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"scrooge" poems
Take a look At this decade's eternal light. Youth, beauty, happiness. In theory. Is that how it was for our parents? Top tags on this website #depression #suicide #heartbreak Are grandma's photo albums fairytales Or has something changed Without shame Unmarked blame Just a change Perseverance died At the doorstep of sarcastic self-deprecation, Cool-to-be-lame facades, Glorified depression, growing vines on glowing laptop walls With a generation, fetal position, ripped jeans and eyeliner, inside Self proclaimed **** If you say it first Those twisted lips of others Won't press on such a fresh wound And here we lose the metaphor Cut yourself So everyone else Is picking at scabs No one would hurt another Who hurts themselves Unless they're an *** So the words are silenced Are you stronger? Happier? Healthier? And so we can always be safe In our self loathing Until puppy eyes and perfect pictures Leave us hungry Hurt by the people who don't mind being ***** Gaining assets, stealing rights from under Our droopy dismal noses snapshot Caption: **** up, let down, repeat. Hate me. -politicians and companies will bash your head on rock bottom Looking up in disbelief at chemical burns from Big Mac's We'll look back down to pout about our pain. The only way to save ourselves? Perseverance Positivity Hope Though I conveyed none of those emotions in this poem. **** me. I'm a hypocrite. But my point still stands. Perhaps even stronger.
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Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 2:34 AM UTC
I'm Scared, Scarred, and Scrooge-like
I cannot feel the love thats there My Christmas failed Bleak ended All is fair No sherry cheer or party grape It's all inside The dreaded Hate The songs I love now rattle hard Slam the silence Breath out Loud The sheep I shout No more to care You hear me now Scrooge I am “Bah," said Scrooge, "Humbug.”
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Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 9:07 AM UTC
Scrooge
***Put on your yamaka, it's time for Hanukkah So much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah, Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights, Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights. But when you're the only kid in town without a Christmas tree, Heres a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me: David Lee Roth lights the menorah, So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli, Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli. Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too, Put them together--what a fine lookin’ Jew! [Esus] You dont need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish! [Esus] Put on your yamaka, its time for Hanukkah, The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ah celebrates Hanukkah. O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew! But guess who is...Hall of Famer—Rod Carew--(he converted!) We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby, Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby! Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is, Well, hes not, but guess who is: All three stooges. [Esus] So many Jews are in show biz-- Tom Cruise isn't, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [Esus] Tell your friend Veronica, its time to celebrate Hanukkah I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah. So drink your gin-a-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah, If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah……. HAPPY HANUKKAH!***
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Dec 15, 2012
Dec 15, 2012 at 10:35 PM UTC
HAPPY HANUKKAH! Adam ******* - Hanukkah Song Video
***Put on your yamaka, it's time for Hanukkah So much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah, Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights, Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights. But when you're the only kid in town without a Christmas tree, Heres a list of people who are Jewish, just like you and me: David Lee Roth lights the menorah, So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late Dinah Shore-ah Guess who eats together at the Carnegie Deli, Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur Fonzerrelli. Paul Newman's half Jewish; Goldie Hawn's half too, Put them together--what a fine lookin’ Jew! [Esus] You dont need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock Cause you can spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both Jewish! [Esus] Put on your yamaka, its time for Hanukkah, The owner of the Seattle Super Sonic-ah celebrates Hanukkah. O.J. Simpson-- not a Jew! But guess who is...Hall of Famer—Rod Carew--(he converted!) We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear Abby, Harrison Ford's a quarter Jewish--not too shabby! Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is, Well, hes not, but guess who is: All three stooges. [Esus] So many Jews are in show biz-- Tom Cruise isn't, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [Esus] Tell your friend Veronica, its time to celebrate Hanukkah I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely Hanukkah. So drink your gin-a-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah, If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah……. HAPPY HANUKKAH!***
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Christmas.... ugh Isn't this a perplexing situation? I have an interesting question... First, I know this poem is not perfection But does any one know what it's like To be utterly alone on what's supposed to be A most joyous day, surrounded by friends and family? That annoying cherubic man Won't be visiting my home It's just an idiotic holiday And no one cares I'll be alone No homemade Christmas dinner I might make myself a grade A steak I'll raise a toast to myself Nothing to boast about Probably just whiskey, bottom shelf I immense-ly hate Christmas Say I'm dense-ly, I don't care Been that way as long as I can remember From the makeshift tree, when I was three To being stuck homeless in a snow drift at sixteen I can count all the "merry Christmas's" I've received On one hand It's never been merry, or happy Most I got was engorged on stuffing And a poorly cooked, dried out Turkey No presents under the tree With a gift tag saying Melanie You know what? Sorry Quin, but this is too **** depressing... I quit... Tequila, Velveeta Distant, instant Solemn, Gollum Under-wear, I don't care Tiny, finely Flightless, loneliness Hindrance, appliance Backward, forward Orange, purge Rooftop, please stop Kringle, Pringles Ha! Invitations? No... Salutations...
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Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 10:29 PM UTC
I Guess I'm Scrooge This Year (Quin's Christmas Challenge)
It’s Christmas time, Santa Claus is here, I guess it’s just that time of year That fills everyone with glee, Everyone but me. I immediately regretted climbing out of bed When I feel the chill creeping up my neck. I just want to go back to sleep, Then some sanity I can keep. I slowly make my way toward the fireplace. But that’s when I see your face Because you always kept me warm. And sheltered from those winter storms. Everyone is asking me to make a list, If I could have anything that I wish, What would it be? I close my eyes and I see. Hawaii or Europe could be nice, At least they aren’t covered in this ice. Or maybe a new sweater, To hide myself from this weather. Avery wants a Barbie and Kayden wants it all, Ian wants legos, but I fear that they’re so small, He will probably lose them, so I guess that’s a waste, I just want to kiss away these unpleasant holidays. I could say I want a new car covered in ribbons and bows But if you want the truth, then here it goes. I want to go back this time last year where everything was right. Where I had the boy, I had the Dad, but a Mother? Well…not quite. Maybe that could be my other wish, A bonus on my gift list. I would do anything you need me to, Because Christmas isn’t the same without you. You didn’t have to be my father, Because I was another man’s daughter, But you pulled me in, and gave me your name, And when it came to your children, you treated me the same. Maybe I didn’t know my dad, But there was one special man that I had, And as I look out over this blasted snow, I realize that I can’t let you go. Mom part 2 might seem alright, But you should see how she is at night, Because the love of her life was taken away, A month ago from last Sunday. Daddy’s little girl, isn’t little anymore, And daddy isn’t here to kiss her little sores. Her heart is breaking because you’re gone. But life is supposed to go on. They asked me what I wanted And all I know is that this is true, **That Christmas time, isn’t Christmas time, If Christmas is missing you.**
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Dec 18, 2012
Dec 18, 2012 at 5:18 PM UTC
The New Scrooge
It’s Christmas time, Santa Claus is here, I guess it’s just that time of year That fills everyone with glee, Everyone but me. I immediately regretted climbing out of bed When I feel the chill creeping up my neck. I just want to go back to sleep, Then some sanity I can keep. I slowly make my way toward the fireplace. But that’s when I see your face Because you always kept me warm. And sheltered from those winter storms. Everyone is asking me to make a list, If I could have anything that I wish, What would it be? I close my eyes and I see. Hawaii or Europe could be nice, At least they aren’t covered in this ice. Or maybe a new sweater, To hide myself from this weather. Avery wants a Barbie and Kayden wants it all, Ian wants legos, but I fear that they’re so small, He will probably lose them, so I guess that’s a waste, I just want to kiss away these unpleasant holidays. I could say I want a new car covered in ribbons and bows But if you want the truth, then here it goes. I want to go back this time last year where everything was right. Where I had the boy, I had the Dad, but a Mother? Well…not quite. Maybe that could be my other wish, A bonus on my gift list. I would do anything you need me to, Because Christmas isn’t the same without you. You didn’t have to be my father, Because I was another man’s daughter, But you pulled me in, and gave me your name, And when it came to your children, you treated me the same. Maybe I didn’t know my dad, But there was one special man that I had, And as I look out over this blasted snow, I realize that I can’t let you go. Mom part 2 might seem alright, But you should see how she is at night, Because the love of her life was taken away, A month ago from last Sunday. Daddy’s little girl, isn’t little anymore, And daddy isn’t here to kiss her little sores. Her heart is breaking because you’re gone. But life is supposed to go on. They asked me what I wanted And all I know is that this is true, **That Christmas time, isn’t Christmas time, If Christmas is missing you.**
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O brother dwimalu! Why did you bring the white elephant? In the country of misfortune bodo race! One of the next one to the king Country attack in the feet of your own feet. How glad we had! You are in the country to increase! Like to give the flowers to god The king dwimal to give to the prize How much happiness was you The white elephant of burma country. But the knowledge of the bodo Knowledge in mud like a bath, Not to have mercy for the chief minister Tolerate can't be punished by the king! Not water to fire Not stick to elephant No gun molten to lead So much injustice did you finish! O brother dwimalu! Charlatan and scrooge Step up mother and then how to believe? But loved, had food for dinner!
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Dec 8, 2016
Dec 8, 2016 at 10:03 PM UTC
Jwhwlao Dwimalu
A foggy night on the streets of London A man full of bitterness and separation of boundaries It’s business details being the flow It’s the life of Ebenezer Scrooge being uncanny in go Having no respect for life Doesn’t even want any advice Scrooge’s business partner Marley who died years ago Mr. Scrooge’s curtain is a story in being certain As Ebenezer was asleep Mr. Marley’s spirit walks in his soul to keep Mr. Marley awoke Scrooge and caught him by surprise He wanted Ebenezer to arise Marley shouted, “Ebenezer Scrooge and open those eyes” As Scrooge awoke, he couldn’t believe it was Marley that spoke In fact, he thought it was one big joke Marley told Ebenezer tail and there would be three Ghost in his prevail It would be the spirit of the Past, Present and Future This sounded strange to Scrooge being peculiar As Scrooge’s sleep went on, the presence of the first ghost being ever so strong The wind that blow through the house and the voice that brought chills Yet Ebenezer was trying to have a cast iron will The spotlight was on Ebenezer being his still The Ghost was at the house where he belonged A Ghost of Christmas past of Scrooge’s previous beginnings Life as it was and leading to the present The thought on Scrooge’s business partner who died long ago Scrooge having no care but a future of beware The future having possibilities of Scrooge’s no more His life won’t have any remembrance to explore An open door with no floor Yet words hidden in the fog you can’t ignore The Ghost of Scrooge’s future to change his ways Otherwise a tombstone that will bear his name and what it will say “A man lays forgotten and dies being rotten” Suddenly Scrooge felt asleep, asleep asleep It was Christmas morning, and the sun was shining Bells were ringing and Scrooge opened his window A Young boy was passing by Scrooge was happy with tears in his eye Scrooge asked the boy, “What day is it”? It is Christmas Day Sir Scrooge quickly got dressed and went to Cracket’s house and gave a Christmas gift and Turkey He marveled at Tiny Tom Scrooge finally saw the true meaning of Christmas within himself Those three ghost were not like anybody else The Christmas bells were ringing and so was the caroling Scrooge being a man from when and a man with giving on can Snow starts to fall and it was Christmas with no stall The Londoner’s say Happy Holidays to all.
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Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 1:41 AM UTC
LONDON FOG
A foggy night on the streets of London A man full of bitterness and separation of boundaries It’s business details being the flow It’s the life of Ebenezer Scrooge being uncanny in go Having no respect for life Doesn’t even want any advice Scrooge’s business partner Marley who died years ago Mr. Scrooge’s curtain is a story in being certain As Ebenezer was asleep Mr. Marley’s spirit walks in his soul to keep Mr. Marley awoke Scrooge and caught him by surprise He wanted Ebenezer to arise Marley shouted, “Ebenezer Scrooge and open those eyes” As Scrooge awoke, he couldn’t believe it was Marley that spoke In fact, he thought it was one big joke Marley told Ebenezer tail and there would be three Ghost in his prevail It would be the spirit of the Past, Present and Future This sounded strange to Scrooge being peculiar As Scrooge’s sleep went on, the presence of the first ghost being ever so strong The wind that blow through the house and the voice that brought chills Yet Ebenezer was trying to have a cast iron will The spotlight was on Ebenezer being his still The Ghost was at the house where he belonged A Ghost of Christmas past of Scrooge’s previous beginnings Life as it was and leading to the present The thought on Scrooge’s business partner who died long ago Scrooge having no care but a future of beware The future having possibilities of Scrooge’s no more His life won’t have any remembrance to explore An open door with no floor Yet words hidden in the fog you can’t ignore The Ghost of Scrooge’s future to change his ways Otherwise a tombstone that will bear his name and what it will say “A man lays forgotten and dies being rotten” Suddenly Scrooge felt asleep, asleep asleep It was Christmas morning, and the sun was shining Bells were ringing and Scrooge opened his window A Young boy was passing by Scrooge was happy with tears in his eye Scrooge asked the boy, “What day is it”? It is Christmas Day Sir Scrooge quickly got dressed and went to Cracket’s house and gave a Christmas gift and Turkey He marveled at Tiny Tom Scrooge finally saw the true meaning of Christmas within himself Those three ghost were not like anybody else The Christmas bells were ringing and so was the caroling Scrooge being a man from when and a man with giving on can Snow starts to fall and it was Christmas with no stall The Londoner’s say Happy Holidays to all.
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When Mother Teresa Saw the Leaning Tower Of Pisa She Knew that Julius Caesar Would renew her visa. Eating curried pizza At a bar called Mitzvah With ex-scrooge Ebenezer And the Mona Lisa All three did concur That nothing defeats Or beats her.
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Jun 6, 2014
Jun 6, 2014 at 7:30 AM UTC
The Ever Triumphant Mother Teresa
I read some poems on here That would just be up his street Scrooge would love so much to read How you all deal with defeat Not everyone, mind you, you know Just those, we all ignore you know ...the suicidal ones who are in ***** upon the floor i got dumped and i just want to **** myself ...they say if you write it down on here, i guess you won't do it anyway Scrooge would love the way They talk of copulation He'd just sit back and say Then let them reduce the population They threaten to go off the rails Though, I think some might be done They talk of doing things, slowly Have they not heard of a gun ? Scrooge would love the way they cry When they don't get their own way He'd be hooked on this, because you find Five hundred...every day He'd suggest we re-institute The mills and the poor houses So, he would have to listen to The stories of these louses A topic of importance would be Something, he would write of money, pestilance and then he'd say...GOOD NIGHT
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Oct 20, 2014
Oct 20, 2014 at 11:48 AM UTC
Scrooge would love...
A Bizarre Czar You can call me the Grinch, stealing Christmas was such a cinch. Went to Whoville, and stole the toys, crying was all the little girls and boys. You can call me Ebenezer Scrooge, my bank account and ***** is very huge. Bah humbug to all you poor people, if you only could see the size of my steeple. I am mean, I am vicious, unlike you I'm very ambitious. I'll take your home, I'll take your car, make your payments or I'll leave a scar. Some call me the new ****** but I'm stronger and much bigger. I love to see chaos and destruction, pretty soon, I wont need an introduction. I'm a genius, who is insane, I cause suffering, I cause pain. All of you, are so far beneath, too rule the world is my belief. I rule the north, I rule the south, don't you dare open your mouth. I rule the west, I rule the east, I used to be a catholic priest. Before I take over this pathetic world, a thousand pounds I once curled. Don't you dare give me a reason, especially during the baseball season. Before I take everyone as my prisoner, I need your consent with a signature. Be prepared to be my slave, I have become the latest rave. People follow just like fools, I take their money and their jewels. I'm the leader of a new cult, death to you all will be the result.
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Sep 27, 2013
Sep 27, 2013 at 2:09 PM UTC
A Bizarre Czar
Santa was a scrooge with presents last year He only put a walnut in my Christmas bag of cheer A letter of disappointment I sent to him Asking him why on my presents did he skim He never got back to me with a reply I have discovered that Santa is a very stingy guy Apparently he couldn't afford a postage stamp To put on a letter addressed to my camp A little peeved I am with Santa this year He'll be spending few pennies on my Christmas cheer I have given up on sending request to him As he so likes making my Yule Tide Season so grim
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Apr 13, 2013
Apr 13, 2013 at 9:33 PM UTC
Yule Tide Season So Grim (Humorous Poem)
There was a time, A year into the future, when we used to frolic and dance in the sand. Usually, I don't like beaches, I hate large crowds, Hate 'em hate 'em and I will 'till pigs fly. Sometimes I think I'm not like the others even though I desperately wish to be. I'd like to donate my shoe collection to the Salvation Army, or Goodwill, for them to be put to better use instead of sitting unused surrounded by crumpled tissues and overdue books. Or I could build a time capsule to be opened the next century. Hopefully the future Ebenezer Scrooge finds the Ghost of Frolicking Past and actually learns to enjoy beaches.
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Oct 1, 2014
Oct 1, 2014 at 6:11 PM UTC
Frolicking
Even a scrooge, In his castle keep, A lone fire burning While he drifts out to sleep, Once wondered In fright, Amid the sundering night, If he was worthy Of either judgement or bribe.
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Dec 24, 2013
Dec 24, 2013 at 8:58 AM UTC
Yule
Back in the days when my friend Grisham John started as a teenage artist,  he was poor and had but onions and yogurt for meals; and once he stole some paint from the local corner shop "Aha, caught you red-handed," said the cliche-infested store-owner *"Give me a reason why I should not call the police"* "Well," said John Grisham cock-sure of his talent *"I can immortalize you as 'Scrooge in Red' or 'Generosity in Psychedelic' You choose..."* --------------------------------------------------------- so when Grisham John comes to your town,  look out for, amongst his exhibits: *"Generosity in Psychedelic with inset of Scrooge in Red"*
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Sep 9, 2014
Sep 9, 2014 at 4:09 AM UTC
Grisham John stole paint
I am called a scrooge as I dislike this greedy grimy "holiday" of gorging gratuitously on cookies dipped in mashed potatoes. People grabbing & gouging for electronic pop culture distractions to celebrate the "birth" of a baby from a lady who claimed to be a ****** Everyone expects something to be given, pressure permeates those souls who wait 'till last minutes eve as laborers looking for reprieves of this audacious onslaught of wild eyed drooling consumers while I shutter at home watching TV's screaming *Why wait 'till the "holidays" when you could have gotten that anytime?* Kids with detailed lists of wants make parents feel like **** if the money's not there-- traveling to visit relatives the family cares little about while everyone sends fake happy cards espousing happy scenes of fireside matching sweaters next to a tree cut from outside brought in-- a metaphor for the biannual church families dressed up to sing hymns and drink wine. So you can call me a scrooge, or even a grinch, I don't really give a **** cause I've been giving gifts consistently loving thy fellow man.
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Dec 24, 2011
Dec 24, 2011 at 2:27 PM UTC
Grinch Christmas **** You
What does Christmas mean to you? Lots of parties, things to do Presents to buy,friends to see Got to get a Christmas tree The lights are up, the decorations Excitement grows, anticipation The turkey's stuffed, ready to go If we're lucky we may see snow Get caught up in the Christmas mood If you don't you're Mr Scrooge Flash the card, splash some cash Don't turn up drunk for midnight mass But let's go back to days of yore When our god was nature in the raw A Pagan celebration there we find A twelve day feasting known as Yuletide Times have changed but traditions survive In a slightly different guise We'll follow suit and do just that Like the druid and the bishop We'll put on our Santa hat.
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Dec 11, 2011
Dec 11, 2011 at 9:22 AM UTC
The Christmas Hijack
Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Urggg yrgggg yrgggg urggg, the songs are like a clogged bell streaming depressive used sounds Hymns of abused commercialisation As an excuse of mixed celebrations Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Urggg yrgggg yrgggg urggg, you remain dead for long time ago when my heart changed into stone and my dance a faded fortification in opened doors of the unreached Christmas, Christmas,Christmas Urggg yrgggg yrgggg urggg, a season where enemies embrace with a tint of lost meshed generosity That flavoured distasteful laughter Coated with silvery decorations Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Urggg, yrgggg yrgggg urggg, a shaw of the dying tower blocks Overlooking hunger and troubled war that height of starry driven nights Casting shadows to the chilled earth Christmas, Christmas, Christmas Urgg, yrgggg yrgggg urggg, The trees are felled to make cards with anthems of a failed system the tide of the recycled messages of happy tidings, fill the bellies ehhh
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Dec 24, 2016
Dec 24, 2016 at 1:17 AM UTC
Urgggh Christmas! (The Scrooge Version)
From the bottom of the broken heart from those forced to go on workstart from the one parent child from the meek and the mild and the refugees from across the seas who sleep on the street from them poor souls who can't make ends meet from the old and the sick or the lonely at home, take your pick. They all wish Iain Duncan Smith a very merry Christmas.
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Dec 22, 2015
Dec 22, 2015 at 8:36 AM UTC
Happy Christmas Scrooge.
1 you come home and there's bill (not your friend but the bill from your internet provider) for your cellphone and such you read your bill and your son has to call up the ambulance, further increasing your bill 2 your 16-year-old daughter tells you: *"I've got news; good or bad depends on how you look at it: I'm 4-months pregnant - and before you ask me - I ******* don't know who"* 3 Your grandpa comes back with his I-just-met-her girlfriend and she tells you to move out and stop sponging on an old man Your grandpa nods in admiration and says: *"Good on you, girl I never had the heart to tell him that"* 4 The chicken you had for dinner at the restaurant (and enjoying which you went "ooh-wow") was actually snake meat topped with dog paws and ears 5 The kid you turned away in your Scrooge mood with no treat at the door stands now at 2 am beside your bed with his head in his hands
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Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 7:24 AM UTC
5 halloween frights for adults
Winter is here, there is nowhere to go. I'd light up me blunt, but it'd be covered in snow. All I need is a cup of hot chocolate to hold. Me hate winter, me hate de cold. Wanna hook up wit a baety? Just wanna slay her? Too bad mon, she's wearing layer upon layer. Booking a flight for Jamaica, but they've all been sold. Me hate winter, me hate de cold. Hit up me bradda's garage to jam out. I knock on de door, he'll be there, no doubt. He's taking forever. Longer den I can withhold. Me hate winter, me hate de cold. I'm sick of dis season, it's simply the worst Only a sip of hot cocoa will quench me thirst. Dis is da coldest story that's ever been told. Me hate winter, me hate de cold. Sit back in my lounge chair like Scrooge McDuck. Reluctant to go out, cuz it's cold as **** I nag and complain, am I just gettin' old? Me hate winter, me hate de cold.
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Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 6:12 PM UTC
De Cold
A lack of presence left the blind poet saltier than Scrooge. He drowns in ink clutching the hand of his past. Transparent with an iron grip he'll never let go. The grip of the pen finally has him feeling life between his legs. Straddling his fears being on top makes him feel complete. Atop Mt. Olympus the high feels more noble opposing the mere mortals. Romanticism is the seed he sows into the ground. Sprouting a tree tall that none can climb. He looks out his window marveling at his roots. The poor fool will never learn. Through this frame he is destined to brood. Alone he will fantasize his next epic. Rather creating it.
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Jan 20, 2014
Jan 20, 2014 at 2:29 PM UTC
Death to the Poet
tis time said the elf in my ear tis my time of year unpack the baubles the lights, tinsel and gear the merryest of merry times is near said I to the elf get back on tne shelf nay get back in that box good gosh and begorrah calm down your striped socks it is five in the a.m. December the 1st said the elf, in my ear I know the time I let you sleep a whole four hours and 59 nine minutes over the strike of my first happy day so now get your great *** into gear this is the only time  I see the otherside of the box after months locked down so get it together mother dear hang the lights and let them twinkle place the tree and smell the pine needles and the faint odour of cat ****** watch them as they shed hang the baubles that sit differently to how they looked in your head throw tinsel at that sucker till it glows and shimmers knowing that stuff gets every where even  into the cats stomach and bed bring on the cheer ,bring on the glee bring out the angels, the santas, and me start buying presents and wrapping  them furtively have the discussions about what to buy for those less near buy the cheap and nasty,  or the  credit card dear buy the simple or make the  stuff or simply divert payments to next year as if we mostly don't have more than enough remember those gone and those left behind keep them close to heart and to mind think of those with out resource or recourse make some adjustments in order to be kind and give away joy to  some you don't know could well become their reason to stay ...not go come on said the elf it is time we began got to get ready, spread a little love accross your patch of this land, don't be a grinch, a scrooge or sadsack,  you gotta have the big jolly-mans  back and while we are here conversing and such remember  the reason for all this fuss, doesn't matter, the religon, the caste or the creed.. as this time approaches take moments to reflect upon this years closing and hope with joy and no fear for love to conquer all in the future year said  I to the elf yammering away in my ear well said  young  chap time to get on my good cheer
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Dec 4, 2018
Dec 4, 2018 at 4:09 PM UTC
elf talkin' here
tis time said the elf in my ear tis my time of year unpack the baubles the lights, tinsel and gear the merryest of merry times is near said I to the elf get back on tne shelf nay get back in that box good gosh and begorrah calm down your striped socks it is five in the a.m. December the 1st said the elf, in my ear I know the time I let you sleep a whole four hours and 59 nine minutes over the strike of my first happy day so now get your great *** into gear this is the only time  I see the otherside of the box after months locked down so get it together mother dear hang the lights and let them twinkle place the tree and smell the pine needles and the faint odour of cat ****** watch them as they shed hang the baubles that sit differently to how they looked in your head throw tinsel at that sucker till it glows and shimmers knowing that stuff gets every where even  into the cats stomach and bed bring on the cheer ,bring on the glee bring out the angels, the santas, and me start buying presents and wrapping  them furtively have the discussions about what to buy for those less near buy the cheap and nasty,  or the  credit card dear buy the simple or make the  stuff or simply divert payments to next year as if we mostly don't have more than enough remember those gone and those left behind keep them close to heart and to mind think of those with out resource or recourse make some adjustments in order to be kind and give away joy to  some you don't know could well become their reason to stay ...not go come on said the elf it is time we began got to get ready, spread a little love accross your patch of this land, don't be a grinch, a scrooge or sadsack,  you gotta have the big jolly-mans  back and while we are here conversing and such remember  the reason for all this fuss, doesn't matter, the religon, the caste or the creed.. as this time approaches take moments to reflect upon this years closing and hope with joy and no fear for love to conquer all in the future year said  I to the elf yammering away in my ear well said  young  chap time to get on my good cheer
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it's 2.32am and i'm sitting alone in my room cramming advert notes into my brain for the exam barely 12 hours away i can't remember anything, but it doesn't matter. i'll cram anyway, since it's the only thing i can do now i've cracked open a fresh can of redbull for this **** and i'll take it one step at a time the raw panic when i thought about having to remodule was stark and completely gripping just a couple of hours ago now, i have reached this zen-like calm and i'm not quite sure whether to be worried that i'm being distracted by the thin girls i see on tumblr my stomach growls. i ignore it. it's far too late to eat. the can of redbull i'm having is already 159.75 calories 159.75 calories too many i have never been good with numbers, i once scored 0/65 for a math test 2 months before my gce o levels but for this, i will count i will count like how ebenezer scrooge did. with great precision and scrutiny i was never good enough for you. i never will be. but if there's something i can control in my life, i will make it this less is more, and i, will always be too much.
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Aug 26, 2015
Aug 26, 2015 at 2:42 PM UTC
numbers
T'was the night before Christmas The kids were in bed Dreaming of Santa All dressed up in red The wife was upstairs Wrapping gifts in our room I was watching old Scrooge In old London gloom when out of the blue there was a knock at the door I leapt from the couch and i slipped on the floor i answered the knock i still got there quick and to my surprise there stood St. Nick "Please, sir I pray" "may I enter through here" "My stomach is churning" "an explosion is near" I pointed the way first door on the right Santa went off To relieve himself right My wife came downstairs She asked 'bout the knock I said go upstairs She'd think my tale was a crock The bathroom door opened Santa came out Then he told me the tale Of what this all was about "All of these houses" "with warm milk and cookies" "get my gut growling" "like a room full of wookies" "Soy, two percent" "almond and skim" "all mixed together" "the result is quite grim" "It started to churn" "and I was getting quite frantic" "I was just coming in" "from above the Atlantic" "Most years it's fine" "But, this soy...never try it" "it should really be banned" "not put in one's diet" "Do you mind if I sit" "for a while just in case" "I've got more houses to hit" "And it will be a race" My wife stood quite still In fact she'd not said a word Imagine your toliet downstairs Home to dear Santa's **** I offered a drink Something to settle him down He said thanks, but begged off And he gave a slight frown "I've got to get going" "Time stops just so long" "Thanks for your help" "It could have all gone so wrong" He filled up our stockings He called his reindeer by name "I'll bypass the chimney and I'll leave as I came" I looked at my wife We both said "oh well" I mean when you take it all in Just who could we tell? So, in future please listen take a second and think It could end up quite bad don't leave him soy milk to drink
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Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 10:20 PM UTC
santa's situation
T'was the night before Christmas The kids were in bed Dreaming of Santa All dressed up in red The wife was upstairs Wrapping gifts in our room I was watching old Scrooge In old London gloom when out of the blue there was a knock at the door I leapt from the couch and i slipped on the floor i answered the knock i still got there quick and to my surprise there stood St. Nick "Please, sir I pray" "may I enter through here" "My stomach is churning" "an explosion is near" I pointed the way first door on the right Santa went off To relieve himself right My wife came downstairs She asked 'bout the knock I said go upstairs She'd think my tale was a crock The bathroom door opened Santa came out Then he told me the tale Of what this all was about "All of these houses" "with warm milk and cookies" "get my gut growling" "like a room full of wookies" "Soy, two percent" "almond and skim" "all mixed together" "the result is quite grim" "It started to churn" "and I was getting quite frantic" "I was just coming in" "from above the Atlantic" "Most years it's fine" "But, this soy...never try it" "it should really be banned" "not put in one's diet" "Do you mind if I sit" "for a while just in case" "I've got more houses to hit" "And it will be a race" My wife stood quite still In fact she'd not said a word Imagine your toliet downstairs Home to dear Santa's **** I offered a drink Something to settle him down He said thanks, but begged off And he gave a slight frown "I've got to get going" "Time stops just so long" "Thanks for your help" "It could have all gone so wrong" He filled up our stockings He called his reindeer by name "I'll bypass the chimney and I'll leave as I came" I looked at my wife We both said "oh well" I mean when you take it all in Just who could we tell? So, in future please listen take a second and think It could end up quite bad don't leave him soy milk to drink
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Talk to me, talk to me of Old St. Nick Talk to me of Sinterclaus Of Mikulas, Pere Noel, or Babbo Natale Talk to me of candles, christingle and a silent night Talk to me of crackers, carols and calamities Talk to me of snow, sleighs, and stars Talk to me of Christmas cards, wrapping paper Talk to me of gold, old spice and mice Talk to me of icing, icicles igloos, ivy Holly Oh sweet Hollie Tots of Drambuie Marmalade and toast Talk to me of Philip Scholfield Carols From Kings Mary Poppins Scrooge Festive films Radio Times And things that are too pretty Lights, nights Hark, Dark barking dogs tinsel Tinsel Town Wolves at the door Salvation Army playing once more Talk to me Talk to me Cream Crackers, cheese Frosty mornings, old knees Talk to me of snow covered alpine forests Gateaux Cherries walnuts and berries Festive fun, A seasonal run Of All Gold telly With a full belly Farts, sprouts Turkey that tastes just like chicken Oh talk to me of Terry Wogan Rosh Jogan Grogan Josh Last minute deals Black Friday White Friday And all the Cyber Mondays Talk to me of Happy Mondays Dancing Bez In a Festive Fez Talk to me Talk to me Of Festive time Late nights Early mornings Beer Cheer All in entertainment Oh talk, TALK to me Of hangovers, sleep overs gloves mittens and cute kittens Oh talk to me of fake Chanel Faux Fur and underwear Celvin Klein Talk to me , Talk to me of Jonah Lewie Bony M The Pogues and all those rogues Fairy tale of New York Stop the Cavalry Mary's Boy Child And the Spaceman who came riding by Oh talk, Talk , Talk to me of places, and spaces We all know Christmas markets Tesco, Aldi and John Lewis Adverts showing Christmas is coming Christmas is coming Christmas is coming Chris Oh talk to me Oh talk to me of old St. Nick Talk to me Talk to me Eggnog Talk to me Talk to me Bah humbug Talk to me Talk to me Happy Christmas
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Dec 19, 2019
Dec 19, 2019 at 4:54 PM UTC
Ode to St. Nick
Talk to me, talk to me of Old St. Nick Talk to me of Sinterclaus Of Mikulas, Pere Noel, or Babbo Natale Talk to me of candles, christingle and a silent night Talk to me of crackers, carols and calamities Talk to me of snow, sleighs, and stars Talk to me of Christmas cards, wrapping paper Talk to me of gold, old spice and mice Talk to me of icing, icicles igloos, ivy Holly Oh sweet Hollie Tots of Drambuie Marmalade and toast Talk to me of Philip Scholfield Carols From Kings Mary Poppins Scrooge Festive films Radio Times And things that are too pretty Lights, nights Hark, Dark barking dogs tinsel Tinsel Town Wolves at the door Salvation Army playing once more Talk to me Talk to me Cream Crackers, cheese Frosty mornings, old knees Talk to me of snow covered alpine forests Gateaux Cherries walnuts and berries Festive fun, A seasonal run Of All Gold telly With a full belly Farts, sprouts Turkey that tastes just like chicken Oh talk to me of Terry Wogan Rosh Jogan Grogan Josh Last minute deals Black Friday White Friday And all the Cyber Mondays Talk to me of Happy Mondays Dancing Bez In a Festive Fez Talk to me Talk to me Of Festive time Late nights Early mornings Beer Cheer All in entertainment Oh talk, TALK to me Of hangovers, sleep overs gloves mittens and cute kittens Oh talk to me of fake Chanel Faux Fur and underwear Celvin Klein Talk to me , Talk to me of Jonah Lewie Bony M The Pogues and all those rogues Fairy tale of New York Stop the Cavalry Mary's Boy Child And the Spaceman who came riding by Oh talk, Talk , Talk to me of places, and spaces We all know Christmas markets Tesco, Aldi and John Lewis Adverts showing Christmas is coming Christmas is coming Christmas is coming Chris Oh talk to me Oh talk to me of old St. Nick Talk to me Talk to me Eggnog Talk to me Talk to me Bah humbug Talk to me Talk to me Happy Christmas
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