I've been choking on the fumes of violets
Intoxicating voices, soft and sweet
I feel every ounce of it inviting
It won't be long before its everything

I don't want to be the one to bring me down
But I'm forgetting how to breath

I don't know if you're even here
But, can you hear me...

I'm walking on the gentle roses
Blinded by my own second sight
Questioning if any body knows it
Each footstep leaving not a sound

I don't want to see you cry
But I've been suffocating

And I don't know if you still hear
But if you hear me...

This was a misstep of my mind
Please, give me something real
Instead of the flowers I've tried to find
If you hear me

I know I've said too much ****
And yes, I must seem sure
But I think its come time to admit
I need something more

Can you hear me

I can hardly get my head straight, and between every single
Tone, I readjust the cases, straitening the lace
Binding up the loose ends, mending every one and
Creating strait spaces, borderline alone

Indulgence over emotion, I don't have my own

Add a fifth, and once again to make six
The circle begins closing in, closer and then too close
How many sides there are, to a pint of gin
Are there more mixers in a little bit of sin?

Its my disparity

Something I choose; suffering disuse
And a lack of caring
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I'm just a branch on another tree
Losing the last of my leaves
I feel the wind running through my hair
I swear, it's blowing just for me
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I've seen the face of god staring out the ******* monitor
I've seen the wrath of many more, more, **** it
I'm done
I still speak profanely but only on occasion
When I stop to rest, from the rest like I've been vacant
And the break is all I have, before I fade away in chambers

The scent of lavender light permeating my eyes
Draining through the veins and inflaming the day dream spattered
Doesn't matter

The days where hate is the mode of operation
Now, yes. Now, no
Blown out of proportion, maybe so, but I've been alive a while
And I'm still only a couple old
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I've been overlooking so many things
In single words, I frame identity
The wind is blowing through my bones
In simple thoughts, and tragedy
--------------------------------------------
And he told me, take a second for yourself now and then
Pen and paper permit magic beyond a mere existential crisis
Might be something to find amid strands of loose light
Find a new light, bright enough to conquer demons, but
Success is still your metric in the meantime

Fine, enough
But, I can fabricate well enough to get
Everything I need from something not enough
****
I even lose myself sometimes

But that's the point I guess
Another time gone by
another moment well defined

I use the same words, same works, same letters
I take the same lessons from the ones bound and fettered
To the cause, of making minds
Fun enough to pass the time
Long enough, oh *******
Its almost...
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If you follow my silver spool
I think I left too soon, if memory serves me
Too true for my own good
And the wind blows through my gilded skin
And I watch the moon rising

Rather go crazy than listen
Pandering by admission but
Self aware snares set for corrupted youths
Fool hearty young adults with full color led's
Its enough to make an end of me
Plans still foolproof
A poem to read aloud
Bad enough to tap out and let the pain bleed
I need some new meds

******* wooden in delivery
Half a mac truck stuck in traffic
Social laxatives and blocks of backwoods taxing
Masked attackers wielding flak cannons
Better off landing face down
Don't bother looking around, its all ghastly

A sight to behold as the intestinal tract
Gets pretty much pretty as I get
Gussied up
And roped into gore like we busted
A collective gut

Dogs chewing
But its hard to tell until
One of them spits up a curly tail

Forming a gang of mindless drones around an idea
Still going strong and letting go of mindless chatter
Still feels weird with every meter metric laughter
Conversion is hard, so skipping the math
I'm busy laughing, I never bothered with math class

Algebraic as an insult makes most
Laymen giddy
Do what you will with me, society

Never wanted much, in the way of a cure
Never wanted more, but
There's still so much more

Never wanted a change in the way
I think
But all I say is

Same

Fine things lining pockets
And flawed gems from a faucet
It took a month to mar the clauses
long forgotten fiends and flowing
Nature lost scenery

It might be menial, but if I don't like the imagery
I'd use a run on and run on, running on
Fumes like carbon clouds, bowing at the center
Of the hopelessness I've found

Of moths and flame, danger and wanting
Nature and harboring diseases and watching
Crystalline precipices overblown from cold
Rain, eroding stone long since lain

Homes blown through in half a day
Another half century laid waste
Forage a new course for the streams
The selfish, like me only disagree

Despite the discontent
Restless nights and fires burning low
Into the biting air, a show of flair
Its not right, or fair to vent

Hollow, it would seem
Still stable, the ecosystem of
Constant change
Trying to be heard over a flood of filth

Tidal waves painting fields
Recessing long since venerated guest
Retaking ocean lost to sandy beaches
And kids with half a dream left in them
I spent my last penny on a whim

I can't get so bogged down
Like i do now
So often its
Boring to be found and
Lost at the same time
Finding time to lie in
My bed, or a coffin
Whatever works
For better or worse

Plans I don't make
Can't really change
Or fall through at all
Funny enough
My whole things been
Mauled and I'm standing here
Coughing and blocking out
More ideas

Pretentious melody's play in my head
But I can't slip into
Real world explanations
The sky can only be one of two colors
A sentiment tied to
One or the other
Or I'm left wondering why
It has to be

I'm still sick of every friendship I make
Its hard to examine the memorys
What I take, and what i leave behind
Trivial, and i wish i had a bit more
Control

I don't care about my future
Irregardless people will still be
And treat me the same
Way, and I'll still be pining for
The same things
Guarded and
Mostly friendless

All my friend's lost the faith as rivers of untapped
Ichor potential drain from what could be

Still in a bad way, but learning to cope with
The constant pressure that's building behind my eyes

We lived for a pipe dream
But it seems fate had us occupied
Everything that life did entail
And predestination

With every other missed intro
And work that falls by my wayside
Finite we fight for empty tales
No longer a fail safe

Bloviating on and on about how it used to be
Ignoring the misery that plagues us to the day
With iron in hand, a blood spattered mistery
I eye up the crime scene of all of your dashed dreams

But tomorrow

We'll still wake up

And somewhere on the uptake, I'm sure you'll find the way

Into the path

I chose to take

You'll see I never gave up on what you threw away

There's no such thing as second takes, the reel got thrown away
Stop searching in the shadow, for a risk you'll never take
As time winds up around you, and brings you from your state
Why fight the intuition

Every passing moment
Caught staring at the blissful sky
Decorating the ceiling

Awash in the glow
Of light that hides away just out of frame
It's been burning low

Thoughts of my life still beckon, as the world takes a somber tone
But the timing is right, pulled in this effortless misdirection
It's numbing

Found myself here
Why isn't that enough...

A gilded cage. Maybe
I guess
I'd rather let the summer air drench the weathered wood
Another recessed cycle, all timeless til its over
Lie here lifeless
With nothing left to fight
Only time