I never asked to be held,
But it never stopped
The lines of my shadow
From caressing your silhouette.

-K. Moran

I can hold it together sober,
But the alcohol brings out the best and the worst in me
The hopeless poet, the jealous *****,
The miserable, lost child.
****, the taste of red wine on my lips,
As they run down your body
and ****, the burn in my throat.
****, the way the mirror image shifts left to right.
Holding on to the wall with one arm
And holding up my life with all my might.
****, ***** and boys, liquor and love.
**** it all.

There is nothing I can compare to the wait.
The moment before flesh hits wall
And knuckles hard as stone bleed against brick. 
We see red through the tears
that run down the distorted lines of our faces,
cooling the burning skin of our cheeks,
And seasoning our lips with salty streams.

We hide our sadness behind our rage.
Our bruised hearts behind bandaged knuckles,
The way the air smells fresh with perfumed lies and a hint of apologies.
The smell that reminds me of the color red.

And we wait for that moment,
That the line becomes blurred.
We loose our sense somewhere between adrenaline and addiction
To the pain they cause and the pain we live for.
And we wait.

We wait for a sign, a cure, an apology, an explanation, a reason.
Nothing compares to the static silence,
No words to describe the reckless sadness,
I close my eyes and the wait looks red.

-K. Moran
@words.and.weapons

Tell me about your passion,
I want to see the fires ignite in your eyes,
As you get lost in your own words.
I want it to be me standing there looking into the eyes of a man in love.
Not with me, but with his life.

I wish I could know myself, the way you do...
Kiss my lips and listen to every story with wide eyed wonder.
I want to hold me close and watch my insecurities fade.
I want to know me, like you do...
So maybe, one day...
I can love myself too.

In his arms tonight,
The feelings are a smear of washed out watercolors,
Trickled along torn paper.
A beautiful mess.
I guess you could say-- our relationship is a lot like modern art,
Two people trying to find meaning where there is none.

It's funny, how just now I recognized myself in a poem someone else wrote. Like my words came pouring out of their pen and marked the paper-- just for me. Just so I can nod in agreement and for once in God-knows-how-long remember who I actually am.
It tears me up, everytime my eyes reread the same **** lines. Why does this stranger know me better than I know myself?

Sometimes I hate that I am married to the idea that love finds everyone...
Sometimes I am married to the hate that gives me those ideas.

Match my passion,
Love just as hard as I have loved,
Be my fire as I set my own heart ablaze.
I don't want love calm and steady like water,
The love that drowns and tames my flames.
I want uncontrolled chaos,
Love so hot that our hearts tint the world red,
I want a wild fire.

I look at the stars,
And I want to leave this place.
I want to see the sky,
For the first time,
Standing in someone else's shoes.

I have run out of passionate words to write,
The fire that once burned in my heart has been reduced to the damp bits of ash.
I don't care about the moon and stars,
And music doesn't seem the same.
I cringe at the beautiful,
And I can barely remember the person behind my name.

One day I'll let go,
But tonight my arms are only going to draw you in.

She'll tell you what it feels like,
As words drip out of her mouth.
And the tears drain from her eyes,
Like her insides are trying to come out.
And she'll beg you to listen,
but she'll never know why.
And she'll force her way in,
Like a torn in your side.

She'll want what she's missing,
Her pieces of life.
But she'll trim off the fat,
Like the blade of a knife.

She'll tell you she's happy.
And lie threw her teeth.
But a wave of pressure,
Will crush her beneath.

And she's clawing her way up,
from her problems within.
And she'll buy all her prays,
With the lists of her sins.

She living a life,
Possessed by a lie.
And tomorrow she'll smile,
but inside she'll cry.

And her demons will wake her,
At first mornings light.
But the soul inside her,
Won't give up the fight.

Cherry blossoms,
Against skin so fair,
Pink like blushing lovers cheeks,
But only half as rare.

The static ringing in my ears,
Reminding me that I wasn't torn apart,
Like an animal, I ravaged my own heart,
Torn it to bits like a lion with it's prey,
Divide up the remnants,
And cast them into the wind....
Hoping to feed the other hungry hearts like mine,
But the pieces were left to rot.

I want to be the air in your lungs,
Take me in,
Sheltered under your ribs,
Keep me as long as you need me,
Then let me go.

There's nothing more I want than flesh on these brittle bones,
Substance to fill these empty spaces.
Life to fill these barren rooms.
There's nothing more I want than the sleep of death,
To fill these empty tombs.

Drowning,
Is what it feels like.
The words we shout,
Heavy like concrete,
Tied around our ankles.
We'll hold each other,
As
      we
            sink.
Gasping out "I'm sorry",
With our last breath.

Just like the bright, blue ocean,
You are beauty then abyss.
Swallow me down like rip tides,
And drown me in each kiss

The normal path looks polished,
like fine marble and white wine.
It holds steady with stability,
and gives a heart a piece of mind.

The wild side, the rocky road,
The path untraveled by.
I'm addicted to possiblities,
Because the limit is the sky.

I bet you dream in color
and wake up in a black and white world.

Two halves, never whole,
Just patches on a wounded soul.
Mended with golden thread,
black spots conquer a heart of red.

Feel my words,
Let them soak into your skin.
Let ink fall like tear drops,
And drown this poem in soul.
Let it eat away your darkness,
And let you once again be whole.

Regret,
Lingers like the taste of an old cigarette.
Regret,
The one thing you'll never let yourself forget.

When I found you,
You were dancing with shadows,
An elegant tango with the demons inside.
Fluttering fire and sparking like embers,
Danger and beauty wrapped into one.
I tamed you, restrained you,
Let you gleam in the light.
But you weren't built for sunshine,
my creature of the night.
Love couldn't hold you, your heart mine no more.
So you could dance with your devil's behind closed doors.

I am your masterpiece,
I am what you made me; every stitch and every crease.
Like the finest tailor, you cut me open at the seams,
And sewed me back together as a quilt of your insecurities and dreams.
I was hand-stitched and handpicked to bare the weight of your pain.
And in my strength you found another string to pull time and time again.
Before I collapse and fall apart, you sew yourself into me,
So instead of all the holes and tears, it is only the beautiful patches that they see.
Your strength was drawn from my frayed and fragile heart,
I am your creation; I was built for you to use and tear apart.