I'm taking my life. to the pawnshop on a dusty summer-fall morning
     Because at this point I'm not sure what to use it for anymore
               And they'll give me cash for trash
   Like a mountain of crushed cans in exchange for a dream money can buy in a clear plastic baggie

I twist around the aches in my heart
Dodging and skipping past
The three little things that tear me apart
I feel guilty with every smile
And every time I laugh
My sides burn like I walked a mile
Not even in my own shoes
And I'm so tired,
But there's nothing more I can do
I've tried, so many times
Sometimes, I cry myself to sleep at night
Those faces flash through my mind
And I can't even tell
If it's a dream or a nightmare
Not even sure anymore
If they even want me there
Or if they even remember my face
But he keeps playing this game
Acting like I'm the one
All in a rage
Yet, he's the one turning them to pawns
And every morning
About the break of dawn
I wake up and for just one moment
I forget that they're not here
And then it finally hits me
With a steady flow of tears
Thinking back to all the years
They were constantly by my side
And now I just wanna hide
Bury myself inside my mind
Let my death by broken heart
Take its sweet, slow time

I love life too much
      To ever actually
                **** myself
Although, sometimes I wish
          I was dead
So, for now,
       I guess I'll just dream
   Seeing stars floating around
And softly put this pillow
            *To my head

Sometimes I sleep so **** long
    
  The fabric of my dreams rots around me*

                                             **And im left lying on a cold unforgiving slab of reality.

you are my light
but I am my darkness
and without my darkness, I wouldn't have been able to see you
you are important but so am I
we are equal, we are one

you were my whole ******* ocean
but you only loved me in waves

I've been looking for you all around

I can't find you in old photographs
And sometimes I can't reach you by phone
    But when I look in the mirror and see my smile

*I know I've found you

Hometown
  Heartbreak
    You wonder how much you can take
         Couldn't fathom what you do
     He left you to start anew
The dishes pile up
   Even though you haven't been hungry
You wait for the call
   To fly out and make money
LA for a week
You live day to day like the rest of us
I see past your concealer
You go back and its mixed love

There's a tenderness you've known
You know it best when its fading
You just wanna feel at home
But there's no escaping

     You've gotten used to the names and how mean they can be
    They take who you are in scenes too seriously
  But there's some things you can't help
You've loved and you've lost and protected yourself
       And through it all you've stayed who you began as
   And you still will if it doesn't pan out

       Looking for that one unbreakable connection
  You just want to feel true love
You still believe with every wrong step and misdirection
*Even pornstars fall in love