Last night I had a dream that I saw you, standing amongst a crowd of people whom I could not identify. You were leaning against a wall like all those cool kids used to do in the movies and you were talking intensely with someone else, you didn’t notice me.
I walked right up to you and wrapped my frail arms around you in an embrace. I didn’t have to say anything, I just marched right up to you mid sentence and hugged you, burying my face into the scent of your old leather jacket. You wrapped your arms around me and the people around us disappeared and we just stood there, no words needed because all I needed was your warmth. The warmth I haven’t felt in months.
When we let go, I asked you if we could go down to the pond, sit in our old spot and make fun of the people passing by. But before you could respond I woke up.
They say that when you dream of someone they are either your biggest fear or your greatest desire. And I know it’s strange but I’m still trying to figure out which one you are. And as much as I miss you we were always meant to fall apart because I loved you more than I could ever love myself and if that’s not destruction I don’t know what is but at the same time you were my breath, my heartbeat and let me tell you you’re not really living when those get taken away. I don’t know when I’ll stop missing you. But I know it won’t be soon.

My thoughts eat at me like termites to a tree.
Tearing me apart from the inside out until I'm nothing but rotting dreams and scattered leaves.

If you burn our bridge, I will not waste the time or energy to build another. Goodbyes are forever.

The only reason the devil's still alive is because you keep protecting him.
He may have been an angel once but then he fell.
But not for you.

She was just a girl whose eyes were constantly filled with the darkness that ate holes in her soul.

She would glance up at the sterling lights in the sky surrounded by their black blanket of night, hoping to find the hidden secrets behind them. Secrets are always hidden by beautiful things...
She sighed softly and glanced down upon her feet that sway oh so slightly in the water below, she was alone.
She couldn't help but think to herself if there was someone out there that saw the world as she did, and if so, why do they hide like the secrets in the sky... the young girl brought her feet up out of the water and stood.
Why ponder on a thought of no existence, she said shutting the door to her house and her heart.

It’s 2:30am, I’m taking a bath, sinking into the water and I get a sudden wave of depression not even 5 minutes into it. I don’t fit, there are pieces of me sticking out, I can hardly bare to look at the everything that is me. 2:50am I decide to drain the tub and take a shower. I never like hot showers but I take one and yes it burns but I enjoy it. Because the physical pain is easier to cope with than the mental. I want it hot, so when I get out the mirrors will be so fogged over I can’t see myself. I want it hot, so I can focus of something else other than my self image. Tonight I share my thoughts because I am in a low and dark place. I’m sharing my thoughts because I know there is someone who understands, there has to be. I’m sharing my thoughts because I’m alone, when everybody said I never would be.