forget about me
but don't forget about me
because if you forget me
i'll die
i'm like tinkerbell
if you stop believing in me
i'll die
if you forget about me
i'll die
but i want you to forget about me
so i can have peace
and try to forget about you
you need to get out of my head
please
i can't evict you
i don't have that kind of strength
so i need you to remove yourself
i need you to metaphorically die
so i know you won't come back to life
like you've been doing
stay dead
stay away
stop making me fall apart
every time you say
                                                                ­     **hello

Stop laughing at me.
You think,
what a silly little girl,
what a silly little girl...
Will you still laugh,
when your me?
When your drowning alone,
on display for everyone to see?

I am still sitting at the side of the curb where you left me with your demons. I've been looking for a way out, an escape, but in all the wrong places.
I held hands with the devil and he took me to his bed where love turned to lust and my body was no longer a temple to worship. Now I shrink away from the slightest touch of anyone because I started to believe that they were all the devil in disguise, well aren't they dad?
I don't know why you came back and left as fast as you did, but it sure warned me about the people who made empty promises that echo off my walls at night.
The words I wanted to say to you that night still bounce off my lungs, some linger on my tongue, few make it to my lips.
I have to write about my strongest memory, so how could I forget the night you left?
I thought if I could be daddy's little girl the storm inside of me would settle and there would be peace, but you broke each one of my bones with your bare hands that night, leaving me in a pile of self rot on the curb, didn't dare to turn around to see your own blood destroyed and who was I to think that family was forever?
You told me I used you for your money, but all I ever used you for was love. I thought you were home but I never even lived there for two years before you packed my things, kicked me out, and slammed the door.
You got louder and I tried to cover my little brother's ears to protect him from the poison spewing from your mouth and I tried to cover his eyes so he wouldn't have to watch his sister be ripped to pieces by the man he looks up to.
After you left I walked into my house, the four oceans had been emptied and spilled from my eyes. I screamed about the hate I had for you and pounded my fists against the walls and my mom was scared and I saw the faith drain from her eyes when she realized what you had done.
Nothing is poetic or beautiful or okay about a father abandoning his daughter. So when I thought of my strongest memory, this one came to mind first and I hope you know that your daughter writes about the ways you destroyed her.

If you come back
I promise to be better
If you come back
I promise to be like her

Lets talk about how years evolve from days,
And when it comes to me, no one ever stays.

Stop humoring me
If you don't really care,
Because I'm wasting my time --
Wasting my life,
And I can't afford any more breaks.
Anymore breaks and I'll shatter,
Don't you understand that?
I'm just trying to find a clear image
In this distorted blur;
I want a clear reflection
In this dark pool.
So, take off your mask,
Because I'm tired --
Exhausted -- from all these masquerades.
I just want to dance barefoot in the sand...
Do you want to dance barefoot in the sand?

Do you know what today is?
     Today is the two year anniversary
          Of when I began to confide in you
               On a late night drive back from Barnes & Noble
                    You wanted to buy me dinner
                         So by the light of your dashboard
                              I was forced to explain --
                                   I chose to tell you --
                                        That I had a problem and couldn't eat
                                             And you told me that I'd be okay
                                                  Which I later was
                                                       Up until the day you cut me out

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me

don't you see that my heart is breaking
it's your fault i've been left this way

why do you continue to ignore me
my life is falling apart ever since you left
my life is falling apart and i've got nothing left

you packed up and walked away
no strings attached
nothing connecting us of course
because i tied all my strings into a bow
as pretty as her
as pretty as i wish i was
so sorry john green but i've no strings left to snap in me

why do you continue to ignore me
i've written song and song and poem about you
i was fine being nothing
until you made me something
i'd rather be no one and untouched
than someone left behind collecting dust

i was good enough for you until i wasn't
your brown eyes would look into mine
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me i was beautiful
and you told me
told me you'd never leave me

why do you continue to ignore me
why do you continue to ignore me
why did you walk away with all my strings
unraveling off of your back

I want it to switch,
I want to startle you awake
so that you are greeted
by an empty darkness.