Intensions
to grow with you,
alongside you.

Intensions
to celebrate the highs
& stay during the lowest of the lows.

Intensions
to know you, see you, & still love you
despite what may be desirable or not.

Intensions
to love your mind & heart before your body.

Intensions
to see your flaws, mistakes, fears, & insecurities
and love them just the same.

Intensions
not to hurt you
but help you heal
or even hurt with you.

Intensions
to explore every corner of the earth with you,
discovering & trying new things.

Intensions
to take care of you,
protect you from all of the merciless hurt of the world
to the best of my ability.

Intensions
to remain honest, faithful, & trustworthy with you
from the beginning to the end.

Intensions
to hold your hand tighter when things get challenging, testing, demanding, overwhelming.

Intensions
to see the good in others, in the world, in everything, in life, & in each other.

Intensions
to lift you up in your successes & victories, big or small.

Intensions
to share moments of laughter, passion, spontaneity, intimacy, empathy, & compassion with you.

&

Promises
that will never be made to be broken.

Time that will never change how I feel.

It's hard to be sure when you're so certainly uncertain.
You are my heart.
I am an afterthought.
I kid myself again.
It'll hurt,
but at least I have good intensions?

The mind of a black whole is one that’s continuously misunderstood
The eyes of planets, so cold and complex that they frighten those around
The soul of a demon but the conflicting true nature seeps in to stop the revolving time swarm from swallowing you in full
The overpowered burden of the depth of your past keeps the boiling revenge up on edge
The hands of Satan, cursed by fate and drenched in crimson of not yours, not mine, but all humanities.
The past on tradition has now been broken of where the flame dies and the ashes blow
But tradition is for the past, for others whom enjoyed, I’ll make our own tradition where the flame burns to ember and lives on forever
I provide the freedom to your chained personality and set it free, set you away from your own mind prison
You might be looked as a monster, a thing to be erased for existence but inside your shell is the one I need
Behind the mask that was given to you
Behind the life that you were brought into
Do not question your existence even though you’ll soon forget
Your existence is the meaning to all life around, and while I take your scarring memories and make them my own, I’ll replace them with me as your target,
Your reason for living
Your reason to fight
Your reason to learn
And your reason not to fade into an afterlife of separated thoughts
As long as you have a goal, as long as I know you’re safe I can still say to you everything that I’ve always wanted
And in a single moment I’m capable of crying
The cringing of my shattered breaths as I see the memories fade and evolve into someone that no longer knows me
No longer remembers me
No longer remembers that this curse I broke was not chosen by anyone but me
All there is now is hate
I’m such a hypocrite
I see the sadness in her eyes and express it on my face
And the lump in my throat is created by all of the many things that I have wanted to scream at that moment but sealed shut and swallowed
And in unbearable, unforgettable pain and guilt of not finding a better solution it stays there undecaying
Waiting for karma to find a punishment suitable enough for someone who was as much as a coward as me who stole his own life from himself
Turning his back on being human and suffocating the emotions that lie within him but allowed three words to escape his lips
I love you, I say as I watch your wide eyes vanish beneath the counterfeit heart I replaced in you
But it was the only way
As I ripped his love away from him but sheds the tears of the ghost of my former self
But that was before, my before self
My dead self
But it’s only a shadow as I’m taken in by darkness
Only thoughts now is how to destroy the life that once flowed in myself but still lingers
But it won’t show, because after all ghost of my past is only the outdated version of

myself

Folder: Heart aesthetics

The two of us alone by the fire in this wild landscape, tumble weeds and dust. the endless dust.  surely there could be some sort of peace offering that might make the night a little more comfortable than that of the past days. a small truce? suddenly I noticed him watching me. it was in a strange and unguarded way. he almost seemed  likeable except for the fact he was the most arrogant, heddonistc man i had ever met. again I looked at him. I bated him a little.

"dont you know its impolite to stare at a lady?"

There was an instant glint in his eyes and I knew he was thinking of the bathing pool. I blushed thanking the fire it didnt have the air to flicker brigher.  I wasnt quite ready for a reply.


"Yes, and I sure would be in trouble if there was a lady here! cause what Im looking at would be the pride of any man who had the pleasure of meeting them!"


He caught my breath my heart paused for a second. He was oviously alluding to the invitation he so easily tossed at her by the waters edge as he handed her her towel looking away with a cheap grin trying to convey the model of a complete gentleman. I saw him at that moment, menacing and I met him eye to eye. something strange took over me as I watched him leering at me eyes moving from soft peaks to nape , to lips and challenging me with his eyes. He made no attempt to hide the fact that I was desirable in the conventional way. Just not in any other way. but strangely I didnt feel threatened but rather bolder. his hand clinched suddenly as he stood suddenly towering over me. I got up on my feet and walked back a bit to create some distance between us but I stopped unable to mover further than a few feet away. my legs were unwilling to move and his eyes were able to rove freely the peaks and vallies of my womanhood. **** the fabric for being the type to reveal my shape in the firelight,  and **** the hot air that made the moisture cling it tightly to me.


I searched for meaning in his eyes, it came in  the unfurling of his desire and manifested in the breath of my own heartbeat pulsing into a crevice long forgotten. its revival took me somewhat, by surprise. and in the instant you saw it flicker in my eyes I saw it flicker in your own under the brim of that old leather hat. panic! oh hell! not ready for this feeling! uncomfortable sweetness and lazy pulses. weakness dragging along with it a wanton desire crawling molten heat wilting and yet rising in it a will of its own. I reeled inside my mind now lost inside the sensation of my body! reactions everywhere! A deep blush and a nip of my lip  to constrain me. here we are standing face to face a few feet  from eachother and that flicker had started in me a whole revolution. my thighs grew weary of standing so tightly wound together and my hips fancied themselves drawn towards you and took thier liberties from me. here I was held in an uncomfortable contortion hips lunged forward, tightened rosettes lunging to ward you and my mind was now working against me. your jaw seemed so warm and welcomeing and I could see myself nuzzling in the craw... and your hardness proudly announcing its desire to serve. those eyes those lightning sweet flickers, glowed over you warmth and hardness so appealing so pertinently appropriate in its impropriety.


Oh what in tarnations, there goes that waffling **** joy, oh sensiblitily who the hell cares! My mind and body argue and the shakes start to take over and I am completely confounded by my senses. then just as suddenly as it came its forgotten as the realisation of why this is such an offensive state to me. All I can remember are the words he said reeling in my head!


"The invitation is revoked of its warmth on account of your inhospitiable and ungracious prudish manner, but the polite thing to do is keep the invitation open at least on a civil basis otherwise i might not be considered a gentleman."


that was his gentlemanly way of calling her a harlot! Gentleman my-  Hate suddenly crawled up my spine and to my surprise it only served to flame my passion. I wanted what I wanted and courage and boldness took hold. If its civil he wants civil he will  get! I picked up my vanity like a harlott and lunged forward stopping just as quickly hoping he hadnt noticed. Hardly worth hoping. He noticed everything and he would surely call me on it. but insted strangely intent, he stood silent, still and focused. His eyes on my eyes I had noticed once I met them. A rugged jaw clinched and fist tight beside him. but his breath was cheating him of his composure. it was at this moment I knew we were fighting the same wanton battle. Pride dancing with lust, any hopes of love torn from the bitterness of rivalry between us by the fact that he held me in such high disregard. and I only as a pure instinctual reaction, do reasonably as any reasonalbe person attributed  such unwarranted assignment of character failings would do the same.


What was I to him? I found myself wondering what it would be like to be taken under his person, his strong arms pulling me towards him pressed against him... more rushes spun in cirles around me trying to find expression tight rosettes and puckering crevices landscapes once barren and forgotten had suddenly sprung to life. alive and wanting aching craving touch and now suddenly my heart decided to pull away from me. Suddenly fear flooded my body and then anger twisted its self all over me again. What the hell is going on?? Is it in my head? to hell with it ! I peered deep into his eyes and marched into his arms and forced a kiss to push him into my headdiness. and he obliged and held it warmly and gently, though my voraciousness clearly fell away at my noticing of this sudden cordialness pushing humiliation down into my throat and deep into the core of me unleashing a viper


"Why did you let me kiss you? "


I hissed, pulling away. he replied without missing a beat,


"It was the civil thing to do."


here I am rosy as all hell with a chasm as wide as the grand canyon with the words **** etched on to my pride.


"**** you! **** you to hell!"



I rushed at him and my hand flying through the air. it had its own justice to serve and I went with it. Oh hell, i went with it! Rage flew me up to him and suddenly I felt immobilised. My hand stilled hanging in the air, less than an inch from its target. His eyes now burning into me burrowing into me with seering white heat and an intensity that made me want to look away if it hadnt been for my last shred of pride refusing and rather accepting full blindness rather than conceede. suddenly his shadow fell over me and leaning down his lips parted his eyes softened and i felt the tenderly regard he was capable of it made me weak in my knees! I fell  into it as he caught me and in that sweet kiss, so beautifully warm. velvet silkeness I clung to him pressed against himas his hardness proudly declaring his intensions. it was a fit so perfect, that had there not been silk , denim and leather chaps in the way I would have merged with him seemlessly! oh the glorious delight of such care in his ravishment of me! I was lost, I was found!  yet, I was not even aware of anything but a dire need for his impending intensions to come to light.  then I felt him pull away from my lips. confused eyes watched as they pleaded why? He pushed me away and held me back from him like some vile rat and declared


"That is what youre missing as per the original invitation."  


He let me go as pain and humiliation stung my cheeks. reeling once again. I dropped to the ground. I put my hands to my heart trying to cover what he had done.  He had breeched my sacred place my soul stained and forever darkened by this stranger, I had trusted who was entrusted to escort me to my new lodgings... now my closest enemy.  in three days. and to bare for three days more. I am lost. lost. so this is what it feels like when hell burns you to the ground? and to think I almost thought for a second I could have fallen in ? serves me right to think any man would be different.  Im an idiot. That is the exact reason I need to marry money. I regained an inchling of my composure. enought to speak well, ok hell, I spat it at him


"I trust you sir, will be gentlmanly enough not to mention this to Mr Bently?"


"As always ma'am"


he tipped his hat and walked away  from the fire and my ashes into the darkness.


I stood there for a while listening to the bushes rustle till I knew he had found a place spend the night. I walked around the carriage to enter, I waited just enough time for him to get comfortable.  then ever so politely, gave him a reason to rise.  


"Mr Jones, would you mind helping me up the footer? I'm too afraid to sleep on the ground alone."


I heard him muttering and hissing under his breath. I smiled inside. for some reason it made me feel better. He slammed the carriage door and walked off again into the dark. I sat there on the plush bench thinking of him and scolded myself just as quickly as I had thought it. it was a cycle reapeated the whole night and as I drifted off to sleep I even let myself slip a brief thought of myself on a porch cleaning potoates while looking out at Clancy wiping his brow and smiling back... Clancy, Clancy Jones. What kind of a stupid name was that anyways? No woman in her right mind would want to marry a man with a name like that!  Mrs. Clancy Jones...

Any copying or transfer of material whether part or in total is strictly prohibited unless granted permission and directly credited to the author.

Look at her elegance
She draws you close
And with one simple smile
you have lost all hope
She had other intensions
When she let you in
The angel who once
Loved you
Cried tears of blood
You poisoned her
You made her dark
All because of the
Weakness of your mind
And heart.

To me Zeyda means a strong man
A man who can admit his mistake, but does not dwell in regret
To me Zeyda means a loving man
A man who will tell you how amazing you are and that he will be there for you no matter what
To me Zeyda means a caring man
A man who will put his well being after his family’s and because of this has a family who makes sure he is well
To me Zeyda means an honest man
A man who always has the best intensions for his friends and his family
To me Zeyda means a knowledgable man
A man who has seen many things yet is still able to admit his ignorance and at 80 still is willing to learn, grow and change

All these things and more are what a Zeyda means to me
But Zeyda, you are more than a Zeyda
You are a father, a brother, a husband, and a friend
You are someone who loves so many people unconditionally
And as much as you cherish all of us we cherish you as much
I am so grateful for so many things, But being able to call myself your grandson is one of the best things of all!

The feeling
underwater
embodies you
A feeling
of time
almost appearing
non existent
Hands motion
slow,
graceful
Sunlight
beats down,
touches your
bare skin
The sun,
deceitful
Wants you
All of you
stay,
stay.
Just a little bit longer..
Down,
A silky temperature;
euphoric.
You love it here.
Your weight
A simple balance;
above
But down,
Go down,
But up,
You're up.
The air in your lungs
competes to keep you up.
An unwelcoming gasp
of O2.
You don't want it.
You don't want it.
The desire
No,
The need
for more attention.
Remember the water
will kiss
that pretty face.
You're back!
Welcome,
Welcome!
This time
with rocks?
They can come too!
Oh yes, Company!
But,
It's been too long
Down here
and you have changed
The rocks
did this to you.
You no longer allow
the water
to comb
your gleaming
shimmering
hair
That skin
is no longer sun kissed
A shadow
above
your still body.
Your hands,
lost
their playful
intentions
We miss that.

My presence in LDC was an obligation to find fortune and it was kindled and ready to swim as a Law Don amidst the professional predecessors in the matter. Whoever looked at me while I sloped down to the centre stood assured that I was going to trade my money for knowledge.
Like success is a calculated design, I dedicated my time from the day the magic ink from the secretary dropped on my paper in approval of my contract with the geniuses. Soon I set my goals as I got engaged with big brains that kept tickling my brains with knowledge and in no time my thinking capacity had multiplied faster than a virus in my head.
This was not a joking matter as some ambassadors to the centre retired before executing their duties due to the un friendly terms that were expressed, while others switched to Airplane  mode to ignore all terminologies’ that would likely  trespass to the head to block their understanding.
In this issue, I had to act big headed and consent to all, and if possible download a knowledge converter to store all the necessary data. Much as I germinated from law ignorance and sprouted courageously, I was terribly affected when I set foot to apply my wisdom to the justice defaulters in the hungry world. My shock was that most people looked like justice stores but where rather pregnant with lies which left me cringing, and this too has greatly caused miscarriage of justice in the society. How can you convince me to let them rest peacefully on earth, that would be disrespecting the knowledge that the centre has acquitted me with.
I beg on your pardon, haven’t I got a right to vociferate about this? I didn’t jump from a filling basin to watch injustice take precedence; and I wouldn’t stand drowning my ambitions of freeing many minds from their crippled negative thoughts that nothing is going to be better.  Thus set your eyes to seeing positivity yet to come. It’s better to believe than disbelieve, in so doing we bring all to a realm of positivity. Of course, don’t expect me to swear an affidavit to confirm that but though am more than willing to become an Onus to those that **** and defile justice in day light.
“Know the law” wasn’t quoted for history but to diagonise those who smuggle injustices and inequalities into our society. It’s a generation of thinkers although some people are still locked up, far from the truth with the while defaulters stand with a defence of insanity. Mind whoever that ignorance of law is not a defence; we have to undress society of its evils to qualify ourselves to be called children of justice. It begins with the legal brains but cuts across all sectors with common intensions. In all capacities quarter, half or fully baked with knowledge and understanding we ought to light one another’s candle, not to set bush on fire and selling off the innocent souls.
Am a preacher of justice, a justice centred mind, preaching to heads of undefined demeanour.  If 1 is a position and one by one makes a bundle, then what’s your position in justice?
A naked mind can’t achieve anything.  Just like we all work for a better tomorrow and not to live as vagabonds in this world, therefore don’t smile back if you’re not ready to take the precautions to send the devil back to hell.  As a merchant of justice, I bow for all great country men who have endlessly stood firm and fought to protect the house of justice.

Stuck in a trance
Unable to see
Waltzing with the angel
Mixing in her darkness.

Questioning your every remark
As well as insanity
Run into the valley
Let the shadow of death consume me.

Delicious misery
Has consent to do no good
Dependent on them
Any who come along.

Spawn of the devil
Argument with innocence
Bitter sweet intensions
In this game called love.

How standard and usual
A pathetic attraction
Oblivious of two
Ignominious lovers

I crave diligence
While ignorant to the thoughts
and intensions of his mind
Save me, Lord, from destruction
  just this once,
For his heart can match perfectly with mine

How typical and useless
rejecting our relations
despite wanting his effort
to love me, dearly

I crave remembrance
ignorant to the thoughts
and intentions of his mind
Save me, Jesus, from repulsion
  just this once,
For my feelings I can no longer hide

How standard and usual
A pathetic attraction
oblivious of two
Ignominious lovers;
blind in the love shared
for each other

You said you'd be my Godfather.
But I'll be your personal little guiding mother.
I know you've never met somebody like me before ever.
And I'm only here to love you, open you up and get you ready.
Meanwhile I'd love the process, the moments.
And I'm free.
Tortured but free.
Loving harder than the pain.
Taking your pain away through touching you.
Showing you a different way through guiding you.

Having an impact on that part of the universe.
Just like you touch and impact my spirit so much around here and beyond.
It goes deeper than this place.
So don't just reach for the old teaching and the rules inside here.
Let me show you the way beyond Jesus and all these great preachers and teachers.
They're alright but it's all still within the rules of this place.
So let me show you these different places now, it'll get crazy but you won't because you're ready.
I'll show you where we both can go to, let go.
Be wild, crazy and free, ancient pagan natural.
Spiritual, divine, part of everything, inside our own world and creations.

All these different options I see.
They are just there everywhere all the time.
Time is relative.
Be creative with it.
Intensely loving the moment.
Intensely loving inside it.
Inside you, I'll guide you.
Just watch me.
You can do it too, do it with me.
Do it with me.

Always doing that job that I want to do even more after my work around here is done.
Let me, I'll trust the process.
But I'll still be rebellious me, always.
Meanwhile I love you, so special what you do to me.
But my brother doesn't like it.
My spirit brother's disappointed.
It hurts a lot to see that I have to let him down sometimes, not go with him everytime.
But I can only live from moment to moment.
I love him but it's been in me all the time to fight hard for these greater outcomes.

Intense missions.
Intense intensions.
Great moments.
Great gates opened wide perspectives.
Intense kisses.
Opening up spirit.
Toughing, feeling it.
Finally pushing through because I need to.
Because I can, it's my job, my mission.
Be the show that shows you everything I got to show.
Different directions.
Different dimensions.
Intense moments....

Godfather, let me entertain you.
Like money will never do.
Let me kiss you and push through all of your boundaries, your build up worries
You told me stories of the beast inside you.
Hold me like you'd hold these women that still see you as a beast.
Heal me, heal you, heal them hopefully too eventually.
Through my pain, I'll heal your pain, through your pain I'll open you, I'll love you.
I'll have a new mission to enjoy the outcome of.
As long as I'm still around.
Unable to really live, love, be alive.
Let me guide.

Stuck in a trance
Unable to see
Waltzing with the angel
Mixing in her darkness.

Questioning your every remark
As well as insanity
Run into the valley
Let the shadow of death consume me.

Delicious misery
Has consent to do no good
Dependent on them
Any who come along.

Spawn of the devil
Argument with innocence
Bitter sweet intensions
In this game called love.

Oh how life changes. We take in the scene and tell ourselves this moment matters most. But another comes just moments down the road and as we take it in and we let it in almost simultaneously. As if we know to hold onto this fleeting feeling for all it’s worth and to then make room for its coming brother. One we embrace. Repeatedly. And without hesitation. Hoping for that same momentary high that came with the last inhale. Oh lord what a high. But we realize after one too many moments that our high probably wont be ever high as that one that dictates our intensions. The one that points out subconscious and predicts our every move. And at that very second, it’s as if the hands have been taken away from our eyes. Though we have never been blind to it, we recognize our lack of understanding of our very own human intension. Disillusioned to the highs of our society, family, and world we simply mover more towards our goals now, rather then our childhood highs. Taking a second look at that candy bar, episode on cartoon network, and fresh snowfall. Replaced forever with books, relationships, and a pocket full of security. Establishing ourselves, at least that is what we tell the little man in the back of our mind. Not realizing we have sold our soul to our worlds expectations. And in fact have lost ourselves more then we have intended to. Where have those days gone? That moment when the sunshine on our face felt better then the crisp 20 in our pocket. When pursuing the beautiful girl you saw only once was the only thing that mattered at that very moment. The second the cold rain felt more like rebellion then the onset of the flu. God I miss you moments, childish moments, ignorant moments. At least I lived once. At least I can say I lived once. And at least I can look back on my failures, successes, and missed attempts with only minor self-loathing.  Holding back my tears because that’s what we have been conditioned to believe as normal. Even if we realize that’s what makes us want to cry even more. Hoping for that moment when the tears dried and emotions felt free to the world to see. Where you felt heard, understood, and simply there. In the vision of someone other then yourself. Other then the smoldering presence of your own detrimental perceptions. But we grow up, told to, expected to. So that we can get ahead, not fall behind, keep ourselves striving for a sense of perfection. Though we contradict ourselves with our mantra. “I’m human,” “Everyone makes mistakes,” “No ones perfect.” Oh just shut up already. As if the perfect Greek bodies weren’t enough to make those with delicate self-esteem wish for a dotted line to cut across. Hoping the pain can draw out those forbidden emotions, those shunned feelings, those ostracized outburst. WELL ******* WORLD AND **** WHAT IS EXPECTED OF ME. Because this moment right here, this high right here, this moment of purity will forever symbolize freedom. Suicidal ecstasy from a reality that I never wished to be a part of. A world and way of living that gives nothing and expects more then ones soul is capable of giving. NO, I will have my moments. I will have my sunshine and rain.  I will have my candy and first days of winter. I will have blissful, childhood ambitions and breath in that moments that gives me a high only life can offer. And when I release it, it will not be with the expectation that another will follow suit. But rather with the intention to free.

Every word,
And evey smile,
Laughing and joy,
Let's stay for a while.
Sharing secrets.
And from the start.
You had a piece of me,
A piece of my heart.
I was there for you.
A shoulder to cry on.
"Through thick and thin,"
An unbreakable bond.

But you forgot,
What we had.
For someone else,
it makes me sad.
He means more to you.
A change of perception.
I dont want to hurt you.
Im now competition.
But
i dont want to compete.
But
You don't need to me to feel complete.
I thought you did,
But now I realize,
Your true intensions.
So was it all lies?
Was that "bond"
Really there?
All my pain and suffering,
You didn't care?
You
You tell me your selfish.
But I say your more.
And you still tear me down,
Until i hit the floor.

You cant breathe,
If he loves anybody.
And you cant bare,
If that person is me.
I just want,
My friend back.
When did,
Your heart turn black?
Mine never did,
And it never will.
I just want everyone happy,
But you can't swollow that pill.
I won't allow,
You to ruin.
All we have.
We don't have to end.
You don't benefit,
From seeing me smile.
But i want whats best for you,
Please stay a while.

A friendship and a relationship.
Are completely separate.
How could just drop everything,
Like you don't give a ****?
I listened you.
I respected you,
I supported you,
I loved you as my own.
I held you at your weakest point,
When you trashed my throne.
And what do I receive?
What do I get in return?
A guilt trip,
And a lesson learned.
I don't want to accept,
Your insensitivity.

So just know,
No matter what.

I will purely love you,
From forever to infinity.

I get tempted to call but she wants nothing to do with me
Id like to hear the siund of her voice
I fell in love now she dont want to friends
I was good and things came to an end
My intensions wete good
Now im left feeling like im no good
I dont want just anyone
Getting my life together so I can be someone
It just ***** how you love someone who is great
Settle for less aim low but thats on her

Drinking till I pass out.
Mind spinning.
Blurred vision.
****** intensions growing.
Craving another shot.
Wanting another kiss.
Heart slowing down.
Feeling free.
The beat of the music,
pounding in my chest.
My feet moving to the tune.
My *** shaking to the rapping.
Drinking till my life is just a meaningless leaf,
falling from a tree.
One shot, two beers, three more anything.
Yum yum.
Let it hit me till I fall.

You sublimely lied to me
and then you lied some more.
You said you were not ready
as if you were before.

You took my warm intensions
and made them your soft bed.
You made your own inventions
proclaiming them instead.

Your eyes look into mine
Graze at  me one more time
Your hands begin to twitch
As you feel the nervous itch
Your legs begin to move
Opening to the moon

Now my eyes start to wander
Intensions no surprise
holding back, binding time
from docile to volatile
Walk on the water for a while
I'll show you the way
The way everythings the same
My eyes examine you
you examine me too

lets us stop this dance
let us do what we long to do
connect my energy to you
I'm here inside you

I went out and all I can do is think of her
Talked to a good friend she told me dont worry love with find you stop looking
I got lost in her eyes and lips told her who I use to be. I get tempted to fall into bad habits but I cant and wont go back. We shared our experiences I had more to say because im older. Im thankful she listened and didnt see me differently.
I didnt fo anything wrong I had nothing but good intensions. Ive been good not sure how to explore the world of relationships it just hurts me and I hurt girls unintentionally.
I miss my old life but know im meant to change be and do better not sure what though.
Im one who is constantly thinking of all the possibilities. I need a job I enjoy I dislike ppl that make my **** job worse then it already is.

I admire you with such passion
But I struggle with my expression
I will revolt you
Frightened I struggle with words
I've disguised my love in some reverse Trojan horse
With intensions so pure
But delivery so weak and misconstrued
Yet there are times that I woe you
With my elegant declarations of love
I expose my well guarded inner thoughts
To you in plain sight
And instead of mocking them
You cherish them and feel my true passion

I wish I could find it amusing to see
How an unevil man is rendered demon

By the cloaking of his good intensions
By female addiction to victimization.

I hold out my broken heart.
You scream at the sight of blood,

Squeeling: *"Murderer! I can see your red
Hands from here! Holding some poor

Thing's
Heart."

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

I can no longer breathe without the regrets of pushing you away....
my eyes cloud up as my mind reveals our finest memories,
the little time that I had you to call mine.
I failed to inform you as much as I sought out to..
that you are the very thing that keeps me striving to move forward.
you are the very blood in my veins keeping me alive and breathing....
but I could not tell you this.
I could not let you know the things that I held inside,
in fear of rejection.
in fear that the words I longed to speak would push you further than the actions
I had revealed to be me....
I gave you my breath,
and you let it go....
but I forgive you for it all, for you had no intensions of hurting me..
did you?

he got some bad blood*
running up his veins

he got some wolf teeth
tearing up that lace like that

he got some soft lips
kissing the mayors no good ***** rotten rich teenage daugther, with her red lips and her bad intensions

he got himself a real nice face
smiling like that, getting 20 percent off addi mays special pancakes with pork bacon and scarmbled eggs drizzled with her top-secret mable syrup

*the boy got himself some bad blood, wolf teeth, soft lip and a real nice ******* face

HER LIPS SPOKE OF
WISDOME FED BY SCIENCE BOOKS
AND HISTORY TEXT AND
PHILOSOPHY OF ASSUMPTIONS
CARRYING A STRICKING EYE
FOR STUDENTS THAT
WON'T SIT STILL
SHE CLAIMS SHE LIKE'S IT QUIET
DURING FREE TIME OF READING
BUT I'M STARING DOWN
AT TEEN MAGAZINS
CAUSE MICHAEL JACKSON
MAKES ME SHREEK IN MY SEAT
AND I SAY NOTHING NOR
READ NOTHING BUT
                               
STARE
                               
ADMIRINGLY AT HIS
                                
PUZZLING FEATURES

THEN HER VOICE RISES OVER
MY HEAD LIKE FLYING BULLETS
MISSING MY BRAIN AND EYE SOCKETS
BUT SHE PLUNGED INTO MY EARS
LIKE THUNDER BULT AND LIGHTNING
AND MY SEAT WENT HOT
WHEN SHE STARED DOWN AT ME
HER WORDS CUDDLED UP
AGAINTS MY IGNORANCE
AS I FIGHT OFF THE BALANCE
SHE NEVER

OBTAINED TO
                                 MAINTAINE
                                
MY ATTENTION
                                
                      ­           ONLY FEAR

MY HEART POUNDING

!!!STARTLED!!!

AT  HER
RATTLE SNAKE INTENSIONS
AND HER VENOMOUSE WORDS
FELL UPON MY

LOW IQ

SHAMED AT MY ABILITY
TO LEARN EVER SO SMALL
AND SHE COULDN'T MANAGE
TO STAND UP AGAINTS
MY DIFFICULT APPLE
BITTEN BY SO MANY
BITTEN AT THE BIRTH
AND EATEN BY THE BEAST
OF STUDENTS WHO
STAND EGO HIGH AGAINTS ME
TURNING HEADS AT ME
WITH A GLARE IN THEIR EYE
THAT ONLY HORROR MOVIES COULD DEPICT
SHE DECIDED TO

FAVOR
                             
THE WIDTH
                              
 THE DISTANCE

AND                     

 THE RISK

OF HAVING ME
HER STUDENT...  AT ALL...
AND TELLS ME

"YOU WILL NEVER WIN,
BUT I WILL"

??????????

WHY MRS. ANDERSON...
WHAT EVER DID YOU MEAN BY THAT
23 YRS AGO I WANNA KNOW????????

BUT I COULDN'T CONCENTRATE
OR PAY YOU THE FAME
BECAUSE YOU STAND UP THERE
LIKE SOME PRESIDENT OFFERING
NO LESS THAN A TOOL
I CAN'T GET TO A HIGHER LEVEL
LIKE THE OTHER KIDS
FEELING LIKE A ROBOT
STANDING IN LINE TO EAT
STANDING IN LINE TO PLAY
RAISE MY HAND LIKE A CONVICT
TO GO TO THE BATHROOM
AS IF THIS WERE THE MALICHA OR
A **** OR NOZI OR HOW EVER YOU SPELL
                              THE **** NAME

CAUSE IT AIN'T ENGLISH
YOUR RING TONE PHONIC VOICE
RINGS IN MY EAR TO THIS DAY
AND YOUR PIERCING DULL BLUE EYES
IS ALL I NEVER WANT MY CHILD
TO HAVE AFTER ME

A TEACHER WHO THINKS
SHE IS THERE JUST TO BEAT DOWN
A CHILD
                                        IN THIER MINDS.


© S.T. Rebel of Eden

Open your heart to me,
And you will see all
The wonders that can be,
Shed some light
On your scolded heart,
And you will conquer the fear
That hides in your soul,
To escape the prison walls
That turn you inside out.

Open your heart to me,
And your soul will never
Lose its love for life,
To be enlightened by
The suns epic rays,
Dancing in the wilderness,
With the courage that embraces
Your true colors,
To capture all of life's bad intensions,
And embrace all that you can be.

Open your heart to me,
And you will understand
What it truly means to be loved,
To be accepted in a dying society
Filled with hatred and agony,
For my heart will never stop
Beating for you,
For it is wide open,
Waiting for you to break out,
To take our love for
What it is.

What a lovely time of day
The time is so slow
Sun and the road are trembling
In a slow motion
I walk
The time is so slow
And it will speed up
It will go so fast
Soon
I’ve been chasing it
While I’ve chased you
I lost my memories
I lost that day
When I saw you
I almost saw your eyes
You’ve been singing and waving
And being ridicules
But I forgot the feelings
Like I forgot my intensions then
Just like destiny forgot me
And Universe lost me

Dont believe the hype.
Musing and invention with no hopfull intensions.

Casting shadows and woven sensuality.Dont buy In please believe.

Famtasy is all at beck and call.
The clock on the wall cant TELL time.just.point and tick.

That feeling when your heart beats in your throat
Making it hard to breath gasping for air
Random thoughts from everywhere
Can't think of what to say everrythings confusing
Feels like I'm losing it been good not abusing it
Fear being an option I should be next
Make you look good and treated bad
I don't get mad betrayal makes me sad
Disappoint is common but moving on keeps me from being buried alive
Its like fighting to survive near death and revived
Feels like I'm taking on the world made into the bad guy
My intensions were good sometimes I can't and would do so if I could
Don't make me feel like I'm no good been my best and more
If things went accordingly you wouldn't see me anymore

The wonder of existence
Like you got a second life to hurt many
You are divine in destruction
A mentor of foolishness
Can i lend you tomorrow because your yesterday is a ditch of calvary
How many are your culprits
Or your intensions have no survivor
In possession you preyed most
But their heap of bones cry out to revenge
A concord of laziness where zero accounts to your presence
Much to be remember, brilliant stupidity
Now carry you ignorance far thy followers will keep the pace
For the blind prefer darkness than a ransom of slavery

With the slightest touch of her hand the hint of a smile. I draw her near but not with intensions to make her run. The softness of her hair brushes against my face for lust of another day...I see the interest in her eyes and the eyes don't lie. The game has begun but no one will be the winner... Is it stolen? or the effects of the ocean. Just another millisecond of life in motion.

Joe Callari...

If a thought is not put into a word, in turn, into an action,
How much value does a thought truly have?
A thought is not heard, nor is seen.
Instead a thought provokes the strongest sense of all,
A thought is felt.
Only the mind with the thought can feel the weight it bears.  
A personal bond is created at that moment.  
There is a sort of intimacy between them.  
A privacy that cannot be revealed,
That is until a word stumbles off the edge of one’s lips.
Evermore,
That thought has been shared,
which now is up to interpretation and judgement.  
Once exposed to the air we breathe
The original thought becomes polluted and loses its purity.
The thought evolved into a word,
Now anxious to become an action.  
So distant from where the thought developed.
An action can truly affect others regardless the intensions.  
You can guarantee an action will become open to the public.  
It can been seen, it can be heard.  
We tainted this thought and raised it into the beast of an action.  
At the simplest form you have a thought,
It is simplicity where you find beauty.
Enjoy the simple things in life,
Because it is a thought that spark the smile.
When we talk about value the worth is in the heart of the consumer.
Value is subjective and is not numerical.
So when asked, how much value does a thought truly have?
The answer is immeasurable.