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anastasiad Nov 2016
Primary Introduction:

Sections will be tiny pieces as well as texts that are employed to resolve along with update the actual software programs and data associated with desktops. This technique offers safety vulnerabilities mending and taking away parasites intended for improved upon efficiency. It is also referred to as a technique of creating a plan to kinds of sections for being carried out to the particular devices inside unpredictable moment structure.

Different types of Patches:

Effectively the particular web developers ordinarily release pads in various forms nevertheless you can find largely a couple of forms of spot forms out there for instance Hotfixes, Roll-ups and Service Packages.

Hotfixes: All these upgrades tend to be developed in a shorter lifetime of some time and people discover in addition to remedy one particular concern of a typical bug seen to be recognized using a purchaser. All these Hotfixes aren't quite definitely tried.

Roll-ups: Roll-ups undoubtedly are a combined lots of Hotfixes within a a single. This can be a simple modified data file along with analyzed often.

Service Delivers: Support packages are incredibly a lot tried in addition to a bunch of Hotfixes together with many, are designed through Microsof company. These kinds of selections include those Hotfixes which are not released previous with this kind of the modern efficiency introduced. Program packs mostly underpass critical evaluating processes prior to being published.

Steps involved in Fixing:

Usually it is really an continuous as well as a steady method in the event that for the difficulty fixing is done then again there could be a whole new susceptibility produced. Spot supervision procedure have a lot of performs including:

a new)Making use of regarding ideal equipment to detect and search within the device regarding absent safety measures patches.

n)Enable the important changes are not set up then this solidity of the challenges really should be motivated. You'll want to balance the severity of the condition and view when they can affect the setting or otherwise not.

do)And if issue could hardly be motivated many people suitable patch really should be screened to get employed.

d)There after this evaluating face occurs as well as the patch must be attached to some sort of examining technique.

e)In that case apply the fix to your methods as well as make use of the back-ups when necessary.

f ree p)Finally when things are all acceptable as well as running then subscriptions with regard to notifications must be carried out to ensure that or no situation can come in the future, ought to be knowledgeable.

Range involving Spot Managing:

Almost all of the Rural The item Assistance information mill making use of the idea of weakness managing. The primary concern for them will be to maintain the security with the facts information due to the fact data basic safety may be the essential part of the business growth. It provides a beneficial scope to the people because it is maintain updated linked to the protection areas and there are quite a few area managers which a individual will use and can replace far too.
Patching is a large strategy and possesses much more ideas there to generally be mentioned afterwards. Rather numerous server assist providers provider are also making use of this practice which happens to be effective in addition to saving their time in addition to methods. This is presenting their clientele very good along with improved upon services.

Learn more: http://www.passwordmanagers.net/resources/Free-Image-Recovery-Software-30.html Free Image Recovery Software
Poetic T Sep 2014
And that was all another story,
Now bed my little eggs
As A Hundred And One
Little eyes shut tight,
  Night,
Night,
Eggs Sleep
Eggs Grow
Eggs we love you so
So they slept
Morning Shimmered
Like a blanket lifted
A Hundred And One
Eyes awoke
"Mum"
"Mum"
Above Bubbles frothed
With each
POP
POP
POP
Was heard faint whispers
Of a
croak
ribbit
A Hundred And One times
If didn't lose count??
Mother out of breath
Hopping,
Jumping,
"What is it my many children"
All at once
A TAIL WE DO HAVE
My little ones, that was the story
"Of which I spoke"
But I guess
A Hundred And One
Were playing spot the egg
And not listening to what
RIBBIT mother said,
You wait till tomorrow
My young
Now go out and play,
So they rushed and played
Till the glow in the heavens sank down
Beneath the ponds gaze,
Now bed my little ones
Growing up so fast,
As a hundred a one
Little eyes shut tight,
  Night,
Night,
Tadpoles Sleep
Tadpoles Grow
Tadpoles we love you so
Morning broke not as before
The racket from above
They awoke
A Hundred And One
Ran with tail between there legs
MOM,
MOM,
MOM,
All were afraid of the unknown
"Children, children"
She softly ribbited spoke,
"It is but water"
From up high and then
Drips from the clouds,
To down Below,
"Fear not my young ones"
She spoke,
And the day was noisy
And a mess did they make
But to bed early they went
An early morning
You all must wake,
As a hundred a one
Little eyes shut tight,
  Night,
Night,
Frogs Sleep
Frogs Grow
Frogs we love you so
And It was Just reached
Dawn,
She softly spoke
Time to wake
Babies no more,
You are grown up
!!Its time to go!!
"Go where mother"
"To the world beyond the pond"
Life is ever moving
And so you must move on
Be brave my little
Ribbits,
&
Ribbets,
For your life is just a
Hop,
And a
Jump,
Away,
Find your damp patch,
My Hundred And one
And then make it your home..
For you are not children ribbet any more.
Amber S Feb 2012
cotton candy kisses
your mouth are sour patch kids
licking the lips, they are sour
but the tongue is oh so sweet
taste buds are alive. tingling. sizzling.
your ears are hershey kisses
small, adorable and delectable.
your skin is mouth watering taffy
melting all over me.

your tootise pop is my favorite
the exterior is hard, just like tasty candy
the inside gooey and messy
not too many licks
but just enough, to ******* favorite
treat of all
Bart Wolffe Aug 2012
After the English fry-up at the Turkish café,
I ask to use the toilet.
It’s through the back of the kitchen where his wife
Is washing pans, out the door and down the stairs
Rusted with years of rain and peeling paintwork.
In the passage down below, between moss-grown brick,
A patch of earth. So many pots line the walls.
A few onions sprout. A maple tree. Some emerald shoots
Beneath a seed packet sign saying “Gladioli”.
It is quiet here. A place where servitude ends,
Where pause is taken
From the sound of coffee machines and clatter,
Chip-fryer sizzling and the perpetual radio’s chatter.
A spot within the city, apart from the chaos upstairs,
Where the proprietor can breathe
More than fumes and demands,
Smoke a single cigarette and contemplate
A pebble carefully placed among the hidden green
And trace the ground of being, a memory of home.
Jackie Mead Feb 2018
Molly the Dolly lived in a house
With her two best friends
Ferret the Cat and a Dog named Mouse

The house was small but had enough rooms for Molly the Dolly to sweep with a broom

Two bedrooms, one for Molly and one for guests, Molly of course had the one that was best

A room to bathe amongst bubbles and foam, lay in warm water and revive weary bones

A room to lounge and put up your feet, in front of a real fire, giving out real heat

In this room Molly also entertained guests with cups of tea and slices of cake, muffins, scones and individual tray bakes

On a table by the fire was a chess set in miniature, each character resembling characters from Robin Hood
Maid Marion of course The White Queen beautiful and serene
Robin Hood The White King, robbing the rich and helping the poor made Robin Hood very good
Friar Tuck was a Bishop of course
King John on the other hand so horrid and mean, with a solid Black Heart, could only be The Black King

On rainy days Molly the Dolly would invite her friends in to play, you could never tell who would win, one bad move and the game would spin
One minute Molly would be winning the next "checkmate" would shout Holly Divine the girl from next door, "5-3 to me" she did shout, showing Molly how she was keeping score

Also in this room two smaller beds all soft and plush for Ferret the Cat and the Dog named Mouse
The beds were close to the fire to keep them both toasty and warm and next to Molly the Dolly's chair, so Molly could have them play on her lap when she raised her hand in a single clap

The last room of course was the Kitchen where Molly the Dolly spent most of her day cooking up batches of heavenly soup and baking scrumptious Pies that were full in the belly and good on the eyes

There was a Front Door to usher guests in and a Back Door to usher them out
The garden ran round and about the whole house outside and came equipped with swings and a slide, for fun of course, and a stable just the right size to house a miniature horse, a vegetable patch to grow veg for her soups and trees to bear fruit for the scrumptious pies

The garden went on and on it was so long you couldn't believe your eyes the garden was twice as long as it was wide

The garden ended where a river began and still the river was on Molly's land

On a hot day Molly the Dolly would put on a hat and slap on some sunscreen and  with Ferret the Cat and the Dog named Mouse they would exit the house and hop and skip to the river bank to play

Molly the Dolly would throw some sticks for the Dog named Mouse and small pretend mice for Ferret the Cat
Molly would take off her shoes and her socks  and her hat step in the water not too deep, drink something thirst quenching but not too sweet, keeping herself cool in this natural outdoor swimming pool

At the end of the day the three friends would return to the house inside dry their feet and clean their hands, eat some Pies and drink sweet tea then return to the lounge and settle in
Their favourite show on TV they didn't need anything else for the night just the friendship of these uniquely different three

So now I've introduce you to Molly the Dolly and a few of her friends, where they live and what they like to do.  
I hope you enjoy reading about them too as I delve into their lives and hopefully take you along for the ride.
Some new characters, another epic story, if you take the time to read a bug thank you and please let me know what you think
PS anyone remember miss molly had a Dolly who was sick, sick, sick, she called for the Dr to be quick, quick, quick etc etc, maybe loosely had that in mind when writing this
Jeremy Duff Apr 2013
There is a small patch of forest just next to my house.
When I was little my sister and I would go there and dance and sing.
Today I decided to visit. Beer bottles and empty cigarette packs littered the ground.
I had been there in a while but someone had. I sat down on a rotting log and pulled out my own pack of cigarettes.
I stayed there, sitting on that log, accompanied by my thoughts and the sound of the wind rushing through the pines above.
It's as if the trees were speaking to me.

In an ancient and eminent language they whispered.
They told me stories the Moon wanted to remain unknown.
They sang to me songs the birds first whistled.
And with strength the river envied they swept me away.
The innocence of the pines was obvious in this serene place.
Ofentse Tsie Jul 2014
Giving off pieces of myself to complete you
You're a mess, but I can fix you
Allow me to take you around the globe and let the world stare
I wanna make you sure of your beauty, let's ride together
And be like the '03 Bonnie & Clyde
O'er the moon like the shining star No clouds can block our shine
No sun can outshine us. Hand in hand we'll patch up to be imperfectly perfect, for me. The piece that will set my world in motion,my motivation. Tattooed into my spirit, you'll have a huge chunk of my heart to keep in yours. Capture a shot of you smiling, heaven never looked so beautiful. My kind of forever.

By: @OfentseTsie & @_Dvniel
This is the brighter side of our previous piece titled: Grey Skies. We hope you enjoy, and thanks for the love. It's appreciated. Peace
kfaye May 2012
It seems we often find ourselves,
entering
into animated conversation
at inconvenient hours.

And this is best.

That
which compels things to happen.
which lets all of their motives and passions slip through.

There are subtle diamonds
woven into the patch-work mystery of the nighttime,
the stitches of which,
we unravel
and
let
drip
into our open mouths
in eager anticipation,            
of sedated


excitation.
Wk kortas Jan 2017
He will allow, if you press him on the point,
That it can be a hard go sometimes;
Holsteins have no concept of weekends, he will say,
Or Christmas, for that matter,
But all that being said
With a smile practically gushing contentment.
He has, for thirty-plus years now,
Worked some four hundred head, dairy and beef
In this cold, flat valley where low-pressure systems come to die,
Bringing the detritus of low clouds and snow flurries in tow,
Sometimes even into the middle of May.  
He is not unaware the outlook for his homestead is hazy, at best;
He has consciously blocked out how much he is into the bank
For feed, the re-built corn silos, the new Case tractor,
And both of his sons have long since fled south,
Preferring the comfort of powerpoint presentations and cubicles
To a cold, dark milking house in the middle of January,
But he has seen the future come and go,
Dwelling in the misbegotten debris of the recent past:
Huge, slightly Fifties-space-movie-flying-saucer satellite dishes
Pointing forlornly directly at the horizon
Outside shuttered and foreclosed upon houses
Which litter any number of the back roads,
The yellowing signs promoting cheap internet access
Taped to windows in small, half-empty strip malls in Gouvernuer,
All cause enough for him to opine at virtually every opportunity
I have seen the future, and I can confirm
That it clearly ain’t what it used to be.


He could have, if he had of a mind to do so, gone in another direction;
Unlike most of the farm kids,
Who were packaged as a unit into the General Ed track,
He’d tested himself into the College Prep classes,
Where several of his teachers made it a point to tell him
Virgil, you need to understand that you’re a bright kid.  
You can do other things, go other places
,
And one or two of his instructors were downright offended
That he chose to take over the farm immediately upon graduation,
But he knew at an early age—no, had always known
That he would remain in this place, on this patch of land,
Even though he could not even begin to explain
The whys and wherefores of his decision,
Language being the ungainly
And wholly inadequate instrument that it is
(This is why, he would say every Sunday morning
At breakfast with Gerald Glass and Earl Tiefenauer,
The both of them rolling their eyes in tandem,
Knowing exactly what came next,
The Akwesasnes went hundreds of years without a written language;
They were smart enough to know that all words do
Is just get in the **** way
)
But he knew that what was in the gentle, serene chugging,
The rhythmic pop of the ancient machinery
At the  Karsten place over on the Heuvelton Road
Flinging another squared-off hay bale into his jerry-built wagon,
Or in the blue sky which stretched, impossibly cloudless and glorious,
From the St. Lawrence up north down to Fort Drum
And onward for several forevers either way besides,
Was greater and weightier than anything in the cloth-bound red Bibles
Which sat in the pews at the Presbyterian church in Madrid
(Not his father’s church, but the blustering, cocksure Baptists,
Sure as death itself as to the absolute inambiguity of the Word
Were simply not his kind of people)
Which he had begun attending some half-dozen years ago,
Not because he was a particularly spiritual man by any means;
He had simply been unable to sufficiently convince himself
That all of this could happen strictly by accident.
Lewis Bosworth Nov 2016
When I Was Fourteen
I took a walk around the world
When I was fourteen.

A round-trip from the country
Of Florida to the province of
Friendship.

I broke out my camp gear on
The way to the sea of desire
And edged my way to the point
Of view.

When I was fourteen
I took gym class and failed
Showers.

The water lapped at my body,
Its steamy blows pelting my
Boyhood.

The jocks jeered at me ‘cause
I cried in shop class a lot
When I was fourteen.

The girls wore saddle shoes
With bobby sox and they
Liked me seeing as I could
Dance the jitterbug.

I loved the beat, the jiggling
Of my legs against my pants
And I learned to cope with
My feelings of trackless taunts.

I starred in a one-act play but
Forgot my lines
When I was fourteen.

I had a dream in the province
Of friendship that there was
A boy called little prince
Who nourished a rose.
Prince taught me that I would
Only see clearly with my heart
When I was fourteen.

A new boy came to school one
day and sat next to me at chorus  
practice.

He gazed at me, his eyelashes
and lips detailed in copper, head
tipped back as though in trance
and pulled off his t-shirt.

I am here today because he was
There, nourishing me like prince’s
Rose, but with courage.

When I was fourteen
I met the gymnast of love, his
Daring glance, his feather touch,
Defiant, preaching counterpoint.

I tried to run away but his name
Kept Calling me back, like a
Birdsong: “Phillip,” it whispered,
“My name is Phillip.”

And I went to him, to his glance,
To his smile, to his arms, and
He sang to me, this boy named
Phillip:

“I know you, my little prince,
You are a wee patch of blue,
My Mordecai, my Bashar, my
Ivan, my Carlos, branches of
The same tree, so serious at
Fourteen.”

Soon another dream came over
Me, I dozed, drowsy and snug
In the arms of an unknown hero,
And I was wrapped in a frosted
Halo, when I was fourteen.

My halo was a gift from Phillip,
And it dripped so silently down
On the closet, on fire, holding
The me that I now behold in
The mirror.

I saw the shower and stood up
Proud, I saw the stage and
Remembered my lines, and
I was proud.  I was the rose,
Nourished. And I was proud.

I danced and dreamed and was
Filled with courage, my chest
Popping with buttons, my head
Filled with melody and my
Shoes tapping in rhythm.

Today we went home to see
My mom, Phillip and I, and
She put her arms around us
And said “Welcome, boys,
I love you!”

When I was fourteen.  


© Lewis Bosworth, 2014
Asphyxiophilia Jul 2013
She wore a yellow dress the day that he picked her up in his truck for their very first date. Her hair fell in loose curls and gentle waves upon her shoulders like the low tides of the ocean on a warm summer day when it was just the right temperature for sun-bathing. She had a smile as careless as the high grass swaying in the wind around the telephone poles that they passed on their way to the lake that they were planning on picnicking at. Her hands danced like shadow puppets on the dashboard to the rhythm of the country songs emitting from the radio. She crossed her thin legs and tilted her head towards the sky, allowing the breeze sweeping through the cab to kiss her neck as it passed by. Every now and then, when she wasn't looking, he'd steal a glance in her direction like a heads-up penny that he would slip into his pocket for good luck for later. When he pulled off the dirt road and removed the wicker basket and blanket from the truck bed, she ran ahead of him like a gazelle yearning to quench her thirst, searching for a spot near the lake for them to sit. She fell to her knees on a soft patch of dirt that filled the creases like puzzle pieces, as though she belonged to it. As he made his way to her, he watched as she tangled the grass in her fingers like strands of hair before looking up at him and smiling.  He never knew what love was, but he knew this was as close as he ever needed to be in order to be happy.

She wore a yellow dress the evening that she crawled through his bedroom window to spend the night with him, without his parent's consent. Her hair was tucked behind her ears like every reservation he had until he met her, that now dangled out the window. He removed his guitar from behind his bed and watched as she twirled around in circles in the center of his bedroom, as though the angels were strumming on harps just for her. Every now and then, his fingers would slip from the strings, because he couldn't remove his eyes from her pink lips as they lip-synced their very own love song. When the melody ceased, she fell into the carpet like a cloud that she could float away on top of. He put his guitar back in its rightful place before fitting his body behind hers, holding her and whispering their love song as they both fell asleep.

She wore a yellow dress the afternoon that he pushed her on a tire swing. Her slender fingers gripped the rope the way she held him, as though she never intended to let go. He pressed his hands against her back and pushed her into the heavens, wondering how he was so fortunate to receive an angel when it came back to him. Her hair blew behind her like the physical manifestation of the sound waves of her laugh whenever she went too fast. He couldn't remove the smile from his face, even if he tried, although he never would whenever she was around. She was the high, higher than the tire swing could ever take her, that he never wanted to come down from.

She wore a yellow dress the night that she was riding her bike, alone. Her feet pressed down on the peddles and her hips balanced the frame as she spread her arms out beside her like a bird in flight. Her mind was still racing with thoughts of him, his soft breath against the back of her neck and the feel of his hand against her stomach, when a car sped around the turn too quickly. She felt the headlights illuminate her skin like the sunlight that kissed her the way he did on their first date, but the blow that followed didn't quite resemble that of his kiss.

She wore a yellow dress the morning that they decorated her casket. Her hair was stiff as it framed her powdered face, and her hands were cold as they were crossed on her chest. Her legs were covered by a silk blanket and daisies were laid upon them. A forced smile was spread across her lips, appearing grotesque, which was the first thing he noticed whenever he entered the funeral home. At the sight of her lifeless body, he fell to his knees and began sobbing. She was now nothing more than a metaphor for the good dying young.

She wore a yellow dress the twilight that she walked into the sunset to greet him. Her hair fell delicately down her back like a waterfall cascading into a heavenly pool. She had a smile as warm as the sunbeams that blinded him whenever he first opened his eyes, after he (what he thought might be) permanently closed them while lying on the cold tile of his bathroom floor. Her hands reached out to hold his, as though she desired to place twinkling stars in his palms. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder, holding him like she knew she failed to do the evening that she left him. Then she lifted her head towards the heavens again, allowing the wind to kiss her neck and the sun to sweep her into his arms (along with him) and her yellow dress.
anonymous May 2014
I now see why people call it
"falling in love",
because you don't just trip,
you can't stand up after
and dust the dirt and blood off of your knees
like nothing ever happened
if the one you are falling for you
doesn't catch you
you can't patch it up with band-aids
and hydrogen peroxide
it's not a little trip
it's an enormous, mountain high fall
and if you don't land just right
you wind up with a broken heart
instead of broken bones
Dark Smile Mar 2014
I will patch up the cracks within.
I'll hold you close.
I won't let your warmth slip through my fingers.
Trust me!
I'm not one to talk.
We've both made mistakes but I've learned.
I've learned not to take you for granted.
I'm never going to let you go.
Can't you see that I need you?
Love me.
Love me again.
Give me another chance.
I was once a fool,
not anymore.
Please.
*please
Wrote this about a story I read.
Erin Jade May 2015
Birds gossip in the arms of the red maple.
Rays of the Milky Way's brightest star, warms
the back of the copper-eared, old hound.
He sits on the single patch of grass persevering
in dry soil of a rainless spring. Abandoned yard.
The hound sits against a backdrop of neatly
stacked bricks, indicating an air pump of
life breathing on the hounds unfulfilled oasis.
Rogue saplings lay vanquished- roots up,
bundled in preparation for weekly collection.
Uninvited soil-guests spot the yard with a
deluding shade of jealousy green like the
luscious grass over the hedge- deceit
ZOO Nov 2016
whose that someone there on the corner
influencing me with her sign
does she expect me to leave her money.

sign says to me, love and remember
take care of my sweet things , for me,
I'm  on my way home.
I'm here, see me
my hurt and every hope.

She planted the sign inside me
as I drove by
The thought of her there still
and I was can'ting and I'm still
thinking I can't.
Hoping, instead, that the heaven rises open for her.

all her quotes were soon delivered by the passer byes
the ambulance driver had already gone, too.
All had left, but was me, laying down beside her
No God to be watching over -
We are now
the only ones watching
her story is sorta sad, tragic and funny.

the noon time sun pierced her there on the ground
Beside snow covered wheels were white and soundless
like photos that were a patch of dark blood was still mixing.

I over think on my worries, now, and know little else, because
She is friendless sitting still there in my memory;
Simply, I am to be no longer existing - the heavens, who do not care.
I do not guard my worried me, just kneel, I am liable
not have never read on his word, in my bible.

I am someone lesser, man now, for not believing
a wandering begging and I am blinding to pull off
all that I've gathered by my skin - inside this foxskin cloth,

that ******* the corner, so long she waited to get money from here to
travel to Baltimore, she had in her pocket her sister, Gabriela's calligraphy, her darned socks.

I think I will take a long Northern train to see tonight,
And pray with imagined gifts, quitting myself
and she hushed me. "I am a seed eternally."

she had beautiful eyelids and my nose knows
those pulsing streams are pillows that still gather
up on the down dust smatters from rain,
still the eyes are Writing
old pipers notes long ago accordion tunes.
dealing with life
Mortecai Null Nov 2018
Lines of scar tissue trace from the edge of your lips back to the end of your teeth. You run your tongue from one corner to the other. Right to left. You can’t be the only one to have this. Your desire to probe another’s orifices has close to overwhelmed you in the desire to relate to other people. Was this normal? When the fan runs wind over your skin it crawls to create peaks and divots. As they fade, one patch remains on the outside of your forearm. You pick at every little one until the whole population turns red to purple to green. Was this normal? Your teeth poke holes into each other. A corner of a molar no longer holds up a roof and with your tongue’s help you can just barely make out the inner cavity. It felt like porous webbing. It reminds you of the animal skulls you looked at in your biology class and their delicate nasal cavities. Looking at those cavities used to make you very sad. Was this normal? You once had a hangnail on your hallux. They had to numb your foot to break under your skin and pull the left section of it out. It took twice the amount of anesthetic for you to not feel it. It felt good to know you were being mutilated.  Was this normal? You always felt a dip in the upper back of your head. You once heard that newborn babies had a soft spot in that area of their skull, but that the hole closes as they get older. Pressing on yours incites headache. Was this normal? You once formed a cyst on your thigh. It did not want to be drained like its smaller companions that littered your back and face. You are determined to remove the blemish. You dig around the outsides and press inward to find the source. It seems deeper than you thought. You continue to scratch away at the layers of skin as you start to bleed. It doesn’t really hurt. You just want to find the cyst. After about thirty minutes you give up. You’re not really sure why you couldn’t find it. You must have took at least an inch into your leg. Was this normal? For weeks you slipped in and out of lucid dreams. You only got up to use the bathroom, check the news, and take your medicine. Some of the dreams were enjoyable and others less so. You almost started to forget which world was more real, but it all started to become unsettling. Even when you didn’t care where you were, every state felt as if it were decaying around you. And when you did care, the panic caused you to start to shake. In quiet, disabling anxiety, you spun counterclockwise to the world around you. You grabbed the razer from your shower. You gently rubbed the blades against your forearm. Erratic slices cut through the outermost dermal. There was no blood, just redness. It was only to make sure you were still there. But it wasn’t quite right. Your arm was there, but maybe the rest of you wasn’t. You had to make sure. Was this normal? You raced the blades up your arms, over your chest, down your torso, down and down. Certain curvatures ran strange and caused blood to pearl to the surface. Others barely upset the dead layer. You looked at yourself in the mirror. You always felt like your face didn’t look quite right. And right now, it was the face of some sort of estranged family member. Was this normal? You gently glide the razor sideways across your face. It’s the most sensitive yet. You remember some random piece of trivia about the temples on a human head. You start to slide the hand razor to the right side of your temple. It doesn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. You experiment with more and more pressure until blood starts to arise. The little bit of it running down the side of your face made you feel the most comfortable in your skin for a long time. You start to rotate from your forearms and your temples and your stomach and again. You’ve forgotten about the dreams. You’ve forgotten about the world. You’ve forgotten about the trivial division between reality and non-. You’ve forgotten about normalcy. You feel good. Was this normal?
Àŧùl May 2013
Spring came full of rejuvenating hope to ward off the chilly winters,
It came replete with dreams of days much brighter,
It came to exfoliate & gently scrub away the old ones,
Yes it came to make way for the new flowers.

It stayed till the sun was high up there in the shy sky,
It stayed till the sun burnt holes in human pockets with bills of electricity,
It stayed till the sun was cursed for being out there with AC's to help the well to do,
Yes it stayed there till it was the merciless month of June.

Summer then took over in July by burning animal & human skins alike,
It even did not spare a patch of cool water in the naked-barren lands,
It made animals cry & people kneel down and call for help,
Yes their calls weren't left unanswered and soon it was the rainy monsoon.

Monsoon - the rainy season lashes upon the oven hot land in August's end,
It eases the hot temperatures and releases peafowls in mating,
It even threatens to drown the ill-prepared cities of India by flood-waters,
Yes Mumbai is just one example of how Indian people want the autumn to come.

Autumn - the reliever from torrid showers,
It is an exception in the Indian season cycle,
It is neither that torrid monsoon before it nor is it the hostile winters succeeding it,
Yes it is a short calm time just before the winter season extreme in the north.

Winter season as we've learnt to call it in schools,
It sends chills down the spines of Indian people all over,
It is harsh only in the north but the other people simply don't have tolerance or genes,
Yes I love the beautiful winter season so what if once it nearly took my life while on trekking.
A rough description of the five main seasons in Indian season cycle, spring season extended over its timespan.
My HP Poem #269
©Atul Kaushal
Julius Nov 2012
Don't overthink, they say
How funny they are!
Don't they understand?
I'm too far gone,
Lost in the storm
Now I have to think about thinking
What will they pile upon me next?
Layer after layer of thought
Yes, with each new discovery
Must come a discovery of my previous ignorance
Tell me more!
My mind enquires!
I must know!
I must see fact!
All else makes me turn with thought
Writhe within the taut skin of unknowing
Yet with each puff of the bag
You impose isolation
My mind grows deeper
Gives me more space to lounge in
To cry in
I will hurt for an age
I'm already weighed upon
Already stuck inside a cage
I have built this around myself
You have not piled the bricks upon me
I asked,
Sought after every little thing to make my life a misery
Had I only stayed in the flowery patch beyond these walls
Ignored the problems which had me recede,
Away from the world
To hide behind confidence
(The confidence of knowledge)
Martin Narrod Feb 2014
Memory

     is  the birth of cool, it is rapture and ignominious spokesman unearthed. Packed into a slatted-wood crate, milking the obsession from cash-toting hands. Freeing itself from your bottom lip while life ticks itself away on a digital stock-exchange display. I am down and you are up, and you save pennies while I search for Chrysanthemums and vanilla-scented candles. Scent is my fifth grade spaceship,
     I hide it in my pocket and take it into the forest when the week is over. Adventure is the part of our story that's caught in between complaining about money and having clean sheets. Tuesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday my hands mend themselves back from bleach, their crevices cave under bright lights, I go to the garden strip and put dirt on my face, over my shoulders, and on my back. I make a altimeter from an alarm clock, and worry what will happen if your feet should ever touch the ground.
Relief
     is a sarcophagus, the satiny silk chrysalis I weave into invincibility. I make myself a small child with a demon-proof lair, no one comes in, not even you.  I see

     how drugs take out your heart and put you anew, fresh: orange, pink, ultramarine. A wave is a soft gesture for twilight, a slow walk among the greying statue towers, bliss extracted from person to person tedium. How you exclaim about **** music as if your temple home was unfocused by jazz or synth-electro.
     I forgot your room of quiet had no bells, no hope, and no notes of resolve. Tragedy was the desert of your six to sixteen, while I made an opus out of crystal glasses and Cran-Raspberry jars. Then it was the relief, Neptune's hands on your *******, red dots of ecstasy connecting you to a higher vibration. You felt it was time to start exercising. I didn't **** you for modifying your perception of color, degrading in a salt pool- I didn't own your ****** it was just a place I went into to write.
    
    Three years later. I was growing backward, I was sixteen, making you the muse in my doorway, a James Bond goddess unraveling my fingers on her silky skin, except your golden crown was really a turban of snakes, and instead of silk I was groveling underneath you. That was the sweat that Ryan Shultz said I garbled up into two pedestal doves, I aimed by eyes straight at the city of gold, and then inside me shucked out every piece of self-respect and vitrified my spirit, castrating my lips and my tongue for something to come to or come at, he said I lived under pointed stars and that lying isn't a good way to get over past phases of silence.

     A few days ago, it all game back to me, in a random series of songs on an iTunes playlist. One memory from an isolated beach outside a strawberry patch near Santa Cruz, a second, two hands cupped over the ears, my face closing in on her smoothed-out pink bottom lip on an over-exagerated car ride to the San Francisco airport, and the third was the mention of non-vegan banana cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, a birthday I celebrated several years earlier. All of them in the coda.
    
     Verse four unbelievable. It caught me straying from the next stressor at hand. What's next? I move my cold hands from a keyboard versing strange relapse of mind, or I tear out another page, whip across town, and peel stamps onto a postcard to send.
     They were all tails from a memory. A slowing ghost that cooed at me from far away, beating me up and down, pulling my eyes away from a scent I continually tried to remember.
Eliza Hale Mar 2018
Softly lit  sunsets and turning leaves
Little feet skip in a pumpkin patch
Crisp air causing goosebumps
Warm apple cider being sold batch after batch
I am gentle, just like autumn

Slick Ice and bitter air
Blizzards wreak havoc on little towns
Slush is thrown to street corners without care
I am fierce, just like winter

Cannonballs into clear cool water
Tan lines born out of hours in the sun
Road trips and bucket lists promise adventure
Long days with endless possibilities to come
I am exciting, just like summer

Light rain offers new like
Little buds turn brown into green
Glimpses of long awaited sunshine
Earth turns into an exquisitely painted scene
I am growing, just like spring
Tom Balch Oct 2018
"After Listening to an interview with Harry Patch (RIP)
I wrote this Tritina poem"

Painful Memories Forever

In solitude my mind drifts back to days so painful
and I recall with sadness those darkest memories
of dearest friends and comrades gone and lost forever.

Never will I forget! Their friendship is forever
although they are gone, please God long live those memories
however sad, however dark, however painful.

I sometimes smile and laugh out load at those memories
when we were young and thought that life would last forever
in the thick of battle I watched them die……..so painful,

and painful memories ´twould seem do last forever.
sinandpoems Jun 2013
I treaded through the snow
Lost no limbs
Heart thumping to the tempo of my feet
Step after step
My eyes as frozen as the foreboding tundra ahead of me
I stopped suddenly,
Eerily,
Legs stiffened like
The sporadic pale wheat stalks
growing fruitfully across my neck
I looked around
and suddenly found myself on the other side
ravished
with the devastation that the
Winder ruthlessly spread
using it's red nose
and
trembling fingers
Black solar eclipse
eyes
Pulsating
in and out
Teasing
time
Altering
Space and the earth and
your carnivorous smile your
red vine
lips
rosy cheeks blazing
with
temptation
the
red apple
the
cooing
goosebumps erupting on your
forearms
from the
devils
careful finger work
I thought it was intimacy
but it was only a
touch without thought
without feeling
without a
future
or
past
Some
moment that stood out
amongst the millions of others
that
lit up your Christmas trees
and
held your hand when you were sick
Said
the
I love you's
over and over
until my
Heart
was full
and
disgusted
over and over
Until I felt my stomach disintegrating
into soil that
can never be
fertile
for You
or Them
It's a
patch in a quilt that stays face down
cold and muddled
on the bed that
no human body
except yours
can sleep in
I see you,
trying to,
interpret the
tail coats of my words when you can't even find their source
Bathroom stalls
coated with my
guilt
Two flushes
hand washing
Thorough
You're
Thorough You
pick up your purse
the clink of the
gold chain
slaps the floor
You exit through the door
I'm
sweating profusely
and I
pray that if I fall down and onto the murky salmon tile it's only when I hear the faded clunk of your heels making their way down the hallway
Give me some god ****** dignity

gone

The god ****** dignity
you washed into the sink that
sits in front of my
mauve plastic bubble
just to
mock me

Salmon pink tile
that kissed the
fangs of a thousand vicious hees
Dead
in an era I wasn't even born into

The sun is in my hands and I have no more feelings
Arcassin B Apr 2015
by Arcassin Burnham


Teaching Our children,
Not to make the same mistakes we did,
putting anything at risk,
would be a ****** wound,
Or purple hearts,
in a war that we start,
I don't got other feelings other than what i embarked,
when we feel like we should quit,
haven't you heard the saying,
to always following your dreams,
but instead you follow other people,
that put you down,
that don't support you,
that uses peer pressure,
Down and Out desert You,
but you gotta get back up,
patch up that wound and get back on the horse,
less pressure for you,
we only got one life to live,
Might as well be true.
ab-saver.blogspot.com
Kinuha ako sandali upang malaman ang magagandang salita
palakihin ang ulan sa aking bintana
at seksing ngayon ay nasa tub ako na pinipigilan
ang on-sale na Bordeaux na nagkukunwaring
upang maiayos nang maayos ako ay nasa totoong iyon
jazz **** minsan tumatakbo ako sa mga kalye
minsan pinapatakbo nila ako ako ang katawan
ng reyna ng aking hood napunan
may masamang alak masamang gamot mu shu baboy
sakit beats ano pa ang masasabi ko sa iyo
Binubuksan ko ang aking mga naka-istilong binti Nakukuha ko ang aking swagger
pabalik hayaan ang mga lalaking may gintong ngipin na yumuko sa aking mga suso
at ang mga paltos sa aking mga paa ay nagiging kuryente ako
Ako ay isang patch ng damo ang mga mahigpit na ugat
tumawag ka sa bahay o kapatid kung nais mo
Maaari kong guluhin ang iyong mga mata na gumawa ng hip-hop na mamatay muli
Nasa babaeng babaeng **** ako bago ako mag-break
ang leeg ng bote ay ibinuhos ko ng kaunti: Nabagsak ako
Martin Narrod Apr 2015
And then they can't write anymore. They turn their faces dangling  hthreads. They are no fight and no three musketeer. There is no buddy system when you're playing for one, and your keyboard is pocked with burn marks from writing and falling asleep and writing and falling asleep; Apple and H have been missing and the Space Bar, V, and B are on their way out. The positives have become absolutelies. The women abandoned the children and their children, and dinosaurs have eaten the rest. Rest with the wicked and the wind and the women you black-tip reef shark of **** and dross and wickedness(x2), you scratch 'n' sniff barracuda for poor kitchen sink, outhouse, washer/dryer, and wet bar maintenance for a low-cost of ninety-nine dollars and nine cents; the joke is better when the numbers are written out in ink. It **** across teenagers better- that is what I mean. Nineteen year olds specifically, passion possessed, beautiful creators of 2008 and 2009. I should be about  ready to shuffle my feet, curl up my gray socks, and shepherd a Wheaties Box, donning a frog costume, with a homemade iron-on Jesus patch. It was in a box with some pogs and Michael Jordan Valentine's Day cards that I wrote to everyone that fit the profile for my Mother, at least until I turned nineteen. The magical age where even the catholic girls have found out that they're already going to hell-

-

I relive the natures of so many marauders from unclassifiable ***** that I can still taste in my mouth. Sometimes it's a fever other times it's my initials scribbled along the walls. Inquire and we'll dine, lie supine, intertwine; you can teach me about cooperative.

While you were once the queen in the body's sore sorts and blisters from insatiable bear. I'm ready to **** a lion. I'm attracted to your spine and the positions that we've lied in. The pleasure is square it's the shapes in between, non-existantly spinning me into despair. We have seen over one hundred thousand movies, we've had *** in a jacuzzi. You were the fabulous muse so bemuse me again, it's enough of shaving one leg to feel closer to you. There are a million effing elements that won' t seem to align. I'm sick and you're outstanding. We're supposed to be- I can't shut my eyes without seeing you smile, the shape of your mouth and the color of your hair.

I'm twisted up. My elbows shun me and I collapse even when I try to gather myself for walking. It's been years since I've heard
you talking. There must be a scientific law, just a clause that affirms I wasn't supposed to have purposely been given this, "*******."

My chits expired and I'm well over on my phone plan. You're the one that got me addicted to cologne, am I going extinct because I can't seem to hold anything down? The therapy hasn't worked, your therapist is a schmoozer, he's on a tract of trying to use her. Corroborating these lines of language that's died, it's so slow he sees someone himself.

Recently I learned a cure using cigarettes, Led Zeppelin, and liquid morphine, it rearranges my endorphins. I've tried very hard to support it, I've even been a good sport when I realize it's still ******* silent and you haven't called or wrote, or sent or shown me anything. Your poison is heavy. Isn't it time for me to **** the lion and go back home. When you go I'll go, when the shapes of our shadows and the dusts of our ghosts decide to go. When your face is placed on my nape and the house lights low, and I can breathe, and know that my world's other half brings all time to a slow crawl. There is some magic that can keep abright a dying star.
lions lies lying supine die death girl paloalto palo alto supplements hate love hateship loveship brtiniwest systematicdancefight britwest sf sfo sanfrancisco san francisco california Elizabeth is the only queen I see exist world earth muse bemuse amused musedandamused effing **** **** love sand beach theplateau themoonmen writing nabokov ****** loleeta loleetah missing mia hate love earth she her britniwest jacuzzi muses amused paloalto jamesfranco james franco you remember smoke drink *** **** starve hungry lonely alone solemn temper sad sadness anger remorse regret depressed depression searching seeking searchingforlove loveatfirstfight fighting lovers love iloveyoubritniwest @musedandamused @britwest I have never known more than five amazing people and of them you are the one who's face I never forget, who at 30 I have wet dreams of, who of over hundreds of loves lovers and people I've spent time with you are the only taste I have in my mouth.
Ottar Apr 2015
I know where womb
became breath of air
and I was born
in a hospital there,
place was north of flat,
with wind erosion,
Growing up was not easy I know
with glasses I was an
easy target, until I had single eye
surgery, muscle band
sutured, wore a patch for my pirate
eye, no sword in a hand,
I know what tetanus is and why I
had to get a shot,
Rusty nail through and through a
sneaker, hurt a lot,
I know first love and know too well
rejection, spread like
an infection through my life at that
time, unless I biked,
then the only ones faster than me were cars
and planes and trains
and birds, some dogs, other bigger kids
on bikes, this I know.

I know this is about to get repetitive.
I know how important a good goalie is in two sports.

I know what bullying was and bullying is,
I know that negative self talk is a disease, still looking for the cure.
I know I was once good, no GREAT at the Pursuit of Trivial things.
I know I have a short term photographic memory, what did I just say?

I know there is a difference between jokes and humour,
I know some-one who has cancer and tumours,
I know what it is to watch my child-ren be born, and
admit there is beauty in my part of creation.

I know
many things. I know what fitness is and what it isn't.  I know friends who have had eating disorders, and how it becomes their personality.

I know what it is to be an adult child when parents divorce,
I know what alcoholics behave like to live to drink another day and another and...

I know I graduated high school,
I know how to drive different vehicles,
I know how to operate from a motorcycle to heavy machinery
I know Cadets and I know Canadian Reserves.

I know what it is like to receive a dear Darrell letter, when many miles
are between, and young love, ends.

I know safety rules with weapons, I know how to properly salute,
I know I once knew how to build bridges in the company of many
men, we will call them Field Engineers, UBIQUE, and a unique lot
they were, I knew I was a jack of all trades there and master of none,
save one, I was a soldier first and an engineer second, now are we
ready for the explosives...

I know how to coach volleyball

I know marriage, I know that relationships are really all us humans
have of value, of value, I know how to rant a poem, I know communication and the frustration of speaking in the wrong tone,
I know to look for awe, I know that my house is cluttered, I know my dog is old, and though she is not spent yet, that day will come sooner,
and tears, those ******* tears will flow, it is just a **** dog, don't you know?

I know love.   I know respect is earned.

I know when a black cloud moves in and hangs around the head and heart of the one you love, it breaks the little bones in your ears, it pulls
hairs from your nose, it gives you aches and pains and drains the living
energy despite how much you pray it away or pray to be strong, or pray to accept it, or pray for her every waking hour, and too even if you just go along for the roller coaster ride of your lives.

I know Christ Jesus and Him Crucified,
not by anything I have done but by
the love of God for me.

Now you know what
I know and what I am
willing to share, there
is much more, for each of us, didn't you know?
Not very poetic, sorry about the repetition, I know I may not have done this write, quite right.To my credit I could edit this the rest of my life long.
POSSIBLE Dec 2023
Mumble Rappers be on something like:
"gotta bad *****...she ain't be walking righ°..."

Double-dipping,
No-stopping
Frames-dropping,
No-clipping,

wutta glitchy sight ..

I've been sitting super stealthy cypher.
I've been running with my do-or-die fir.

[Careful]

I would die for what
What you would eye for
Cloudy with the red eye
Insight, eyesore

I swore, pops, that I'd be different
Spec ops man, Mine's been misting

Foggy froggy frothing
when I spit distance

3eyes shifting
2Split  da difference

  Any1 asking Meh:
How have I been getting....?

Guru Minds have been sitting
squarely as a cube in cypher

Make mah breathes for human
CubanS matter as I decypher :

Life is living truth
or daring to choose to live
  or die for ...

Ai just a silly Scyth0r snipping sidebar sowings
  stow no baggage. That's what I'd be towing.

Rats staining, stinging
pocked and potent.

Out  of the Cabbage patch
that I've been growing

01011011 01111101 01111011 00101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 01010000 01110010 01100001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01101001 01110011 00101100 00001010 00100000 01101001 01110100 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110110 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100010 01101111 00100000 01100100 01100101 01101110 00101110 00101110 00101110 01111101 01111011 01011101

Sorry to be blunt, man
.... it's a sour twist,
Undid the trap mode
went too lavish

>> the-Gentle-Ghost-o'-ghetto
hopes at most to let go,
Building out hell bricks
Pave- too -close -to -level<<

it's all in the mental,
in the same lane stack

Shake a Lil when treble trains track,
Shake, shake when the train track,

shake shake, shake when it trains
shake when the trains track.

I swear, it's not a bad tick.
Just bring the brains back.

It's not a bad tick. Just get the brains back
it's not a bad tick. The brains back~

just bring the brains back
bring the brains back

Bear with me. >>Music turned up.
Are the windows cracked?<<

..............Who should have brought the show...vel? And the WAXWHALESTACK....................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.................................................................­.............................................................
The Black Book of Azathoth + The King In Yellow should not be read inside out and backwards.
jenny linsel Jan 2017
What will they do with Grandma, now that she is old?
No longer able to fend for herself, by her home-help they've been told
She's always been there for her children but now none of them want to know
Keeping a roof over all of their heads, not all that long ago

She's been the peacemaker for all of her kids, when relationships hit a bad patch
They've all forgotten just how much she did, though their partners she thought a mismatch
She put home-cooked food on their tables when their cupboards all were bare
Helped them to pay their bills, though none of them cared for her

She cooked them all good hearty meals, served them up on their own table
Sometimes she went without food herself, putting them first when she was able
Often she would dread the ringing of the phone
A sound that would usually be welcomed by someone who lived alone

But whenever her phone rang, she would feel very daunted
Wondering who the caller was, and what it was they wanted,
Would it be for money or babysitting duties?
Or maybe her knitting skills, making numerous pairs of booties

Grandma had to live somewhere but refused to go into a home
Frail and unable now to live on her own
Jim was asked to take her in, but he said that he couldn't
He'd always been a selfish man, it was more likely that he wouldn't

Katie said she had no room, but conveniently forgot to mention
That her husband, a bricklayer, had just built a new extension
So it was decided, Grandma would go into a home
The family went around and told her, she could no longer live alone

The greedy lots inheritance in their minds was already spent
But every penny that Grandma had saved, for her keep at the care home it went
Grandma did all sorts for her family, so she couldn’t understand
Why now she's in a care home they never go nearhand,

We now know of Grandma's fate, her story has been told
A lifetime of caring for family, unwanted because she got old
Life's a Beach Jan 2014
Shoot up with Ink,
Take off the edge,
allow it to float you
down off the ledge
of destruction.

Instead place yourself
in reconstruction,
go on,
change it all;

Skin
Words
Thoughts

This drug may crawl you back to freedom

First the skin, cut to within
Slithers of scratches
Skim over your arm
doing just enough harm
To Ensure you're alive
Yet this pen's marks are
harmless enough
that they can only reach inside through your mind

You're sure to survive
you must never cut deeper
A needless nicotine patch
for a virginal physical self-harmer
Cut yourself Calmer

Here come the words,
allow verbs, vowels and nouns
to sound their way out
Say things you wish you'd said
Type things you want to shout
Find the door and safety lock
and force your way
bound out

You are Alone
but for whispered, mouthed and subtle
tone of Freedom

Relish and Revel
Search your way to hell
out here
Find the things so close,
so near,
you couldn't see them if you
tried,
they hide behind the ink.
Blink, they're gone,
splattered in the lyrics
to a lifelong song,
branded.

How could something so true, be wrong?

Allow your thoughts to be free,
be you, be me
See everything
Feel all,
Stall as you wait for the buzz to fade
You can never be sated with this
Something you can't recall
but you must always miss.

Addictions scarring, marring and barring
words always a
kiss
away from overdose,
it's so close you can taste it
Feel it's breath

When you put the pen
down

You can only feel

Bereft,
so test yourself again
Find the mental vein and
slice it open

Feel the pain of truth
Open the roof of your skull
and allow the clock to fall
Ticking
to silence
Violent peace
Calm chaos

Hyperbole
Alliteration
Oxymoronic
Nouns
Verbs
Words
Words
­Words
Think
ThInk
hInk
Ink

Ink
InkInk
InkInkInk
InkInkInkInk
InkInk
I wanted the last bit to look like an Ink drop, but I'm not sure it worked.
Jack Jenkins May 2016
Patch over holes in my weakened heart
That angels hold together
And devils pull apart

I'm the beast in you
The beast in me
The bitterness, the jealousy
Lyric excerpt from Passenger's song "Wicked Man's Rest." Link for the song is below.

https://m.youtube.com/?#/watch?v=p_0uIbx4IqE
Tom McCone Mar 2014
dunedin. friday, three, afternoon.
set from home under a blue sky
with full& prepared pack,
a somewhat empty stomach,
and a necessity to get away from the city.
hiking boots tread asphalt down to the depot,
where, in thirty-seven minutes punctuated
by plastic seats grafted to a wall
and a mildly disjunct group of small or
big-time travellers, the naked bus
pulled in, a hematite centipede
crawling into the lot. it was a bus,
no complaints. all others' bags
stowed, twenty seven bucks outta pocket
and swung into the front-right-window seat,
bid a farewell to the beat-down
pub across the road and onto the one-way
merging into a highway and outta
town the dark bug skittered, on
schedule or something resembling it.
behind the driver, the sun came through
around the beam in the window. warm patterns
laid on skin, the countryside's broad expanse:

cylindrical bales of hay scattered about
paddocks, dark late-autumn florets of flax
on roadsides, plumes of white smoke from
bonfires in townships as small as a thumbnail,
hedgelines of eucalyptus, pine; russet streaks
through bark of single gum trees stood
off-centre in fields. sticky-wooded hillsides
punctured by fire breaks roll almost forever
and back. the rushing sound of passing cars
through the 3/4-golden ratio of the driver's
ajar window; twenty-first century mansions
verging on out-of-place. saplings emerging,
bracketed, through verdant grass patches.
museum abbatoirs. toitoi like hen's plumage
lining drainage ditches. another Elizabeth st-
(how many could be counted out by now?) tidy
front yards and milton liquorland through this
small town. an everpresent tilting sun. fields
of flowered nettle. s-bends through pancake layers
of hills. a delapidated gravel quarry at stony
creek. deer farms, sheep farms, bovine farms, alpaca
farms (favourite); another bonfire seen down a
long gulley; a power substation, all organized
tangles. a two-four 300m before the bridge into


balclutha. 4.40pm.
across the road into the i-site
two friendly ladies circle locations
to make (got a car) or try to make (on foot),
offering a ride in half an hour,
leave it to chance.
across another road, drifter's emporium
(that's the name, no joke) got a knife
to open up cans- bought no cans, brought
no cans, still nice to have one anyway.
down the road, 200ml from unichem, waste
no time, turn ninety degrees, cross a
railway, then outta town in a sec. first
photo: half highway, half clutha river. fine
shot. sit down, watch the water couple mins,
head down the road. red-black ferns radiate
under willows down the riverbank. metal
bumper-bars keep legs on, the road rolls
gentle turns, diverges from the river. stick
to the former, faster that way. no intentions
of hitching. just wanna walk. and walk. and
walk. guy yells out a car window. envy,
likely. who cares. apple tree hangs over
a dry ditch. pick a small one, gone in
a minute. probably ain't sprayed. been
eating ice-cream dinners more often'n
not the last coupla weeks- isn't much
the stomach won't or can't handle anymore,
anyway.

odours of decay from the freezing works.
seagulls sound out nearby.
typical.

down the road, the reek of death fades
out. back to grass. sit in some of the
tall stuff, under a spindly tree. put down
some ink, a handful of asst. nuts. 'bout
thirteen fingers of daylight left. no idea
if the coast is further than that. little
care. down the road the land flattens out,
decent sign. the junction was a fair bit
past reckoned, though. flipped a chunk
of bark (too lazy to get a coin out) to
figure whether the coast was worth it. bark
said no, went out anyway. gotta see the sea,
keeps you sane. past a lush native
acre or two- some lucky ******'s front lawn-
changed mentality, slung out a thumb (first
time). beginner's luck, kid straight outta
seventh form pulls over in a mustard-yellow
*******' kinda beach-van. was headin' out
to the coast, funnily enough. had been up
in raglan (surf central, nz), back down with
the 'rents now, though. out kaka point, only
one of his age, he reckoned, no schoolhouse
there, just olds. was going to surf academy,
pretty apt. little envious.

the plains spread out and out, ocean just
rose up out of a field. there's nothing
more perfect. gentle waves stroke the sands,
houses stare intently out at the mingling of
blues. one cloud hovers so far away it doesn't
even exist. down the other end of kaka point,
back on solid ground, walking into a gorge, laments
about not choosing the coastal route. but owaka
is the new destination, bout 11ks, give or take
(5ks later, sign says another 15.. some give). nothing
coulda beat that sight anyway, stepping outta
a van onto that pristine beach.

entry: gorge route to owaka. seven.
late light painted the tops of hills absolute
gold. thought maybe this way ain't so bad. beside a
converging valley, phone got enough reception
for dad to get through. said in balclutha coulda
got a room with a colleague. too far out now. lost
him in the middle of a sentence about camera film.
surprised to have even got that far. road wound
troughlike through the bottom of the gorge, became
parallel to a cute little stream. climbed down chickenwire
holding the road in place, ****** in it (had to).
clambered back up, continued walking as the occasional
campervan rolled on by. took a photo of the sun perched
on a hilltop, sent it to mel. dunno why. anxieties
over the perfect sunrise picture came frequently,
a goal become turmoil. the gorge flattened out,
and soon in countryside my fears allayed. round
a corner in picturesque nowhere, found my shot.
sat in long grass. stole it. sighed. ate a handful
of nuts. moved on. {about eight}

dark consumed the surrounding gentle-rolling hills,
nowhere near owaka, which was probably the tiny bundle
of lights nestling a little below the foot of a
mountain in the distance (not too far off, in
reality). near the turnoff to surat bay (was heading
there, plans change) a ute honks. taken as friendly.
a right turn instead of a left, farmsteads lit
up in fireplace tones, the sound cows make at
dusk. it got colder. would one jersey be sufficient?
hoepfully. stars began pinpricking the royal blues of the
night sky in its opening hues. eight-fourty-ish slugged
back about 3/4 of the syrup, along with half of a box
of fruit medley (so **** delicious), in light of dull
calf aches becoming increasingly apparent. needed
to walk a helluva lot more. ain't one for lettin'
nothing get in the way of that. lights in the distance
became the entry sign for a camp-site. no interest,
head on. past another farmhouse, stars came out in
packs. three cows upon a slight hilltop. next junction
pulled left a good eighty degrees and was on the
straight to owaka. less than two minutes later,
a dog-ute pulled to a halt and offers up a ride down
most of the stretch. didn't say no.

still stable, as two pig-hunters tell
of their drive back from picking up a couple
pig-dogs somewhere north. they were heading
out bush to shoot, thought they'd seen
another guy they'd picked up a couple weeks
ago, who'd taken 'em out somewhere they
couldn't remember. paranoia grips, but
the lads are fairly innocuous. they say it's
dangerous out here, gotta be ballsy walking
middle of the night, no gun, no dog,
all by yourself. wasn't worried, got nothing
to lose anyway (still, this sets helluva
mood). by a turnoff a k outta owaka, dropped
off. said probably all that'll be open there
is a pub, if that. bid luck and set their way.
above, the whole sky is covered with shining
glitter. down a dip and turn, **** in the
middle of the road. an ominous sign indicating
the outskirts of

owaka. approximately 9.40pm

my head loosens as i approach. the lights
form across a small valley i can't verify
exists or not between dog barks i mistake
for the yells of drunkards and lights
pirouetting from cars behind me. i slow
down i don't want to do this.

owaka is terrifying. plastic.

the street corners thud like cardboard. i
walk past a garden of teapots, a computer
screen inside the house glares through the
window pane bending breathing outward. there
is nobody here, still there is a feeling
like there's people everywhere, flocking
in shadows. a silhouette moving in a
distant cafe doorway. the sound of teeth,
of darkness fallen. thick russian tones
sound from a shelf of a motel. eyes
everywhere, mostly mine. i stop only round
a bend and down near a police station, yet
feeling no more safe, sitting in a gutter to
send mel my plans, to tell myself my plans.
i want to be nowhere again. i am soon nowhere.


out of breath, out the other end of owaka,
the sick streetlights fade into comforting
dark nestled between bunches of indistinct
treelines. the feeling of safety lasts but
twenty minutes, where another dip in the
road leads through a patch of bush, in which
gunshots ring periodically and laughter and
barking rings through. breaking down, it takes
five minutes to resolve and keep going. ain't
got nothing to lose, anyway. boots squeak like
diseased hinges all down the road. hadn't
noticed beforehand, the only thing noticed
now. an impending doom hangs thick like fog,
the thought of being strung up like an
underweight hog. walking faster and
not much quieter, the other side of the
bush couldn't have come sooner. the fear
lasts until the gunshots are distant nothing.
still alive, still out of breath, still
fairly ****** up, there's no comfort like the
sound of nothing but the occasional insect's
chirp. vestiges of still water came around
a corner and just kept coming as the golden
moon sung serenity all over. finally, a peace
came to rest over the landscape. sitting by
the road with a clear view of the moon's light
sheathed in the waters, the stars above wreath
a cirrus eye to watch over the marshland
plants leading into the placid waters of

catlins lake, west. ten fifty-one.
crossing a one-way bridge over a river winding
its way into the lake, another turning point
decision arose: continue down the highway
along the river, or head straight out and
toward the coast again. having resolved to
make it to a waterfall by dawn, and the latter
offering a possibility of this, the decision
made itself. turning back around the other side
of the lake, the road wound a couple times
up a gentle ***** out and up from the valley
at the tail of the lake, and into a slightly
more elevated valley. the country roads ran
easily and smooth, paved roughly but solid.
not a car came by for kilometers at a time.
lay on the road past a turnoff for quarter
of an hour letting serenity wash over, the
hills miniscule in comparison to home, the
sky motionless, massive thin halo about the
moon. walking on, night-birds called from
time to time (no moreporks, though. not until
dawn), figuring out how to whistle them back.
a turnoff to purakaunui bay strongly
considered and ultimately ignored; retrospectively
a great call, considering the size of the detour.
hedgerows of macrocarpa, limbs clearly cut
haphazard where once they'd hung over the
road. occasional 4wd passing, always a 4wd,
be it flash new or trusty old. you'd need
one out here. have no fun, otherwise.
monolithic pine-ish hedge bushes, squatting
giants. once, a glimmering in the sky, a
plane from queenstown (assumedly) almost
way too far to make out. the colossus of
the one human-shaped shadow cast down
from the moon to my boots. how small
a thing in this place. swamped out by
the beauty of this neverending valley.
breathless.

the road turned, not quite a hairpin,
but not entirely bluntly, a welcome
break from the straight or gentle
sway, and five minutes turned to dirt.
had to lay down again- legs screaming
by this point for rest. still, they
had nothing against pressing on. dad
taught me to just keep going. that's
the thing about walking. stop for a
little bit and you're good to go
again. pushing for the fall was probably
overkill, but no worry now. dirt road
felt so right after a good 20+ks of
asphalt, only infrequently punctuated
by roadside moss or thin grass. it
was as if beginning again (well,
kinda, if only with as much energy).
having downed only a litre of water
(leaving only half a litre more), a
litre of fruit juice and about 100
grams of assorted nuts since more
than twelve hours ago by this point,
it should have been a shock to
still be going by this point. don't
really need that much anyway, though.
gone on less for longer. hydration,
anyway, was the least of all worries,
the air being thick with water, ground
fog having been laid down hours ago.

up the dirt track, more cows. they make strange
sounds at night. didn't know anything yet,
though. that's still to come. a ute swang past
going the other way, indiscriminate hollers
from the passenger-side window. waved back
cheerily. so far from anything to be anything
but upbeat now. not even the heavy shroud of
tiredness could touch that, yet. the track wound
on forever. was stopping every half-kilometer
to stand and stretch, warding off the oncoming
aches. the onset was unwieldy, though. didn't
have long. past a B&B;, wondered whether anyone
actually ever stayed there (surely would, who'd
not revisit this place over and over once they'd
discovered it?)- certainly would've, having the
cash (apparently parts of "lion, witch and the
wardrobe" were filmed here. huh). further on, the
road turned back to seal, unfortunately, but
with small promise- surely, at least fairly
close by this point. turning a corner, a small
and infinitely beautiful indent against the bush,
a small paddock bunched up against it, stream
wound against the bases of trees, all lit by
the clear tones of a now unswathed moon, sat
aside the road. it was distilled perfection.
it was too much, just had to keep goin' or
risk shattering that image. next turn was
a set of DOC toilets, an excellent sign. must be
basically sitting on the path entry now. searched
all 'round the back for it, up the road, nothing.
not entirely despondent but bewildered, moved
forward and found a signpost. the falls were now
behind? turned around and searched even more
thoroughly, quiet hope turning to desperation
by the silent light of the moon. finally,
straight across the road from the toilets,
was the green and gold sign, cloaked in
darkness under clustering trees, professing
a ten-minute bushwalk to the

purakaunui falls. saturday. 1.32 am.**
venturing into the bush by the dull light
of a screen of a dying phone, the breeze
made small movements through the canopy. it
couldn't have been any more tranquil. edging
way through the winding cliffish track through
dense brush, the sound of a trickling stream
engorged into a lush symphony of water. crossing
a single-sided bridge across an unseeable chasm,
twinkling from the ferns behind became apparent.
turning off the dull light, the tiny neon bulbs of
glow-worms littered the dirt wall risen up about
half a metre, where the track had been cut out.
my heart soared. all heights of beauty come
together. continuing down the path, glow-worms
litter the surroundings and the rushing of
water comes to a roar. at a look-out platform
above the falls, nothing can be seen save a
slight glisten. down perilous steps (wouldn't
be too bad if you could actually see 'em) the
final viewing platform lay at level with the
bottom of the falls. they stood like a statue
in the dark, winding trails of thin white wash
through the shadows hung under trees. left
speechless from something hardly made out, turned
around and back up the stairs to where the
glowing dots seemed their most concentrated.
into the ferns above, clambered through and
around moss-painted tree trunks and came to rest
a couple hundred metres from the trail, under
a fern, under a rata. packed everything but
a blanket from nan into the bag, laid it out
on curled leaf litter and folded up into it,
feet too sore to remove 'em from boots, curling
knees up into the blanket and tucking a hand
between 'em to keep it warm. only face and
ankles exposed, watched the moon's light trickle
through canopy layers for a few hours, readjusting
tendons in legs as they came to ache. sleep (or
something resembling it) set in, somewhere
around four.

some time slightly before six, the realisation
that my legs had extended and become so cold that
they'd started cramping all the way through hit,
coupled with the sounds coming through the bush.
thank you, if you made it all the way through :>
Christina Fox Feb 2014
They start small, the cracks.
So small you barely feel them.
But gradually,
they set in,
growing larger each day.
So the cracks are no longer cracks,
they're fissures,
then valleys,
until there are hundreds of
Marianas Trenches
criss-crossing your heart.

Your patch work is useless.
You can't tell their beginning from their end.
The only option left is to
live with them
and wonder
how your heart manages to beat,
how your lungs fill with air,
how your legs can still propel you forward
when you feel like you're
suspended in time.

— The End —