"secretively" poems
As they walked along after the matinee, the older brother teased his sister, “Hey, guess what, Frankenstein lives in the attic and he’s goin’ get you.” With a flushed face the little sister responded, "Nah-ah, besides the attic door is locked." And her brother smirked, “Think Frankenstein cares about locked doors?"
Throughout their childhood, the brother jumped out behind closed doors, terrifying his little sister, and with each fright he gave his own fear seemed to lessen. After a startle the sister thought, ‘Does my brother love me, like I love him?’, and she concluded, “He must, why else would he try to scare me to death?’
Within the decade, a sudden brain hemorrhage took their dearly loved mother. Now, untethered in their mother’s love, the siblings changed, tightened, within, While their father, a traumatized, war veteran, swiftly fell off the wagon, and the brother and sister cast off, rudderless, uprooted into troubled waters.
And with their hearts snapped shut, immersed in relentless grief, they parted ways. Some years later, their father died, bequeathed them both his unhealed pain. The brother, the sister, slid secretively into alcoholism, conceded the family custom, invested deeply in their despair, the two went on, married, raised families, conformed.
And time went by, as alcohol soothed the pain until the brother breathed his last, his belly taut with fluid, his liver destroyed, a life sentence ended. While she, the lone survivor, mysteriously yielded unto Grace and was pardoned, recovered, she finally understood, she knew deep inside; everyone did the best they could, even her.
…and within a circle of one; I loved them all forever and ever.
Apr 13, 2014
Apr 13, 2014 at 11:53 AM UTC
Once a year its champagne!
I feel calm passionate and teary.
It gets my head to Paris
As life is broken down goes out
in transition or revelation,
there's a greàter darkness then the one we inadvertently fight,
the darkness of the soul
that has lost its way.
I was chosen by great sages crossing paths the sting of my blindfold lingers noone sees hope or their future, or where it leads we know only that it's bought in pain and sacrifice.
Letting go what I loved the most.
was eternal loss, having
no reparation, neither in time,
nor in eternity.
My love river is truth it's mouth is
cosmic creation.
He measured sensuality
secretively, and in shadows
he showed me feathers of half
a man syllhuette of him,
and feels guilty I just fill in blanks,
why smack a devolving face?
And what the heck!
I first measure people in trust.
then love, as true love is rare.
Trust tells love where to roam.
Love can't be made perfect
in distrust nor fear of rivals.
When I give my heart I do,
When I share my dreams too.
I do not drown in midnight
dew not retreat;
but I won't take sand in my eyes.
After the loving I go from rags
to riches in his love or shine
to wiser horizons..
~~~~~~~~~
Mr and Mrs Andrews.
At Karijinbba
Oct 13, 2021
Oct 13, 2021 at 10:08 PM UTC
Waned and weary with only toil and trouble
my limbs could only travel this journey tired. .
In my head to in my mind
-which coincidentally were not the same thing-
thoughts seemed to expire from the zealous fear found in your gaping wide darkness of speech.
My serenely spiritual soul's mythical secret shadow sparkled as a jewel:
Boundlessly black but brazenly beauteous by day, but by night,
my mind mentioned masses of decoratively hung ghastly gossip,
secretively shushed into silence
never
ever
to be a quick quiet find for any of us.
Jun 29, 2016
Jun 29, 2016 at 2:36 AM UTC
She was sitting there
Crying silently
Mascara flowing down
Down her broken face
Her broken fate
She was not a boy
Her truth was hidden
"You have to be a boy"
Her truth was forbidden
Secretively
She took her mother's Bindi
Lying carelessly on the bed
And wore it on her forehead
It was the only rebellion she was allowed
In a society so afraid
Of someone different from the crowd
But for the moment
It was all she needed
"Don't make the gods cry"
But what about her own tears?
The Bindi on "his" forehead
Was human civilization's greatest fear
Everybody wore a mask
She just couldn't
Or she would die
She was shakti
She was power
She was courage personified
The Bindi on her forehead
they couldn't hide
Dec 14, 2020
Dec 14, 2020 at 6:37 AM UTC
Golden ribbon lines the room,
Sweeping eyes, impending doom,
Plastic smiles light the way
Clinking glasses, set them down,
Making jokes, inducing frowns,
Everyone's an enemy
Awaiting that one special face,
I walk around in somewhat haste,
Glancing around secretively
I close my eyes and count, one two,
Not knowing you're across the room,
It feels as if I'm lost at sea
Three and four, opened the door,
Five and six, black shoes go click,
Voices around chat mindlessly
Seven, eight, surrounded space,
Nine and ten, my eyes open,
You're still hidden, and so I plea
Ever-changing eyes seek me out,
Learned my tells, know me throughout,
I wonder now where can you be?
Till I see your smiling face,
Walking slow, a tortured pace,
Finally, you're here with me
Dresses and suits rule the pack,
A sea of jewels laced through with black,
Let's glide about like royalty
Chatting, charming as we go,
Through these crowds, I hope you know,
I'm wearing this smile for only you
Secret looks and hidden smirks,
Make this night one of the first,
It's time to float comfortably
Home again, it's nice to say,
Tonight was a sweet escape,
Did I say you looked august?
Leaving now, those playful eyes,
One last smile, it will suffice,
I shake my head, you're enchanting
{ n.j }
Dec 10, 2013
Dec 10, 2013 at 1:42 AM UTC
"i'm sorry,"
doesn't quite describe
the feeling
inside me
after hurting someone
who honestly, loyally
cared for me
and my well-being
someone who could do that
when i couldn't even try.
"i'm sorry"
doesn't get the point across
that i broke
something so pure
and it wasn't even an accident.
it's not like,
i was unaware
we were exclusively together
when i reached out
and flirted with other people.
it's not like
i was oblivious
that we were monogamous
i still proceeded
to throw the heart you gave me
onto the ground
and stomp on it
my too-kind boss,
says it's because
i am depressed
and it was an effort of self destruction
destroy,
the only light
in my life
destroy,
our love
when you were the only creature
on this planet other than my mother
to truly care for me.
destroy,
knowingly,
secretively,
hiding
where we stood
where i stood
leaving you
waiting
in this downpour
with the impression
i would be right back in five minutes
but really, i was already on my way elsewhere.
i wish life was easy.
i wish i was a simple individual
i wish
i knew how
to love,
and be loved
without subconsciously trying to **** it up for myself
maybe it's because i believe i don't deserve it
maybe it's something more shallow than that
i wish i had reasons
for my depression
just like,
i wish i had a reason
why i crushed our relationship.
if i were to be selfish,
i would beg you
to take me back
beg you
to cuddle me
and spend the night with me
giggling
and holding each other close
i would tell you,
it will never happen again
that it was a dumb mistake
and please give it one more shot
but i love you
so i can't do that
instead,
i will deal with the bitter loneliness
that i created for myself
deal,
with the fake caring
the forced attention
pretending to be
somebody i'm not
for admiration
when you
were the only person
to love me for who
i actually am.
was it worth it?
no.
attention,
and lust,
is not love.
i know you wouldn't
take me back
even if i got on my knees
and begged for your forgiveness.
you are intelligent
and you respect yourself
and i will refuse to do that
because
on the off chance that you do
i know in my heart
i don't deserve it, not even a little bit
i'm crying as i write this
but i've gotten really good
at forcing down tears
and making my voice sound normal
to tell the man
i'm checking out
to have a nice evening
and i break down in tears
as he tells me
"keep the change, ok?"
no matter how i try
everyone
can see i'm broken.
i don't deserve
your kindness
your love
nothing at all
from anyone
not even
eighty-nine cents
Feb 16, 2016
Feb 16, 2016 at 7:01 PM UTC
I think it's beautiful
The way your hands are sturdy and calloused
Not the gentle softness illustrators are known for
These hands have felt real art
Built from the ground up
Days of mixing, moulding and texturing
Breathing life into deathly white parchments
I think it's beautiful
The way your arms are slender yet firm
Dusky brown skin holding rippling strong muscles
Strengthened slowly
through years of bullying and soul searching
Their unsymmetrical realness known not
For their harshness
But for the gentle notes they strum
Weaving elegantly with the quiet moving pictures on screens
I think it's beautiful
The way your shoulders always stand strong
A declaration demanding the eyes of every being in sight
Their angled rigidity know to be surprisingly nimble
An immovable pillar for the melting of your body
A constant transformation into unknown characters
The hidden bumps of tired hands
The rough ridges of calloused skin
The angled sharpness of chiseled bones
Hidden works of art
Flitting secretively under the armor you wear
The priviledge of their appearance
But a few can bear
Jun 13, 2017
Jun 13, 2017 at 5:42 AM UTC
Her sneaky way of stretching your ear
And silently one stepping herself inside your head
Completely unaware of the puzzle she's building like castle walls around your brain
No matter the combination to your safe of hidden secrets
There she is
Surrounding you like a thousand knights to one thief in the dark eerie woods
Prying even more secretively behind the red scene
Twisting the rope of war right out from under your feet
Because your hands are already tied
No matter how determined you are
About keeping your hot hair balloon afloat
She'll squeeze you like a lemon to get your acidic confession
Her blood hound senses will sniff 'em out no matter what
And then lick up the floor to judge your statements
No chance of over looking the oder of guilt gushing outta your pores
Or the bashful heat boiling through your veins
And the shameful twitch starting in your left eye
But of course
Your attempt to stuff those emotions inside the false confidence of your jeans
Is only a clean wiped window for her to look through
She'll ease herself on you at this point
Knowing the mouse in the trap has nowhere to scurry
Her approach will stare deep into your soul
Very painfully silent
After a crucially long moment
The silence shatters with her first question of interrogation
And the weight of your balloon comes crashing down to the crumbly ground
Feeling broken and hopeless in the rubble
Laying limp in the muck like a wet noodle that has escaped the spaghetti plate
Drained of emotions
And exhausted by shock
The final announcement says the war is over
And the opponent has won
Jan 10, 2013
Jan 10, 2013 at 9:14 PM UTC
Hmm,
At first sight
I like ...
Our eyes met, we smiled
The feeling is mutual
I can tell
Didn't think it possible but
It happened
Just like that!
I'm hooked
My summer crush
I looked up
A hand came in view
It was him, looking straight in my eyes
I melted on the spot
Took his hand and squeezed
The cougar in me purred with delight
Ahh, it's real
Mon cheri - those eyes
Always roaming to find the other
Hoping no one notices
It's a mutual thing
To just be friends
Not to harm or offend
Feels good
We smile, secretively
Like old friends
Summer crush
Like ice
Sizzling hot
Hush ...
I don't even know his name
Copyright JRap /7/2016
Jul 8, 2016
Jul 8, 2016 at 1:52 PM UTC
I sit still and stare secretively at your fragile figure.
Your shivering skin screams while you sleep in your twin sized bed,
As your blight bones rapidly rattle with fevering fear.
Your exasperating eyes open to expeditiously escape your nauseating nightmare.
But
Instead.
You awake to a repulsive reality worse than your immense imagination.
My heartbeat exhilarates excitedly,
When the damaged door frantically flies open,
The shrieking sound of wood carelessly colliding with the wall,
Is intentionally ignored by sleeping ears dreaming in denial,
As I wildly watch him stormily stumble like a gigantic giant,
Into your room.
Your battered body quivers quickly like an anxious animal.
You are the petty prey and he is the havoc hunter.
You use your cobalt comforter like a shield, to protect your shaking skeleton,
As you try to hide from the morbid monster who sedately sleeps down the hall.
The sour scent of bitter beer fills my nose as he places a filthy finger on your trembling lips.
He tragically tears the blue blanket away, destructively destroying your shield.
His terrible touch turns you hard, like a stiff statue,
Resulting in fierce feelings of shame and guilt, to wash wildly over you like a titanic tidal wave.
He painfully penetrates and turbulently thrusts into your collapsing core,
Annihilating,
Your illumined innocence and your beauteous body,
As his monstrous moans carefully cloud your cries as he explodes like a boiling bomb.
Once he leaves your blemished bedroom, you savagely grab onto me.
"I wish I was a superhero, like you Spiderman."
He cries as terrified tears tear across his face,
Leaving salty streaks and creating secluded scars.
But I cannot protect you.
So I am no superhero.
I think to myself.
As I let you cry onto my stuffed shoulder,
The only thing I can do,
Because I can't talk.
I can only keep sinister secrets.
Feb 3, 2017
Feb 3, 2017 at 9:08 AM UTC
I had a dream
about the ocean
white beaches and
seagulls making the
light flicker as they
fly over me
I had a dream
about the ocean
wild currents and
unknown forms of life
staring at me without
me noticing them
I had a dream
about the ocean
the reflection of
thesunset, carved
into the sea while
painted on the sky
and the salty wind
drying my eyes
I had a dream
about the ocean
black waves ragin
at rocks and humans
and all things disturbing peace
and screaming that I will
never know its secrets
I had a dream
about the ocean
picking up little treasures
it left for me, shipwrecked
little secrets I will
never know where came
from, and the ocean
will smile secretively back
Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 4:48 AM UTC
You were brutally honest and assertive as well as terribly rude.. and yet I loved it.
I loved how you never admitted you were wrong and just went with it like nothing had happened... It was kind of cute for a while.
I think back to the days of learning each other inside and out... the way our bodies connected was anything but innocent.
You had green eyes and sandy blonde hair that was wavy when you let it grow out.
You had such a way of walking with your head held high it was almost a turn on the way your confidence shown through.
But it was all a lie. You are the most perfect liar.
You were hiding behind those demons you so enthusiastically put me down for having myself.
You were hiding behind self pity that you constantly reminded me of in myself.
You couldn't admit you were wrong because you are a coward. I told you I felt like this was a game... you were so angry that night because I had finally stood up to you.
I told you I wouldn't do this again until you committed... and you sat there staring at the wall fuming... but never said one word... and you watched me walk out the door.
I left. I went home and I cried for hours and yet you never called.
I build those walls back up just to make myself stronger for the moment... and I went one with life.
I saw you a year later.. you looked so confident still... except to me.
I saw the fear in your eyes when you caught my glance.
I saw you catch your breath finally, secretively, admitting you were wrong.
And I smiled... I smiled at walked away...and I knew...
I knew I had finally won.
Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 10:21 PM UTC
back
for a while
to my home town
a sunny place
cradled by a longing
for an ocean
labyrinthic streets
secretively whispering
memories of bygones
streets are crowded
I walk along
anonymously
ghostly
nowhere to go
nothing to do
wandering
and in the crowd
what a singularity
unknown
unrevealed
restrained
castrated
such a similarity
Dec 17, 2014
Dec 17, 2014 at 2:15 PM UTC
Closed doors with trash cans in front
Blocking outside access
Who knows what goes on back there
With the lock engaged
Secretively, furtively
The tiny click
A signal to keep out
There for all who know to read
May 9, 2010
May 9, 2010 at 8:32 AM UTC
Love is a beautiful thing
Butterflies turning into sparks
No where near a fling
Carvings on trees act as their beauty marks
Love maybe be beautiful and inspiring
But we find it confusing
Yet it shouldn't be expiring
Stay next to me for the moments we shouldn't be loosing
Love's beauty is undeniable
Completely amazing
Sincerely indescribable
There is not enough words for its phrasing
The beauty of love is true
Present all day
Especially when I'm tangled in you
Hoping our love will never decay
Love is a beautiful thing
Sneaky and nonchalant
We're secretively contemplating not pursuing because of pain that distance may bring
Resulting in the loss of love's beauty, is that what we honestly want
Nov 25, 2011
Nov 25, 2011 at 9:14 AM UTC
Traumatised be not,
In a land,
where hate is shamelessly shown,
and love is, however, hidden.
In a land,
where one scorns lovers,
and wishes secretively to be loved.
Surprised be not,
In a land,
Where it is common to abuse,
but a sin to woo.
traumatised be not,
In a land,
where a ruler is tyrant,
Yet his tyranny is idolized,
in a land,
where the rich are avaricious,
and the poor generous.
Surprised be not,
in a land,
Where temples matter
more than humans,
In a land,
Where the elite dine twice,
And the rest, of hunger, die twice.
Traumatised be not,
Where enlightenment is fought
And ignorance is taught.
Traumatised be not,
In a land,
Where life is choetic,
And where everything is pathetic.
After all,
Suprised be not
At any surprising contradiction
In land of contradictions...
By Rachid Oulamine
Feb 4, 2018
Feb 4, 2018 at 5:33 PM UTC
An assassin mentality
Has taken over the epoch's, scientists measure faith by
Weathering of muck
Hewn stone comes from bombing homes
Yet only scientifically has man
Measured their fate.
We open gates
To realms of the dead.
Kings run rampant
Queens say off with heads.
Politics like tricky ****
Create the rebirth of Nixon scandals.
Making words around the world
And wars they use to advance
Secretively they laugh
Behind the curtains of seance.
conjuring up tricks,
erroneous illusions.
Making boys to men
Armys to win
The masses of confusion.
Mar 11, 2016
Mar 11, 2016 at 9:15 AM UTC
Oh, blessed wisdom
that led the sages' path,
for it was theirs the bliss
of reaching the living idea,
on flesh and bone human like.
Oh, how seldom
men are granted
such a prize!
So I wonder
whose hand led my path,
of wisdom so unlike,
so sinfully unbeliever
of what could be,
for I have seen
the love I dreamed of
and secretively drank
from the mead that was
not mine to take.
So I wonder
whose hand led my path
and keeps me here,
gazing from a distance,
imposing me to run away
if he said he loved me...
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 3:53 PM UTC
I am young and I am old
Like a play ground I will forever be immature, but everlasting
I was once a boy
It didn’t hurt my face to smile
I had no ambition to be happy
It was given to me to nurture
It was my child
Children become men
Mothers become friends
Fathers fade away like heroes
Everyone remembers the villains
I was once stranded on a bad part of town
Darkness made the hum of the street lamps comforting
Neon lights bounced off the glossy wet side walks and streets
I could hear the whispers of men and women
Speaking secretively in the shadows
How did I become so lost?
Where was my car?
Did I ever have kids?
The night surrounded my heart, my eyes could not hide
My peace walks past me with sadness in her eyes
My child, did I ever have kids?
I pick her up and hold her in my arms
Where did you go? what happened to you?
Why are you here, in this bad part of town?
She said nothing, she couldn’t hide her eyes
I could see the trail of trust that drained from her feet
It glossed the sidewalks and streets
Where did you go? How did I become so lost?
I am young and I am old
In a bad part of town
My face hurts
Nov 18, 2015
Nov 18, 2015 at 4:38 PM UTC
through the lips of
the horizon
a purple parasol
of attenuated *****
spread, flagrant is the crepuscule.
these are the exiled
in the heliotrope world:
trees saluting the length
of sprinting air to calm
these undulations -
painted are the leaves
with blame.
lips sinking to find answers
hidden underneath the
derelict of sweat, noisome moan
after quieted breathing,
heavy with the undeniable boulder
of craving's weight -
tongue naked, freeing itself
from the oubliette of flesh,
finding what is still to be
tasted in a covetous harvest,
it is indeed strange to be here,
in this absolute hour
of absent resoluteness.
to deny want and embrace fullness,
my eyes slope these visions
and then dive through steepness.
no words have to be said,
only their significations
held secretively as roots
are unseen flourishing in their
obligations to this flower,
your flower
underneath the twilight
of bodies crossing each other
out, love's derivatives
ensue.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 5:34 AM UTC
sometimes I wonder if it's you who is lost or if it is I
tied to each other by spider silk
as delicate as a whisper
as strong as a promise (or whiskey)
our laughter booms forth
as loud as the trucks rambling off the freeway
as pure as the water we consume
our limbs entwined in sheets peppered with dog hair
endless stories fall from your lips
a boy not yet a man
a man with the heart of a boy
of far off lands, of another world
your eyes sparkle secretively
devilishly, mirthfully, wondrously
you lips curl cloyingly
slyly, impishly, lovingly
conjuring ways to trouble and adore me
if only tonight could last forever
there will be no other like it
tendrils of marlboro blends cling to the air
permeating the drawers, the walls, the sheets
and underneath it all
a heady fragrance burns and smolders
i fish for my lessons of you
in sleepless nights, in strength
measured in casts of iron
of release, acceptance, presence
the snow has melted with the rush of rain
permafrost given way to daffodils
how time slips away when i'm with you
let it be.
Jul 8, 2014
Jul 8, 2014 at 11:27 AM UTC
I Can't Embrace
My Enemies Lingering Talking Secretively
I’m Clairvoyant Expecting
Mayhem Erupting Life Taken Shamelessly
Ice
Melts
Nov 20, 2019
Nov 20, 2019 at 11:17 PM UTC