Late this evening.
When words are so healing.
My head is connecting.
With you I'm still texting.
My eyes are slowly closing.
My mind feels so relaxing.
I'm tired from not
enough sleeping.
Trying to comfort my
steady breathing.
Almost asleep.
Wish you pleasent dreaming.

Everything about cycles is picturesque.
That's because everything repeats,
And yet
Is never the same.

I love my ****** catty sundays.
Sundays are often bad,
Cause sometimes I want to **** myself
(Or **** them all)

But somehow a quiet afternoon
With the company of cats
(And cats only)
Can feel very pleasent.

And the week ends
And the weekends
Are not always that bad.
Thanks to my cats!

Where are you headed the road and the future will tell there was truly promise in the air what a
Harvest was indicated the raw frontier lay behind some thirty to forty years an era was casting
Its first tender endearing images onto the landscape radio was the rage but it would be
Supplanted by vision stories would flow into living rooms dreamlike worlds would be presented
On demand the Congo and its fever pitch would be told through savage drums big city and
Small Time America would vive for time and all would be the portent of a country coming of age
And its greatest strength was its innocents love songs would mold our thoughts the older
Generation Seemed to stand with their arms spread out saying take us the rest of the way the
Boogie was Made more marvelous by a faster beat and the content was vamped up by the
Yearning Fulfillment of young love the age was a grooving sound that collectively had glory
Rolled up into Blue suede shoes and a whole lot of shaking going on it was the past and future
At an Intersection like no other the theme was ease hard mean living bowed in gentle dales it
Was the sloping a falling into pleasure that held magical aspects like strolling hand in hand
Down main street with the glowing shop lights greeting you with the feel of what wondrous
Times these are everyone was in this sensational drift a mood that was all consuming it was a
Purring hum that spoke in intimate detail of a way of life that was for a brief time the capture of
Quaintness the streets were filled with chrome and gleaming lines on cars that were spectacles
Of grace and beauty and everyone was caught up in the sensation and was youthful enough to
Exploit it fully without reserve laughter was a marvel that was uncommon it was a time just
Before wealth would rise as a tide but little was like a sacred deed and trust you never behaved
Badly thankfulness way the key in that time it’s funny now with everything no one is thankful
But are really more hateful more distracted distant the problem things have been placed above
Human worth there isn’t love or its accompanying payoff you have a society with so much but
The grand and beautiful is missing while people only get sadder and more lonely we took our
Hearts on a treacherous detour from the high ground to the low estate of rancor because we
Stopped believing in the preciousness of others and sought it in things what deadness that has
Brought

We've got bagpipes and buskers,
cannons, and clip.
Lots of marijuana, and tons of tall ships.
Plenty of seafood, and point pleasent park.
It looks pretty lame, until the streets become dark.
Weve got the Citadel hill, and pavilion kids.
lockups, and lockdown. All things that we did.
Plenty of days, where we fell on our *** ,
smokin dope in the glade, and layin on grass.
With colt 45, and 151.
Alexander keiths, and malibou ***.
Weve all jumped a fence, and swam chocolate lake.
No other province could handle the risks that we take.
Cause were crazy,obviously, were maritimers.
Dartmouth, and spryfeild.. Hell, our schools are the worst.
But its halifax, Nova scotia.
We do it our way.
Live like the east coast,
Cause i do everyday.

my  poor little dog he couldnt hear a thing
he was very deaf all heard was ring
but if you threw a stick he could plainly see
he would pick it up and bring it back to me
i couldnt call his name it would be no good
it would be like talking to a piece of wood
i took him to the vet to ask him  for advice
he was very pleasent and also very nice
to my little dog he seemed to take a shine
then he moved his fingers and began to make a sign
my doggy seemed to know what he had to say
just by making signs he could hear me everyday.
now i can spell his name and he can come to me
just by making signs that he can plainly see.

Mali the tabby was out for stroll, the evening sun was easing down and her whiskas biscuits were gone from her tummy, at least enough for her to feel like some activity was justified.
The meadow over the big wall smelled good, flowers and warmth and enough life flying around to interest a playful hunter, she mused to herself.
Up! Over the wall in a single fluid action, unaware how perfect she always flowed, like oil on marble.
Into the wee forest, tall flowers, watch the stingy plants, rub her cheeks on the sweet ones to stake her claim, then off to butterflies and fun!
Wait though, what is this smell?
Warm and young, hmm.. her instincts kicking in, she crept belly-flat to the source of the scent. Something like a wee rabbit, those yucky things! This was different,  this was small and alone, and still in a grass hollow.
She quietly put her graceful neck out, and opened her mouth to grasp and taste,
but leapt back as a shadow fell beside her, and she jumped again as a touch was upon her head. She struck quickly, but only got air and grass.
Breathing hard she reversed till she saw her challenger, something like her human, but tiny, with a bright silver thing in her hand and.....wings?...

Mali here I stand with you
in this field beneath the blue
I feel your huntress heart inside
but if you leap I will not hide
Take a mouse or take a rat
chase a rabbit brown and fat
but if you try to hurt my hare
you had better take some care
I guard them with my fairy kind
the young ones here for me to mind
and to you in this pleasent field
I promise you I will not yield
The hares are age old fairy friends
and to the last we will defend
so Mali think on this a while
make a choice and make me smile

Mali thought for a wee while, washing her mouth, watching this wee creature from under her half-closed eyelids. So, this was a fairy...well she smelled nice, and reninded her off her little human children who loved to play. Hmmm...

I'm sorry that I came to fast
with thought of food a sweet repast
now here I see you small and strong
to fight you would be hard and long
so let us make a pact today
in this field you let me play
we can learn to always share
the meadow fairy cat and hare
what duty hares have done for you
I cannot guess but hold it true
that when you claim to hold them dear
I shall repect them always here

Leipsha the wee fairy took her turn to think, she knew the cat was honest, all tabbies tell the truth and this one smelt kind for a cat..

Come then now we have a deal
but think we need something to seal
our words of grace we swapped today
and cats of all the creatures play
So follow me across the hill
we will have a chase and thrill
meet the hares and watch them run
race them and enjoy the fun

So when in the lowland meadow you see
hares and tabby cat running free
squint and look close all around
for a fairy is guarding them on the ground

Many houses have been cleaned on ***** window routes
Terraced rows and bungelows and other glass recruits
Customers of differant types some casual, some suits
Pleasent ones and lovely ones, some of them fun hoots

One window shined, revealed behind someones bathroom door
An awful sight giving us a fright, more than we bargained for
We went to clean it was abscene, that horrible thing we saw
Showing his snake was it a mistake, or was he just a *****

Every time we went to clean situations would get worse
We didn't want to catch a glimps, of his ****** immerse
A naked burden it bacame, why was he so perverse
***** windows should remain to conceal that bathroom curse

The anxiousness we both felt, how low he always sank
Unwanted sightings of body flesh and yanking on his plank
Disgusting ways of a deprived mind, so very dark and dank
***** windows are one thing, but not when you ******* ****

We did not want to ascend, with each ladder run to climb
knowing what awaited us we didn't want to see his slime
That bathroom window was regular, he did it every time
His kind of antics should be re-classed as a life of grime

We're not interested in plonker pulling a real discusting stunt
Nakedness we don't want to see, or a nasty shiveled front
Your ***** windows are to much so we will both be blunt
Keep your wanking to yourself and ******* your ***** ****

We don't care how many times, or how much you try
There is no necessitation to see your small **** eye
Confess your sins and tell your wife and don't you effing lie
That you've been bathroom wanking and flashing your cream pie

We told him we're not cleaning, when he dosent wear a stitch
And because he had to ******* **** and treat us like his *****
We're not your pleasure ******, when you've got that certain itch
Your ***** windows we wont clean when your mind is in a ditch

It's time us girls said goodbye you've made us ******* cross
Window cleaners we may be but your not our wanking boss
So now we're gone and you know why, my friend it's adios
And all because you had to flash and have a bathroom toss

Once a happy thought gets started,
you can't help but feel warm-hearted.
Spreading through your viens,
where the happiness reigns.

Little moments make life big,
keeping those moment cherished
and making sure none will be perished
you'll think back again when your big.

Recall those pleasent moments,
that was cherished for a time like this.
Sometimes you might wish,
to go back  and live those wonderful memories.

Love is not a singularity
It is a whole
One cannot extract a part
Or worship only one piece
It must be accepted as a whole
One cannot only enjoy the soft warm places of love
The pleasent corners and pools
The weak seams that easily split
The lose threads that unravel with the slightest mistreatment
It takes great and delicate strength to walk its halls
Love is complex
And beautiful
It has hidden shadows and dark nights
It cries to the moon and begs for the sun
And it comforts them both in turn
Love is filled with dreams and hope
Longing and doubt
Wishes and tranquilty
Torment and viciousness
It resides in both angel and beast
Heaven and hell
And earth
In the tears of god
And the blood of the devil
One cannot claim it as there own
One cannot truely love any other person
Before loving them all
One cannot give love
Without giving themselves
First to love
Love is of our time
Our blood
Our soul
Treat it well
As you treat others well
Give your all to love
And give all your love
To those in need
Life and love
Though never perfect
Are always
Beautiful

Once I'm thinking about
Safest place of the world
As we generally presume
It's mother's womb
But,thinking over it
For a while
I realised
It's not too safe
Now-a-days
So,where is the place?
Again,I dive into deep thoughts
And,ultimately I eureka
It's mother's lap
The most pleasent place
  "    real life heaven
May be alive or after life
But,it's the place
Even,heaven can't replace-Written on 04.10.2012

Don't remember
The last December
I had
That was ominously pleasant
Some people
Never had a pleasent
December
Some just had
Heartache and misery
As their wrapped up present
Nowhere near as bright as the waning crescent
Technically the exact opposite
The wrong side of the fence
Watching pain commence
Is not what we wanted
Ever in this unexpected life.

You know what hurts the most?

Our insignificance.

We are the universes joke, it's plaything.

Death is it's ultimate sick joy. Denying us a choice.
Denying us the ability to understand.

Our bodies are frail and filled with the potential for agony.
We have no control over our nature, our emotions, our thoughts.
Even our own free-will is riddled with holes, a joke, a farce.

If you think you are in control, you are deluded. If you believe you have any real choice your a fool.

If you believe you know the truth, your a liar. If you have faith in something better, your an idiot.

The universe is hostile. It is not your friend.

The only reason joy exists, is so the universe can strip if from you, and replace it with agony.

When you die, everything you are, and everything you know will likely cease. Even if there is something after death, what makes you think it's pleasent?
We have no choice over what happens to us. We might be reborn over and over for eternity, with no control, or choice over what happens to us,
An eternity of choice-less agony, with no chance for release, rest, or real happiness.

You all believe life is a gift, A gift of what?
Agony? Pain? Misery? Defeat? Life is a sick cruel joke, over which you have no control.

If life was fair, kind or benevolent in any way, we would have a painless off switch, an opt out option.

The hilarious part is, you all know everything I have written is the truth, and it's so utterly terrifying and painful, that your mind will force you to deny it.

Even suicide is painful beyond imagining. Physically, and emotionally and mentally.

Life is not even kind enough to make leaving a better option.

You
You made me feel what it is like,
to be hurt,
to be hurt so bad,
I thought that I was going to die,
You made me feel like I had been stabbed,
I felt like I had been stabbed in the stomach
Where you knew that there would be no hope,
no hope for recovery,
or for life.
And you enjoyed it
Enjoyed my pain,
and my suffering

You made me feel what it was like to long,
to long for peace,
to long to see any one but you,
yet long to see you everyday at the same time.

You made me feel what it was like to need,
to need to get away from you,
but also need to be with you.

You were like the sun,
warm and pleasent,
yet cold and out of reach,
I needed you to go on,
but you shined in my eyes blinding me,
blinding me to you motive,
to break my heart,

I was your icicle,
you melted me little my little in the beggining,
but then made me freeze up.

You were the bull,
and I was your matador
I evaded you for a while,
and then tired,
letting my guard down
and you hit me,
you hit me so har
I flew backwards
hitting the fans in the grand stands.
I was dazed for a while,
and then got angery,
I took revenge on you,
but you won again,
I was hurt,
and always will be.

We who have lived solemn lives,
Live again as to die,
Without a heartache or a pleasent stream,
To slowly guide a sullen dream,

Wish for me as days go by,
To live a life without the lies,
Of societal youth,
Democratic fields of,
Constant burning fires,

Reckless cares,
Desires and fears,
That destroy the animal paws,

The guilded nighttime,
Barren and cold doth he tell,
Will vile and such the skinless will

you helped raise us
no other woman can hold
a higher place in my heart
full of southern pride
you never held your tongue
or seemed to be shy
stating how you felt
it needed to be said
so you pay no mind
grizzly glue
you were our strongest bond
kept us all in line
fed us and held
your children when we cried
its hard to believe
such an unstoppable force
can leave us so fast
with no warning
and it hurts my soul
not having you here
physically to comfort
this wild and crazy family
selfish and greedy
thank GOD for your lesson
of being pleasent to them
no matter how bad the deed
yes ma'am i watched
took notes for my son
and for whomever will listen
2 years you've been gone
every second i spent
hiding the pain of you
not being with me
to hug and kiss
cook food and watch Jeopardy
your corner looks bare
i still feel you there
layin where your lap would be
you rubbing my head
made life worth living
troubles evaporated
my sorrows disintegrated
happiness roamed free while
i was in your castle
Long Live My Queen
now that your gone
your fortress is no more
i dont feel as secure
being bombarded by
boulders of depression
that let in the rain
precipitation in the form of
life's defects you shielded me from
our worst fears
lizards and hate
engulf your once pure living space
the weakest of your children
let your virtues fall
on deaf ears and blind eyes
but not me Madear
ill forever promise to stay
as strong as Hercules
and Samson everyday
just like you were
my grandmother
the indestructable MARTHA MAE

numb to reality
trying to defy mortality
you just sit around and wait
like a lost cause
banging at the gate
depending on fate
that against all odds
you'll get a message from your false gods
and rise from the dust
forgetting the difference
between ambition
and lust
hoping to embark on a mission
unaware that it'll be defficient without trust
so go with the flow
surrender all that you know
bend with the status quo
or bust
wait no
break out of this vicious cycle
in order to leave
you must understand
whats at hand
disband
from your troops
come to realize that what your fighting for
is a lost cause
behind a closed door
you cry out for more
living for the sensation
its reality that you abhore
stand still
filter your thoughts
distill
stay focused
on this hocus pocus
dont let the walls break
or out the truth will pour
to mix with your recognition
distorting fiction
creating contradiction
friction
a cure to your addiction
between you and yourself
you eagerly welcome
input from anyone else
all that you've become
is shaped from someone
with the worst intentions
you against the world
you can taste the tension
but your taste buds have the day off
so does your comprehension
its paid no attention
fitting into the mold
surrendering to your surrounding's hold
obey
do what you're told
the price has been bartered
you've been bought
and sold
the return policy
your last breath
held captive for life
untill your encounter with death
tests and trials
evaporate any denial
that could hide beneath your pleasent smile
simmering below is a truth so vile
baracaded and shut deep down in your conscience
lies the fact
that your unconsious
its on the tip of your tounge
but never mentioned
i guess that makes you
society's invention

To all the goodbyes
I say goodnight
To everyone that dies
I hope it's bright

To everyone;
With a razor
Hand of pills
Tied rope
Dangling keys
Extreme hight below
Finger over a light trigger
Electricity at hand
Open propane tank
Empty plate, with full glass

Stop, think about who you're leaving behind
I know my words aren't going to stop you, but just read
Did you bother to write and leave a note?
Is it worth it then?
Saying you're sorry, knowing you'll leave someone behind?
Stop. Think about why you're doing it
Do you have nobody?
Think about your opportunities that'll fly past
The chance of ever meeting someone?
Did you lose someone?
Think about if you'll actually see them again?
Being bullied?
Fight back, with whatever you have
Life shoved you down?
No, I'm not asking you to get up!
I'm telling you to get your *** into a nap
Think about all the possibilities that might not be
Think of all the opportunities and people in the future
Think of your legacy
Think of anything except the pain
Now balance the pain and everything else
Want to jump? Skyfall
Want to shoot? Paintball and games
Want to hang? Bungee
Want to overdose? Take 10% of it and party
Suffocate in propane gas, or blow up? Cook a nice meal, invite a friend or family. Surround yourself. No friends and family? Find a friend, build a family. Make space cakes
Want to speed wrong side of the road? Speed on the right side of the road and get carried with the wind, do it over again
Want to cut yourself? Cut off the pain and wrong influences
Electricute yourself? Rather save electricity and watch a good movie with friends or family. Have none? Watch a movie alone, play a game online. Make friends, build a family
Want to starve yourself so you can get drunker and finally forget it all, when your liver gives in? Eat a lot more, blow off some steam at the gym and build a body that girls/guys would like, attract them and make new friends. Drink with friends.

I've done and tried all these things and it never worked out
Life had a pleasent surprise and yet I'm depressed and yet I'm suicidal, but I push through. I know you can too!
Push through to that wedding day, or in my case the day I see my Suzuki GSX-R 750 K8 and take my first ride. Create new dreams if the old ones died. Work hard for them. Achieve something
"At least leave a ******* legacy behind" is what my bestfriend, Steph used to say
"You can get out of this alive, but maybe a little ****** up, but anything damaged can be repaired" My bestfriend Josh used to say
"Life can carry you away without what you thought you needed" my bestfriend Divene used to say

Even more quotes from people I've lost in my life, so I ask you just think about it all
Still going through with it? Remember it's a one way ticket
Need some extra help?
269-281-8555
Message me and we'll work through this

It's been a long life, been a long day
Waiting for all the yesterdays to simply die away.
Here I'am waiting with nothing to do
And empty hands don't make work light
Loneliness doesn't fill up right.

A hundred and three years she's been alive
No more breath to be taken and mesuared now
I'll remember the visits, jelly beans and nail polish
Not quite comfortable in that place,
The hospital's never been a pleasent place for me.

Now the struggle's over and I wasn't there.
Coward perhaps but now, all I can do is wait.
Wait till the aftershock stands still and everyone is home again.
Be there and try to understand losing
Someone close, distant at the same time.

I hope there's a better place, full of sunshine
No geckos and nothing goes to waste.
Hope you found the peace and the faces you needed
Great Grandma Sophie
Please rest in peace.

Special personal log:
We had set sail early on the 20th day of the second month in the year of 1728.  The waters seem tame and the winds sang a pleasent south song.  Almost exactly a day out of dock we encounter what I can best describe as a blue sun in the ocean.   In the early morning twilight a blue light shined from below.    Lightning bolts seem to emit from the waters and dance about the starless sky.  It was then I saw with my own eyes a man floating above the sea spinning a long stick made of blue light above him.  His eyes glowed blue and he uttered a strange chant.   In that moment we were all blinded in an amazing flash of blue light.  A creature now was in the place of the man.  Its wings were grand beyond imagination!  It was a dragon!  It then flew beyond the sky leaving behind ripples of blue light.

its nice to be nice so they say

be pleasent and kind everyday

wear a smile upon your face

where ever you go in every place.


just be nice and show you care

and your kindness you can share

its nice to be nice and pleasent too

most of all just be you

I wish she could see herself from my point of view
And love her body when she looks at it as much as I do
I wish when she looked in the mirror she loved what look back
She is a beautiful woman but confidents she lack
If she doesn't think she weighs to much then she don't like her hair
If she's not complaining about how she moans then it's what she wears
I wish she could see herself from my point of view
Beautiful, ****, talented, loving, sweet, and attractive too
Irresistably captivating, unique, funny, and kind
She is so much more then what she come up with in her mind
To me she is so much more than what she see
But I don't think she really believes me
I love the tone of her voice, her weight,even the paint on her toes
The smell of her breath, her hair, and other places not to be told
The way she laugh how she look at me and even her smile
Although I think she has a weird taste in clothes I love her style
I wonder all the time why can't she what I do
Do she believe me when I say I love you
She's kind hearted,humble,pleasent,and intellectual
Wise, easy going, affectionate,sweet, and joyful
A smile that could light up a dark alley a heart of gold
A walk that gets attention but I don't think she knows
That she is incredible not only in my eyes but others too
I wish I wish she could see herself from my point of view

I pass right by u and catch ur sent.
That sweet aroma that make me forget.
Dont know what it is,but is just so pleasent.
For that brief second made my day.
Back to the real wrold,where all my strugles
Arise.
But cant wait for the day again where u pass by,
Once again I catch ur sent and it takes me
Away.

To the end of the road,
glittered by streetlamps
each of a different wavelenght,
you said we should go.
To the end and over the fence,
where the glitter is no more,
where the lights are seen from far,
where the lights are merged with the stary sky.
On the darkened grass, yet silver from the moon,
you said we should go,
where we are around it all
and not the other way around.
Where we can choose the path of the stars,
you pushed me down on the ground,
and I heard you giggle,
oh, that indescribably pleasent  sound.

Just an elevator man
If he had a name he never said
Among few words were what floor
Pushing buttons, sliding doors

It wasn't like he wasn't the pleasent type
Everyone enjoyed the ride
Had a way with a smile
Could make a junkyard dog give up his growl

The years all pass in a dying breath
Steals your soul, don't give it back
With the old joke that we all know
Life has its ups and downs he often told

As he started to wear they bought him a chair
Just within reach of the buttons there
Some days though he'd be asleep
Happens more and more quite frequently

That's why no one knew that he'd been dead
A month of Sundays the coriner said
He'd passed away they believe
Somewhere between floor 1 and floor 19

The tenets now help themselves out
Thinking of the one that never said much out loud
Just an elevator man
If he had a name, he never said

There is something

other than a man

about him

eyes bright, 
lips
locked
 tight

his fingers

are not that

much longer

than mine

they too
 know
chemicals

the touch of glass

between your bare

skin and acid

I tap words
through the sheets

with my finger-

tips

dot dot dot

dot dot

dot

and through the

haze of sleep
he smiles

his mouth titling

towards mine

we don’t call it

kissing

it is the pleasent purple

colour of neutral

litmus paper

it is our data
spreading

from the corners

of our mouths
into my
 cheeks

my body betrays me
and colours them
red

but it is more
than a flush
of a fantasy
made present

to be able
to touch

this man who hides
(and lies)

to know
this light touch
of a man in
a mask

which he allows 

only me to
see 
through

I will always be yours
Although you may never be mine
But that will not **** my heart
Or chase my soul away
Your heart is numb towards love
I know
Your have days of darkness and  biting doubts
Whispers of failure and loathing echo through your ears
You can walk through a warm pleasent day
Yet your every breath fills your lungs with ice
And everything you do hurts
You could look straight to the sun
And your eyes would still only see clouds of misery
Somedays you have your reasons
And somedays this lifeless blanket just wraps itself around you
Tightly like it is your skin and your soul
Somedays are worse than others
Somedays are not so bad
Some even good
And maybe it wouldn't be so bad
If you just knew what each day would bring
Sunny tuesdays
Horrible saturdays
A black storm appointed
Every third thursday...
If it was predictable
Maybe... maybe it would be easier to bare...
Probably not...
But maybe if there was a why...
A why to the darkness
A why to the bricks in your hands
A why to the wall going up more often than down
A why to the whispers
A why to your lungs filled with ache
A why to the numb
A why to you crawling back into this pit
A why to the again and again
A why to you hurting
A why to you hurting yourself
A why for your loss of lust for life
A why to your reflection not being as beautiful as you actually are
A why to the silence breaking over the beat of your heart
A why to the whys...
But the days are unknown as to what you will wake to find
And the nights are unknown of when the monsters will whisper
Or the demons will be hiding under your sheets
Or what seeds of doubts the devil has placed under your pillow
To rot your dreams and your hopes
From within your sleep
And the whys only echo more whys and whys
And even the days you wake up to a smile
Or fall into pleasant dreaming at night
Not knowing how long it will last is the shadow stitched to your feet
The nagging question of how long before it hurts to breath again
The anxiety and fear of a bad day looming
Only brings the clouds more quickly
You have lost sight of yourself
And its hard to see yourself as anything
Anyone would be inspired by
Anyone would treasure
Anyone would call beautiful
Anyone would love
So you listen to the whispers and the doubts and the whys
And you brace yourself for a bad day
Instead of enjoying the good one you woke up too
And no matter how many times you hear it
Or are shown that
You are treasured
And beautiful
And inspiring
And that you are loved
You still find yourself crawling into your pit and your darkness
I don't have a cure
I don't have the answers to the whys
Because there is not always an answer
And there is no cure
Treatments works to a point
Pills often **** as many if not more than they help
But the greys of the unknown
Are darker than what little light is understood
What I do have...
Is my hand
And my hope
And my love
Every time you crawl into that hole
I will crawl down with you
I will burn my heart and soul
To keep your lungs warm
I will always be here
In the dark
In the hurt
In the doubts
I will always be yours
My heart will not die or break
My soul will stay by you
No matter the weather tomorrow
Or next week
Or at the end of time
I will love you endlessly
And expect nothing in return
My only purpose need be
To show you your light
And your heart
And your soul
To reveal your true teflection
Your true beauty
To show you
You are inspiring
You are treasured
Your are beautiful
And you are
Loved

this patron
no longer exsists

well this is news
to me

i just returned some
overdue books

and wish to borrow more

but nope, not me
I no longer exsist

that must mean
I need not buy
those lambshanks
for tea

Not pay those bills
teeter tottering  on
the verge of overedue

no need to be pleasent
to any one, especially
not you

Rude lady, new
to the system
who has coldly
informed me
of my demise

Who states with
disinterest and haught
in her spectacled eyes
You must not have
borrowed for
the past three years
You no longer exsist
this she did insist
even as I pointed out
I had returned books
only three days overdue
Even as other librarians
stopped to chat, knowing
my name, recommending
new books, telling me gossip
about this and that....

This patron does not exsist
it cannot be true, it is not a glitch
this patron is a patron
through and through
I left them to figure out
the mystery, I did not pout
or get out of sorts and a little blue
I said I would come back Monday
that is if over the weekend
I do not simply fade away

You haunt me,
Torture me,
Warm me, sometimes,
You keep me sane,
Or maybe not...
You bring things up,
That make me wince,
And all the pleasent things,
You make unclear.
You might be my friend today,
You might betray me tomorrow.
And as we walk,
Hand in hand,
My head is bent,
In deepest sorrow.

my  poor little dog he coudnt here a thing
he was very deaf all heard was ring
but if you threw a stick he could plainly see
he would pick it up and bring it back to me
i couldnt call his name it would be no good
it would be like talking to a piece of wood
i took him to the vet to ask him  for advice
he was very pleasent and also very nice
to my little dog he seemed to take a shine
then he moved his fingers and began to make a sign
my doggy seemed to know what he had to say
just by making signs he could hear me everyday.
now i can spell his name and he can come to me
just by making signs that he can plainly see

there is Heat in this moment.
this Heat isn't like
a warm summer breeze,
or a blanket on a winter night.
this Heat is like
being forced to take a pleasent stroll
in the blood-shot screams of Hell
all while walking barefoot
on the Sun with a smile.
there is Heat in this moment,
but it seems only you and I can feel it.

My love is misunderstood
Like a book that has never been read
Yet still kept on shelf
With a layer of passion dust

Through the filter of memory
The unreliable projector
I couldn't see a thing in that alley
But you hit me true
Left your bruise
I recall living in a place like this
Among skyscrapers made of  garbage with the floor painted a pleasent ***** green
where the psychopaths roam
Where do you come from?    
Well lit corridors and wide open spaces?            
Fed, washed and clothes clean
in front of the TV and bundled up warm ?  
Didn't you shiver
when those teeth came closer  ?
Did you see the late night screening
of flies on the ceiling?    
Did you have dinner with your mother and father  ?
Get a pat on the head
when your nose started bleeding?
Fist fights and *****
or homework in the evening?
Give me your story
Make it ******* gory

The feeling sings pleasent discourse between the lengths of my young ribs
Swelling and rising like the tides of the fear I had long forgotten since the blunders my youth
The need
The want
The longing to not be left lonely again.
And I'm spiraling in the wave of the aftermath of your touch
Running scared in the ivory forest hidden under layers of skin in the base of my chest
Screaming with the choirs of my blood that this will not do
This is never enough
This is all that rings out in the cathedral in me
As all I am lifts my hands to the light
And falls to the floor in fear and wonder at the weight of it all
The breath in your being
The swing in your step
All illuminates the war in me
The fight in my own body
Between instinct and reason
Between love and lust
Within this bag of blood there is no trust
And though my wings are clipped I will still fight to fly from this
From this inner turmoil over your teeth
I wanted them and I needed them but now I can barely see
Externally stable but internally battling a boiling sea:
This fear of you and this fear of me.
The feeling wages on.