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lina S Jun 15
The sun rises and coffee drips
I sip the bitter sweet blackness and think
I light a cigarette and I sink
Into another day another show.

Put on the mask and let go
Cause the real me can't survive
But no matter how much I hide it the real me shows.

I think of the world, the pain the suffering the wars.
I think of my friends and try to put a smile on
I think of my family and its cover me in emotions of a sad but sweet song.

I think of anyone to get my day on
But no one sparks me up and no I'm not in love.
And I'm not sure if that might ever happen
If I'm stuck in the state they call "madness"
Existential questions constantly on my mind
Why are we here, and does god really mind
My "sins" and how deep can we fall
And it seems like my life is on thin ice .

And I recall my dreams that are so vivid every night.
And I mix them with reality, painting an abstract painting in my mind.
Coding myself more, as meaning is held in complexity.
Or so I heard once said to me.

I sip my coffee and I think.
I used to write meaning and now its this thing.
Whatever you may call this.

I want to go after my dreams but my dreams aren't ever pretty
They're complicated and ******
And myself is nothing but this whole universe in disguise
In this case I call mine
And that makes everything matter and nothing matter

Coffee is my favorite drink
I dont do juices and other things
Just coffee or water
Black or white
Nothing inbetween

And so my mornings begin
lina S May 23
Like a veil has been lifted
Or has it been put on?

The world seems nothing like it did before.

And my words come out just to fill a hole.

I feel emotions by trying to remember how they felt like.

I copy the motions and expressions in hopes that it will bring back.

What once felt like being "alive".

I quite the voices in my head telling me it's a lie.

That my memories are an illusion, giving me hope that never existed.

And it was and all is just a fabrication of my mind.
lina S Mar 29
It's coming.
Like rain on a cloudy day.
Like dancing and a rush comes through your veins.
Like a fast car driving your way.

What you want is coming.
So dont run from it
And dont run for it.

It's coming.
lina S Mar 19
Be
Just Be

That is all there is and all there will be.

Infinity sign crossing over like a million webs
Sown together in a complete blissful mess

That is all there is and all there will be.

This.
You
And
Me

The sky feels like it's drawn on
Like a ceiling has that has been put on
My skin feels like it's been sown together
And my life's events feel like they're looping in a loop of forever.

Once your eyes have been opened
It's hard to go back
It's hard not to go mad
And the hardest thing is to dive in deeper
In meaning.

So just be
That is all there is and all there will be.

Just be.

That is my advice from you to me.
From me to you.
It's doesn't differ, really.

Cause this is all there is and all there will be.

So, just be.
lina S Feb 1
Soldiers ya they think they're soldiers
Soldiers ya they think they're soldiers

Quick sand oh its funny how they think they can stand
On quick sand

And what happens when you sleep at night
Do you feel like you've won the fight
And what happens when 95% of your brain is playing games
Chess and fight mode
Is the 5% gone insane
Or is it just plain
And its killing you
Or there so much going on and you dont know how to deal with the pain
How to handle it
And so you handle it
Like a soldier
A soldier of *******

They wrote it down
They told you
This is how life works
So now you cant even hope
And now you fight the fight you've been told to fight
Now you're a soldier
Ya your a soldier
Ya your a soldier
A soldier of *******

And now your a recruiter
And you want to recruit me
But I am a nomad
And I dont get mad
And I dont mind bei g sad
And I am  human
Human

Oh just show me why
Show me all.of.it
A new found confidence in myself
Cause I know I dont wanna be you .
Ask me how my self is
I'll tell you I've learned to be selfish
I dont want to fight
I dont want to be right
Time is ticking
And all I want in connections
lina S Jan 14
خالي
Like the emptiness of the dessert
That is my حالي

مالني؟
Questioning my decision like a
مدير مالي

اهمالي
And if I run from it, nothing will disappear
It fact it hunts me back like a جني

عادي
Getting used to it like its my profession
And I follow it let it domesticate me like دجن

And so I created my own سجن
ملل bored of myself
I look at you for لهو
Distract me like a filler
Botox me up till I انفجر
Fake it cause ill never make it
Blind sighted like سحر

مرّ
Like the stinge in my cigarette
Like the stinge in my black coffee
Is the crave to be free

تحت جلدي
Is the truth that would punch
Hit, hurt
Get hurt and bleed
Cause from you I dont استفيد

Im leaving this earth lonely
And I dont even know me
Screaming for help
******* انبح صوتي
And everyone knows it lowkey ..

أركض
أركض
Till the last breath.

And this feeling
You will never undress
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