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10.9k · May 2018
Missed?
Cuts on my wrists
hands curled into fists
will i even be missed

Writing a note
i wrote
i love you and it wasn't your fault

That's a lie
i want to die and
its partly your fault

I can't tell you that so i
Sit and i cry

Why do i
Live like this

Will i even be missed
I am not in a good place anymore
I don't want to be here!
541 · Apr 2018
I love you
I have been doing better lately
The man in the mirror doesn't hate me
it seems like my fate has changed or maybe its destiny
She brings a smile to my face
With such grace i laugh
i'm having a ball
I love you all
Its time to shove my depressive thoughts
Into a hall full of smiles

There was a while when i couldn't smile
My eyes were full of tears
But i hope you hear me when i say
I love you
Don't ever forget YOU are beautiful and I love you for who you are
503 · Jul 2018
DEAD
Walking into the room
My mind goes boom
There he lie
Dead
As I try
Not to cry
I realise he's
Dead
I'm calm
My mind feels no harm
am I sick in the head
my grandad lays
Dead
And I show no emotion
brewing inside me is a
Potion of feelings ready explode
it hits he again
oh **** he's
Dead
but instead of crying I
hold it in am
dying inside
my mind is on a rolercoaster ride
what do I do
should I hide from my
Dead
grandad instead of any upset
I feel glad he had
a great long life
but now he's
Dead
from this day on I will strive
to be alike my
Dead grandad
I'm not okay
I must stay strong
can't break
stay calm
460 · Jun 2018
Working on a title
{intro}
This is just how im feeling in the moment i'm sorry to all those i have hurt

{Verse 1}
Yeah girl i admit i used you
But ***** all you did was abuse me
And for that you will loose me
Its a shame you had trust for me
And all that lust for me

{Chorus}
Yeah momma i ain't the son you remember
uhh yeah dad i aint the son you wanted
Im sorry sister i ain't the brother you needed

{Verse 2}
I get so high i'm in the apollo
Just want a hollow point in my brain
Leave a stain on the wall behind
Deaths rain calling my name
Yeah PA!N is my name but yours and mine isnt the same


{Chorus}

Yeah momma i am not the son you remember
Im sorry dad i was never the son you wanted
and sister i'm sorry i wasn't the brother you needed
First song  i have ever wrote so criticism WELCOMED so please feel free to tell what what you did/didn't like
438 · Apr 2018
PA!N
I wish that i didn't have a heart love you

But i played a part in breaking you down
Gave you that permanent frown
Left you on a permanent down
Promised you a wedding gown

But i just left town
On my own i sit here
Thinking of you
Who i hurt ever so much
Clutching at what i have left

why are you still so kind
After all i left you behind
All i am good at is whining
And hiding in my mind

Crying in the dark
Listening to the nightlark
With you i feel a spark
As sure as dogs bark
She loves me

And i owe her
I need to show her
I care
So i sit here and stare
Into the darkness
Feeling heartless

Looking for inspiration
Devastation is all i feel
When i read my writings

fighting my depression
What is your impression of me
Me he who bleeds from his wrists
The Mascot of Pain
once again i ruined someones life but i am back to save you
I will be there hero you dont want but need
Without you i wouldn't even be writing this
365 · Feb 2018
the dream
The dream, starts with a stream which the moon shines her beams upon, along the river i walk, I talk with no one to listen, But there it is the rain in the distance gaining on me closer and closer, But i have persistence to find happiness And a resistance to that pain so i stand and i stare at the oncoming rain  of pain and i..  i fall to the ground and i cry and i try to get back up but the pain won't let me and when  i finally get back up, i lack the resistance to the pain, where is the gain in fighting, why am i trying, we are all dying why shouldn't i speed that process up, But this isn't fancy dress these rags im wearing are mine, Stop comparing me to the happy people stop declaring that i am lesser than you, who are you to tell me i aint ****. is it because i ain't fit  or because of my outfit or because i can't commit to being myself because i have to hide my pain from you and them no one needs to see the real me, this is my plee stop making me flee from the fight, i don't want to be in this darkness i am in i want to be light but its all gone where is my happiness
362 · Mar 2018
Never
Never thought i would cry over a girl
Never thought i should
Never thought i could
Never thought she would hurt me
Never thought she tear my heart out
Never thought i would take my blades back up to the bathroom
Never thought suicide would cross my mind again
Never thought that i was going to **** myself
Never thought i would be here again with my blades
Never thought i would cut again
Never thought i would overdose again
Its over
355 · Mar 2018
Smile
I smile to cover up what's really going on inside
I am hostile to keep you from getting close
I enclose myself in my room so you don't see me cry
I put this noose around my neck so i can die
I lie to hide the truth
I am teary eyed thinking about my past
I had so much fun Back then
But now all i have is this gun to my head
I have dealt with suicidal thoughts since the age of 12
353 · May 2018
Untitled
Trying to drown my explosive thoughts in liquor
338 · Jul 2018
Fake
A smile on my face
Fake
A real one i chase
True
My life is a race
from my problems i run
true
Im happy
fake
i am fake
327 · Mar 2018
Untitled
Obsessed with the thought of you
The one who hurt me so bad
But you have had your fun
You will no longer cause me pain
I have allot to regain
Its a shot in the dark but
I hope you never loved me
318 · Feb 2019
Rap V2
They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loosing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished
i haven't wrote in a while but life is getting tough again but this time im ready for it
318 · Feb 2019
Rap V2
They said rap didn't want me
My light skin and this bottle of gin
thats whats gon help me win
my life full its of sin  my kin are full of doubt
that aint gonna help me out
**** screaming and shouting
lyrics are what im about
expressing my feelings through words
depressing rhymes
those are my crimes
sentence me to death
let me get some **** off my chest
my dad we laid to rest
he was the ******* best

life it closes in exposing me for my sin
wishing i was thin
life hits you like a slug to the heart
the rap game im now apart
im not in this for fame
or the money
lets not be funny but
in my past i used to cut
i was stuck in a rut
i had one foot in hell
the other was in a cell

x in a coffin
there ain't nothing worse that loodsing an idol
soon ill be in a hearse
listen to my verse take it in
don't just throw me to the bin
thats it im finished
i haven't wrote in a while but life is getting tough again but this time im ready for it
312 · Sep 2018
?Question mark?
**** man why am I here
....
**** looks like we doin it
yeah ..
***** they ain't no writ out for me
but I owe you
yeah I know you got me out of that hole I was diggin
I got all the people I need around me so don't come Wiggin
grew up singing em that wigga got me thru hell
...
Hell marshals the one who got me here writing this ****
so sit the **** down and listen to this white kid rapping
man I done my fair share or crime
But I'll always find time to make another rhyme
...
Yeah I was kicked out at 16
left to fend for myself
I'm ******* young but my mind is numb
actin dumb Leaving all the snakes in my rear view
the people round me be new
but who the **** are you to say boo
if only you knew where I have been
and the **** I've seen
I wouldnt wish the **** I been through on no one
Where am I in life?
293 · Sep 2018
Untitled
Back to normality
I have suffered a casualty
What has happened to me
Me he who bleeds from his wrists

I am the mascot of my PA!N
But i am without gain
Ever day is the same

More pain
No gain

darkness and depression
Raining down on me
I started writing this the day my dad passed away, I haven’t been able to get into the right mind space to finish it
291 · Jul 2018
Unkown title
while my dad is not gettin better I'm trying to get my **** wetter

my father's headin for the coffin
Im tryna get my ****** **** in

I know I'm a ******
my past is set in stone
but my future is yet to be known

yeah I'm a rapper
I love to rhyme

but it's time to wash out the black not to back to that young D but to become a brand new me

it's been a few months since he who bleeds from his wrists cut
But somthings afoot it didn't take a team to help me
be clean i did this alone

you should have know I Could do it on my own

writing raps it's me and my phone
my inspiration ain't gone its just unknown

how didnt you know I rapped
I'm not a violent guy but you **** wit me you might just get stabbed

I'm not evil knevil **** the future let's get medieval you might just get hung drawn and quartered

nah man I don't take orders the only ones I will follow are the Lords ones
Trying to in a new direction
290 · Mar 2018
Here in my heart
Rope tied in a noose
Who's coming to save me
Pea she is the one here for me
Love her but not trying to give her the D
She dries my tears
The best eyes
I'm surprised she can't fly
She is my angel
I have been advised to take thing slow
So i'm a tortoise in a hare race
Looking in the mirror at my face
No need to chase a smile
Think of her and it comes so naturally
I follow the beat she drums
And here she comes running through my mind
So kind, always know i can find her here in my
HEART
That's just it
287 · Apr 2018
TIME
Watching time go by
All i want is to get high
That's a lie
All i want is to die
sitting here staring at the clock

Watching time go by
While i cry
I try to lie
I am happy

Watching the time go by
This might be my final

Goodbye
Im ****** up a the moment my mind is broken my spirit is gone
No one is here for me
I dont need ya'll anyway
286 · Mar 2018
MW-7
I'm feeling low at this moment
Kneeling in my room staring at the ceiling i can't find my bearings
Starting to sweat I close my eyes and  all i see is her silhouette
How could she forget about me
She was juliet to my romeo
I know i need to let it go
Let her go
But my love for her ever grows
Her love is like a crossbow bolt through the heart
I am falling apart without her
And there's no doubt that she is fine without me
I wish i could breakout of this depression
This borderline obsession
It feels like a big joke
But where's the
Punchline
I still love her
286 · Mar 2018
Her
Her
She brings the smile back to my face
It's not a race let's take this slow i don't wanna lose you
But she takes the blues from my life
She takes the knife from my hands
This is my final stand and i take it with her
When we are together all i see is a blur
And i will never tear our tether
Im feeling really happy today thanks for everyone's support on my "poetry" i haven't been writing for long and i find that it is a stress relief for me <3 you all
280 · Apr 2018
MJU
MJU
To move on i go back
My thoughts are wack
My mind is full of black

Being kind to the one i say love
she is a pure white dove
Making light of the darkness of my mind
Helping me to find myself

In her arms
rest the scars i put there
From when i said i didn't care
My words are never fair

Marielle hurting her is hell
Fell into her heart
Tore her apart
**** why did i do it?
277 · May 2018
Save me
Save me from the thoughts in my head
Save me before i'm dead
Save me before im filled with lead
Save me from my dread
Save me from the thoughts in my head
Im not sure about writing poetry anymore
260 · Jul 2018
I'm ...
I'm trying
I'm dying
I'm lying
I'm crying

I'm trying to fight my mind
I'm dying to let you know how I feel
I'm lying about being ok
I'm crying alone

I'm trying to help myself
I'm dying to save you
I'm lying I don't want to be here
I'm crying because I'm scared

I'm trying to fight back the tears
I'm dying with the thoughts
I'm lying I'm not trying
I'm crying out for help

I'm trying
I'm dying
I'm lying
I'm crying
I'm alone my grandfather died a few weeks ago my father has 24 hours to live.
259 · Mar 2018
MW-3
happiness is a word i no longer find the meaning for
i loved her but now i think of her as a *****
I DEMAND NO MORE
as i lay here on the floor
as my tears pour out
i have doubt
that i meant anything to her
was i just a chauffeur to her from A to B
did she love me
what did i mean to her
life is just a blur
it's like she was a curse
that briefe happiness before it all came crashing down
now all i wear is a frown
its like i'm in a wedding gown
but i'm not walking down that isle
i am being carried in a black box
while the few who are there
watch on and cry
i fly
I'm Not Sure If I Can Take This Anymore
259 · Apr 2018
Dead
Ripping my arms to shreds
thoughts of suicide in my head
i am filled with dread
no one listened to what i said
a pull of a trigger and i am
DEAD
Help me
257 · Mar 2018
MW-5
Why do i still love and miss you?
When did you realise its not me you want?
Who will you be without me?
What did i mean to you?
Where are you now?
How will i ever get over you?
Still not over her  i cant be she was, is my everything i don't mean **** to her
256 · Mar 2018
Cut's
Hmm one more small shallow cut won't hurt anyone
Done that felt good, But now the relief is gone, another one, But now i have begun i can't stop, the longer and deeper i get the better i feel, but just the same as the first cut the relief lasts a short span of time,
Another one and im fine
254 · Feb 2018
Morgan
Your love is like the purest dove, your hand fits mine like a glove, My falling for you was unplanned But it is ever evolving, you are the possessor of my heart, although this is the start I will never let you go, i will never throw you... are my one and only
Wrote this thinking of my girlfriend
238 · Feb 2018
Morgans poem
Flicking through the unforgettable pages of your life,
Choice of wording and choice of rhyme,
Besides the unknown meaning behind your eyes, you don’t know the numb feeling inside.

Numb, empty, emotionless expressions cast across your perplexing complexion,
Hid behind multiple scars traced by its redemption,
It stopped at the flash of a red light,
Pulling on the cords of its life. Tight.
237 · Mar 2018
Smiles
I am broken
But I still smile
I am still kind of heart
And yes i am smart
We may be apart
But i still look out for you
Don't come and **** my mood
And yeah im more than a little lewd
And i will always be belittled
But i could give a ****
I'm going to live life to the fullest
Grow old with a beautiful wife
And please know that you can't snow on my parade
At times i have strayed from the path
Of righteousness
And yeah i am a psychopath
And you don't want to feel my
WRATH
I hope this is a start of a path i am going down of creativeness
232 · Jul 2019
4:18 12/07/19
sat on my ones in the dark
earphones blastin some peep
i always was a sheep
its time to live by me
he who bleeds
thinking about all my life's misdeeds
anger pain happyness all speeds through my mind
i'm one of a kind
left everyone and everything behind
but this cloud above me is silver lined
this road i walk is unsigned
one direction to go
down cause
i aint gonna see the pearly white gates
at this rate im going straight to hell
or a cell cant you tell
im ****** up
231 · Mar 2018
ALone
Alone once again
Left to roam the expancess of sadness in my own mind
They think i am getting better but my sadness has only grown
if only they had known
Sat here upon my throne of thorns
Mourning my losses
I didn't get a warning that my life would be like this
My life should be good and full of smiles like theirs
I didn't volunteer for this pain
My anxiety is like a ball and chain
Helphelp me
I ******* broke down yesterday
And all i can think about is suicde
i just wanna slit my wrists and have this over with
229 · Sep 2018
Alone again
Sitting here wrists scarred
Legs cut, shut away
scared as the noose starts to fray
Who’s coming to help me
No one, I am left on the shelf
Alone, because my feelings are unknown, trying to keep myself to myself, smoking **** to make myself feel free, He is gone, the I **** I have done is wrong
It won’t be long until I return to my blades
I am struggling without my dad
221 · Mar 2018
Pea
Pea
Pea somehow she brings the light back into my eyes
I plea that she is the one i can wait for in the marquee
And now she has the key to me and my heart
The walls i built she tears down
She removes my frown And replaces it with a smile
Whenever i need her i can just dial her number
And she can't encumber me
She is the foundations to stop me crumbling into dust
I must love her right
It's a fright knowing i may lose her too
But i have her back through everything
The highs and the lows
She know i need her
And that i love her
You are always there for me when i need you
217 · Mar 2018
Hope
I use my writings to cope
But i am sliding down this ***** of
Depression
Getting worse
Thoughts of that rope
Tied in a noose
To bleed away my youth
And that's the truth

but when i need you the most
You are nothing but a ghost
If you are ever down i do
The utmost to be there for you

You the one who is never there
for me


I see the tree
i planned to tie that rope to
That rope tied in a noose

You made me feel so used and abused
You whose initials are signed on my skin
But i will not let you win
**** im so ******* up mentaly
215 · Feb 2018
Pretending
I don't want to have to pretend to be happy, I just feel so ******,All i am is a wannabe poet and you know it, my pain i try not to show it but it all comes out when i put pen to paper, i fight the pain i take a blade a slit my wrist Then i aim my fist at the wall Punching till my knuckles bleed, I have a lot of troubles in my life, But i they go away when i have that knife cutting into my skin, and i want to be thin so i starve myself and purge, all that is left is the urge to hurt myself Or to insert that blade into my flesh ripping myself to ribbons, and i know i won't be forgiven for my sins, there's so many things in my life that i could do without,and it looks like im out of luck, but i couldn't give a **** this pain i'm used to it, it's over for me
214 · Mar 2018
07:12 15/03/18
i'm Sat here contemplating existence
waiting for my family to rise from bed
my heart pUlsating
stIll hating those in power
always stating my beliefs
thoughts of suiCide rotating In my minD
concEntrating on my poetry
Look deep
212 · Apr 2018
Untitled
And now i am smiling
no more crying
but i am always lying
Thinking of dying
No longer trying to make it through
All the pain
210 · Mar 2018
Hide
I am so low in this moment, I need help
You read my poems, But don't know what i mean
I put up a screen, To keep you out
I'm in the ring with depression, I'm losing this bout
So i crank out another poem, Thinking of my mother
How she hates that im not like the rest, How i am myself
I WILL NO LONGER HIDE IN A BOX
pain is a thing of life
202 · Mar 2018
Words
All the knife in my hand know is carving those words into my arm
All my stomach knows is to be starved
All my arms know is scarring
A cry for help is a cry for help no matter how you cry
199 · Mar 2018
MW-1
Morgan wright
I didn't write this poem out of spite
I just thought she was my knight in shining armour
She was the daylight in dark night
Now i'm stuck in this everlasting twilight
Her love left me overnight
She left me at the speed of light
And now it's time for me exit stage right
Had a rough breakup but i have to get over her
197 · Jun 2018
She
She
We all have our fates
Put on my skates
On facebook asking for rates
Im with all my mates
But im the one she hates
196 · Apr 2018
Simple
A simple smile or a laugh
A simple cut or a scratch
To make me feel alive again
To relieve some of my pain
No more gain from
A simple smile or a laugh
I am struggling today
196 · Feb 2019
Untitled
Sitting alone wondering why
I am so down
Why do i wear this frown
Wondering why im on my own
But that is already known
From what i have shown
I like to be unkown
194 · Mar 2018
HELP
Laying in my bed
Praying for help

The voices in my head
Telling me to Die

Thoughts of suicide
Revolving rotating in my mind

Try my best to be kind to
everyone i meet

But i'm just some ofbeat
*******

Hit my walls with my fists
till i bleed

Blood dripping from my knuckles

I buckle under all this strain and pressure
Try to forget
But there's always a refresher
I treasure the few i have left
Suicide is preventable
There is never a need to harm yourself
Just remember i love you and there's always someone somewhere rooting for YOU
190 · Apr 2018
What have i done wrong
What have i done wrong
I must stay strong
It won't be too long

What have i done wrong
I don't want to prolong the time i have left
all along i blamed myself
When it was you causing me all this pain

What have I done wrong
185 · Aug 2018
Sick in the head
Smoking dope to feel a smile on my face
Living numb
I can't ******* smile
And that **** makes me feel dumb
Leaving him cheating
What else can I do wrong
My chest is heaving
Sat here tryna be weaving these words
To try and release some hurt

Release somthing I know oh to well
the way I'm going I'm heading for rehab or worse death
Numb in the head
drugs are my butter n bread
**** looks like I'm sick in the head
Cuting myself just to feel somthing
maybe I will end up ******
Dead
Well I'm living in a hostel now
got kicked out
locked inside my own head
183 · May 2018
SICK
I am sick

sick of her ****
she makes me want to take a razor and slit

i am sick

sick in the head
Maybe i should be dead

i am sick

sick of being left out
or forgotten about

i am sick

sick of her ****
Its not my fault my dad has cancer why is she so sure it is?
180 · Nov 2018
Family
Yeah you know me by PA!N
Three letters and a exclamation
That’s ***** on point
Been through some **** it my time
**** my time ain’t been to long barley seventeen years
But I’ve cried too many tears
Carrying my fears like burdens
I can’t loose my peers
Family is all I got left
i need the few family members i have
i gotta thank them for all that they have done for me
177 · Mar 2018
ONE MORE DAY
Dug my grave
Go to a rave
Have some fun
Find my gun
I am done
The end has begun
My mind is overrun
without my loved one
I no longer find fun
I ponder
if
Tomorrow will ever come
I will stride until tomorrow comes
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