Brianna

Brianna Nov 2013

You're like my favorite flower...
I could look at you all day and you'd just get better each second.
You're like the rain on a sunny day...
It sounds so sad but it's the freshest break in summer.
You're the perfect memory; the one I'll never forget nor want to lose.
I could go on for days about your handsomeness and even your flaws and it still wouldn't be enough to describe....
How perfectly suited we are for each other or
How perfectly enamored with every single piece of you I am...

Brianna Nov 2013

Finally at ease

It felt something like falling off your bed in the middle of the night
You just wake up not quite sure what happened.
I woke up in the hospital.
They asked me if I knew where I was and what happened to me
I said I couldn't recall exactly what happened
But I thought I had an idea.
They said you tried to **** yourself again last night your roommate found you
She called 911 said there was a lot of blood
I guess I saw that coming.
It felt sort of like a dream I told the therapist later that week...
I felt like all the stress just vanished!
I was finally at peace.
He told me life was hard and it would only get harder and asked if I would do it again?
I wasn't sure how to answer him
Honestly, I probably would.

Brianna Nov 2013

What happened?

Simplicity* was never our strong suit... We fought all the time.
It was always over the little things-- the wrong dish detergent, laundry, life?
Couples fight, sure, and love was supposed to be able to heal that but what happens when love is not enough?
What happens when your heart leans in one direction and his already flew off to the other side of the country?
Timing* was never our thing... We always fell in love at the wrong time...
It was always a battle with you -- I didn't love you enough or you didn't love me and it was exhausting..
You were so exhausting.
Because you had to have things perfect right?
Like those fairytales... Except sweetie, you're not a prince and you've lost that charm.
I'm also not a princess and I make mistakes... I make them regularly..
And so I asked you, what happens when love isn't enough to heal this heartbreak?
*You walked away.

Brianna Nov 2013

Dancing Shoes

I'll meet you down by the water lets meet around two.
I'll bring some old records and you just bring your dancing shoes.
We can dress fancy and drink some old cheap wine.
Talk about the better days when we were happy all the time.
We can slow dance to old tunes laughing at words that aren't said anymore.
Then we can go home to sleep and I'll watch you, like a creep, hoping you don't snore.
In the morning I'll kiss you hoping you'll kiss me back...
And you'll put your finger though my hair while you kiss me and we'll restart that record from our favorite track.
The days will pass by just you and I.
And you ask that question that makes every girl cry...
And I'll meet you at the alter, wearing nothing but white...
I'll say I do as you hold my hand so tight.

Brianna Nov 2013

Dear supervisor,

The truth is...
I simply want to kiss you as hard
As passionate
As obscene
As I possibly can...
Just to see if there is any....
Connection.
The truth is....
I just want you to tell me
That you want to feel the same
Connection...

I like the supervisor at my work.
He's nice and cute and listens to ****** indie music that Is intriguing. But I can't tell him because he is a supervisor.
Ugh.

Brianna Nov 2013

Hipster Scumbag Awkward

It could have been the cigarette hanging from your perfect lips that have me goosebumps or it could have been your jet black hair slicked back in a pompadour style only hipster kids have these days... Not sure really but it sent shivers down my body.
You were the type of boy who liked to drink whiskey and had neck tattoos & I was the type of girl who was more awkward than a turtle.
You had this mystery about you under those dark sunglasses and you were so tall & sleek in that red flannel and black jeans... You were so ... hot
I had this problem where I would just stare until you looked over, which you did, and in turn I would look away blushing with shame.
I took one glance back as I started to walk away and saw you grinning this huge grin with your pearly white teeth and septum ring touching your upper lip.. Pretty sure my heart melted.
You were the guy I had dreamed about at night and I didn't even know your name of course.
Who was I kidding? We would never see each other again.

Brianna Nov 2013

Dancing around the Truth

I fell in love with the last drop of that bottle of wine you ... It was the nicest gift you ever gave me.
I fell in love with the boy I used to date right after you stopped talking to me... Or so I told you.. Truth is I have loved him all along...
You brought me down to my lowest point but now I'm bringing myself up alone.
See he didn't love me as much as I loved him and I didn't love you like you thought I did.
All those lies you told were just a great way to show me what an ******* I really am... Thanks for that!
And it's okay now.. Because it been a year since you & I talked and it's been since July since he and I talked and I guess... I guess I was just dancing around the truth.
You both were bad news... And I let my walls break with you guys... But now I'm getting them re built with more strength than before.
I am worth more than some ****** *** and a kiss in the morning.
I am worth more than false promises of marriage and happiness.
I am worth more than my self doubt tells me I am.
I guess I just want to say thanks to you both for showing me a few things I needed to know about my self.

Just about two boys who broke me down to my lowest point. Also trying to bring myself back to positive again...