"mearly" poems
With this pen, I paint an image of you.
Not a portrait, but a true portrayal of you.
The ink flows into words that dance across your hair.
The end of each sentence marking a cross that you bear.
A painting would be suitable for some.
With beautiful colors, cascading down on you from above.
But, those colors mearly hide the truth behind your smile.
With the right shade of light and a light smear, it becomes a cosmetic fix for a while.
My words flow through every crack and fill every shadow.
They bring all light to the surface, for the reader to see within the shallows.
The image of you that I create can be vivid and great.
But with this pen, my words can also design your fate.
You see the truth here is that my words hold all truth.
They leave no place for lies to hide, with each word holding proof.
In the readers eyes, my words are you…
With this pen, I can create you…
With this pen, I can finish you...
- Brandon K. Stephenson
Mar 9, 2015
Mar 9, 2015 at 7:06 AM UTC
Remember what we looked like before we saw?
Remember how we saw,
before we achieved?
Remember the perseptions.
Remember how we understood.
We were infinite.
We understood.
We were connected.
Unexplainable realms,
divided our thoughts
yet the vibes brought us back
to the place that we wanted to be.
In circles these waves of wind wind.
Around all our internal states.
The few external traits,
picked up from only a few trained ears and eyes.
Perception has changed.
We look at this
connection
differently than what we could mearly just see before.
Now it's something more.
Spiritually and physically
more compelling
than anything that one could only just simply visualize.
You'd have to experience.
You'd have to feel.
This connection.
Those sources of understanding,
that bring us back
into the very same thought
that we first began with.
The circular path.
We call life.
It all just leads
to the same questioning
there was
when we first began asking the questions.
So why would we keep asking them?
It seems pointless to keep wondering
about how much something matters.
When in reality
it's not how much it matters to you.
But how much it meant to them. ...and this is what shrooms have taught us....
Jan 13, 2014
Jan 13, 2014 at 4:35 PM UTC
I slink through life with tired limbs,
Like a zombie that has no need to eat flesh,
just shuffle around with to much baggage to hold.
I seem lifeless but I can still feel,
I feel Anger, sadness,fear,betrayals, and pain,
And most the things I can't control I hide.
I feel so dead mearly a shell of what was; hallow.
I miss who I was strong, and confident,
Carefree;Skipping over the bad rejoiceing the good
My life was beautiful, as was my attitude.
My wonderful life was like a polished wood chair,
Strong and steady that chair stood along the others
Pain like sandpaper on my life taking the finish off,
After a little while I was left bare vulnerable.
I could call out for help, but what would that do?
It would make me susceptible to judgment,
So I curl up and cry like every night, soon
Passing out in a damp mess of mascara.
Day after day a routine I hate to fallowing,
But what choice do I have I don't want you to see.
I'll be alright alone I always am,
The nightmares I have no longer faze me,
The only things that pains me anymore are,
The memories that never fade.
So I let myself drift along the wave of expectations.
Oct 2, 2012
Oct 2, 2012 at 7:19 PM UTC
Take me another drive in memories. Washed by the thousand fallen tears in Toki's fur.
Would you help pull it away? My raining blood of so called stupidity?
I'll hide away so you won't leave just yet
We're mearly just two souls trying not to die alone
With a chokehold of established reality
And pretend together. I love you.
Nov 22, 2014
Nov 22, 2014 at 5:16 AM UTC
So many thoughts
Leading me to an equation I am not yet ready to understand
But I stand
As a being,Confused in my suffering
It's not something that lit the spark,that would eventually burst into flames
My mind cannot be tamed
Leaving my head stripped,I felt raw, I was ripped,to shreds ,nearly dead
So I read,I read,and I read
Anything to stop the self destructive cycle
For the lack of understanding keeps me contemplating,wondering,seeking ,reading
There was no event that lead me to be a certain way
I've been hiding myself away,a place I forced myself to stay,
As I was peeking thru the cave, the one which I kept myself enslaved
I caved, I said **** this cave
There shall be no more slave
I make it sound simple,as if just a ripple,
I do wish it was that simple,
It's part of who I am
This pain, I did not train
Some say there's no gain
I mustn't refrain
I disagree completely
I have grown quite uniquely
I can't control the wiring ,I've tried,it's much to tiring
That's when I found my cave, the one which I've been enslaved
Years in this cave,fears In this cave,tears in this cave,
A world in which i was Being perceived as my exterior , left me brutally decayd
I regained my awkward wiring,
Still , no one knows my interior, not smug, nor a thought that I am superior ,I am mearly interior
I use mearly with great clemency,as if its simplicity
Perceive me as you will
I dress the way I feel
Equations are my thrill,
As my hands are clinging to the edges of my ribs,where I sit perceiving the outside world,
Wondering,
Am I the only one hidin within myself?
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 6:16 PM UTC
At 31 long years old
I find myself trying to redescover myself.
I say redescover as if I ever
really knew who I was before,
who I am, what purpose I serve.
It's a harsh reality as I stand here,
the dark of night enveloping itself
around me,
******* the toxins from my cancer stick,
as if life or death was worth the gamble..
Good health vs bad health
Puff, puff, puff away.
Smoke my troubles away.
A couple of glasses too many,
red wine absorbed into my blood system,
Warming my inner core,
Heating me from the inside out.
Takes the edge off.
Apparently.
Reality slowly distorting, the fresh air hitting me
I can't help feeling unsure.
Unsure of the unknown,
whats to know?
All I do know is that I'm lost
and I have been for a long time.
My whole life maybe.
What is,
what has been,
what's still to come
are just chapters of this harsh reality
this life that I'm living...
I'm mearly existing,
just being.
Someone,
anyone,
Dragging myself onwards
day by day,
minute by minute,
second by second.
Not every day is a struggle
But the ones that are
Have mastered the art of
Stealing the limelight
Taking center stage,
Forget the good and
Let the bad consume me.
Inhale me like I do the nicotine.
Am I afraid?
I don't know.
There's not much I am certain of anymore.
I used to write with meaning,
with purpose,
for a reason.
Emotion poured out of my every pore,
now?
I find myself writing
for the sake of writing.
I've lost myself,
lost my words.
I do know one thing,
all I've ever wanted to be is loved.
That raw deep love that
knows no boundaries
The type where you can talk for hours
and it seems like seconds
Never bored, never judged, no effort needed because when it comes
it's served effortlessly, with ease
Effortless natural love
I don't love myself as much as I should,
I know that.
I've always known that but
I've always hoped that someone else
might just love me as much as
I love everybody else.
Maybe at this point in life
I have too much to say,
too much to deal with,
too many emotions which I'm
too scared to show you.
You;
Whoever you may be.
I'm scared you'll judge me because
if truth be told..
if I wasn't me,
I'd judge me too.
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 6:26 PM UTC
I love her that's so insane
I love a woman with an amazing name
She thinks that I left was mearly a game
I really did love her to an extent she will never know from where it came
I gave her my heart my soul but to her it was all the same
I eat and drink and wake up every morning to the sound of her name
I want to hear that voice that disrupted my bones frame
You burnt my heart into flames
You caused me an unhealing maim
I still love you despite all the hurt and pain
Loving you and treating you like a queen is my aim
Nov 13, 2015
Nov 13, 2015 at 5:43 AM UTC
Please don't
Broken bits don't get to go home,
Shatterd skulls no longer yaw
Skin cut and flayed does not fall.
Mearly drips,
The essence of my life flows.
I am in less control of this.
Then a river controls its bends
Jun 8, 2015
Jun 8, 2015 at 8:00 AM UTC
I think I may have fathered 4
But only one legitimately
And it ripped me 2 the core
when she took him away from me
Yes, I've been a father
'though I've never raised a one
So as with each year
I'll not receive a card
or call, not a single one
Sometimes I think,
I may have missed out
But I would have raised
anyone of them
with out a dought
And so, I've lived my life
wondering who & where
they are?
I wonder if I'll ever meet them?
Or will they mearly remain
one of my scares?
As I ponder this
upon this Sunday
I sit alone
upon my throne
Hoping I can make the mortgage
so I won't loss my home
I know the phone won't ring
and no cards will come
So I should get off my ***
and get something done
Instead of writing poetry
to escape from other things
I should think of today
as just a Sunday
and not think of Monday
and horrors it will bring
So 4 those fathers
who get the calls & cards
from all those sons & daughters
even though their lives are hard
I hopeU don't find it a bother
have a great one, with my regards
Jun 20, 2010
Jun 20, 2010 at 9:36 AM UTC
The missing takes hold gripping like a noose
The words choked out of existence
A blink of thought
Like trying to catch words of thunder flashing through rolling clouds
Waiting for the deluge of word soaked verse only to watch it Roll by overhead
without a drop off to nourish some other poets pen.
Life churns the seas of revelations
but the waves won't let me catch a breath for a beat.
Dry pen, parched paper and a world to soak in inches from the shore
A shipwreck smothered by the sand
I count the stars instead
An estimate in a glance
As I Think of the endless possibilities
And how insignificant I am
That the words that i have captured
Remain the legacy of what there is
When of words there is nothing to gain
But the release of joy and pain
Into the universe
and if not written will not remain.
Then I am but a blink of ink that mearly left a smudge
Barely enough to stain.
Feb 21, 2019
Feb 21, 2019 at 8:40 AM UTC
A lonely melody played in slow motion,
flashbacks of laughter and words unspoken,
a haunting memory of hearts being broken,
I am a fish swimming in my own ocean,
fists tightened and heart ready for devotion,
with that lonely melody tearing me open,
veins of fire with loves potion,
a boy and a girl and a life chosen,
you can't contain the purest emotion,
a lonely melody will always been golden,
once the course is set and guns are loaded,
love cannot be destroyed or mearly stolen,
it is the one true token,
so hold fast to your love and cherish the moment,
after all that lonely melody can turn to a poem.
Aug 22, 2017
Aug 22, 2017 at 4:46 PM UTC
Love, if I cry it will not matter,
If I weep you will not suffer.
Honey, when you laugh; I do not care
and when you flinch, I do not move.
Death, Yes you! Take my husband well,
For he is none more than the word pitiful.
Unto thine I am a classic material-
Mearly here for thine image.
Unto thine woed, am I?
For I do not blink
and not do I smile;
I am far past filled by thine not feeling.
I am a cotton dropped on floor-
soaking in everything I touch,
Everything I breathe;
Whilst feeling any feeling at all.
I am a whiteboard marker pen, getting used up daily dry.
I am salt in the bath-
slowly disolving,gone.
I am the darkness in the night,
Giving way to another day.
May 15, 2014
May 15, 2014 at 3:15 AM UTC
Timetabled automobiles
run to deliver the places
much like ****** functions
so the city operates
Many a face is graced in these moving shared spaces
a rareity in the city
where we move indoors to be nimble and warm
when the weather is adorned with low hung clouds or sometimes bright clear days that come from mornings of mist and grey minded melenchony damp.
Turtle - by the name Horace
what some would call a black boy
or something but i’ve never seen a thing so foolish -
the blackness
if one would read between the lines to the connottions of what race is
,
is mearly the opposite to the void
brimming to the full
i’m not sure if either is better
since i’m of mixed origin ,but to be honest ,
what would the fullness be in if it was not the void ( ? )
This example is everywhere
the human body
the planets that hang in the stars emptiness
or even on the macro cosmic scale
Well , well , well - the universe does it again
playing games
with mind made names
and simple syncronicites
say an awful lot
i don’t really - really - really - really - really - (hate=strongly dislike) may things
but here are a few
People who know things , that will help other people but don’t say it and instead belittle them because that’s an easier way to fuel their own self worth because somthing proberbly happned in their life that ****** them up because i was one of those people and i hated myself for it , i hated myself for not being skinny and caring what other people think , and being this or that does it matter any more? is that not that?
Lucozade
Somethings i really- really-really-really-really (love= strongly love)
Bagels with peanut butter and honey and raspberries
friends.
Sep 20, 2013
Sep 20, 2013 at 5:41 PM UTC
We have this notion that time is rigid
that time is a solo tick of a clock's second hand
or mearly the grain dropped into the hourglasses bottom
that the day needs to be broken down
that the night slips on by the hours escape us as we escape to lands of mystery and fog
but sometimes i love this about humans , i love that we like things neat and tidy ,
we're like ants - collecting for the colony although we seem to have lost the way back to the community centre
we're taking all we've found and putting it away in groups of 2 and 3 and 4 expecting to build hives that can outlast a rainstorm.
But here's the funny thing ,
sometimes i live in 3000 years past future present
and this confuses some people
who still believe that time is liner.
Once more i would like to point out the sorry truth that , whomever controlled the time -
would control us all
now who sets the clocks back??
Not me....
So i've set all mine forwards
some would call me a hoarder but i think i'm just taking back what is rightfully mine...
Nov 11, 2013
Nov 11, 2013 at 10:04 PM UTC
Today I close a chapter
Not with a happy ending
Or with miraculous love
I close a chapter of lies
With deep sorrow
And undying loss
I close a chapter of pain
With hope to survive
Mending a restiched heart
Ive re-read this chapter
To an utmost fault
To where I could recite it by heart
With childish dreams of a different story
I close my eyes tight
And pray for the ending ive always wanted
But I am not the author
Nor the story teller
Mearly the character
I love you
I miss you
The end.
Oct 13, 2013
Oct 13, 2013 at 9:54 PM UTC
My mouths speaks words i did not intend
Why do I stand infront of you and pretend, that all I need is this?
The lies come easier these days, so quickly we release our old ways.
Theres no reason for this, not too long ago i would have been happy with kind words and a kiss.
So quickly this world can alter, never did i believe i'd be the one to falter
Words no longer offer reasurance that this might last, they mearly resurect deamons of the past...
Sep 8, 2010
Sep 8, 2010 at 4:46 PM UTC
I will move forward
I will move on, I will not be beat down
I will not be broken or bruised.
I will not stop, I will trudge on no matter what
lay ahead around the shadowed corner.
I will venture forth the world to gain,
nothing to slow me down.
I am not the victim nor will
I play the antagonist.
I am my own hero, I will save me from
myself and I will not play the protagonist.
I play only the part I wish never the part
Im given and only the part
I want to play at that time.
I am my own person and no one can or
will ever change the me I wnat to be for me.
I can take on the world or watch it all go by.
You see thats my choice
not yours to make for me,
for fear of the unknown or
for fear of what cant be seen.
I refuse to live in the fear that binds you because
I refuse to be bound by fear or controlled
by what consumes you, your hate your only friend.
I am not your enemy, I dont want to fight you
and would rather be left alone .
I am not here to take over
or to usurp your power of position
or your stature among warriors.
I am no threat to you but please
do not misunderstand me, I will not bow down.
I will not kiss your feet
I will not kneel at your the sound of your coming.
I will not throw myself at your feet
for you to gain power over me.
You control me no more than you control your goldfish,
Im not your slave not your servant.
I am my own man,
My own being, My own person,
I am not afraid of you nor should you be afraid of me.
I will help you if I can
but expect nothing in return.
I help mearly for the enjoyment of helping.
I am who I am because of all of the singular events in my life
both as a child and as
I continue to age that have shaped me.
I am who I am because of the choices
Ive made that have put me where I am now.
Like me or Hate me I am Me.
I never asked you your opinion so
I will thank you to keep it to yourself.
I never gave you my opinion but
if youd like I can I can even promise you wont like it.
I never said I liked you
or wanted to be your pal
so get out of my face I beg of you.
I never said I hated you or that you where my enemy
so please if you like say hello
but I dont promise to say hello back.
I never said I wanted to make your company
but if you must know
my name is whoever I chose to be at that time.
No really I enjoy your company,
come on over any time just
dont expect me to be your best friend
or to be the most welcoming host.
I am who I am because I like me the way I am,
If you dont like me that way then
I dont need you as a friend.
Nov 29, 2010
Nov 29, 2010 at 4:24 PM UTC
Back in the summer when strong mist filled the air
Birds call filling the sky, excitement, without a care
but something still felt off, black, bitter and receding
heartbroken I knew it was lack of love that I was feeling.
Open stretched arms to hug a face that I had forgotten
I tried to hold your hand before it disappeared but I must have dropped it,
Because you sank into the crowd just another woman in the streets and my body became lifeless like a carcass before a feast.
To my realization after everyone had gone
Only I would have known this after I became alone
That to my horrible yet obscure disbelieve,
The woman I dreamt of was mearly a dream.
Mar 4, 2018
Mar 4, 2018 at 9:39 PM UTC
Love is mearly just a dream that very few can make reality, and if they can make it a reality, its a dangerous game that most people dont survive
May 31, 2013
May 31, 2013 at 9:28 AM UTC
I want to be intertwined with you
As a trees roots are with the earth
A bird with the wind
As the sun and the moon
A trees roots run deep into the earth
As you find the deepest parts of me that I never let others see.
A bird falls without wind to carry it , I fell for you faster than imagined but surprisingly you my wind caught me, and sent me soaring with a kiss.
The sun and moon have been compared millions of times but I won’t bother comparing you to the sun or moon because you’re beauty surpasses both. You say you can’t see it but you shine so bright that you mearly bind yourself when looking in the mirror. I’m your moon not nearly a reflection of how much you shine. I only reflect your light so that the people can look forward to you.
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 9:30 PM UTC
I do things that people consider wierd, but living in a comfortable life, is better than living scared.
People stare as I crouch on my feet, reminding myself I will be home soon, under my covers and sheet.
I wear baggy clothes to hide,
Buried in the warmth, with my low riding pride.
But who is to say what's accepted,
When the world is corrupt and infected.
Yes, infected, by their image of life. Smoothed out like butter with a knife .
They learned to feel it is fine, to go abouts with materials things and fancy wine.
Rubbing their wealth in your face, scolding as if you don't try.. telling you you're a disgrace,
to the human kind.
That's what this world has come to, trampling their own for something to do.
While people like me just try to get by, without anyone noticing or batting an eye.
Curling up into my corner of the world, thanking God that i made it again. For this corrupt world might **** me in.
Fearing that society will point me out like at a zoo. Laughing and awe-ing cuz they can't tell,
if I'm wierd or cute.
This is what its come to if you're not like them you don't exist.
You're mearly something they can tell to their friends.
They don't care if you cut your wrist
or are soon to meet lifes end.
So hide beneath your blankets and sheet, and if knocked down get on your feet. Learn that the world, you have to forgive, and no one can tell you how to live.
Nov 27, 2016
Nov 27, 2016 at 11:49 AM UTC
Distance is physical,
Time is mearly a concept,
And our hearts are so much stronger
Than these silly things.
I can feel the powerlines
That connect us across the miles,
Energy surging through them
Just like you and me.
We are the brilliance of the stars concentrated.
We are stronger.
Jul 25, 2016
Jul 25, 2016 at 1:11 PM UTC
You were once here
But now you are there
Our lives keep on moving
But my heart has stopped
We were once so close
But now we are no longer
Were mearly strangers
Who happen to be neighbors
Sep 4, 2013
Sep 4, 2013 at 2:25 AM UTC
Here I stand,
I stand all alone.
All that stand against me,
Are dead to the bone.
My home lays in ruins,
Burned to the ground.
The end war victory,
Is nowhere to be found.
The battle is now long gone,
I live to tell the tale.
But the damage is still done,
The widows I hear wail.
Once beautiful lands turned to waste,
The blood has run dry.
Many freinds now lay dead,
As brothers we fought and died.
Now I am all that's left,
A country I have won.
But there is no greats feasts and life to be had,
As it was always sung.
War is mearly destruction,
Suffering and pain.
The price is high, for you shall die,
My warning is as clear as rain.
Apr 22, 2015
Apr 22, 2015 at 3:12 PM UTC
My friends don't like me.
I know
I heard.
Guess they ain't my friends
After all
But that's okay
No matter how it hurts
I understand.
Maybe it's cuz I ***
Cigarettes too much
Maybe cuz I have too much
Ache on my face.
Like a never ending game
Of connect the dots.
Maybe it's cuz I try to be happy
And uplifting
Because I don't want others
Feeling as low as I do.
I'm not too surprised
It's been this way my whole life
I've been the scrape goat
For even my own family
I have issues may of them
Will never know
Because I would never
Burden anyone
With the knowledge
That I hold inside
Still it hurts.
And still
If they ask it of me
I will listen to their trival problems
Even though if they knew
They'd say I had it worse.
They complain about their parents
While I knew what my father's **** looked like
By four.
While I knew what it looked like
To see your mother get thrown at the wall.
While I know my mom blames me
For everything.
I still listen.
For why should my problems be of anymore value then theirs?
They complain about their siblings
When I'm sure mine
Inherited our fathers sick mind?
But just can't prove it yet
Or maybe I can
But am to afraid to put the math
Together in fear
Of what the truth is.
I say I don't care and ignore
The brokenness that is inside
My mind.
Because I believe I am strong
When in fact I am weak.
Yet I heard them say
They don't like me.
Complaining about me
Why is my instinct telling me
To listen and to agree?
To these foul words they say bout me?
They are mearly children
Talking gossip
Yet my 8 year old sis
Seems to agree...
There will be no uprising
In this story.
No lesson learned
Only me
Still realizing
How much people don't care.
Only the same pattern
Of disappointment.
And failure to connect to someone.
They don't like me
And who can blame them?
No one ever has
Feb 26, 2018
Feb 26, 2018 at 4:04 AM UTC