If pain is beauty
I am gorgeous

I am angry
People shouting at me
why the **** are you doubting me
and outing me

And i don't want to eat my ******* meal
I no longer want to feel

THis **** got real
and its no big deal
That i don't appeal to you

I will not conceal
How i feel
and i know i am no big deal

no longer will i kneel to you
Get on your ******* knees and **** the cheese from my burmese
And i dont give a **** about your crews


And i will pleasure
Your ***** without measure
That **** for me is just leisure

This don't mean ****
I'm just having a seizure with a pen
Spazzing without you

I make do with what i have
i am no wordsmith
But i aint a ******* myth
Drink a fifth of *****

Tell my momma i love her
Before i throw her off a balcony

Yeah you know me by PA!N
Three letters and a exclamation
That’s ***** on point
Been through some **** it my time
**** my time ain’t been to long barley seventeen years
But I’ve cried too many tears
Carrying my fears like burdens
I can’t loose my peers
Family is all I got left

Yeah I’m the kid that you used to bully at school for acting like a fool

Who knew that you would be looking up to me now

But ima leave you laying on the ground blood pumping out your crown

***** you are the clown at the circus we all laughing at you now

Raise your brow at me
Questioning what happened
She happened life is a *****
Brings you up just to let you fall back down

You got me trusting no one
So I gotta keep my hands curled into fists

Its me the one who bleeds
From his wrists
Sweet bliss


Don't try to diss me
Your rhymes are ****
done some crimes
and i paid my time

when i wanna die
I turn to rhymes
And i will climb up
up To the top

No matter how many times i drop
I will just pop another pill

Don't try me
I will **** you
spill your guts
With zero *****
You can try to duck
but my left hook
Will ******* up

I will never grow up
Wont blow up
time to throw up My last meal
yeah that's the ******* deal
It's just how i feel

Dug my grave
Go to a rave
Have some fun
Find my gun
I am done
The end has begun
My mind is overrun
without my loved one
I no longer find fun
I ponder
if
Tomorrow will ever come

All i am is a **** up
Don't look up you might see me falling from that building rope around my neck hanging publicly

Laughing in the night
Fight the days away
Gaze at my life
Take a knife
Make a incision
Look to religion
Turn to god

Pray on my knees
Freeze look up to the sky
And i get no
Reply

I cry
I try to dry my eyes
But the tears keep falling
I am calling out for help
but no one sees my struggle
Its like im inside a bubble
Set aside to rot alone
No one in my phone
And my pain is not known

Think about you everyday
Can you even remember my name
Yeah you were my dame
Now you with someone else
Left me on the shelf
****** up my health
Wanting to **** myself
Fronting to everyone
Smile on My face

I was a moth to your flame
Losing my game
Wishing

Courtney you and i have been friends forever , And i will never sever our tether, although at time you are my aggressor the love i have for you has no measure, I will lock you in my cellar during the cold weather, together we are best friends

Suicide crosses my mind
If you ******* with me you are in for a ride
My Happiness is like the tide coming and going
Feeling like I’m in a canoe rowing up ***** creek
Yeah I know I’m a freak
I can’t go a week without takin a blade to my skin
Man I’m sat here wishing I was thin
Soon I will be rushing to hang
Take a gun and bang filled my head with lead
Let them shed fake tears for me

Nothing would be better than laying in my own coffin

My legs are dangling off the edge
Of this ledge
But i made a pledge to her
That i will no longer take this razors edge to my wrist
It's hard, but i insist i will not upset her
I am in her debt
I look at my arms and i can not forget
Made a promise i will not let her down
Will no longer wear a frown
No more feeling down
I have been around And i have been knocked down
And no you don't know what it's like
You haven't walked 10,000 miles in my shoes

you were my rock
You were like the stocks I invested in you
We were the ultimate two
You were the father I never had
But always wanted
But now your gone
I feel like I'm done
But your light still shines upon me
We still stride together
You are in my heart
Forever

My blood will flow
what do i have to show for my life
The scars that i left upon my skin with that knife
I never asked for the pain in my life
Am i just a stain you are trying to remove
I'm trying my best to improve
I just want to **** myself
I tried to save myself
But im falling into this hole
My heart is no longer whole
People looking at me and seeing me through a keyhole
Like an animal at the zoo
Who am i do you know
No you don't and you won't
Because your all at my throat
You can't buy my love and respect with a banknote
I wish i was perfect but that won't take affect
I'm no architect but i will build myself up from the ground
But i tear myself down with these wounds i inflict upon myself

Thoughts of suicide keep crossing my mind
i just keep getting lied to
who am i to try to survive
i am deprived of happiness
all i know is loneliness

Why do i cry
Tears falling from my eye
When they clear
I must smile

I don't know what the **** happened
but the night ended with me being blown my eeyore,
***** on my bone tomorrow i go home
got something going for me made the ***** moan with my fingers,


raise my hand just to spank that ***
She put on a show to make my **** grow
whoa ******* didn't think i wrote this ****
we both know you love my flow


******* taking off their clothes
who knows how many girls my **** blasted in
make a ***** *** faster than fast
****** you but i didn't make love

MW on my arm yes it is self harm
Yet that does not alarm you
Who hurt me so bad
You who caused the cuts on forearm
Why do you have such charm
You still have me
but you don't want me

Time flies when you are having fun
Time goes so slowly for me

My dad he’s dead
A couple week later I was taken in by the fed
And now Im without money to buy bread
Man ***** been going through my head
Making me wanna fill it with lead
Laying on my bed
Wrists running red
Won’t be too long until I am dead

A simple cut to clear the pain
A miss of a meal to keep you clean

Im
brOKen

I'm sorry for what i'm going to do i can't be here anymore this pain isn't something i want to live with i just want to end it just know i love you all

Here i am crying again
Trying to rhyme again
Diving deeper into this
Trying to be a poet
And you know that my poetry is terrible
Its all unbearable
And im unrepairable
But my rhymes are
Uncompairable