I tried so hard to wipe away
Those tears falling from my eyes,
I felt your hand hold mine
Then I finally saw paradise.

‘Twas the loveliest day of my life
When auburn leaves tend to fall,
And we were each other’s remedy
From the heartbreaks we had before.

Along the drive we used to tread
Despite our busy days ahead,
We’ve had enough of a sweet talk
A cup of mocha to keep us from cold.

I felt the warmth of your embrace
Beautiful times I’d forever treasure,
Those tender words your lips can’t miss
Not even the genius can measure.

It was not a piece from so-called forever
We never vowed of anything fake,
We’re just off to cherish moments together
Never thinking of such a blue fate.

We gathered each chronicle we get
From the perfect portrait we made,
As it showered upon us with gentle haste
We never thought it would fade.

The clock continued to take control
Of the love we both loved to have,
But the world seems to have taken its toll
We weren’t meant to last, no, I guess not.

Slowly, smiles were all for pretense
Distance were made between two hearts,
Conflicting thoughts then grew immense
Seems like it's all going to fall fast.

Million miles away from each other
Cried in vain, we’re drifted apart,
Just cannot think of any better
Watch the raindrops fail to stop.

Soon it was winter in the city I’m in
A snowflake formed a cut on my cheek,
But it was nothing compared to this pain
A delightful stuff that proved me I’m weak.

I tried to run away from the lame scene
Millions of footprints behind me were seen,
I don’t know where to go or where to hide
I just have to cry but no one’s by my side.

Tears rolled over my forever bleeding scar
I wiped it away and it hurt so much more,
I knew I will never find comfort again
Staying miserable for life, sure as said.

And then again, I felt that same old warmth
Only to realize that in your arms, I was wrapped,
You said you just can’t make another start
Without me, our days only seem lonely apart.

That was the day I realized once more
Just like the old memories of us before,
A sip of love will surely take it all
And in love, I know, we will forever fall.

And again, he played with his words
And again, I wished they were mine
And again, I said with a curse
Again, it was never mine to mind.

And again, he proceeded with charm
And again, I would see him around
And again, there's nothing I could do
*Again, how do I not want you?

I am.

Beneath the nimbus, a rainy day
I've gathered all my sunny days,
For pleasure's a thousand miles away
And the troubles ahead, now I must face.

The lilacs, the lilies, the jack-in-the-pulpits
The green fields, so calm, so serene, so placid,
I'm leaving everything, oh I must've lost my wits
'Cause my fortune's to take my miserable lead.

As I journeyed along the roads and thorns
There on my sides are foxes that scorn,
Leaping across and behind my soul
But I hold on tight to my dreams and goal.

Now I have travelled long enough to die
But until where would this misery of mine lie?
If I'll take the apple from the mad serpent by his lies
Will I ever come to my Father's paradise?

It's easy to think of what and where you want to be
But the hardest part's when you still never see,
The reason, and where would all of these lead you
And in your struggle, still you never find a clue.

Oh I don't know if in this voyage I could still stand
For now, all I want to do is rest on the bottomland,
And see the azure sky fall upon my face
And dream way long of a fairytale-like place.

She knew so well, she was broken
Grazed by the dark episodes of her life
But for a reason not well spoken
She bottles up her pretty lies.

Too soon, oh Heaven. How do I despair?
Should You becalm the sea, why not seemingly fair?

Questions and tempest, in just a minute stare
All, in a trice, turned out as an awful nightmare
Hovering over the memories, hearts are still in pain
Tears are carefully hidden, sore wounds she'd rather feign.

I knew I wasn't dreaming, but for once I'd like to know.
Can we still dream much further despite a losing show?

Such a lax image, she tends to portray
Religiously, so patiently, she never goes astray
At the darkest edges of her discernible universe
Beyond our keenest senses, she buries a pitch black curse.

Shame on me, my steadfast wishes, I can hardly collect.
Another revolution yet; oh, how do I deflect?

Like a western avalanche, her days came rolling by
As if they're going out of hand, over her head, we can testify
She can just give up, or give another shot, no one seems to know
But in her mind, she knows just why she was there all from the word go.

I know to whom I shall only concede, never to a ruthless battle.
Disjoint, unarmed, I could always be; but my faith, no one can throttle.

And so the tale of this one staunch damsel never ended wrong
She might have had some tough good byes, but that made her strong
Cropping out the tragedy from the frame, she tries to recover from drama
Star-crossed, perhaps, but not til she stops becoming the one tough Andrea.

Many days and nights, I wished my life could be like an Angel's harmony
Sweet... Perfect... In tune...
But during those many days and nights
While I wished my life to just come by
As flawless as my favorite fairy tales and fancy novels
Fate strung the wrong string
Pulled me out of my comfort ring
Turned everything upside down
And with billions of people around me somehow
I felt completely alone, doing every wrong thing all along.

Many days and many nights
Like the many nightmares that took away my smiles
While I went on with my own curse,
Breathing in the life that hurt me first,
Exhaling everything out of my weakened body,
Treading on a path that kept me cold and down and lowkey
Saving my weary soul from being burnt
Rescuing others while I was in absolute hurt,
Not realizing what it's all worth.

I thought it could be sweet... Perfect... In tune...

But like that one Angel who deviated from its moral roots,
Like its harmony that's destitute of perfect tune,
I had to live my life in all the darkest rooms.

I just want to run away from all this life's dooms
And run back into His hands and finally find my ultimate refuge.

I met you when I was in the worst chapters of my days
When my arms hang loose towards the ground
While a wave of sketchy, grand mem'ries take its chance
To escape from the past, a replay that won't subside.

I met you when my heart started to crash and wear out
When my eyes began to water, tears streamed down
And my mind wandered back the many days and nights
When happiness meant pain and tears and lies.

I met you when the sun began to fade away
And the blue skies turned to a gloomy grey
I saw no light, no sunshine struck my skin
And with the darkness still, I tried to hold it in.

It was the worst of the worst and the days keep rolling
My heart's still broken, empty pieces keep falling
Eyes are still swollen from the tears that never stopped
Wounds are still open but no blood would come out.

I met you when I was a pure image of destruction
I met you when my life knew no life, nor direction
I met you when I was a mess and my life such a waste
I met you when I shut myself close, having no regrets.

Where do I go when the world seems a stranger?
Who do I call when my voice shakes like thunder?
What do I do with the remaining pieces of my heart?
How do I hold on when giving up is easier on my part?

But I met you and you tried to cure my broken heart
I met you and covered up my wounds without a doubt
You met me helpless and you showed me just how
Meeting someone can heal you, and still break you anyhow.

Don't just leave like all the rest, give me something to believe
Don't just walk away and go, don't leave me hanging still
Don't just turn your back, please, face me with the truth
If you have to, don't leave yet, until I've learned to unlove you.

Heal me with your words that lather
Untangle the strings I attached to your heart
Dun me until you see me no longer
Upon your feet, as I tear apart
But hear my words as they sound louder:



"                                                "



even from the start.

There was a time
when I thought that
to avoid you
would be
the cure.

Now, I long
to go back to
the time when I was
**** sick


at least,
I was alive.

As much as I want to rejoice
And savor that old feeling again
I’ve got no other choice
But to keep it all hidden.

No one shall know that for so long
I’ve patiently waited so much
And that kept me collected all along
But still, it never broke the latch.

It’s nothing that would bring me
Into the same wonderful memories
‘Cause now it seems a vanity
To ignore presented realities.

I liked the way it all happened
It’s as if it was the first time
But I shall soon be awakened
‘Cause somehow, it is a crime.

I cannot simply fix the messy crack
Things that have been deranged
‘Cause I cannot bring it all back
Indeed, I know things have changed.

Should I regret?

That I’m still in love with his verses
And all his invisible curses
Weaved into his words that burn
Full of life, made out of love
To find souls wide awake
In the deepest of the night.

I am in love with impossibilities.

I am in love with a soul long gone.

I tried to find [and fake] love

within this boundless earth we are all in,

but I am, no doubt, still in love with him.

We could all be caught up in our own insanity
And betray our hearts with our pasts
Even when the body does what it is expected to do
The mind tries to find a way to bypass.

He was once the person I almost badly wanted
He was once the person who made me spend my nights in tears,
He was once the person I’d love to walk the earth with
He was once the flower that bloomed in the middle of desert feels.

But who are we to foolishly demand from the vast Great Skies?
Who am I to heartlessly betray the present love that serves me right?
Who is he to ruin the trust of the man who would hold me tight?
Who are we to judge how things end up like funny tales we just write?

I am writing this poem not to defend my infidelity to make things seem right.

I am writing this poem, so I know when to say goodbye and just give in to what I can’t fight.

I am writing this poem not to express my [still] burning desire to be with my old flame.

I am writing this poem for the love that took care of me when I know I don’t really care.

I’ve seen her cry herself to sleep
A thousand times
‘Twas way too deep
Her swollen eyes revealed the pain
I guess she’ll never know
How long it will remain.

She never imagined a life like this
Nothing can ever make her feel fine
She knew it cannot just cease
Love was undefined
Time had done nothing
But play a painful rewind.

Pillows were wet, nothing to lie about
Her hair’s a big mess
She was really hurt, no doubt
Often than not, corners were warm
And there she sulks herself
With broken wings and faded charm.

She was crazy, but he was a fool!
Knowing that love ain’t a joke
Feelings are fragile; a girl’s not a tool
She missed him so bad
He was flirting around
Now she just has to be glad.

She can’t keep those gems from falling
It can’t help but touch the silk
Losing her mind, it’s all or nothing
But she knows things will get right
And the sun will shine again
Keeping things light; making days bright.

Far, indeed, far from reality
Realizations don’t seem to be true
It’s hard to accept all life’s virility
She just can’t believe now
She cannot fully trust
Though it comforts her somehow.

And yes, her weary eyes
Just tell it so
Never been dwelt in by any lies
It can’t bring the sunshine
The soonest time
And centuries before she’ll feel fine.

I don't want to go out and face the sunshine
when all that's reflected on my face and whole life
are the jagged wounds caused by last night's vicious rains,
the asperities of the storm that attacked my sunny days.

I just want to stay here forever (I dare ya'll)
amid great poets' lengthy chronicles and tell-all
inspired by life and love and hope and rebirth
the perpetuation of their luscious grudges beneath the earth.

As I crave for more chancy ideas to come out through words
I desire to ****** my people with a nasty yet vague curse
That whoever imperils me with anything but one shrewd call
In my deathly poetic verses, expect your worst and loudest brawl.

Darling, you will be alright.
When you think the clouds won't ever go away,
alone on the sand looking at the outer space,
watching the birds hum through the rainy day,
sleeping on a cold, lonely couch while you're far away,
listening to old songs you know you can never sing again,
still valuing mem'ries you know you'll never regain
trying to pick the cluttered pieces on the floor,
wishing as though you've never wished before,
not to hear the ravaging music in your head
and thinking you could just be plain dead,
expecting to see things so nice in your head,
but you're only seeing stained windows instead,
yet know that this life won't let you lose in the end
and there's still a better way for wounds to mend
for there's no other way to make you feel better
than to think that no one's broken forever.
Darling, you will be alright,
remember.

- M. C.

Sometimes
it is our own emotions
that drag us down
keep us from flying
tearin' us apart
leaving us
with a broken heart.

But sometimes
it is just our own minds
that release too much hate
love, trust and faith
tend to dissipate
all at once
without a single sign.

And sometimes,
it is our soul
that gives us the reasons
to rejoice much more
live a joyous life
like we're in His paradise
as one day, we'll all be.

But this time,
know that it's just you
who can only decide
make your dreams come true
never end the show
never let it go
it's when your 'bout to grow.

Man, you'll never get wrong
Though everything seems wrong
Just put on a content face
Be proud of your current phase
But dare to search afield
Despite the worsening feel
*Go catch your dream, bold soul!

I do poetry
not for the sake of creating confusions,
or miserable interjections, or an uphill struggle
to unravel such an ignominious mystery,
bound to recollect the scattered pieces of my soul
as it ends a series of endless wailing,
of countless days of badly breaking,
of numerous attempts to keep me from falling,
at the deepest fissures I am left with.
But, man,
Thank you.
I thank you all for that,
for as long as I have an ocean of emotions to feel,
for as long as this life gives me false guarantees,
as long as my heart continues to blindly receive,
as long as the universe gives us a reason to still dream,
as long as you have your eyes to read what I really feel,
I will not mark an end to my desire to fill
an empty surface, so as to truly reveal
that I may refuse to let the world in
but I know I can give it another try
in another time, when I get my old self back
and find her ready to feel again,
fresh and free from fancy frustrations.
Loud and sound, I will someday astound
the souls that tried to bring the worst out of me
and will divulge the best of me.
I'll say, at last, I am finally free,
and thanks for making me see
that even without you, I can always be.
Thanks for the memories.
Thanks for the tears.
Thanks for all.
It was truly a bliss
to let go of what it's not worth it.
Let's think it was worth it.
My crazy, little, once-upon-a-time-dream,
you saw how I ebbed out of my soul.
Now, you will be seeing
how I will flow back to the shore,
with a stronger heart and a bolder soul,
through this bland and lonely poem.

Hopeful daylight, dark as ebony
Contrite, I was, after all the tragedy,
Benign, scars are, when they forever bleed
Oh no, please don't, just let me believe.

Crushed, I've been, on that mirthful day
Scorched, frozen are my corrupted veins,
Cold, pained, and yet you seemed to care
Truth, ***** me with your exciting stare.

I lost my day, had found you there
You took me in, and played **** well,
Blind me, Death; let light prevail
Your truth, locked spell, uttered anyway.

Remove them pictures in your hand
Burn them mem'ries in your head,
Lit up the pile of hearts you've broken
Feed my delight, our awful cravin'.

Reminiscing, quietly, standing there
Against the wind, looking just fair,
Behold your nasty nonexistent affair
Catastrophic scene of a peaceful blare.

Think not, not ever, of her, forget
Instead, let dream, inhibit regret,
Back down, leave, regain no disgrace
Love her not, and suddenly, replace.

decisions
struggle
efforts
challenge
failure
battle
wounds
pain
s­cars
lessons
triumph
plateau
blank
ploy
guile
games
revelations
d­isappointments
oppression
corruption
injustice
outrage
tears
crie­s
depression
darkness
revenge
revenge
revenge
revenge
death
reven­ge


eternal.

I was never that girl.
Was I?

I know just right.

Take a deep breath.
Gladly turn your back.
Never drop a tear.
Just wish me luck.


I was never that girl.


We know just right.


"She's the one..."



End.

*Not I.

Hey, hear my heart
It’s beating loud
That crazy pound
Please hear it out.

Now, it’s all I have
It is all I am
Do you hear my cry?
Do I have to try hard?

I know there is something beyond
Looking at your eyes
I can feel it in your touch
And now I see the spark.

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Please don’t let me fall.

Hey, don’t try to hide
What’s on your side
It’s all I see
When you’re with me

Can you just be
What you’ve always been
‘Cause it burns my soul
And it freezes my skin

We know we’ll never have enough
If you’re not ever gonna stop
But if you’re madly insisting
Please do give me the real thing

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Please don’t let me fall.

If you never plan to catch me
Please just let me go
For when hearts are hurt so badly
They tend to curse a stupid show.

If you just don’t feel it
Please walk away
But if you badly miss me
Then I’ll have to stay.

I don’t wanna play your silly game
I don’t want to lose it all
I don’t wanna be the one to blame
When I make the final call

I don’t wanna ruin what we have
I just cannot take the pain
I don’t wanna play your silly game
Catch me, I’m about to fall.

I don't want to dance into the music before he grooves in harmony
I'm trying to keep my notes low before he realizes the perfect melody,
I try my hardest not to speak of rhymes before he makes up his poetry
I don't want to be the first to fall before he gives in to gravity.

I'm hiding the smiles he gave me, the sparks that fill my eyes
I'm keeping away the tingles, from your stares that totally entice,
I would not want to be the first to have my poor heart racing
I don't want to be the first to realize and slowly get the feeling.

I may have had a bad day, but you just turn it upside down
I may have frowned all day long, but you happen to be my clown
I may have hurt myself in the past, but you simply showed me how
To leave the painful mem'ries behind and finally cherish the 'now'.

For many times, I've been in scenes where the characters hurt me so
I have felt an endless rolling of tears from my eyes so long ago
And taking a chance and risking it again might sound a scary show
But though I don't want to be the first to fall, please don't let me go.

You helped me up, you brought life back, you kept me standing tall
Yes, I don't want to be the first to fall, but I'm not scared at all.

Play with words, but not with my feelings,
Forever, reach for your own sky
Find your glory until you touch the brink
But meddle not when I'm that high.

Your eyes may not simply discover why
Our hearts may not wander tonight
But let me show you my lovely guise
Away from stark heartaches and lies.

Hit one, strike a couple o' letters on the board
Let emotions flow until you can't seem to afford
Simply stream of consciousness working on us now
Then you'll have to put your heavy armors down.

See the beauty of your thoughts float by the bay
Together with your weary heart, let them go astray
Yours and mine, like blind ants, will surely find a way
A beautiful art, the poem in us, our love, I'll have to say.

The genius of a thousand words all combined
through a fateful unity, no true clarity
to touch a stoical soul.
I love it.

The genius of her truly timeless thoughts
like that of a willful dreamer
lived, lasted, now braver.
I found it.

The genius of a playful imagery
bound to reconsider
glee or tragedy.
It is it.

The genius of a hopeful recovery
from the grimmest sorcery
with pure beauty, oddity
For anyone's anatomy
finds a way to thee
Oh, powerful,
Real genius,
*Poetry!

Every good thing shall happen...

like Friday nights and party rush
surprise calls from a long-time crush
auburn leaves and a cup of tea
cozy couch and a good movie
a sweet embrace, granted wishes
locked up hands, friendly kisses
perfect music, fireworks galore
passionate poetry, books in store
skinny-dipping, pineapple juice
mountaineering, romantic cruise
stick-it notes and scented letters
white rose petals and silver glitters
dusty slip-on and faded pantaloons
sweetened berries and tasty prunes
smooth raps and slow rock hits
magnetic charm and awesome wits
11:11 verses and chicken bones
starry night skies, pebbles and stones
a perfect score, crispy pizza crust
locks and highlights, passionate lust
skirts and pumps, pictures of us
Halloween treats and wedding fuss
hot cappuccino, jam and jelly
first paycheck, winning the lottery
chocolate mousse, ice cold drinks
ocean waves, seductive winks
silk and laces, laughs after cries
cool car drifting and belly butterflies
left hand scribbles, messy hair buns
Oakley goggles and water guns
funny jokes, late night talks
rainy days, twilight walks
flickering lights, vintage cars
logs in swamps and monkey bars
a hopeful daybreak, latte aroma
fogged up glasses, squeaky veranda
carnation in bloom, warm summer breeze
slow love-making, trimmed cypress trees
naughty kiddie play, blindfolds and tricks
mistletoe and acorns, fresh and fancy kicks
baked salmons and grilled corn
ending fights and a newborn
free-verse poetry, an orchestral song
a stranger's smile, a dancing throng
finishing a novel, Luna's glow
binding friendships, December snow

but the best thing for me, I'd like you to know
is to tell you finally that I Love You So.

There is a right place for dreamers
To scatter a pinch of their silver dusts
Over their words of real intensity
Away from a way too cluttered universe
Of the ones who crave for glory.

This is the right sphere
To fight against our beguiling demons
And knock them out of our lives
And silently bawl when they hit us
Dodge the attack of a million knives.

This is the haven of the wildest cries
Of a thousand lies from cursed lips
Burning souls from awful twists
Winging life out of the least
Becalming rhymesters’ shaking fists.