RECORD: INSOMNIAC OLYMPICS
FROGMAN: BLOCHEAD

Suzy's: Then it heard The Word:

You are not special.
You're not a beautiful and unique saltflake.
You're the same decaying mental laughter as everything else.
We're all part of the same info heap.

We're all singing,
all dancing
data of the word.
-- Tyler Durden, Tacky Frogman

I mean just try to

Imagine a Johnny waking up one moment and thinking,

"This is an interesting thought I find myself in —
an interesting wHole I find myself in —
guides me rather neatly, doesn't it?
In fact it guides me staggeringly well,
must have been made to have me in it!"

This is such a powerful throught that as the sun rises in the mind
and the clouds heat up
and as, gradually, the throught gets
smaller
and
smaller,

she's still frantically stinging on the notion that everything's going to be aulgburight,
because The Word was meant to have him in it,
was written to have her in it;
so the moment that reappears, caches them rather in reprise.

I think this may be something we need to be on the waytch-out for.
We all know that at some point in the future the throughts will come to an end
and at some other point,
considerably in advance from that but still not instinctually re-pleasing,
the Sun will rexploade.

We think there's plenty of throught to tarry on about that,
but on the other Read DeadHead
throught ’s a very anger-ous ink to lay.
-- Douglas Adams, Frogman

Johnny's: So,

We just ought To Be.
-- You and Me and Everyone We See

Suzy's: And it would be nice if

A Brad and Janet could change their mind,
plan a din-stinction,
butcher a clog,
conn-a-fusion,
design a dream,
write a union,
balance brains,
build a wall,
set a tone,
belay the lying,
make orders,
live orders,
cooperate,
act alone,
solve self equations,
analyze a new corruption,
throw info lure,
program a harmed-brain-puter,
hook a hasty mind,
fight self efficiently,
receive truth carefully.
But all-selfse destruction is their mode.
-- Robert A. Heinlein, Frogman

Johnny's: In other words,

Show me one Brad or one Janet alone and I'll show you a saint.
Give me two and they'll fall in love.
Give me three and they'll reinvent the char-ming thing we call 'Propriety'.

Give me four and they'll build a panic.
Give me five and they'll make one a Number.
Give me six and they'll reinvent Master's affair.
Give me nine and in nine moments they'll reinvent ludechrist.

WhoMans may have been made in the image of nature,
but Brads and Janets were made in the tincture of their opposite Number,
and they're always trying to get back to The Hearth.
-- Glen Bateman, Frogman

Suzy's: Picking up the Data Crumbs as they go, like High Speech. And yet

Brads and Janets do not seem certain of how they gained the ability to speak.
It is theorized that they began dinning objects with iniornticulacy,
until eventually the din became more organized—

still tumultuous clamour,
just a bit more meat in the current day.

If this is true,
it means that to attain bsproken thought the Brad and Janet brain created a specific system for language and a way to code it—working largely off the constantly developing faculty for memory. It is an idea revealed by bit com-partitian-alization of throught data threw the structure of language; re-veiled in the way that Brads and Janets peak or wrighte using their memorized vocabularies and concepts.

This mind fore Toe-ing mortgaged itself to the e-x-ternal word,
and Brads and Janets found power in pontification of life.

Then dawned Ninetbeen.

If the systems of Ninetbeen were enhanced then a more dominant Reality presentce resulted. The most refissiont equation became the most dominant, but
the most efficient equation is not the best.

There are many sacrifices made for effishinsea.

For the most dominant Brads and Janets it became an obsession
to control every aspect of the nature from which they Rose,
sacrificing natural progression

(Of course, it does seem like this is the natural progression,
Brad's and Janet's predetermined path—
a relief that is a symptom of the most engineered systems of code).

Unfortunately,
these systems are destroying Brads and Janets,
and raw rEffissionsea,
Pure confusions,
will not save them.
-- Thrusher Swainson, Bear M.B.

STOP: TURN THOUGHT

throught thine eyes
what splendid glory
we witness
the beauty of
the august light
sprinkled throughout
a speechless blue sky
throught thine eyes only

As the ripe of night passes by
he lays on his back and looks to the sky.
A bold gaze he holds in his eyes
as he covers hêr gently under the sheets.
Staring in the broad open he thinks
of how all the universe came to be next to him.
His fingers run along from her thigh to cheek
as he counts all the stars reflected from her ivory-hued skin.
A creature delicate,
painted in colors contrary to the night,
seems like she was chosen to be
even long before those stars gave birth to their light.

As morning comes by,
even before the Sun, she illuminates the sky.
He has never seen something so beautiful,
as that slow waking of her eyes.
No other sight in this world could
feed his gaze like that half-woken confused pale face.
And as she whispered, still in her dreams,
he silently laughed and thanked all,
all that stardust throught the years,
for gathering into something so rare,
so rare, he saw only in her wild untamed hair.

No leaf
shall leave
her branch
undone
until she sing
with glory
displaying
a tapestry
of deep burgundy red and
bright pumpkin orange
autumn leaves falling
through
this
daybreak's gold

IF you stand by my side,then you can lean on me
I will care  for you,
throught the rough &bad; times,
Stand by myside,and I'LLpromise to love you forever,
Stand by my side,and I will show you a
rainbow after a good nights rain.
Standby my side,I can protect you  from
the devil himself!.
IF ,you stand by my side,I'LL,
even pull out a star from the skies above,and give it to you .
Stand by my side,and we can watch the sunset .
Stand by my side .and ILLgive you the world.
Stand by my side ,and I promise to never hurt you.
Lean on me ,for I am strong.
Stand by my side ,and together we can make dreams
come true ,with just one snap ofour fingers.
I can promise you'll never cry anymore or
ever be alone again.
Stand by my side,and I;LLgive you paridise,
But all I want in return,is your love!
SO please wont you stand by my side?.

Today I walked in from work
Making my way throught the strange and quiet house.
I couldn't understand when I walked into my room and saw you snuggled in my blanket
My bed has never looked so warm and so inviting
Your red hair spilling all over the pillows
Cascading into the shadow
I laid down fully dressed
Laying there in a dream
You are evreything that I will ever need
My best friend
pocketwatch
rain cloud
kissing booth

So strange to see your lips agian
Pursed and perfect
Red stained Beautiful

All so warm and simple
Not like the others
Her whole life is sweet and gentle

You can watch the parts of my life you touch
Turn away from the stoney lonesome
Your vines, your ivy, sweet smelling flowers
Wearing angel soft petals bloom in the pale moon

So what is left for me?
What more do I need?
I have my "Shelter from the Storm"

So
a long tired kiss is in order
on sleeping lips
soft and unkowing

Curling up in the warmth next to her
The flower wrapping her warm petals about me
I need nothing else in this world
As I begin to drift off into sleep so complete
A rustling on the bed beside me
Warm lips touch my ear
I hear her breathe "thank you"
and like that she left me there

I wake up alone
On this old couch
Sunlight creeping in through the broken blinds
In this trash apartment
In this nowhere town
Sober

I look in the mirror
What do I see?
Wrinkly woman
Staring strait back at me
Her eyes have bags
She hasent slept in weeks
Her hair all white
White as snow
Her eyes wide like a child's first hope
She looks at me
Puts her and on the mirror
"Dadda?" She asks
" no I'm not your father"
"Dadda?"
" I don't know where he is.."
"Dadda?!" She starts to freak out
" I'm not your father!"
"Dadda!!"
"I DONT KNOW WHERE HE IS! I DONT KNOW WHERE HE WENT! HE LEFT US OK! HE LEFT us.."
She turns her head and looks at me
"Why?" She asks
I tell her" I don't know!"
She points to the watch on her wrist
"He only gives you those so you can count down the minuts to see him! It's not worth it! Every year it's longer and longer, and soon he will walk right out of your life!"
"Dadda is suppost to come! I want to play!"
I look at her, reach out and touch her hair
"The only game our father plays is hide and go seek except we give up looking and waiting for him"
"But I've been waiting since I was three!"
" and now your eighty! Don't you see? Go get sleep or find some friends! You will find other love, it's just as good."
"Don't lie to me!" She demands in a deep voice. Her eyes full of hate!
"No don't do that! You don't deserve all that hate !"
" nothing is as good as a fathers love! Not a date, a true boyfriend NOTHING!"
"How do you know ? We have never had a fathers love!"
" but you see it around you. Then you give up and try boy love."
"Don't say that!"
"You know it's true the only reason you date boys is to find some love for you! You seek attention and kisses and hugs! So you feel someone truly cares and loves! Your pathetic trying to wait! Pretending to love him every holiday ! "
"SHUT UP SHUT UP!!" I say and punch the mirror
"Why don't you make me! You pathetic slime You can't enjoy Christmas *** he's gone mine !"
I stood up and stare her in the eyes. "No one owns me or tells me what to do!"
"Oh I'm so scared!"
"Yes yes you are ! Your scared of never being enough! Your scared that if your not pretty! You'll die and he won't give a ****! Your scared that you will loose him! Your scared no one will care! Well guess what buddyriend and family that care !"
"Why don't you sleep it off? And wait for him to care?"
"IM DONE SLEEPING AND WAITING FOR HIM !" I reach in and grab her by the throught. "AND IM DONE LISTENING TO YOU!"
I turn her neck till the mirror shatters
The glass breaks
my hand blead
I sit and cry like nothing mattered
I look at one of the pieces on the ground in front of me. It's a little girl only about age 3.
"Thank you" she says and curtsys and disinagrates away.
I sit and cry. Tears of joy
Nothing is more blissful then freedom
Even more then a boy.

Throught the trees of Tamarit
have come the hounds of lead
waiting for the branches to fall,
waiting till they shatter themselves.

Tamarit has an apple tree
with an apple on it that sobs.
A nightingale gathers the sighs
and a pheasant leads them off through the dust.

But the branches are happiness,
the branches are like us.
They don't think of rain, they sleep,
as if they were trees, just like that.

Sitting, their knees in water,
two valleys awaited the Fall.
The twilight with elephantine step
leant against trunks and branches.

Through the trees of Tamarit
are many children with veiled faces
waiting for my branches to fall,
waiting till they shatter themselves.

Moonlight dancing at the top of the hills
Throught the trees the light spills
Long black dress, sleek and shimmering
Trails behind me , green eyes luminescent in the night
My hair long in swirls down my back
Hand to bark
Breath to the chill of the air
I can feel it
I was here
In another demension
One that I traveled to
I came here , I just wanted to see you
Bare feet intertwined with the grass
I dance
Dance with the silence
Dance to my heartbeat
Dance to my breathing
Hands raised to touch the sky
Dark in its slumber
Close my green eyes
And picture a wolf
Black to match the night
And a star , of white placed
Between my green eyes
And when I reopen them
I stand on four paws
I feel free in my new skin
Tall in my new fur
And I run to the song of my paws
A howl above another
Alpha to this lone wolf pack
Into the distance I'm enveloped by
Dreams crescent arms

the fireflies
queue their lamps
to harvest
the light then
zip zig and zap
through the
still of the night

I admire you.
The honesty, the purity
The seconds of happiness
The moments of passion

How does this moment last forever?
Without secrecy...but the same intimacy.
How does one feel?
How should we react?

What is right doesnt mean it will lead to happiness.
What is wrong doesnt mean its worth loosing what is.
But how do we know?
We dont.

Its all risks. A risk worth taking?
A risk worth fighting for?
Whatevere it was...
All it took was a single spark.


All it takes is a singe spark.
A single spark that set ablaze not just the heart.
A spark felt throught.
It never felt so good to be on fire.

But how does a spark end?
Pour water on it?
No. Not this kind of spark.
This is one that merges.

Before it dies out,
It catches fire with someone elses spark.
Fight fire with fire.
And all you get is a bigger fire.

Could the flames burn for eternity?
Die out in a day?
But, how did the spark catch on this much?
Whats so special?

Sirens preserve theirs under the moonlight.
Where the smoke creates the plantes.
The planets then orbit the earth.
Fall down and blaze up the fire again.

The Sparrow is a little more chaotic and less poetic.
She lights up her home, but she keeps adding the twigs.
Does she destroyed her own home?
Or has she created a weapon?

All it takes is a single spark,
To start a fire, a revolution, a war
And the most important thing of all.
To start the shimmerin your eye.

As I sit and feel the warm sun,
as I bend and breathe,
as I hear the avion flirtations
throught the daffodil lament,

I absorb,
like a smiling sponge of incredible size,
like a leaf adrift on the ocean's breath.
I write,
like the searching ponder,
like the probing wonder.
I think,
like the white lotus sighs,
like the rolling hill-fog sunrise.

To explore, I dive, I climb, I lay.
To learn, I rest, I trip, I fumble.
To love, I touch, I kiss, I see.
To live, I do, I am, I be.
To write again,
Finally,
Brings
A flood.

RECORD: PARANOID ANDROID
FROGMAN: RADIO HEAD

BEGIN INNERMISSION 1

Frogman of enormous Brisingierdth
(on my mind sHe holds OUR hearth):

Try to imagine minds without throughtkeeping.

you probably can't.
you think you know the intro,
the conclusion,
the thought of the body and mind.

yet all inside you,
throughtkeeping is instinct.

Brads are not late.
a Janet does not check her selfse.
machines do wrinkle rememberances.

WhoMans alone measure throught.
WhoMans alone chime panic.
And because of this.
WhoMans alone suffer a paralyzing Miracle that no other creature can cure.

The Miracle
of throught running out...

END TRANSMISSION 1

Riff Raff: Hello.

Brad: Hi!
           My name is Brad Major Threes, and this is my fiancée, Janet Twice One.
          I wonder if you'd mind helping us.
          You see, our brain broke down a few moments up the road.
          Do you have an ear we might fill?

Riff Raff: You're wet.

Janet: Yes, it's crainving.

Brad: Yes.

Riff Raff: Yes!... I think perhaps you better both com-e inside.

Tic .

Tic .

Tic .

DING!

Janet: You're too kind.
           Oh, Brad, I'm frightened.
           What kind of future is this?

Brad: Oh,
          it's probably some kinda way-outta heare for real wyrdos.

Janet: Oh.

Riff Raff: This way-out.

Janet: Are you forgetting The Parties?

Riff Raff: You've arrived on a rather special wrighte.
                  It's one of the Chaster's afflairs.

Janet: Oh,
           plucky shim.

Magenta: You're plucky,
                  he's plucky,
                  I'm plucky,
                  we're all plucked-ees! Ha haa haaa!!!

STOP: TURN THOUGHT

The youngest of them all,
at times being the only one around her,
got me fed up.
Her love seemed like hate,
her protection like punishment,

yet never knowing that a time would come,
the time to find my freedom,
to see love and care in her,
to see comfort and safety in her protection.

She is the woman that kept me in her womp for nine months,
with a lot of pain
she brought me to the world,
with too much sufering,
she still never gave me up for adoption.

She is my mother,
the woman i can brag about everyday.
She is my mother,
the woman i love so much without any daught.

She made me vigilant to the things of this world,
groomed me with wisdom.
Taught me knowledge
and gave me the name Nolwazi[which means knowledge]
she fought for me never letting me sleep on an empty stomach.
She held me tight and made sure
that i went on with my studies.

She is my mother,
a woman i love so much,
a God fearing woman,
i never got to write about her until today,
she kept me warm throught the stormy nights,
and whispered in my ear while in her harms till i fell asleep.
I love her so much,
no one's love is greater than hers.

All throught the night I dream

Because you are by my side

Caring in your special way

Dreaming as well, next to me

Each other dream of our love

For we dream together

Giving our love our hope

Hope that we cherish in our sleep

In our dreams we are always as one

Just being in our dreams here together

Knowing our love shines in our minds

Loving our souls and our bodies tonight

Mind and body reunited in our special place

Never being apart from our dreams and desires

On a higher plain of existence, together

Placing our promises and our love for ourselves

Quest of our salvation we find in each others arms

Reaching out and holding on for what we have

Special love belongs only to us this night

Two souls that entwine together for ever and ever
Under the dreams that protect our love at all times

Velvet kisses that we share in a dream scope

We never drift away from silver reflections of the heart

X marks the spot that our dreams take us now

Your dream to me is mine I share with you

Zodiac signs matched with love in dream




copyright Chris Smith 2009L

Left to our own devices,
what mischief can we find?
Some trouble to get into,
a worm inside my mind.
Climb up a tree,
or better a cliff!
Boo, not enough danger,
only a whiff.
Lets make a fire,
down in the wood.
Then put in gas canisters,
explosions are good!
Barely a bang,
what a waste of a fire,
so we run throught the flames,
like it's our funeral pyre!
Take the big knife,
thrown back and fore,
if I make Andrew  duck,
it raises my score.
Found a long rope,
that means some fun!
I'll be trussed up and dangled,
so off I will run.
Time to go home now,
off to our bed.
We're both over 40,
but still kids in our head.

They move,
Slowly they move
Closer to each others they move.
Those shades of white
Those white knights
The knights of the light
Throught the blue sky
High in that sky
They fly ...
Beyond that blue, they move
And from your blues they let you move
The whiteness within you start mooving
The tongue within your soul start mooving
The inner voice within you, with you start speeking ...
"SMILE !"
"Smile" they say !?
"Your smile display"
"Display" they say !?
You don't know how or why
You smile just arise
Then you contemplate their smile
You want to touch them
You want to fly with them
You want to smile for them
They are still moving
Not to the north, nor to the south
Not to west, nor to the east
In a complete mystery
But perfectly
In a total harmony
Like a holy symphony
They are just dancing ...
And you are just smiling ...

Nosy little red head,
don't be a snitch.
Nosy little red head,
acting like a *****.
Stay in your own ****,
or I'll treat you like a kid.
I wanted to slit your throught,
when I heard you read my note.
Not for nosy red head,
so hold your tounge or you'll wish you were dead.

I went to the airport today , as my mom was traveling I was there my sister ,my father and we kept doing our goodbyes as my father expressed how much he will miss her about 10 times .. even though she's coming back in a week.
While I was sitting there a man caught my eye he was with a lady a smaller asian lady , she was dressed very simply looks like she doesn't have much, her hair was messy .. she doesn't seem to care about how she looks , he was pushing her from her hand joint and not her actual hand .. his grip firm .. like she was a stray dog and he was containing her from runing wild . He was dressed more decently and he seemed from the gulf and he  seemed like he wanted to get this over with .. he kept pushing her as my eyes involuntarily followed their every move he had a passport in his hand seemed hers and a small bag .. no luggage.
I saw her passing throught the    checkpoints and I lost them for a while Finally it was time to leave my mom at the check point where only the travelers can pass .. that's when I saw that lady again and the security was behind her again guiding her like a stray puppy to the man who happened to be next to me .. the security handed her over to the man who didn't seem so happy to see her again as the security said " the captin won't allow her on his flight like this, she needs to wake up from whatever she's in" ... that's when I lost them again as my mother was waving to us the final wave I got occupied by waving back and then watched her leave .finally we decided to leave the airport and for the last time I found the lady agian sitting alone starring into the ground her head waving back and forth like her neck was not strong enough to hold her head .. as I saw the man leaving the airport door with a key in his hand .. he left the bag and passport with her and left .. and we left too
But she stayed there
Unaware and rejected
lost but no one was searching

i met her in killarney a good old irish girl
my head was in a spin my mind was in a whirl
with her eyes so blue the color of the sea
and a loving smile that she gave me to me.

i fell in love with her body heart and soul
made me feel so happy made feel so whole
we went for a walk together side by side
i could feel my heart filling up with pride

walking through the fields with its grass so green
with its different shades that were in between
holding hand in hand as we walked along
with the meadow lark singing us his song

everything so peaceful as gentle as can be
no one else around theres just her and me
with her eyes so blue the color of the sea
my good irish girl that sets my spirit free

holding hand in hand throught the fields so green
counting all the shades that were in between
no one else around as quiet as can be
my good old irish girl theres just her and me

Yes, sir, I kissed her
On the mouth in the back of the bus
It was dark so I reached over and touched her
In a place where my fingers had never felt before
You bet your life, I kissed her
And guess what? She kissed me back
I 'bout had me a heart attack
When I felt her tongue on mine

She always has your eyes, darling one
It's how I know it's true
That there will never be another one
Who can do the things you do
No matter who she is
My, love, she always has your eyes
For your eyes are her eyes
It's not a surprise

Yes, sir, it hurt when she left me
I ain't ashamed to admit
Wonderin' how long until she'd forget me
You're ******* right she'll forget
You're best served with the truth, my foe
There's a lot you'll never know
So much I'll never tell you
For now it's time to go...

...go along, little dove, move along the straight and narrow. Bring along your bow and arrow. It's a small gate and few are the wasted who have tasted it's taste then wasted it's a band of jobless ruffians walking in a straight line, eyes locked straight ahead and determined to arrive at their destination. Dressed in monk's robes, their attire was not the only thing about them which conjured the appearance of a band of Tibetan's finest.
     Make haste! Go along, sweet caterpillar of the dawn. Gather your spawn and meet us on the backyard lawn. Make it quick, make your move, make every guitar pickin' note count. This is your time, La Penguin, it is the dawn of your destiny. The pawn of the mystic's I have placed upon a square I am not legally entitled to inhabit, figuring you would not notice it and even if you did you might not realize I was playing the match illegally. Royal eggs hatch regally, they are a meal of value and worth.
     Plath's dead voice recites her own poetry in the 74th century throught the medium of streaming music, which is every man's birthright. The inhabitants of this far off century are each and every soul well versed in song and voice, rythmn and melody, the poignant lyric in the third verse or during the chorus, their collective history was the culmination of thousands upon thousands of years totally absorbed in every aspect of MUSIC. To say they worshipped music would be to stop somewhat short of being the absolute truth but we listen anyway, we always do, good morning, I am the voice in your head. Have you finally befriended me? Finally accepted me and maybe even appreciated me? Regardless. I am the voice in your head. Do you want to know whose voice is in MY head? That's right: YOURS! Do you think this makes me any happier than the prospect of my being the voice in your head it's complicated, I'll grant that. But now that you're on a roll, what say we write some more crap poetry?

Try not to rhyme
No one does that anymore, that's reason enough
Yes, there is a secret meaning behind all this
You were not on my mind when I wrote this crap
If things had gone my way I could be making excruciatingly
Joe, where you going with that gun in your hand?
I love all you *******, I really do
Some of you are genuine artists
Some of you can't write for ****
But that don't make it bad, does it?

Who is she?
She was a worm that crawled in your ear
One summer night while you slept in bed
Dreaming of the day your son
Shot you in the head
Then left you for dead
Wake up, David, wake up!
Fear not the tarantula, David, wake up!
For his bite doth not ****

...go along, feline substitute, your portmanteau is waiting. where are those people now who were so recently uncharitable? They've all been little boys before, every soldier in the field, every face behind bars, they've all had baths and someone to dry them off. Surely this must be? I am too wasted to go on.

Naya kudro. Reo o hart bonite. Rega in gavida, gavida. E qualid plea, senior away cast them in fee, el mquee.
Hula sona karay. Shis attune heh, hey hey, the grinavorte, honeas delong. O, fate be a queen. Allah's mortal today. The name. I don't want a name. Oh, no. The glad. Uh, uhhhhhhhh, uh, I'm madalam...you know....it's grand.......these sandwiches, they're grand.........beam me up, Scotty, you know the rest of the joke........Just like drums in an African rainforest, glistening with moisture, the rain mixing up the rythmns as drops make contact with skin. .........holding in past for the trial........coming in a car.........what a................you run, you running so much higher, climbing on a wire, you know..........you run, you running so much faster and now you're...........holding in past for the time......holding and caring for strange..........what catches your eye.........

I only thought I was too wasted to go on.
But this time
It's a for sure deal
I
am
too
wasted
to
continue

...to be continued

the songbird
walks through
the sky
with its wings
stretched out wide
that burst
through the
clouds somehow
as it sings
reach for
higher ground

the fireflies
queue
their lamps
to harvest
the light
the fireflies
zip zig and zap
through the
still of
the night

love songs
sugar tears
dried by handsome princes
traipsing merrily throught the daisies

the demon laughs
and gives the globe
another shake
as the dark sky
disintegrates around her

Everyday I face a war within myself
I look in the mirror and think
and how my family would be better without me
The troubles theyve gone through because of you
I look at my wrists,I clenched my fists and walk away
If only it was that simple
Knowing I need to get throught this
Thinking this way,is just not me
I'am not myself,to harm myself
I'am tired its just so much
What now?,Not sure
Everyday is gonna be a daily struggle
I know that for sure
I feel like cold,hard stone
I dont when,I dont how
I will climb out of this hole
and will see the light
And seek for help
If I could cry,I would
You would think I am happy,I'am not
I'm not miserable
Im just not me right now
I will comfront my demon within me
Because I do not know this girl Ive become
Outside,I'm the same silly girl
Inside,Im dry like the desert
I will find myself once and for all

out of
the nest
comes
the best of
the best
some birds
are born
to stretch
their wings
and
fly through
the storm

The flames are haunting my soul
Trying to catch me as I run
Run away from the horror that is my life
The terrible life I've been living
These mistakes I once made
Were never forgivin
As they eat me alive everyday
Guilt runs throught my body like blood
With too many emotions to cope with
I don't know how to control things
I just hide it all with a smile

I know everything has went so wrong and you want to just give up.but we will get throught this together standing shoulder to shoulder.no matter how bad things are.

Please don't give up your not alone so many people love you.for them this fight is not over and we will not loose you or let go.i should have said it sooner I love you more than anything.

Nothing can change what burns deep within my heart love brought us to this moment.throught your illness I will be there.every step of the way please don't leave me or give up

Darkness may fall things will get harder and harder but I will not walk away.from this day on your fight is my fight  your never going to be alone.so no more talk about giving up.

I can't believe she's gone
I still expect her to walk throught the front doors with our dog Shilo
My dogs tail would be wagging her goofy tounge hanging out of her mouth
My dad would go and embrace her in his warm bear hug
Kissing her gently
She would tell us about her run
How the wind was so fierce
How Shilo went chasing after deer in the park and how worried she was when she ran away
But only to have her come bounding back over the frozen underbrush
****
All I can think of now is my mom in that car listening to the iPod with the music pulsating into her ears
Slowly drifting of into a never ending sleep
Shilo would lay down between the seats, where her droopy dog eyes would slowly close to dream about chasing rabbits or deer in the park
****
It's a never ending film that keep replaying in my sorrowed mind.

run little bunny,
run.
you have been grasing in these pastures too long.

hide in plain sight,
like you allways do.

stop running the headlights,
i wont dodge you for long.

dont pull those limpid eyes,
and tilt your head sideways.
those vices dont melt me anymore.

you had the benefit of a lush meadow,
a soft warren for you weary body.

but you werent going to be tamed.
you flick your tail in rebellion.
you kick up your feet in disdain.
you eat the good fruits first.

so now,
little bunny,
shoo along.
a little quicker please.
dont hunker down,
and imagine i dont see you.
dont give me that petrified gaze,
and the quivering ears.

you came in throught the fence,
you will leave through the gate.

are you still here?

why yes,
i am loading my gun.

not a very smart bunny.

Flowers are so beautiful,
So different with different colours.
They deserve to live,
Why do we **** them?
We cut their lifes throught the mud,
Were they breath and feed.
One day  little girl told me,
We cut the flowers to keep them alive,
But why the flowers,why are they always dead?
I gave them water o keep them alive and wet.
They're sad for being in a jar,
But we are monster's!
We take them from the world outside,
We take them the air that makes them shake,
with vanity and makes their smell to spread in the world.
The flowers deserves freedom,just like humans.
So DON'T cut them,
FREE THEM,
FREE THEM from this cold evil humans.
-d.a

Acid leaks from my fingers
and you watch it with glee!
as time fragments and loops
repeat themselves redundantly.

My logic knows all and my shoes
have left my feet in search of a
robo-walk to maximize the pleasure.
I move in angles- trip trip trip----
stutter

All energy flows throught this very vessel
no need for nourishment, this ***** flies
backwards. Marching in grotesque lines
heading nowhere in particular. Faces
lose recognition and I die. die. die again.

My eyes are open? There is no difference.
All I see is a spiral tunnel filled with the
gruesome buzzing of infinite electric flies
and shades of nightmare.

Sound, words, fall short. I'm in a box
at a distance. Can't reach to decide whether
I'm sitting standing speaking. It tumbles out and splats
to the sticky purple mass
spittled like the sides of my brain
which pulse in a threat to implode

Waking dreams and living death
no borders in this country
a kaleidoscope of tulips, twisting strands
of gelatin, columns of panic,
and a glitch in the night.
A quick scream soon stifled.