snow. yuki. xue. nevicare.
i long for it.
days filled with ludiosis,
with my heart split.

gentle flakes on the window,
as i lie in innity.
warm side of the pillow,
and i'm just being lazy.

but that-
that's not reality.

a little bit messed up
a little bit exhausted
don't wanna be backup
don't want my vision distorted
by all these stupid emotions
been starting to act irrationally
anger acting up like explosions
laughter coming up ridiculously
wrong place, wrong time.
what the hell went wrong?
oh well.

a stone cold heart, in a midst of
confusion, terror, and silence.
and blood it can cough
yet it remains a sight of nonchalance
everything's unkempt and rough
out of order and balance
far away, a cry and a laugh
a battle of chaos at a glance
a hide that is tough
yet the insides tense
nobody can plough
through the violence
to save it.

oh my, a white flower.
pale as snow and oh so pure
that the devils cower
is it a cure?
distaste in my mouth
how can something be so innocent
when my whole life is going south
not a sliver of thing decent
I didn't flinch
as I crush the flower with my foot
maybe I'm a Grinch
pessimistic to the root
felt its petals grinding
turning into powder
consumed by a rage so blinding
that makes me wonder
what have I become
...?

his heart flourishing,
while hers' wilting.
his feelings were a lie,
yet hers was real to get core.
he couldn't care less,
couldn't love unless,
she stripped off her clothes;
offering her body,
for a terrible man like him.
she took it as a whim,
thought it was normal;
then he fell for another,
leaving her in the dust.
she thought it's a must,
that in order to love;
you need to give, and give,
until he's satisfied.
she was never justified,
and passed away,
with a broken heart.

i said, i'm a loner.
he replied with, so you're lonely.
he's somehow right.
but a little wrong.

maybe a longer is like the moon,
never being able to fit in with the stars.
but it's kinda lonely.
so we spin around the earth,
sometimes letting them see us
and sometimes hiding away.

when it's cloudy,
and you can't see the moon-
maybe we were having a bad day.
and staying out of sight
makes us feel better.
slightly, at least.

some people love the moon,
and those are the ones
we cherish, and hold close to
our hearts. ♡

crayons in hands
and stickers on face
with a cute headband
as i decorate my camera case

♡

i miss those days

♡

a pen in hand
and pimples on face
with a rubberband
as i speed up my pace
to finish studying

♡

that's me now