Am I confused, or am I just going insane?

Everytime I remember,
I always hesitate to forget.

You'll find the answer to my feelings in what I speak of, and I've never been good with words.

You mugged my heart in the worst way,
You hurt me more than I ever could myself.

You stabbed me with words,
Leaving me silenced.

You made me beg on my knees,
Humiliating me all over again.

But I still forgive you,
By coming back.

I got played by your lies,
Pursuing me with your intentions.

Tracking down my weakest spot,
Taking advantage of my brand new emotion.

You make me mad for your touch.
But most of all, you make me want to die.

I’ve now stopped caring,
Just like the way you never cared.

You keep coming back with you excuses,
But this time you won’t leave with my heart again.

I slammed the door to my heart shut,
I locked it by carrying on.

The past I’ll never forget,
And the future I’ll never let you ruin.

I still can’t forget the scars you’ve given me,
So I’m regretting never hurting you.

You left me alone all the time,
And now I’m never staying.

I'm out here getting drunk on
memories,
While you're out there being sober on reality.

My mouth's at loss
Longing after your blood.

Your toxic smoke,
burning in my lungs.

One breath is all it takes to
change my identity.

One step is enough for
My uncontrollable mind.

An imperceptible hand is
Leading me through their amusing creation.

Eyes once closed,  nevermore opens.
Hollow thoughts,  escaping my lips.

They mislead me,
Into the the confinement of my own emotions.

They enjoy messing with my mentality.
They relish getting under my skin; deep in.


They secured a place for me,  the spotlight.
Making me entertain every personality.

They compelled me to anger them,
Making their voices get louder.

Their intention to sever my consciousness.
They earn for my downfall.



They accomplished their goal,  a destructive doll.
A humanoid, a cold being.

They exhibits me,
Carries me through the center of myself.

Their amusement is crazily addicting.
It won’t be long before the invasion comes.

The aggression of my lunatic identities.
They're keeping my world in a hypnosis.


They're enemies inside of me.
They're making me the attraction of their psychotic parade.

You're so far away.
If you were within reach, I would hug you forever.
I'm sorry I couldn't keep the promise.
I'm sorry I ignored it.
I wish I could hold your hand once more.
It's my fault that you left.
I know apologies isn't enough.
You said you trusted the wrong person.

You're constantly on my mind.
I keep remembering your smile that turned into tears.
You're gone, and I'm left alone.
I broke you in pieces.
Pieces small enough for the wind to blow away.
An awful memory left behind, within an awful feeling in my heart.
I know It should’ve been me instead.
You gave me your hand so I could save you. I gave you my love before you pulled me with you down.

It's getting darker every minute.
I'm scared.
The light is disappearing.
The silence is surrounding me.
Not even my shadow is here.
Every second my mind gets filled with fear.
I'm shaking, it's so cold.
I'm dying.

It's a delusion.
My mind is playing tricks on me.
I'm lost.
There's nothing I can do.
I can't escape my own imagination.
I wish I just could fall asleep.
But if I do, I might not wake up again.

I need to hide.
I need to get away.
I can't wait for so long.
The light is deceiving me.
It's not the first time this happened.
The memories from last time is gone.
But everything seems so familiar.
The dark.
The moon.
And myself in this state.

*Am I going crazy again?