapse
Acidic and electric
Fixation and rapture
Swollen dust
A moment gone
Days late
Lacking demise
Flooded with broken failures

I want everything to become how it once existed

The foolishness of youth
Long cars ride with empty promises on my lips
To dig my nails into the earth again and feel safe

This perished effort to move on leaves me tainted

Next year will not be better

My love for sleep continues with great pace
I sit and stare with smoky eyes

You remain as a still in my rusted memory

This complex code
The love shared
Whispered through the pines
Back again
Is not as you think it is
Suddenly
But with gentle reprieve
Perverse lips
Stolen notebooks
The shelter
Felt by you
Alone
Love without gravity
In time
As I know you
Darling
Wait
Sleep still tonight
It will come
As you sit thinking
Praying and dreaming
Above
And with a sudden gasp
Your heart rampages
With no known destination

Vigilant at best
These tendrils of my mind
Enduring the mixture
Of gold and blood
To the graphite center
Of your dear heart
May I speak true?
Of perception
Through wires
Not bound
In the vivid corruption
That is my home
But of truth
Buried
With such a sweet friend
Forever

She responded with a whisper of "no"
As the ship dragged on
The hull
Buried deep in dust
The navigation
Fast asleep
Traveling through space
To our home planet
Some years ago
War is over
Those we keep
Stay quiet and still
Those we don't
Do not speak until our return
Walking to the glass
We see the stars align
To spell our name out in the sky

Beautiful death
Shiny handles on your sister's casket
Denial of a thousand doors
A shadow's noise
To examine a dull moon
Kinder notice with innocence grasping
Angel awake
A stomach full of ocean
Rapture saves, a pool fades
There are no second questions
And at last
Her weeping
Removed

Suffocation via ceilings
Roots growing in my marrow
Battery acid injections
Sweet warmth with glass bones
Waiting for a change we can stomach
Hope left days ago
Dying in a concrete world
But with this pain you will never show
And with my pain you will never know
It's insane but I'm meant to grow

Sit with me brother
Watch
As the world turns
And burns
Breaths filled with smoke
And the broken hope
Of machines
As our very last friend
Taste its pleasure
As I laugh at jokes
Inside this heart of solitude
Seeing the patterns
Of a morphine drip
Lead straight to your thoughts
Life's last request
To be held
Till your end

Consider my dues paid
Brewed with freedom
Pain melancholy
Intricately woven in
With a severe lack of care
I somehow guessed
We would part ways
Finally

No, I'm fine
I can put it in a book one day
Burning spiral of a memoir
Crack the spine of the book
Leave it out in the rain
Ash my cigarettes on the pages
Burn holes through the red line
Drip coffee to the bottom
I can do this
I'm fine
God, I'm fine
I'll be okay
And in the time it takes to type this,
We can sit on the balcony while it rains
And I will have another cigarette
We can laugh
I will cry for myself
I will sit for a while
Missing her
Missing the lights
Not missing a thing
You never do brother
Our blood is so thick
Can you still smile into my eyes?

You said falling felt like dreaming

We speak of holding with teeth

A warmth forms inside your chest

This death

Is the last time

Frailty

Unmatched in depth

Your eyes swell with heat

God, and I felt so terrible
That you were obliged to sit in that corner
Fearing the worst
But I never withdrew my eyes
And they didn't stop talking
They thought they had my love
You knew it was beautifully fused in you
So I quickly take your hand
Out the backdoor
Into your car
Light up two Red's
Twenty-two degrees
Pass the winding street
Where my lover sleeps

Felt like coming home
A heavy wake slain
Calm with pearl floors
Siren melodies
Air replaced by gasoline
Realizing a colder patience
Simple hold
A torn waiting
You burn a stained memory
But know this
I saw the light
On the day he died
Eyes open wide

It happened one night
Amongst the cheers and patterns of conversations
Love turned to hate
Thought you could be alive again
But when you turned the handle
You misplaced one thing
And in turn the past could prove
When you murdered me
You forgot about the blood stains
That were left on your memory
And in this way,
I can never die

Back again
Sitting
Collecting somewhere
Moments of weakness
Spiraled drip
Murmurs in the basement
Your father's slouched shoulders
But still unsatisfied
In sleepy remorse
Feeling less than abysmal
Clean sheets and short days
But great you would become
Not in the sharpness of your current
But in the promise
Of your potential
Actualized
Bedside note
Your brother singing upstairs
Night born sadness

Bold
Years ago,
I had three words for that night
Or was it six?
They'll come back
I'm sure
Rather, I'll find them
Unsure during the search
Years ago,
I see warmth
My throat goes numb
I open a red door
Face flushed
Structural purity
Fusing cells with mine
Discomfort
Something quiet
From the end

We wish to know our own names
Sounds of thunder move you inside

Yes this could be it
Final prose for a washed up lover
Harnessed pain
Night terrors
Paralyzed with memories
Of betrayal
Regret
So please hold me
But no matter
How much
I scream your name
You will not come back to me
I fear the worst
Is yet to come
Because you're still running
In my dreams

A chamber promise nothing less
Pre-screened destiny
This is how the night begins
We slip inside our seventh skins
One minute and thirty-nine seconds
On short circuit

Leave both parties behind
Fear of memories fractured
As underneath I let you sleep
These small words
Used as hopeful bricks
For loving structures
You're my only angel
These secrets of your deepest well
Flowing purity from beyond
So cruelly
I pulled you from the wreckage
Steered from broken lovers
Diminishing light
This heart now boils over
Perished systems renewed
Until decay
And a belief
Of trust
In the highest plateau
Pray
Sleep
Please
Never leave
Your voice is the echo
Of machines
Hammering the iron of my heart
Back into place

Cannot imagine the space
Between us

Fist clenched
Arm torn
Head turned
The forest went dark
One or two moments
Your breath leads the way
Ghosts made present
Firework fog
Magnificent display
Tell me once more
What it was like
You held close for the beat
With my heart lead astray
Ashes near the ground
Wondering what became of her
To stop them
In a panic
So sacred
We will meet beneath the lights again
And I'll turn for you
Do anything to understand
This soiled mind
**** your pure intentions
Take everyone alone
Somewhere along
Better chance
But willingly terrified
I lay down
Music bursting through the seams
Smoke near the shadow of your face
The lights illuminated
One last time
Never leave
Let me be what I want

Body alone

She could have done so much better

Now they have a child together

Her laugh is broken as ever

Slit wrists don't make her shudder

Tomorrow they awake with fever

Another cigarette is the only endeavor

Let's creep silently

Quietly

In this instance, maniacally

For my love, in its entirety

Is nothing but a sobriety

Smooth
Like you could walk every step alone
Quick glances in the alleyway
Pretentious but humble
Smoking
The tobacco folds away
In despair
Your destination
Not obvious in nature
However held true
Poisonous brew
Never slipping
Never falling
Always with turn
And swift feet to match

Begin again

The unplayed nostalgic sounds

A gentle whisper and caress on your birthday

Your mother leaving a light on for me

That safe smell of heat in your parents house

By this
I know
You'll never say you're wrong

I feel duality in your breath
Blue spirals
A dying wave
We were nothing

Can it be just you and I tonight?

Lay still
Intention to ****
Lies and ***
Taking pills like tex-mex
Your love is so cruel
Your arms held me like a fool
Dungeons dark and deep
My body lays and my eyes weep
I was ultimately worthless to keep
Goodnight my dear
Nothing but my mind to fear
So when you feel a little bit colder
I strongly suggest to look over your shoulder
With the blood on your hands you'll need a mop
And now this is where I think the poem should stop

I still can't say you've recovered
I still can't say you've died

Fulfill
And wait for those
Who do not keep friends long
Or drench their cruelty
With the malice
Held tightly behind their teeth
Keep close for now
And the silence may guide you
After all this time
The sea swept away everything else
Ounces of stupor born from a bottle
And the weight thereof
Made gold
By wisdom far away