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Her
When I met her
I was in a dark place
She made me feel better
alone with her I felt safe

When I met her
I fell in love easily
Me and her alone
protecting me in isolation furiously

Her's was the fear
but I knew why I had to be scared
the danger was clear
I wasn't meant to be shared

But hidden in front of everyone's eyes
better still behind closed doors
safe and sound and internally screaming
my lively body lying dead on barren floors

When I met her
to love her felt so right
easier yet but to walk amongst strangers
simpler yet to swallow all forsaken pride

Since I realized that I loved her wrong
that I only grew fond of her protection
I started taking her out on walks
I've written her a heartfelt song

"I love you dear,
you are my fearful guardian
and I thank you for reminding me
to keep an open eye, to always look for the hidden scorpion
Let me find comfort in you
when I know being terrified
makes less a fool out of me
but only a soul less traveled, barely petrified.

In my way of loving,
let me find my kind of freedom
I don't need you solving

Anxiety. "
Totally freestyled this. Might change it later. Let me know what you think.
And he will think of me,
actually
maybe he won't

I want him to
eventually
possibly
I don't

I really shouldn't
probably
needless to say

Get out of my mind
I want you to stay
fearlessly

I'm so tired
terribly
uselessly

I should get some rest
finally
really

Tomorrow will hold more
hopefully
surely
Constantly trying can be very tiring sometimes. I hope you all have a good night. Tomorrow is going to be easier. Probably.
In all honesty
I'm honestly
A little lost
Probably very
lonely and thinking

What does it matter?
What is the matter
with me?
Because you see
I see you hurting
It's not working
and it all fell
it feels like falling
all over
again, I'm trembling
Breaking and mending

A terrible way
for a marriageable idea
to come through
only to hurt you
my gentle heart
now we might part

But healing
is on it's way
I'll never lose this feeling
til the day of decay
To keep losing people that have been close to you is probably supposed to happen a lot in your life but it doesn't mean that it's not painful as hell. But I know it will be okay again one day. And you'll be okay too. Hold on to what you want to believe in.
Make sense of me
Unwind me

       Define me
       Don't decline me

                         See through
                         Make due

          Find me
          Don't bind me

                               Shake me
                               Don't fake for me

               Feel me
               Don't kneel for me

                                   Make sure
                                   Take me pure

         Don't hesitate
         I won't separate

                        

        
         I've come to evolve
                                                                                

                                                                             Don't let me dissolve
We come from broken families,
you and I
hating ourselves for years.
People did terrible things,
to us
at times willingly, most of the times..
not.

Where their lives end,
the places they ruined,
we try to rebuild,
find shelter in broken shells
in each others bruised and battered
hands

And I know it's hard,
it takes a thousand broken things,
to get to a part,
of life,
that gives you strength
again.

You know the good place,
you can see it,
it exists
We have been there
many times
it's not just one place
there are countless
and one is
somewhere between our two bodies
and minds
waiting for us to mend

I wish to be whole,
even with all these fragments missing,
I want to be whole with you
but healthy, simply, easy,
careful
to not be one
who is just as broken
and terrified
and lonely
as the people we once
knew.

What does it take
I ask us
It takes
a softness
found
between
sheets
of
naked
truths
and a toughness
only found
between two
that have endured.
 Aug 2018 Brandon Conway
Yitkbel
Covered by a blanket of stars
Soothed by a soup of the cosmic ocean
I see silver, I see blue
Precipitation of every color and every hue
The scenery in front of me washed anew
And I saw a world formed by words false and real
I saw the sun kissing the moon
I saw sleep embracing the night
I saw time in a waltz with space
I saw promises holding itself true
I thought I'd see you holding me so
But I only beheld a shadow in my view
Is this the future of you, a love too new
Or is this just a ghost of you
A dream I never got to know
Feel like I went
somewhere wrong
People look but
they don't hold on
And I so crave
for interaction
For a poetic
intersection
I can't
stop writing
It's reverse writer's block
that I'm fighting
When all I can do
is oversharing
the pressure in my head
is overbearing

I know we are all
most interested in ourselves
Standing tall
in front of our virtual bookshelves
Not much wrong with it
It's only human nature
we wait for our creations to be a hit
so we feel a little bit more mature

Our intentions must be
somewhat the same
Am I wrong in thinking that we all
want a little bit of fame
Maybe the word falls short to describe
I mean we all want to be seen
Make a small impact, "please subscribe"
Everyone wants to be part of the scene

Oh but "I don't care what I am",
that's not what I do
Ah but unfortunately
that's not even half true
I didn't care much when
I started out
Simply because
I wasn't so proud
Of being able to write
my most inner thoughts down
and still call them
my own
And I still don't feel
proud in comparison
All these beautiful souls on here
This lyrical ship has quite a strong garrison

But it makes me sad and I wonder
about some of you
and that's why I started to ponder
cause I have no clue
What does "a follow for a follow" mean
If that's all we do
what does it matter, why so keen

Do you think it's only fair
I follow you, you follow me
But I want you to really care
To click because you want to see
Silly little adventures that I share
and who I want to be

I still strive to feel connected
I read of you
til I'm feeling like everything's collected
Is it too much to ask to wish you'd too
Ideas so vivid
of skin that's not timid
Be intimate
Just integrate
Your poetry
into me
and make me see
make me see
All the colors
that I yearn to be
you and me and ecstasy
til it all falls away from me
I sense a feeling of being free
free from empty words
keeping it though it hurts
in a puddle deep inside
where all my silly wishes hide
come to me
come for me
I'll let us be
poetry
Throughout our lives
We all weave
Intricate patterns
Into our tapestries

The colors that
We choose to use
Fit into
Or current mood

With woven thread
Thick and thin
Pulled in and out
Of tender skin

We make a loop
Tie it slow
Then begin
Another row

With a vision
In our minds
How it should look
Over time

Throughout our lives
As we weave
Intricate patterns
In our tapestries
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