Decoupled from my conscience of subjective discernment
The necessity for personal authority over impulse
Vs an instantly gratifying road to distraction
Journey of wilful blindness
Consequential destination deferred
But upon arrival lies the choices
To decouple, To adjourn
Or to confront the demons towards which my back I have turned
Self-romanticised truths to whom before I have spoken
Yet despite a colourful history our personal promises lay broken
Under the rug
Etched into the bottom of a bottle
A chasing of tails
Ignorance long forgotten
A cycle indeed
But of downward trajectory
Gratefully, the bottom of which yet to be met by me
But somehow graced by others
With stronger character than I
A slippery *****
An exponential decent
Over which I now maintain a watchful eye

An intrinsic insistence of negative choice
A high-jacker of will
An undeniable voice
A captivating spirit that justifies oneself
A sideline observation
Our resistance on the shelf
A resurgence of trauma
A manifestation of pain
An implicit reminder from within
A validation of weakness
An inference of youth
Our self inflicted sin

Days bolstered by comforts
The time ticks by
Covered by ceiling not sky
DENY DENY
Our ears are plugged
We deflect and justify
Unquestionable choices
“They don’t concern you, only I”
These islands of lives
But rainforests cause storms at sea
Loose lips sink ships, Freudian slips
“Your choices do concern me”
Though I am only human with inherent fallibility
I just want us, to be free.

The power of counsel  
One not to be abused
A beautiful agreement
Yet not to be confused
With a heartfelt connection
That vulnerable synergy
Helping you is my addiction
But in the end, whats left?
Just me.

My breath is my anchor
I return there for peace
Uninvited emotions
Yet together they meet
A chest wide disruption
An intensifying beat
Until a grateful exhale
Kicks them out on the street

The buildings are square
Lost is the taste
Profits are calling
Often built in haste
What an insult to the past
In this beautiful space
Opportunity to inspire
But more than likely a waste

It’s not my place
To dictate where this companionship goes,
It’s not my place
To cut short something before it even grows,
It’s not my place
To assume the thoughts that are inside of you,
It’s not my place
To assume the role of thinking for two.

We’ve resolved our relationship
Myself and I
We’ve hashed out our differences
We’ve reconciled our lies
Aligned our perceptions
Re-focussed our eyes
We’re a team now
Together
Sailing the calming waters inside
Destinations agreed
We dance upon the seas
Beneath star blanketed skies
Alone not lonely
A retreat, but homely
Free from the self directed slander of old.

A universal decision
A fate sent diversion
A glimpse into what could have been

A divine sent reminder
A life path divider
A disapprover of potentially seen

A ubiquity of hope
A slate wiped clean
A youthful disregard of time

It’s unfamiliar surroundings
It’s a tortuous climb
But the views from atop are divine

May your dreams exceed the limits of this earth
Your imagination free to roam the cosmos undeterred

May your soul remain un-stifled
Your contagious smile observed

May your character of strength inspire others not insult
Your conviction be your beauty
Your uniqueness understood

May your presence in this world ignite the fires in our hearts
Your individuality
You’ve been different since the start

May your previous existence carry forth your youthful wisdom
Your choices be your own
Not determined by the system

May your parents be awash with love reflected back from you
An unconditionality, deserved gratitude

Rua Brady, strut atop restrictions in your path
May your sunshine never set
May you always, resort, to a laugh

Gripped by our minds
The time ticks by
Attempting to find
The solace in Instantly gratifying means
The ends to which
Have long disappeared
Holes filling slower than the depths being dug
The fading light
The repetitive thud
Admiration derived
Not in awe
But in phones
Infiltrated eyes
Gaze capturing signs
Signalled are virtues
Interests conflicted
Capacity restricted
‘Willfully’ ignorant
The inner infant self soothes
Autonomy removed
The voice of discernment retreats into gloom
Value and meaning
Obscured, then consumed
Selected truths
No choice
Just seeming free will
No voice
Unless it lies within the narrative of choice
To speak
To be critiqued
Costly, free speech
The fighters retreat
Unconsciousness reigns supreme

Numbers don’t lie
Politicians do
Projections don’t ****
Suicides do

Breathing heavily with my head to the ground
Sharp inhales, almost gasps were the sounds

Bargaining with my strength for a moderation in pace
The cloud steps aside I welcome the sun to my face

For now it is time, my second wind has begun
A glimmer of hope, for it is only a run

I’ll write in the future

When I’m wise and I’ve aged

But what of this perspective?

With time it may change

Repeatedly feed that ego
Validate the growing beast
An insatiable ungrateful monster
Devours an ever growing feast
Confusing compliance with choice
Whilst a servant at his feet
These decisions aren’t your own
Your just a vessel for the beast
Indulging his demands
A blinkered victim of self-deceit

There's rules to perspectives
How they’re viewed through the mind
If its healing that you want
The only change will come with time

From the future it calls like an unmet lover
I feel it in my gut that we will be with one another
Anxiety prowls on a dimly lit path
Yet illuminating the truth like no other

With discovery comes learning
With learning comes understanding
With understanding comes depression
With depression comes darkness
With darkness comes light
With light comes hope
With hope comes confidence
With confidence comes discovery
An upward travel is the cycle of life
An ascending vortex to nirvana

I journey with the moon tonight,
As it tugs upon my heart
Leads a dance with the shore
As it laps upon coastlines
Now nothing but confines
Of nations so taught.
Thousands of unnecessary miniature civil wars
Wrong, left, right indefatigable fight

I journey with the moon tonight,
Resolving civil wars
Inner battles of deceit
Hard fought upon my shores
Confrontation reigns within
Just a reflection of without

I journey with the moon tonight,
To settle inner conflict
A recognition that it’s land beneath the ocean
Separation is illusion
A conspiracy of islands all connected by land
Upon which, my bare feet stand

I journey with the moon tonight,
As I sow my inner wounds
Treating sores of all relationships
Where in which I stand, confused
That includes the disenchanted child who hides within
Whom arms outstretched, I welcome in

We journey with the moon tonight.

Don’t hold
Your gaze
Too long
On me
It won’t
Take long
For others
To see
That occupying
The air
Between
You and me
Is a palpable
Undeniable
Compatibility

But if there is no apparent self, who is it that laughs at my distasteful jokes?

Oh could it be
She who’s in sight of me

Oh could it be
The one inside I see

Oh could it be
Your feeling something too

Oh could it be
All I’ve ever needed, is you

A theft from the core of the sense of ones self
A scramble to reclaim what was
A delivery of darkness without ones consent
A seemingly indefinite loss
A vacancy of comfort A replacement of pain
A fight for my heart from below
A feared exchange with looming self-distain
Will these authoritative thoughts ever slow?