I want to be anything but me
Not always obviously
But often definitely
Specifically when that pesky negativity
Has a death grip on my personality
And brings out the ugly

©2024

My past haunts tirelessly
There's a lot of it at 40
Also less time for recovery
I wish it was "get some therapy"
Type of easy
I wish they'd stop blaming me

©2024

An abusive psyche
No might be
Cradle to the grave most likely
The lengthy reminder's set for nightly
However not by me
I have no say apparently

©2024

I don't dare to look in the driver's side mirror
Objective issues seen seem closer than they appear
The warnings always been there
In black print on the bottom from corner to corner
Trust me, I've spent most of my forever
Glued to the rearview mirror
I wouldn't say one over the other is safer
Both lead to the inability too steer
Leaving the inevitable outcome to each pretty clear

©2024

I don't feel at home
In my own skin
I run from ghosts
I do not believe in
To live and love
Has not been win win
I'll have to hang upside down
The next time you ask me to grin

©2024

One foot in front of the other
A played out endeavor
That has only ever
Led to the next far greater
Chapter on disaster
The fact of the matter
Is it's getting harder and harder
To change the visual status quo behavior
With eye glue on the rearview mirror
Then a thought takes over
One I've never had before
Maybe it'd be a little easier
As a simple passenger
How exactly? Well that I'm not sure

©2024

I took a quarter of a lifetime to create
Boundaries with an impenetrable gate
That I could fall back to at a later date
Who knew I wouldn't have to wait
Because as soon as I challenged fate
And tried to break this family trait
And shift from the pattern of self hate
To a more beneficial internal way to associate
I was lead to and left in this mental state
No trial, no debate
Forced with the threat of death to participate
And that safe place, it began to deteriorate
As the darkness started to manipulate
Causing my stronghold to mutate
At an astonishing rate
'Till now I just feel like an inmate

©2024