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Michelle Rose Feb 23
Night thoughts
Swimming
Humming sounds
Wounds
Uproar
Mingling mingling
Up and down
Float

Through seas
Through words
Through nice things
Colored pictures

Paint
Higher up
Higher than that
Keep painting

Uproar
Over it
Over the noises
Over the voices

Fade into it
Over the noises
Over the voices
Under the sounds  
Fade

Into it
Now
sleep
More thoughts
Michelle Rose Feb 23
Be an artist
Look how you want
Get out of your heart
Breathe a little
Do what you want
Become something
Help when you can
Or don’t
Do what you believe is best
At your core
In your heart
forget all the rest
Just thoughts
Michelle Rose Feb 13
Am I the one who leaves
The footprints on broken glass

Am I the one who makes and art of it

Do I cut my feet on purpose

Just to show them “beauty”
Just to show them “pain”

Am I the one who likes the feel lonely
Just so I can cry about it

And feel the heartache I solemnly swear
I hate

Am I that girl

Who flips her hair flaunting
While inside
She weeps

Telling her friends that she’s full
Of curiosity and love for the world

While endlessly she battles her own wounds
Stirred up by her own storms

...am I that girl.

am I the one who makes an art of it
Michelle Rose Feb 13
Boys who ****
are not the same
as men who love.
Men who lie
were never men to begin with.
Boys who cheat
do not value you, ***.
Boys
don’t ****
Strong women
because strong women know
a man
would never lie
or cheat
or use
They would gracefully lead
and respectfully leave
if they couldn’t.
Boys,
are not the same as men.  
Boys who ****,
are not the same as men who love.
Michelle Rose Dec 2020
I wanted to say I’m sorry for not loving you the way you needed to be loved

I’m not sure I could have loved you any other way

I did everything I could
...and then some

I tried.

And then I tried again

and again

...and again



I’m sorry

I re-read the story

over and over



Again




...and again



I’m sorry


I couldn’t let you go


and I’m sorry


I didn’t do better.


I wish I could have been the one
that she was to you


And maybe
You don’t think that deeply

And maybe
it was me the whole time


Thinking it was you
Unedited just thoughts
Michelle Rose Aug 2020
I wish to write happy
about the time my boyfriend brought me flowers
and wrote me a hand written note
just to remind me how much he loved me
but I find my pen drooling
about the time he left me instead
and how he broke
every promise he ever made
I find myself
peeling back layers
of deep heartbreak
Drowning again
as I look up
to the sun above me
Sinking
into dark waters
mumbling the words
’I wanted to write happy’
as the bubbles suffocate me
and absorb my lungs
My body sinks in
to every inch of this comfort
and as my mind stills
I give in
I doubt
that I will ever come back
I settle
into this shelter
where my heart saturates
the ocean I’m swimming in
and as I lie there  
my toes start to wiggle
My eyes begin to flutter
My hair sways
and my arms bend
My body begins to move
and in my mind I think
As much peace this blanket
of warmth brings me
I can’t stand being down here
And so I start to kick  
I kick
and I begin to move again
and I realize in this moment
I can still swim
So I start to swim
with every muscle of my being
I swim
Until suddenly
my mouth hits the air
I gasp
and my lungs feel
what healing feels like
My skin begins to learn
what real warmth feels like
When I look below
I recall the deep end
I remember how cozy it felt down there
but I learn
how nothing compares to the warmth of the sun
I speak
‘Write happy’
out loud
and it fills the space
so much clearer up here
For all the time I had spent down there
I never knew what it felt like to really breathe
Fully
And I know in this moment
I can
Write happy
about the time I found my future
and stopped drowning in my past
Edited version from a past poem
Michelle Rose Aug 2020
06.09.2020
I still wish for you
Most days
I sit with it
and realize I’m okay
wishing for you
I am not ready to date
I am not ready for a new life
I have learned there is time
To not push
To let things be
To settle
There is time.
And I believe
So strongly in us
That I am willing
To wait this one out
And if you come back
I swear, things will be magic
I swear, things will be beautiful
And if you don’t,
And I find nothing better
At least I know
I waited for the best
and didn’t settle for anything less
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