it hurts to live without you
with you I feel I am not myself
I cannot find happiness
with or without you

everyday is torture
my life is hell on earth
I scratch at my arms for release
all I see is scars

im not myself
it shouldn't be this way
**** society
and what is expected of me

I want to die happy
I want to live free

Change is good.
we  need to change.
we learn, we grow
and we change
for the better

I've changed
and boy,
have you changed.
And
We've changed
into people that
aren't compatible

I love you
so its time
to part and to
let each other
grow.

The things
That build you
Are the things
That will break you

all you
its always been about you
i lost myself along the way
im miserable and hurt
we both are
but i cant always think of fixing you
whos going to fix me?
i need to think of myself.
just this once
about me

The world spins slowly,
Yet we feel nothing.
A strange concept,
That we are in motion,
Yet motionless.  

A body, with nerves.
Feeling and thoughts.
Blood and a brain.
All these things I feel
As I feel nothing.

A rush of adrenaline,
and still I tempt my fate.
Tear at my skin to feel again,
but all it brings is tears.
To force myself to feel
is growing quite old.
3 years and I'm still lost.

My head spins.
I sit still.
A strange concept,
That I am in motion,
Yet motionless.

Left behind
I knew all along I wasn't enough
If still hurts
Seeing you happy without me
I thought I loved you
It may have just been friendship
I was confused
You were looking for something I'm not.
Loving a friend is a short distance
From romantic love
The lines blurred, so I stepped back.
You came out.
I knew you were, but I was in denial.

Asexuals are weird,
No primary ****** attraction.
That means I can't distinguish
Like from love.
Either way,
I love you.

Breathe.
I try, but the words are stuck in my throat.
I brush it off,
"Nothing, nothing."
Everything is trapped,
And inside I cry.
My escape is brief,
But it eases the pain.
I soar, happy.
Everything is a breeze,
I think it'll last this time...
But I crash yet again.
Coming down is harder.
I lose myself.
There's no point, I want out.
A vicious cycle of destruction:
Panic, pain, push through...
Breathe

I am full of you.
every action, every thought,
reminds me of you
youre all I want,
though you don't see.
I love that youre my best friend
but I want more

I don't know if what I'm feeling is right
Staying up late, thinking of what this is
What we are, and what we could become

I dream of you, dreaming of me.
Laying in the grass late at night,
Listening to music and pouring our hearts out.

These things I imagine, and will never see.
You let go before I was ready,
Idle, I sit waiting for your return.

Lost, like a balloon in the sky.
Free, but needing something
Anything to hold on to.

I've lost my way.

You talk to me,
Light, floating
And I can breathe

I crave your attention,
Needed your love.
Wanted your help.
I'm better.

But I wasn't enough
And I can't be.
I can't be there for you
If I'm not here for myself

I screamed that I was alone
You didn't hear my cry.
Replaced, I'm lost
No one to tell

I craved your attention,
Needed your love.
Wanted your help.
I'm getting bad again.

I never meant to fall in love with you,
I would take it back if I could.
What I would give to feel nothing,
When I look into your sweet brown eyes.
To stop my heart from speeding up
When you walk into the room
To keep myself from staring
As you sleep, so close to me

We're just friends, I know
But I want to be so much more
I wish I could be all you need
But I can't even figure out what you want.
You're one of my best friends, and I love you
I wouldn't dare ruin that with my feelings
But, after over a year, you deserve to know
I'm just afraid of what you might say

I'm floating,
flying high
to stay close to you
but I know I'll crash

temporary escape
preteNding I don't seE** us
growing apart
i'm losing you

i ask you not to drink
you ask mE not to smoke
if you knew why I do
maybe you'D stop asking

scarred from mY past
yOu were my escape
losing yoU means losing myself
i'm not ready yet

I love him even when he doesn't want me
when we don't talk for days
and act weird when we do
someday I may accept his apparent rejection
but for now I have to live like this
hurting because he doesn't want me
mad because I still want him
does he know I still care?
I push him away because I love him

I know its love because
when I'm high and
in a different mind
its still all about you