Don't mistake me for gentle, i'll hurt you if you hurt me
And the pain that I long ago buried will come back with such force and velocity, you will regret ever crossing me.

But don't think i'm heartless, I will caress you softly easing your worries, letting your burden become my responsibility if you allow that of me.

I am ying and yang, a balance between dark and light and will use both to my full capability.

Lover you asked me,
"How.... how much do you love me?"
Well, I would give every breath left in my body, just to make you happy
Self sacrifice
That's how much I love you

I woke up to hear the beautiful sound of you chopping an onion for dinner
Except it wasn't you, but fleeting memories my mind was scrambling to conjure
Cause you died too soon and the aching pain still seeps out of my body

To my dear poems,
Although you're close to me, I will no longer strive for perfection with you
For I believe the raw emotions and imperfections make you beautiful and I am too in love with your flaws
The scraps of paper with scribbled words
Coffee stained napkins where sudden inspiration hit
Temporary words on palms
And unlike mine, I love your scars
You let my heart speak without a filter and the more perfection I force upon you by replacing words and rewording my pain,
it becomes nothing more than a never ending game,
making me obsessed about your appearance, I end up with useless words that make not a difference.
So instead of giving you hours, I will give you each a piece of myself and I know it will remain safe with you.
From your imperfect writer

Your anger flares quick and biting,
Igniting a liquid hate, that races throughout your body
Absorbed instantly, it is poison turning simple love into ammunition
I am standing confused
Love is distant, your hands shake, voice booms, body vibrates
With heart pumping anger, you equip yourself with a sickening distaste of me,
I brace, hesitantly but expectantly,
You are ready for something I did not intend,
My tears make you bubble with malicious laughter,
This is quickly turning into an escalating disaster,
I am standing in front of a liability
You spit out a minefield of words, aimed to weaken and destroy me
I open upset lips to dish out my fury but nothing comes
Your anger parades around me, you're proud of your victory
I am empty in this fight, all I have is love

It could be too late now, to fix what's broken
Or to aid what once was true
We have fallen victim to time and distance
Still my dreams chase after you
With what ifs and wild fantasies
That sooth but also mock
We abandoned each other
And invested in others
Broken apart with tick and tock  

I still cry over what I wanted
That you could not provide
I'm sure you wish that things were different
But with the changing of the tide
We fell apart, not strong enough
Took the easy road; said goodbye
Now too far apart
You're saved in my heart
For I hope, another time

Could it be?
This frivolous game they indulged in,
Become nothing but a mere competition
With sickening intent,
Both striving for who could be more seperate
From the other
Two lovers, cast aside emotions
For a constant play
Of cat and mouse

Sickly sliding slimy claws around your heart
Your breath comes in desperate pants hot and fast
You hope this panic will end, but know you cannot last
For anxiety is desperate to become your soul companion

Take me to the place, where I can breathe again,
Where the pain will fade and the nightmares will end
Take me please, I can't bare anymore
Cause it hurts too much and my hearts too sore
For you were my life
But you're here no more

Hello stranger,
Let me introduce myself, I am the person who may be oceans away,
Or I could be closer than you think...
You deserve wonderful things, so here I am, sending love and light to you!
May your dreams be fulfilled, your smile shining and your day beautiful <3

Let me hold your heart within my hands
I crave every inch of ******, beating, scarred and wounded
I want this beautiful instrument of life, to sing it's sweet melancholy melody
To convey how cruel this life can be
I will absorb your painful memories, let you feel freedom which may taste bitter at first
So unload your hurt, I cannot take it from you
But promise to stand by your side, until you do

You hear his howl and shiver
The beast lingers in wait
And though you try to evade him
You'll fall for his bait

It is easy to say,
As you started slipping away from me, towards death
The world began looking far less beautiful
Maybe it was that your inner beauty made my world look artificially brilliant
But without your beautiful existence
My world is purely hopeless

Life laughs, "Oh little girl, were you not prepared for this, this war I will ****** upon you. By the time I am through, death will seem like a sweet and warm friend to run to".

"And how does that make you feel" she asks, pen poised over clipboard.
I want to scream at her, tell her that mere words could never hold the weight of what I feel
But instead I stare fiercely into her eyes and say...
"how does it make you feel, to know you can't save me?"

She falters
You stumble
She whispers
You rumble
Under covers they tumble
Attempting to repair love with false pretenses and broken promises

Cancer
You took my mother from me, you *****, I will never forgive you for that
But now you want my brother too... firstly *******, you self entitled malignancy
He does not... or will ever belong to you

You may have taken one person from me but its time to level this twisted game you take so much sadistic pleasure from
It is time to show you where you belong, far from my ******* family

He is drowing in liquor
Stumbling sick and bitter
Furious with feeling
He is leaking emotion
Trying to rescue his carelessness
He hurts and yearns
The bliss he had with solitude
Before love came along

you tried to stay lost,
but i tried to find you
you tried to run fast,
and i couldn't blame you.
you said its tiring,
when i continue to chase you,
why is my love useless
while yours is a 'virtue'.

You've got me thinking I must be dying
Because with you I see the light
And I am constantly tripping on euphoric delight
Every moment and kiss, has got me addicted to this….
Love we fell into, this wonderful bliss

I promise you sweetheart, my undying affection
Which has grown only stronger from our first interaction
That instant connection which was pure perfection
How I lived without you, is beyond my comprehension

Without you I was lost, but with you I am whole
And darling, I love you, with all my heart and my soul

You swore that I could trust you, but it wasn't something I could hold
Promising your presence, and yet I walked a lonely road
Offering pieces of the puzzle, that were never quite enough
With one foot out the door, you said don't ask me for too much

You became complacent, considered us a guarantee
A half full kind of love, you saw as my remedy
The hero in your story, knowing you could tame me when you tried
Expecting I was gracious, you held your head up high

Now with hindsight in your corner and nostalgia a friend
You claim you've learned your lesson, your old self you do transcend
Though you're seeking recognition and praise for all your change
I sense that inside lurking, is a monster barely caged

Rapid heart, beating fast, dips and dives within delight
Post you - sunshine rays, my days overflow with promise and pleasure
A cup half full? Was I a fool, to believe this life would limit what it grants me?
That life would cast me aside, once I find, I desire more?
Now with you, I clearly see, society's aim to tame, their need to divide this rising tide, to give us tunnel vision, to spread belief of this allowance, of only half a cup of happy
With you it's waterfalls of euphoria, society I reject your cup!
Instead I shall bathe within the depths of us and swim within this lagoon of love
To me, this could never be, just a cup half full

You looked at my cuts in disgust, thinking they show physical evidence of weakness
But don't you see, to me they are the beautiful evidence of how much I can destroy myself

'"Why girls who have close relationships with their father, make better wives"
"Why girls with 'daddy issues' are too complicated"
Enough I say, just because my father didn't decide to be in my life,        
Doesn't mean I am less of a person or would make a bad wife
My absent father does not affect the way I love
If anything it's taught me, to hold my head high and stand up

If you label me with 'daddy issues' I could only feel pride,
For every shattered disappointment I felt and for every tear I cried
For the days spent wishing and the night spent alone,
I realized I did not need a man, to build my backbone

Funny how absence can work in my favor
I am now stronger than ever, my own gleaming savior
So for boys who can't handle these women so strong
Stop trying to label us problematic and make us seem 'wrong'

Two strangers, now together, what once was nothing, now whispered into stardust
Two lovers kissing, with deep intention, wholehearted conviction of this lust
Hearts connected, souls inflicted, infected with love, they know they lost
All sense for self preservation
They dance with wolves now, despite the cost

You think I'm sweet, you think you're safe,
I am but a hurricane, ripping through each pore of your body, discovering things you wanted to keep locked away
I will push at your limits, until your resistance begins to fray and you are left a quivering mess of emotions
Your comfort zone will look like heaven, as each step you take into this darkness becomes as scary as your bedroom cupboard when you were a child
And now everytime someone asks you "are you okay?" the question will seem mild in comparison to my mental interrogations to find each point where an experience shaped you
Your happiness is great, but your crystal tears lure me and every miserable memory makes my heart beat in sympathy with your sobs
So I am not sweet and now you regret liking someone who is in love with poetry

Carnal craving, teeth bared, primal in this lovers dance, fueled by lust, we test our strength with limbs entangled, our body's ******
Shameless passion, untamed advances, towards this cliff edge we expertly unravel, this sin once dormant, how engulfing, we lend ourselves to this dark passion

I strayed into the darkness, because it whispered sweet promises to me
Footstep after footstep, I was enveloped by sticky black sludge
It seeped into my skin, making me content with my unhealthy companion

Then you came into my life, making the slimy darkness retreat
I smiled for what felt like the first time and I wondered why I strayed from the sunshine
Now you hold me with tenderness and I soak in the warmth you provide me with

You held a lantern to my heart and now each beat within my chest sings of gratitude
I am dazzled by you
And the love light you shine upon me

"Go see someone to deal with your problems" the doctor says
Oh, I didn't realize seeing someone could provide stitches to my wounds
That my bleeding heart will heal at the sound of their wisdom
That my inner demons will be reassured by thier pen to paper
Thank goodness all I have to do is wake up and 'deal with it'

Death,
is not distressingly beautiful
it is cruel and tiresome
there is no peace in the act of dying
there is only pained loved ones
who tire of wishing for your release

Subtle steps towards the depth,
The darkness lies in wait,
It lures you with shiny things,
And tortures you like bait

Your fears it will feed upon
It likes you sick and frail,
You wonder when you got so small
Your skin now stretched and pale

But daylight it shall come again
Just like the times before,
Hold tight onto catastrophe
And try to brave the war

They say,
"Oh but you seem happy... could you really have depression"?
I will not wear my depression on the outside, to comfort your disbelief
For it has already destroyed every cell of me internally, it is a happiness thief
Gribbed every inch of my personality and changed me into its idea of miserable beauty

A twisted beast that ricochets off fragile ribs
Tears through these organs, feasts on my energy in exchange for exhaustion
And yet comforts me "let's just stay in bed today, what could the world offer you that I can't provide right here"

They say,
"Oh but you seem happy... could you really have depression"?
Jeeze, my sincere apologies, I did not realize they made trenchcoats the shade of hopeless desperation
I should have shoes that count steps, to project my need to justify why I got out of bed

I must have forgotten to cover myself with war paint, to prove to outsiders my internal battle
But I will buy lots of velcro, so I can wear the words whispered and screamed by my depression late last night
Tell me, did you really believe I could show you by sight
The twisted demon that lives inside

I would give up my future, for one more minute with you

I would reach inside myself and tear my necrotic heart from its self pitying home,
I would throw the last fragments of my confidence into the breeze,
I would finally succumb to the darkness that whispers to me

Because I miss you so much, that the option of survival makes me sick

Gazing into your eyes, I feel addicted to these moments
Moments where petty time moves forward without our knowledge
Where words of devotion race through my mind
Words like: I will love you fiercely, use every atom and inch of me, to make sure you're happy

Moments of suspended reality, where the cold world heats up with golden light and I'm lost in your eyes and your skin against mine, makes my heart gain faith about the beauty of life

Where your tender words makes me realize that angels must exist, because how else could you be described?
Unfortunately time will once again make its presence known and I'm addicted to these moments, so please excuse me when I get worried because I want to be with you, not alone

I laid broken pieces of myself, in front of him,
Deciding to dance into the unknown, go out on a limb,
Expecting a scowl, or vile laughter,
I braced myself, for the foreboding disaster

Yet angelically he stood, with patience to share,
With my heart in his hands, he was truly aware,
Deciding to heal me, he reached for my soul,
Healing the pain, I had hidden from all

There is an ache, like an earthquake,
that crashes through my heart
My body shakes with the pain of love
Because we're ripped apart
I wish I could hold you, until this earthquakes ends
But I'm left here grieving you,
While you look down from heaven

Expectations can be vicious things
Casting a mirage, making things appear sugary sweet
Playing tricks on your mind and luring you in
You're envisioning your perfect fantasy
Taking that fateful step towards uncertainty
Head high and heart full of blissful unrealistic expectations
You find yourself stumbling in upon...

Nothing
But emptiness
And your shattered dreams

I stare at his mesmerizing eyes
"You aren't going to see anything" he tells me
Little does he know I am seeing all that I need to

When did the thought of death become more welcomed than the thought of life

With red eyes and a fading heart she begged the world to notice
With turned backs and ignorant minds they ignored her
So she chose death over existence
And the world fell to its knees

Sometimes when you look at me,
The love in your eyes makes me feel just short of good enough,
Like I cheated somehow
You appear as a miracle in front of me,
I feel like a child playing dress up,

You whisper sweetness into my body,
I am convinced you have confused me for someone else
I feel not worthy, like I hold a secret deep within me and one day my flaws will hit you like a wrecking ball
And in that moment of realization, you will see who I truly am…. and walk away

They said "life isn't what you're given, but what you create"
But they didn't consider what life takes away
A possession, a feeling, a memory, a loved one
Don't feel bad if you falter, creating is difficult at times, when suddenly your world is changed
And you are left to cope with the pieces of what once was whole

Looking into the mirror,
Staring deep into the stranger looking back at me,
I search for pieces of myself that were once familiar,
Try and remember a time where my reflection reassured my identity
But I'm falling short and the stranger staring back is scaring me
Am I also scaring it?

Your body feels like it is covered in butterflies,
Like every moment I touch it, could be fleeting
That you could disappear within seconds
Your presence feels misleading,

I am holding onto the clothesline of words,
You strung together, for me to hang my hopes on,
Wanting just to be strong, I smile
But who am I trying to convince...

We both know, I would be lost without my butterfly prince

Youve nailed that verbal foreplay,
Each I love you said with beautiful honestly leaves me with tingles
And you have my body shivering with the words, you are my everything

grief, like a thief in the night i am awakened by your presence
sweat, tingling my skin, i am left quivering within
the night air puncturing my lungs steals my breath in exchange for a sickening sense
the nightmares run on replay within my head
a gut wrenching reminder you are no longer here
then nausea seeps into my pores, beckoning me to fall apart,
grief grips my heart, finding me an interesting experiment
loss laughs in my ear, my feeble attempts at piecing myself together makes it laugh
HA, HA, HA
but i don't find it funny and i am so tired

When I was younger, dreams of you haunted me with sickening fire and brutality,
I would wake up with tear streaked cheeks just begging the air that you would visit me
When I grew older, the dreams lessened and a strong ache grew in my chest,
allowing me to breathe less and less until the point where I suffocated with longing for you
And now I am here and instead of a burning ache I get outbursts of fierce intensity, bringing me to the edge of my sanity leaving me weak and broken
So tell me, did it hurt you to be apart from me or was I the only one counting the days

With every swollen word of ****** promise
Whimpers escape my eager lips
My tongue craves our desperate kiss
My body tender with this
Our racing hearts with lust