Xander King

May 2014

Colette

I let you hurt me (because I know you love me at the end of the day)

I will hold you,
I will follow you to the darkness.

Anything is fine,
as long I am there with you.

I will let you break me,
and let you explore my flaws.

It'll be okay,
because you fix the broken me.

I will let you use me,
for happiness or lust.

And that's okay,
because by the end of the day,
I see you smile.

I let you abuse me,
because I see the flame in you,
wanting to be extinguish.

And after,
when you're cool down,
I see galaxies in your infinite eyes.

I let you punch me,
give me bruises and blood spill everywhere.

That's alright.
Because after,
you'll tell me that you're sorry and you'll say you love me.

I let you do such painful actions on me,
because I know,
no matter how badly you treat me,
you care for me,
treat me properly,
tell me you love me,
let me explore your flaws.

got this ideas from making otp with internet bae.

#harm #broken #anger #pain #sadness #abuse #lust #happiness #flaws #darkness #you #me #us #infinity #passionate #galaxies

May 2014

Gracie

Addiction

Some say it's love
that when someone cares more
for another than themselves
it must be love.

I told myself I loved you.

I put myself in harms way for you
because your needs mattered most
What you wanted, I must give
What you desired, is my duty to fulfill

It wasn't until you asked me to leave
go away
simply disappear
that I knew it wasn't love.

I was never in love.
Love is a word reserved for the lucky, the few
never in love, but addicted

I craved your attention,
whatever glances you deemed me worthy
I ached for your touch,
your fingers pressed so roughly against my thighs
those lips.
well those lips were my own special line of ecstasy
they never failed to hit me hard and fast

my body went through all the typical signs of withdrawal
I trembled as our memories replayed in my mind
I laid restless because I still smelled you upon my sheets
my heart races, failing to catch up with yours,
failing to see that's its already lost

I know I'm addicted
yet I can't find it in me to care
they say I'm a user
abusing the substance
addicted to the pain
but how can I let it go
when it's the only source of feeling I have left.

I'm pathetically addicted
suffering of
you
us
to what could never be.

g.a

#love #sad #addiction #depression #lonely #pain #drugs #abuse #lost #**** #addicted #substance

Xander King May 2014

Once Again

Once again,
I wake in the morning
and before i even take my first breath
i text you,
you get mad if i'm late.
Once again,
I tell you what im gonna wear
so you can approve it
wouldnt want anyone hitting on me.
now would we?
Once again,
i head to school,
and i'm finally free
from the tyrant that controls me
Once again,
school ends
i go straight home
no friends allowed
they dont like you.
Once again,
I'm home late
accusations fly
Another boy
Another smoke
Another life
Once again,
i take it
accepting each blow
Knowing the fight isnt worth it
Once again,
You calm down
tell me you love me
you went to far
Once again,
I'll accept it
repeating the word love
though its meaning is twisted and faded
Once again,
you'll say you need me
and i'll refuse
And Once again,
youll threaten
saying if i dont please you
you'll find someone who will
and i'll refuse
But Once again,
You'll guilt trip me,
i need to make up for the fight
it was my fault
please babe i love you
Once again,
I'll sucumb
trading photos
for conveyd love.
and after all is said and done
Once again,
you'll change me
demanding i grow out my hair
lose a few pounds
and do my makeup
Once again,
i'll agree
obviously hurt
tears in my voice
Once again,
you'll leave for hours
watching a movie
though i heard her voice.
Once again i'll cry
knowing you dont care
and talk to someone who takes the time to listen
Once again,
i'm told to dump you
they say i've changed
you control me
i'm just your game.
Once again,
you read the messages
tell me i cant see them
yell at them
pretending to be me
Once again
we were up till midnight fighting
Once again,
you blamed me for everything.
Once again,
i'm still up because the stress of pleasing you is taking its toll
Once again,
i'm forced to meet your ridiculous standards
Once again,
you guilt tripped me into submission
Once again,
i'm doubting us
Once again,
i'm considering leaving
Once again,
i'll forgive you
Once again,
ill take you back
Once again,
youll fill my mind with hollow apologies
and broken promises.
Once again,
i'll fall into a dreamless sleep
Once again,
the routine will start over in the morning.

#love #broken #hate #confused #abuse #alone #cycle #once #again #controlling #repetative

Xander King May 2014

Hide

I'm feeling low
but that's not new
I've been like this for a while now
but i don't let anyone see
not even you.
the man who said i could tell anything to.
if only that were true,
When i come to you with tears in eyes
are you really there?
When im broken on the floor
do you really care?
No,
you dont
i know this because i've tried
opened up my soul to you
bared my wounds
exposing my heart.
i've come to you
hands shaking
eyes damp
heart breaking
and instead of holding me
keeping me safe
and helping me fight my demons
like you said you would
you push me away
as though depression is a plauge
like a simple hug
or kind word
could infect you
and you'd be brought down to my point
the point lower than the bottom of the ocean
so as the blue encircles my heart
and brims my eyes
and leaves a
pain worse than a bullet wound
i hide
trying to heal myself
without your help
it's nothing new
I mean
I did it before i met you

#love #depression #hide #sadness #alone #betrayal #abandonment

May 2014

princess

may 16 2014

it hit me without a warning, until i noticed this hole in my chest,
i realized quickly you gave me this
it used to be stitch shut,
but i now see all my insecurities, and all the things that
i'm ashamed of and every broken memory
that i kept hidden in the back of my closet,
this sorrow keeps wrapping up
like a noose around my neck, and
i am just waiting till you come along and
kick the stool away

— The End —