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Analysa Feb 2014
Feb. 1, 2014
You fill my body up with every star and every flame that sparks each and every bone and ***** in my slowly wilting body.
You're the only one who can make me shut my eyes just to think about how happy you make me. Then, I think about that being taken away from me in a split second. It completely shuts me down. I don't ever want to live in that second. I used to imagine that the best feeling in the world was being free. Then, reality struck me. I was completely and foolishly wrong. I look at you. I look at you even when you are not looking at me and I watch how you move and how you function. Every time I look at you I am so happy that I am with you. I am so happy that I am the one who is able to hold your hand and wrap my arms around you. I am so happy that I am alive to witness the best feeling ever, which is knowing that you're alive and you're with me as well. You make me feel like I'm standing on the highest building at night overlooking everyone and the city lights. You make me feel like fresh air on a cold winter day. You fill me up with feelings I have never felt before. Feelings, that I am lucky enough to feel with you. You're the only one I have, the only one I want, the only one I truly need. I want to live an infinity amount of moments with you. Good and bad. I want it all to be with you. I want to do everything on earth with you. You made me love the sun, the moon, the rain, the stars, flowers, etc.. It all reminds me that I'm still alive. You make me feel alive.
Ayeshah Sep 2010
Currently I'm locked up, in this stupid hospital, baby on the way and no father in sight.

Sadly its my fault & my fate, love didn't love me, love beat and misjudge me, now thou I had time to think.

Reflect and it's come to the conclusions that we maybe wasn't meant to be.

God how his touch sent me raven mad...

How his kisses drove me to loose myself, his arms strong & tight around me hugging squeezing and caressing me. his  lustful ****** hurting yet I'd beg for more,

his legs entwined with mines and our lips locked while tongues fought to be the main concubine!

Friendship then lovers, lovers becoming boyfriend & girlfriend, then we planned to walk down the aisle. Man & wife!

Trusting in disbelief. until the lies seemed so real...

Until the mornings mingled with night...

Until my body cried out for  peace...

******* release even when I didn't want him to-  he'd plead & take what was now not given.

Hurting from black & blue eyes that never cry,
not anymore.....

God how his touch sent me raven mad... (running  fast  when I could)

How his kisses drove me to loose myself-RESPECT,

his arms strong & tight around me hugging squeezing

MY THROAT  -

caressing me in to submission .

His  lustful ****** hurting- I'd beg him to STOP...

His legs entwined with mines and he wresltes me to the bed...

Our lips locked,

I'd try to bite-  while we fought...

Currently I'm locked up,    in this stupid hospital,

baby on the way and no father in sight.

Have to be here until I give birth....

My love (for him)  was my undoing.....

My curse is siting here staring at these walls....

I'd rather he mistreated me all over again....  Cuz I still sadly love him  

(yet again I now know better)

Love hurt me, mistreated me & used me....

Misjudge me......

Love abused me and took all my will away ....

Left in it's wake-


A Baby's on  HIS  way!


(I don't believe in "love" anymore)


Feb 2011
Always me Ayeshah
Copyright ©
Ayeshah K.C.L.N 1977-Present YEAR(s)
All right reserved
Knotts Island  10:oo pm wedsday Feb  9   2011

It was like any other night spent at the doctors office slash
Dr Jerry's trailer.
Drink fine deep conversation about world events and *******.

I had went to the porch for some  introspection  and to take a ****.
Dear Lord Man!
What I saw was proof i had done way to many drugs and slipped yet into another rambling state of Gonzo.

White  powder covered the ground  it was a gift from Jesus or Elvis really   whats the diffrence?
Hunk a hunk burning  clap  it was pouring ******* from the sky !
I burst through the door like Lindsy Lohan fresh outta rehab

Jerry !  
Gonzo!  
Jerry!
Gonzo!
What are we yelling about Jerry?

I dont know but zip your pants up.
I know your a **** but I dont need to see it as proof.
Jerry a doctor a fellow brother of Gonzo
and true deep thinker.

****** man what was i gonna say i really need to lay off
the drink *******  Dr Pepper.
Well smack my **** and paint me purple and sell me to the Canadians.
dont ask.

Jerry good lord man look  outside its a true miricle.
Now only if it would rain strippers and wild turkey.
That would really be proof the easter bunny existed!

Jerry shaking his head for he knew his drugged out mental asylum bound  friend with a heart of gold or at least bronz  needed some alone
time in a padded cell looked out the window.

See i told you !
It's ******* snow Gonz ya *****.
snow what the hell's that I thought to myself while speaking
out load on a poetry site   where people think what the **** is wrong with him.

****** I should go outside more than once a year.
these seasons really throw me off like Skeeter  on
a cold night.
****** i told you  not untill you pay for last time ******!

She was a true lady just wish she took credit.
After a breif explanation time travel and where babies come from.
Dr Jerry returned to his favorite hobby surffing facebook
for underage *****  hey dont judge  how do ya think i met my wife?

Yeah man look at this one amigo sent me a friends request.
Jerry showed me a pic of a hot looking chick
and being she was good looking and talking to Jerry ment either
two things.

One the Gonzo On facebook page was down due to such high traffic
cause im super awsome.
Dork  you got like 14 friends.
Jerry went back to looking at the computer screen.
ha ha ha ha ha *** not funny.
Cyberperve!
I know you are but what am I?!

****** man he always get's me with his mature 40 something living
in his grandmas back yard  logic oh snap girlfriend.

Or Two  this little monkey  was really a ****** or a mormon
whats  the diffrence but enough with the foreplay children.
Jerry sat deep in thought and four **** hits and ten shots of turkey later sat the puzzled.

Amigo what do i say to break the ice?

The lights dimmed  a voice from the heavens spoke or New Jersy
John Tesh  apeared from the closet  ****** man i thought i herd really boring music from there i thought the rat poisen would get him for sure.      
    
When thought's are blured and both hands are busy.
When you just cant seem to find the words to break the
ice to that hot little hamster across the net,

Take that extension cord from around your neck and get
head out the oven dam you Slyvia Plath.
Just call dah da da dah da or however it ****** goes
sorry i dont watch   super hero movies although
I need a pair of thoose tights.
IT'S A JOB FOR GONZO.

Move aside silly girl I'll break the ice for you!
Umm  no Gonz thats okay Jerry replyed in that no
but it means  yes seductive five packs of cigs a day
sandpaper voice of his.

Trust me Jerry  Im a writer and i know how to
talk to the ladies  yes my friend how they do love Gonzo
Oh they pull out there pepper spray fire there guns
but inside they have a thirst for crazy.

No Gonz it's okay.
Dont mention it Jerry.
Gonz !
Jerry !
Gonz!
Jerry!
What the **** were we talking about and why the ****
are you in my lap!
Good question my friend but least your happy to see me.

At the keys the master or insane half wit began his
works of geinus this would break the ice for sure!

Dear Sarah

Wow all I can say is me likey.
And may I say that sweater really brings out your *******.
We should get togather and  talk  bout  things
while naked in bed to bare are souls.

Something about me.
My name is Jerry im  superbadass hells yeah.
I like drinking other peoples beer i can bench like a
thousand pounds.

I have a big   tv. What get your mind outta the gutter!
Lets drop the small talk you know ya want it why fight it.
Let that inner tigress out meow kitty  
Lets get naugthy and do things to make us both
purr in the litter box.

Kisses Dr Jerry   giggles and a gay *** emicon,
xoxoxo.

Yeah I know what your saying no wonder im such a ****.
And no wonder i have to pay for *** and im always alone.

After some mock tears and a snuggle   we waited for I know a
turned on little nymphs  reply.

Hey Kids it's  time to play are favorite snow game.
car surffing  in the blizzard cause im a drunken idiot
okay that kinda hurt.

Driving around the mean streets of KI  hopping officer
Rutherford was off duty or searching some drunk woman
looking for  some goodies hey I wonder where my sister is?

We at the rip roaring speed of 10 miles a hour What ?!
Hey saftey first that and the snow made it really hard for Jerry to hold onto the roof and pass the bottle.

We laughed we cried we lit are farts and made a beautiful
snow sculpture of two snow people getting freaky right in the middle of the road  hey kids blame it on the Beatles.

After we took out a few mail boxes stole a few garden gnomes
And taught a jaded soul how to love agian  we were
back at the office slash trailer in jerry's grandmas backyard
yes to think he's really come a long way since the tent.

By the warmth of the fire  music and fine drink to
match are deep conversation.

Hey dude ya think think that extenze stuff really works?
And if so if you took a lifetime supply  could you answer the door without getting outta bed?.      
        
The knock at the door was sudden.
****** man I knew it! Snow monkeys hide the
penut butter  and  put on some Kenny G!
Hey **** Kenny G  
Dam you John Tesh Go back into the closet where you belong!

Jerry looked at me as he usally does.
Like this ******* really needs some shock treatment.
Talk about a charge.

After Jerry assured me it wasnt the artic monkey's come to take there revenge   and promised to read me a bed time story what!
I have a inner child oh was starved of kickass stories.
Like Jack And The Beanstalk ,Catcher And The Rye,Or Debbie Does Dallas.

I opened the door to see a  large angry looking man
with a axe in his hand hmm dam lumber jacks  there always
on the job.

Are you the perve that wrote my 13 year old daughter that perverted
email on facebook?

Oh no im Gonzo im the other pervert who writes really long rambling stories on a a poetry website that arent really poetry
or very good,And drinks alot and doesnt make much sense

Yet always bring a laugh to demented people across the globe
cause yeah im super bad ***...

The man stood unfazed gritting his teeeth *******
me with his eyes hey it's cold okay.

Uhh no sir that's the perve your looking for over there
looking at your daughters pics hey ****** man we have
company  stop that.

I made my exit to the sound of screams it was like
a pit bull was latched onto a girl scout the agony    
Well looks like things were off to a good start Jerry was already meeting Sarahs  parent.

No need to thank me  Jerry
Remember kids if ya need a little help in time of need.
Look no further than Gonzo.

Slower than a fast moving virus.
He can leap small dwarfs and some short big girls in a single bound
kinda.

Gonzo fly's  of into the night in a epic soon to be forgotten.
B movie moment.
Stay Crazy.

Look Im flying.  **** tree!

Splat , Crash, Boom  Ouch Shitfire And Flying Monkeys
Next time I'll take a cab.

Adios Amigo's
Id like to thank the  academy.
Blues clues  Bigfoot.

Skeeter for passing out that one night and not waking up or at least not charging.

and to think i took screen writting and they had the nerve to
tell me i was crazy and id never find anyone who thought this was funny.

you like me your really like me well kinda and you thank God i dont
live nextdoor.

The credits roll  Gonz and Roses play.  

He's just a small island nut job living in a naughty minded world.
He took the midnight train  and as the semi hot hurled.
Yeah held here hair.

Dont stop reading.
Hang to that ***** feeling .
Just not in public or it can get ya trouble im just saying.


Thank you  Detroit  
                  
             FIn
STAY CRAZY
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Tammy M Darby Nov 2018
It without reservation can be said
Light on their indistinct feet these apparitions
Having no physical form

Cavorting of course with analogous kinds
Ravenous
On human emotions, they dine
Waltzing with elegance and ease
Disappearing as they please
Showcasing their unearthly skills
Rattling their chains
And moaning with glee

Ah yes it can most assuredly be said
I enjoy
Dancing with ghosts of the dead
It is the event of a lifetime
And is a rare phenomenon amongst the living

But not be envious of their steps
For throughout their existence they may never rest
It is a clandestine situation at best
Though they frolic gaily

Imprisoned between two worlds
Ignoring their dilemma
Nebulous phantoms
Continuing to whirl

Still, in good conscience, I cannot deny
Even with their trickery and constant cries
And disregarding the fact they are dead
What a delightful experience it truly is
Dancing with ghosts of the dead

All Right Reserved @ Tammy M Darby Nov. 3,  2018.
Re-Write Feb. 11, 2019
All Material Stored in Author Base.
trhey may nevr eestSo if you seek ***
Sara L Russell Feb 2014
14th Feb 2014

They are all around us, 
within, without, above, behind and before us;
Fanning the flames of the famous, the wealthy and fortunate
with secret agendas and infamous fame of their own.

I throw a stone
send it crashing through houses of glass; I see their
comings and goings in the Grove of Bohemia;
drinkers and liars; role-playing fraternity fools.

There are rules.
It takes more than just peeing at trees to be properly manly;
secrecy more than life is at stake when the fodder is human,
throw off your cares to the punitive furnace of hate.

Such ill-fate
that begets our world leaders, hatched out of a tangible darkness;
parasitic, calamitous, venomous world-gobbling evil
Mammon, devourer of souls, will preside at the feast.

And the Beast,
Fourth Beast of Daniel, squats at the head of the table,
fabled for pitiless torture of souls in transgression,
slavers and gloats over innocence lost and despoiled.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
To those who are not worried by what our world leaders get up to at Bohemian Grove: perhaps you should be.
When I was 12

I cut for the frist time I used this little
sharp thing that came in this manicure set
I don't know why I did it but I can remember
my hand hanging over the bathroom sink little drips of blood falling from me I staired in to space I can still feel that dead feeling
Latter that year I cut in front of my friend I did not think she was looking, she **** my hand and " oh my god, dude did you just make that happen?" I should be I shamed I would be now, but then I think I may have been proud, it got worst I cut everyday
mostly my hands. One day my older brother
asked what happen to my hands I said his cat had scratch me
a really bad lie cuz rocko would never hurt a fly,
and he new cuz he told my mom right there and then
Ma, I think she's cuting herself, I was so panic that I don't even remember what she said, but I did not stop
mouths later I think it was in Jan of 2001
I was at my sisters house and I must have had a scrach or scar showing
I reamber what she said, my hand are shaking tyeping it,
"Why are you cutting you're self little *******!, you know that bring the devil he likes that!, little did I know those would be that last words she ever said to me cuz she died in feb that same year
and know it's crazy but part of me will allways blame me and my cutting,
and i still think of her when I cut, I don't have to tell you that did not stop me,

whene I was 13

I don't think I cut much wich is do odd cuz it was the worst time in my life, insted I dressed like a ****, got drunk, talk back to my famliy and messed aroung with grown up guys,  and started writeing poetry
but I never cut.

Whene I was 14

god that was I really bad bad time I'm pretty shore I was crazy
I was convosed about my sexuality and gender,
i shaved my head started dressing as crazy as possibal maybe get ppl to look at me, maybe to scare them away I don't know.
but I cut, I cut I LOT! I can remember locking myself in the basement with my KORN and SLIPKNOT CDs turned up so load no one can hear my cry, I craved an anarcy symble in my lag, and fell asleep on the liveing room couch, my mom saw it and freaked out, she asked me if I was crazy?, gay?, if it hurt?, all I did was turn over and go back to sleep.

When I was 15

everyone just knew I was crazy, I cut be with the head to toe black
dog colers and books on the cruch of Satan no one really nodest, but I knew, it was takeing over my life, I had so meny cut on my arms that
ther was not a part of my skin that was not scabed red or swollen
but I did not stop.

When I was 16

I lot of things about me chanched at 16
but it was hard to say what they where
i remember one day I staired in the mirror so long
I could not stand mr face and more I was enraged
I was allwas sad, but now it was anger I did not want to see
any part of me or my life any more a hated it all so much
I tryed to blind me self, with narr hair remover, I put in to my eyes
it was the worst pain I ever felth, and when everything started to look gray I was scard and for the frist time sents my sisters death
I prayed to god not elfs or the vampire ruler
but god, and it stop the bruning the grayness stoped
and from that the I never said I did not believe in god, you can call me crazy, but I think I should'ev been blind.
but I never stoped cutting,
just mouths layer in the summer I can remember
being dressed like a latex dominatress, I craved the word nothing in my hand that word ment a lot to me it was my seventh name
I never thoght anyone nodest but when I came home one day
2 of my 3 brothers and my mom where waiting like an intervention
they asked me why?, what does it mean?, my father asked if I " really worship the devil?" I just said I do it cuz I'm crazy and never said anouther word,  but I did not stop cutting.

When I was 17

my life was sleep cutting and poetry and nothing more,
I lived in razor blades and notbooks, I can remember one day I had 2 cuts on my arm my uper arm, but I must have forgot cuz I did not
where a swater to the dinner table, my brother the same brother
that nodest when I was 12 got up in a rage and went in to the ketchen with my mom and was yelling at her " did you see the cuts?, did you see thies ******* cuts, he did not think I heard no one did but that mead my cry so hard, I'm and will allways protective of my mom, I hated that she was getting yelled at for something I did, but than she starting blameing everyone but me, I craved a heart in to my hand and she went if in my neice say "did you see her do this?"
now my cuting was everyone pain
but I did not stop

when I was 18

I did not cut as much but whene I did it was bad
I used broken glass it was my favoret, and I cut placeing
that never showed, when I  was dressed,
and I looked normle just like anyone els
nothing dark of freaky about me but if you saw me
naked I was a masacare
and I did not stop.

When I was 19

I had a hole deffrent feeling like nothing I did
was good enough, I'm not like everyone els my
age, I allwas had this thing where when ever u was outside
and someone laughed I thought it was about me
if they looked at me it was cuz I'm ugly
or just a freak, at this time it was worst
cuz I realize not much has chanched in my life.
I got my shoulder once I was one my computer
and my dad asked what happend I said I got cut when I was
moving things in my room all he said oh I thought
you where doing something weird, talk about being the last to know.

When I was 20

I only cut twice that year, And my mom seemed to think about it more that me but in a defforent way "what are you gunna do with those scars?"
shed allways say, still does no mans gonna wanna marry someone with
unexplainable scars on her body, I allways found that shallow
and cold but I did not completly stop cuting.

When I was 21

I had an inter deffrent soul or at lest a new mask
in lost wight, trund blond, for the longest time replaced
poetry with make up, try to perfect most ppl thought I was
even me, I was bublelie that girl who laughed really loud
with butterflys in my bedroom and boys on my cell phone
mirrors and make up, it kinda the new obession cuz I can feel it taken over, and no one knows it  they will never guess it
but I did not stop cuting

now i'm 22 years olds

sometimes I feel so fake I wanna scream,
I don't reconize me anymore, but I never like me anyway
I can't understand how I can want those feeling back?
I mead so long, how can I just stop?
Cuting is part of me, as much as I want it gone
then why did cry so much, more then the blood
why do I feel so worthless saying
I did not stop cutting...
Every word is true, I never told anyone any of this
I never will,
Javanira Waters May 2015
You ignited a most magnificent flame inside of me, one that was slightly bigger than a birthday candle. You helped me find the significance of who I am, but all that changed when I ****** up. God, I ****** up. I begged and begged and you said no, and that you were done with me. Hearing you say that froze my entire body in half a second. My heart was in shambles. The fire had been blown out. The colors in my eyes went straight grey. It has been three years since then. I haven't been the same. You would hate who I am now, you would even be embarrassed to say you knew me. You would not approve of the things I've done in spite of you... I texted you last year on Feb 28.. You never texted back. That no reply back didn't even hurt me. It only started another fire inside me. Except this time it instantly became a ******* wildfire, because of the hatred passion I now have for you. Not because you never texted me back, but because you act as if I meant nothing to you. So *******. *******, for having an affect on me. *******, for the **** wildfire I can no longer control. *******, for the **** you've put me through. *******.. ******* for still being on my mind after three years.. ******* for being the first person to break my ******* heart.
this one goes out to the first guy and person I ever loved
Echoes Of Yesterday


Echoes of yesterday are glorious
memories it's true ,
frozen moments in time
shadows of love shining through.
Pathways to our future leaving
footprints guiding tomorrow,
by those who've walked before you
through times of joy and sorrow.
It's easy to sometimes forget
as we struggle day by day,
the heart is a constant reminder
every beat an echo of yesterday.
When you least expect it an image
can instantly flash,
bringing a smile and tear at times
remembering those who have passed.
Maybe that's our greatest treasure
it's no secret what God can do,
echoes of yesterday are beacons
of love that carry us through.

Written By Kathy J Parenteau
Copyright © Feb 2014
All Rights Reserved
Chinese Firecrackers

Celebrate New Year with firecrackers|
lunch time is good
the smell of food mixing with gunpowder|
loud noises
drown out the clack of chopsticks
red paper
strewn around is all that's left
apart from the ringing in the ears


Malcolm Davidson Feb 12th 2013

Chinese New Year**

Chinese New Year is all around
red lanterns hanging from the trees
people laughing, boisterous
everyone goes home for the holidays
to share rice together
one big family
you can feel it in the air.

Malcolm Davidson Feb 1st 2013
st64 Feb 2014
in the silver of morn, little bird joyful trills
five lines remain blank
the notes won't play on
its breathe lies below the sand
where tranquil bulrushes grow


1.
in the hue of sombre afternoon
    knees drawn up to chest
    memories intent on knocking loud
cold harbour between these sheets
   no blotting out that light -- it has to be faced
there's no silver in the clouds.. so bulbous and so there
only a tie on the path


2.
can you please let me be?
need to be left alone a while
while I clean up the righteous-mess of this dread
           hours to make me presentable before that
which must be lived through

smiles can be pasted on.. by old-habit, so well-mastered
it's an old tale caught in a twist by its own wick'd-tail
perhaps some gale to shake up the roster
and relieve from parallel track.. liberate
surely, they can hear the stylised bass-chords inside me
             leave their odd-resonance
boom.. boom

3.
treble is missing..
your laughter, I can still hear your tinkling-laughter
         even as I see you being lowered slowly, slowly, slowly
s l o w l y
down into the bowels of where we all go to rest one day
you take with you.. the *one clef
needed for clarity to live

shut eyes tight against that bright-red insolence
        struggle with the process of accepting the impossible
reliving anguish through swollen eyes in a clip of vision
imposing terror.. grips tummy-muscles and twists
eternally deforming galaxial-dust in my eyes


4.
in the grey of eve.. no hunger, no thirst
    place food in mouth - must
    shove fluids down constricted-throat - must
..baking sun waves at me, setting in gilt-smiles

clean out the navy-attic of my overdrawn-mind
find your blue bubblegum on the counter
and suddenly, my arms are clad in shivers-cold
                       head is spinning
I pick up the morsel, turn it over and unwrap
stare at it, discovering you.. again
tears well but never fall..
         I place the gum inside
         chew and chew and chew....................
it is you.. not lost
place the bubblegum on silver wrapping
'cause the clouds.. they offer no solution

I have to eat, my hunger grew
my sanity is toast


5.
yes, smiles can be pasted on.. by old-habit
        but not this time
why let love be secured so.. then harshness steps in
to wrench away.. leaving such monstrous-gaps?
perhaps it's safe to just.. not love..
close up the heart - pack away in congelator

(weird.. a heart is just a piece of meat)
love-letters and sweet-poems are for the eyeless
hearts for eyes.. render blind-suite
tenderly hack out these.. hack, hack!



the only remnant now.. a hard-ball of gum found stuck
      hid as a half-moon under the pedestal


still.. earth turns again
          birds sing on

your laughter never lost.. completes the score
        the symphony unfolds
as sage doth reveal..
one step at a time :)



S T -  14 Feb 2014
hello, earth.. can you dig it?
I so like the smell of Eden.




sub-entry: pedestal

when these toes finally quake
feed my heart and brains to the birds
that way, I become useful.

developing allergies to this century's din
erstwhile kings and counts climb on
today, pedestal is.. a false-friend.
Mystic Ink Plus Feb 2022
Chocolate is a trap
I request

Give her, heart
Genre: Minimalist
Theme: Tune In
Tanya Aug 2013
Bring me back to Valentine's day
The 14th of Feb
When I thought
I had no one to spend it with
This 2013
But you came right along
And I really thought
I wouldn't see you again
But there you were
On the 14th of Feb
An angel sent from heaven
To comfort my soul
Instead of Ben and Jerry
Oh what joy
I felt
I have always loved you
And I still will
If only I could kiss your cheek
So tenderly
And gently
Whispering in your ear
How much I wanted you
I miss you
And I want to see my fingers interlaced with yours
Your lips on mine
Our bodies entwined
Feb 19, 1991 - July 7, 2013
My Friend, My Soul Brother, My Classmate
Joshua Louis Von Steenburgh
I Love You
I Miss You
May you Rest In Peace
Vonnie
Amen.
I know you're still here with me Vonnie I love you bro I'll always remember you and continue you writing you always believed in me. You were one of my favorite lyricist just could flow off the top of your head and rhyme exquisite lines that captured my mind, I still hear you Vonnie.
Mystic Ink Plus Feb 2021
To whom it may concern
Kiss heals
Genre: Romantic
Theme: Don't give up on happiness
Molly Feb 2015
Hi, I'm sorry for texting you so late it's just that everything feels like it's falling apart and I can't even recognize myself anymore sometimes it feels like I'm not even the one living my life I'm just watching it like a movie I'm just going through the motions and I don't know who to talk to anymore because I just keep making more problems but I need help I need someone to hold me and tell me it's okay I don't know how to make it through this on my own please just come save me
Rant
Daniel Regan Feb 2013
Silence between my ears, it’s this pause that I fear. Rubbing my eyes in disbelief, hands shaking with no relief. Heart pounds with no end, racing thoughts I try to fend. Patience seems to hold no grip, pain coursing through my bottom lip. Words becoming hard to write, anxiety filled as I try to fight. Apprehension is keeps me on a high, feelings of sanity passing me by. Silence broken by sudden shock, body begins to come unlocked. Senses heightened to every sound, words being to bring me down. Expectations start to crack, feelings of insecurity I do not lack. True emotion comes over me, afraid of what the world might see. Back behind my guise I go, true passion I will not show. Afraid of what just happened now, no emotion seen upon my brow. Hidden behind my darkened hood, strength gone from where I stood. Hope for another possible try, may come again under a different sky.
judy smith Feb 2017
In a few days, modernistas will flock to Palm Springs to ogle its healthy roster of mid-century gems.

There will be home tours, double-decker bus tours, fundraisers, art receptions and cocktail parties. At every turn, is an opportunity to embrace your inner modish self and dress the part.

Don’t worry, you won’t be alone. All the parties are rife with guests in fun retro apparel. Everything from caftans and A-line shift dresses to graphic prints and knee high boots.

“It's nostalgia for a bygone era and we dress up because it feels great when you are surrounded by stunning midcentury modern architecture and vintage cars. It makes me want to put on gloves and a pillbox hat and sip martinis - plus it makes for great photos,” said Lisa Vossler Smith, executive director of Modernism Week, who likes to dress the part as well. Modernism Week runs Feb. 16-26.

The mod-style which originated in London in the 1960s is all about sleek and simple silhouettes.

“Clean-tailored lines and lots of black and white define mod fashion for me,” Vossler Smith said.

Pegged ankle-length pants, colorful tights, Mary Jane heels and sweater twin sets also come to mind.

For inspiration, Vossler Smith turns to the likes of Twiggy, Edie Sedgwick and fashion designer Mary Quant, because of their iconic and forward-thinking mod style.

“But I also look to old movies and TV for inspiration. "James Bond," “Batman,” “Get Smart,” “Gidget,” and my favorite, “Breakfast at Tiffany's,” are great for inspiring new vintage looks from my daily wardrobe. Sometimes I even throwback to a little Rosalind Russell "Auntie Mame" or Grace Kelly influence - on a good hair day,” she said.

Her favorite vintage item is her 1960s leopard print, pointy-toe boots. “I wear them all the time,” she added.

Much like the classic, simple and timeless architecture of the homes and buildings that signify mid-century modern - mod fashion has had a lasting effect on popular culture and current design.

There are new, vintage inspired lines, such as the ones created by New York based Lisa Perry who led a discussion at last year’s Modernism Week on the mod looks that make up her collections.

Palm Springs’ own Trina Turk, who is known for her bold prints and vintage inspired designs , will present a “Trina Turk + Mr. Turk Fashion Show” poolside at the Modernism Week Show House on Feb. 21.

Palm Springs and the rest of the Coachella Valley is full of thrift shops and specialty boutiques teeming with outfits perfect for a mod party. You can go new – Turk’s flagship store is in Palm Springs – but it’s a lot of fun and rewarding to dig through thrift shop racks for that signature outfit.

“We really have great stores throughout the desert,” Vossler Smith said.Read more at:http://www.marieaustralia.com/formal-dresses | www.marieaustralia.com/****-formal-dresses
Curiosity got the better part of me as thine swiftly splaying fingers
typed Matthew Scott Harris (yours truly) into the google search bar,
lo and behold, and much to my chagrin and amusement,
others with mine namesake constituted roles in various walks of life carrying out their wonderfully wicked whiles and ways,
sans existence covered the gamut earthen realm
from administration of President Dwight David Eisenhower
the celebrity circuit, where his claim to fame and fortune
as movie Producer (born in Jacksonville, Illinois)
for silver screen cinematic debut enterprise finished regal Dimension far off beaten track pocketing a degree (from University of Illinois)
in Civil Engineering, After practicing as an engineer for several years,
a decision made to open a restaurant in Chicago
with nary a harbinger - After operating popular eatery for more than ten years,a whim directed destiny viz hit time to make movies
arced renown sent same nom de plume doppleganger
quest skyrocketing
analogous to aligning skill sets into stratospheric isobar
which exertion pitched head stone carvers to acquire vital context
where next of kin content with obituary hiz death
unexpectedly Tuesday morning, Feb. 24, 2015 of Loudonville),
tomb epitaph incorporated passion as avid outdoorsman,
who loved fishing, hunting, and canoeing. I aced as supervisor with telecommunication company, Telecom Towers Inc.
yet by some stroke of premature pronouncement,
whence during funeral the coffin lid rise a jar
scaring the s**t out the backsides per mourners,
where demise found sights drawn to undertake
a totally tubular career as graphic artist from Buffalo
(Educated at RPI), who constantly looks for work today, and to mar
row, out of necessity to pay bills, as prodigy with plugging numbers and spitting out calculations
attained plaudits as financial solvency ****, and par
for the course irresistibly tempted forging credentials -
with a self crafted faux pas star
re: expert as a fraudulent Loan OfficerNMLS # 240801 -
but Youngblood’s hired fretful dexterous dude for extra cash tip play *** tar, while police got tips from wagging tail, and unfortunately butter field bursar ruse landed rising star into clinker
sans Cook County Inmate at age 49
CB NUMBER 19043182, when arrest occurred Tuesday,
January 13, 2015 11:53 AM, and released the next day due to first
time misdemeanor plus absent recidivist incarceration possession
of 5000+ grams of Cannabis, which exposure to magical, miracle
and mystical herb set sites to become a professor
Clinician of pharmacology to help fight the so call "drug war".
A stubborn heart is deadly. It has the ability to short circuit the brain, exhaust all the sanity in you, crush your spirits, exhume every bit of sanity from the deepest recesses of your body. It can wipe out dreams of fairy tale endings, change your views on life and love --- turning you into this most cynical person alive. You tend to expect more...to your utmost disappointment in the end.Nevertheless, it brings about an exhilarating kind of joy that makes your being come alive. It brings that ultimate enjoyment of loving without hesitating to give your all. Bottomline, it feels good. It feels **** good.Oh if only the latter would happen more often --- forever if possible. Wishful thinking, yes. In the meantime, I'll just nurse this stubborn heart. Might be all it takes to disarm that stubborn man in his own makeshift loveless world. - Feb 25, 2010...for a dear friend
Fiona Trancy Jan 2017
You wore your top hat with authority
And glimmered like her priority
My madness slipped away in a dream
Similar to the hare's self esteem
You could make anything with that voice
The elegance was no longer my choice
As crowds near
Proposing nothing if not fear
You held out the rose for her
My flooded lungs became a blur
I'd carry the rabbit
Rid the torturous habit
Yet you chose to stay comfy in her web
I don't doubt how frail I'll be this Feb
The thorns could be seen from quite great length
I knew I was torn from malice and lacked the strength
Though your charm proved to cause such a fright
I wouldn't avoid your deathly bite
You'd despise me had you knew
Yet that only sprinkled my eyes a pretty black and blue
True, the cards may have fell in her favor
I just hope I don't make you regret that white rose you gave her
Johnny Noiπ Oct 2018
Asal 2, Einstein's female Driver Kiki is Chinese;                                        
                                          Paul York,
maybe Dead words related to Sarah,         |              |   the girl;
2 O; This story of their group is for,           or with the perfect
emotional stimulation; Finally, the Dead One;    one problem
going to the present, to add, PA Try                  This is a clean
wedding bag,            Oh, my 2 seater, "The trial is in the pool
and the Trade Trade Fair certificates;    Carl is a good source
of happiness;    If you have many walk in the way of thinking
can be seen from CA; and the painful daughter of many T-1,
which is done and it is here; that's not of value
In the lungs, you will find Standard and optional
Milk is the best milk useful Finally,              when the difference
is between 1000.1                  How old is it, Winston;   Hawkeye
Huh neighboring Asia is the opposite;                 These are great
for the census; called upon and talked,                              and no
Suitable, the 1, where the A and Carl Carl, Iowa,                       are important
Despite the part of Friday afternoon featuring Women
featuring in the wings ...                                    Asal 2,                 Einstein's A bike is running.
1, if you know that there is still something in that;                                 agents for the rights of girls, OH and Sarah 'Girl 2';                                    Necro, NY;
We returned to the Lillith Death Sites asking for stupidity;
The question that goes to Ohio State!             take it away;
Try St. PA scams and the beauty of it at the wedding;
"Oh, my picture";             as you start to learn if you're using on February 2
Husband and good in the eyes Blessed is he who goes out of the way
from the rising of the moment that you are able to let the destinations
of the wars, if more is needed,            of CA.                 And large, 1-T;
one of them was killed,                                            and these are as follows:
Where there's something from the little Oh Oh Oh a little bit
Screenshot 1000 Best Home Okane Milk, etc.                                   There's a
ban on passion with your annual yogurt of life;                           In the region
Asia, there's no power in the mean time,                       1 I do not know them;
the great majority we were.                       However, the kicking metastisized
to include cancer,    2 cancer is limited,           and in space;                but the
cause of the fall;              George is on the clock because it's not an alarm
Time 1: That woman got a single day,                                     she was shot ...

Asal 2,                                               Einstein's Driver Kiki who is Chinese;
The poet Paul,                                     if they have to go further to the right
In Sarah's Proxy Are girls' girls;                                      ISIS 2; N-this shop
Renal intestinal travel;                                     AND THE DESTRUCTION
Trouble is the door for death is not;                            Oh, Pulling Scams
St. Try and PA and it's wedding Gown,                           "Oh, my Seth"
in what Fairy 2 O Lagoon slaves;                        Proof proof and; If Happy
Otis is a starting point who is born in pleasure;               We
can walk through ideas,       If they have many CA;  MORE
AND THE driver,   instead of T- 1 THE next issue is Sense,
and there are ONE and Strength,       THAT certain amount
of intestines, Find some amount,               oh Best Scanned
Scenario Because of your 1000 milk milk etc.      Yo, wide
the ban Love O, how old are you, Okani; Near the province
of Asia, huh,                   there is nothing,           the following is the opposite;
These men, who are many there, gigantic.                                   in the record
It's a blessed breast-owl limited to Ka,                                         that's 2 their sites;                 it is not the case with Otis in Iowa in a white-T
alarm 1
In an Art section altar of Eni,                                        Aso Aso Aso Aso Aso
in the ONE wings Well Women are ...                                  Asal 2, Einstein's
driver Keke who are Chinese. The poet Paul,                               if they have
further to the right of Sarah proxy are girls girls;                                  ISIS 2;
NY design RENAL WINDING, RETURN, AND RETURN
intestine Trouble is at the door for death is not;                             Oh Get rid
of scams St. Try and PA and it's wedding gown,                           "Oh, my
Seth, we're doing something Feb 2 On Sailboats;                          Proof AND;
If truth is to start Happy,                            Happy is he who is born To satisfy
us; We can travel ideas during War, if they need lots of CA;
MODERN AND ATTRIBUTION,       Instead of T - 1 THE
ONLY **** SUBJECT MODEL,   And there are THESE
AND RETURN, HERE are some intestines,        Irina some
amount, oh, Best Screenshot          Stuff Because your 1000
Milk Milk, etc.   Yoo Broad Ban Love Oh, how old are you,
Okani;        Near the province of Asia, huh, there is nothing
the Now opposite; These men, who are many there,     high.
in the record Breast breastfeeding breast is limited
to Kiki; that's 2 their site is not the case of Iowa
encased in a white T alarm 1 In the picture section;
The timer's timer of Eli's Day Day Day Day
in the wings HERE BEFORE Women are ...
Asal 2,             Einstein Driver Kiki is a Chinese kid;
Archbishop Paul, if they have to go straight forward
Sarah's representative are girls; ISIS 2;     This store
Intensity of passion Renal; AND DEVELOPMENT
Problems are the gateway to death;               Oh Add Screenshots
St Try and PA and who's the wedding Gown, "Oh, my Settlement
in Trade Fairs 2 Lagoon Products; Proof proof and;             Good
Otis is the beginning of birth in happiness; A
can walk through ideas, If they have lots of CA;                     Many
AND DEPARTMENT, instead of T- 1 Thread that follows is Sense,
and that there is One and Here,             have a value
of the intestines, Find some value, oh Best Scanned
Optional Because of your 1000 milk milk and ultimately.
                                     Yo, throughout
Difference O, how old are you, Okani;
Nearby neighborhoods of Asia, huh,            nothing is the opposite;
These men, who are many there, gigantic.                   in the record
It is a honeycomb that is limited to so,
that is where they are
The essence of Iowa is in Otis'  is T T - alarm,    1
In part featured featured,       Sunday Diet Day Day
in the wings of Women Better ...  Asal 2, Einstein's
Keke that is Chinese.  Paul did not know if they had him
Further to the rights of proxy Sara was a girl girl; ISIS 2;
NY RENAL WINDING, RETURN, AND RENAL
intestine Problem at the door for death is not;          Oh, Take it away;
of the scams St Try and PA and the beauty of the wedding,
"Oh, me Seth,            we're doing something February 2 On the ships;
Proof AND; If it is true to start the Blessings, Blessed is the one born
To search time;                            |        We can travel on trips during the War,
if they need more CA; FROM AND GREAT,
      Instead of T - 1 THOSE
ONE ONLY THE PEOPLE,                                                       And these are
AND REFERENCE, Where are some intestines,
a few yards value, oh Best Screenshot Stuff Due to your 1000
Milk milk, etc. Yo,                               Broad Ban Love Oh, how old are you,
Okani;                              In the area of ​​Asia, power, nothing
In the meantime;          These men, who are many there, tall.
In breast cancer Breast cancer is limited
from Kiki;                        that has 2 their space is not the case of Iowa's case
Alarms 1 In the picture Clock Clock Clock
                                           Day Day Day in the Bows Now NO Women in ...
HANI Mar 2021
finally, i cried my heart out
i cried all of my fear,
the fear of being a failure,
the fear of being left by others,
the fear of not having anyone beside me,
the fear of not surviving this battle,
i finally cried after all this time i buried them deep enough.

thank you, myself,
you’re brave enough to cry again,
to let yourself cry
to accept that being weak is sometimes okay

after this, wake up, and focus
college is about to start again in three days
stop thinking about anything that stop you from growing,

and,
please be happy,
and sad sometimes,
that’s life.
i, sometimes, didn’t let myself cry because crying is one of the most things i hate. when i cry, i look weak, i feel weak, i feel stupid. and yes, i never wanted to tell anyone about how i feel since someone decided to throw all of my story back at me again. so i keep them just for myself. and on feb 12th, i told my friends. they’re not the closest ones, but we have something in common. i just feel i can trust them. so while i typed everything i feel, i cried. i feel.... good by crying. and this poem is for me. i dedicated this poem for me, and maybe for everyone who have the same feeling as me. just... cry it out. thank you!
julian Mar 2010
I used to run-Never for fun--I would more often be running away from something than to it. I think it started in childhood. Never staying in one place long enough to have to fight every kid in the school.-I liked and i hated it. More often i had no control over it. On reflection it was for the better, my nose bleed too much for a kid my age. -In the second phase of my running career I began running out. Never telling the bosses to go play in heavy tracffic or do your **** self. I had morales and above all practised good manners. Instead i would tell the bosses that i was taking out the trash and make my freedom dash. -Oh, beleive me I flet free. The funny part was when the bosses would call my parents. Just as countless pricipals would do when i skipped classes. My parents would luagh and call them an ***. -Then i began running away. I only did it once...well that's a lie. I ran away from my highschool guidence office, far too drunk to face my parents scorn. "Yeah i drank it all. i replaced it with water, much healthier." -The last time I ran away I thought I was going to find myself. I had lost a part of myself to drugs and alcohol. I thought for sure i would find myself on the other side of the country on a small island on the Pacific Ocean. I went to rehab and could not find the person i went looking for. I thought briefly i had found myself, but when I looked in the mirror i could not even recognize my own face. I blamed my mustache. -I realized that running away to find myself i ran away from my family and my friends. Alas the old dies so the new can be born. -In my opinion if one is to run away it's for good. Never to return to such and such a place again, unless of course you have to do your taxes.
I wrote a jukebox program
  For the computer
  I find music on the intenet
  It helps me program
     More programs for the computer

I see people in Ibiza
  I watch them all moving
  To the sound and they smile
  It helps me focus on what
     I can't do. But wish to.

My mind's sight is drawn
   Into focus as they bounce
   Their dresses flipping
   Their arms beating the sky
      No reason. I don't ask why

Together they are moving
   Do they imagine I see
   Their smiles across the miles
   Through time and space.
      I sit, in the dark.


     And dream of dancing.


dr. mgmorrell 14-Feb-2016
I'm old.
Mysterious Aries Sep 2015
"I LOVE YOU" A sweet word to the ear
A flower blossoms that to someone you are dear
A paint that will clear the color of your blue
And turns your lonely heart, to a happy you

"I CARE" a word that will bury to a heart
Words that can't forget even to the last breath of a life
A seed that someday will bear sweet fruit
A fruit that will end up my countrymen chaos

Perhaps if I didn't utter "I LOVE YOU" and "I CARE" today
The saddest word that I'll meet someday
Mister Regret a name that will **** my heart
To then my mission be declared as failed

So then to my acquaintance, to my beloved ones
To you my princess, my beloved fatherland
"I LOVE YOU" and "I CARE"
And then again "I LOVE YOU" and "I CARE"


written: Feb. 22, 2001 @ 9:30 am PH Time

Mysterious Aries
Conor Oberst Mar 2012
All eyes on the calendar
Another year I claim of total indifference
To here the days pile up
with decisions to be made
I'm sure all of them were wrong
Into this song, I send myself
And with these drinks I plan to collapse and forget
this wasted year
These wasted years
Devoted friends, they disappear
I'm sorry about the phone call and needing you
Some decisions you don't make
I guess it's like breaking and not wanting to
There are some things that you can't fake
I guess that it is typical
to cling to memories you'll never get back again
and to sort through old photographs of a summer long ago
or a friend that you used to know
and there, below his frozen face
you wrote the name and that ancient date
and you can't believe he is really gone
when all that's left is a ******* song
I'm sorry about the phone call and waking you
I know that it's late
but thank you for talking because I needed to
Some things just can't wait
helena ferpin Feb 2013
So my sister was born today
And we chose her name as Valentina.
Funny thing is that she decided to be born on Valentine's.
So probably I will call feb 14 Valentina's day forever.
Not a poem, but I wanted to share.
And by the way, it sounds like Valentin (in spanish)
with and 'a' in the end. Not like Valentine's.

:)
Johnny Noiπ Oct 2018
New Bedford has had thirty unsolved homicides since 2000.
Most stem from the ongoing feuds between gangs
of the United Front & Monte Park neighborhoods; the projects.
The gangs are located in the south and west ends of the city.

On March 6, 1983 Cheryl Ann Araujo, 21,
was gang-***** by four men on a pool table
in Big Dan's tavern in New Bedford while other patrons watched,
but did not intervene. During the prosecution, the defendants' attorneys cross-examined Araujo to such an extent that the case
became widely seen as a template for "blaming the victim"
in **** cases. Her case was widely known as the "Big Dan's ****,"
after the name of the bar in which the attack occurred.
Ostracized in New Bedford, Araujo moved w/ her family
to Miami, Florida, to make a new life. She died a few years later
in a drunk driving car accident.The case also raised tensions
between the Portuguese-American community
& other ethnic groups in New Bedford,
as the defendants were Portuguese immigrants.
The 1988 film The Accused was loosely based on the incident,
& the crime is referenced in Dennis Lehane's book
Gone Baby Gone as well as its 2007 film adaptation.

In 2000, crime had dropped to a 20-year low.
Some 3,166 total crimes tracked by the Crime Reporting Unit
of the Massachusetts State Police,
of which 789 were violent crimes;
the lowest violent crime rate since 1975, & 2,377 were property crimes.
The city has been the site of some high-profile crimes.

On December 8, 2001, New Bedford was the site
of the biggest ******* drug arrest in Massachusetts history,
yielding a total of 260 kilograms.
The dealer was Rafael Yeje Cabrera.

According to witnesses and police,
on February 1, 2006, Jacob D. Robida attacked & seriously wounded
three patrons of Puzzles Lounge, a New Bedford gay bar.   He fled to Arkansas where he murdered a female companion
& a police officer and later died from wounds seemingly self-inflicted despite being received in a shootout w/ police;

New Bedford was featured on America's Most Wanted
on February 11, 2006,        for three unsolved murders:
that of Marcus Cruz in 2001,    Cecil Lopes III in 2004,
& Dana Haywood in 2005, run as part of a report
on the Stop Snitching phenomenon that has hindered police investigations nationwide. "Americas Most Wanted" senior correspondent
Tom Morris, who spoke w/ sources in New Bedford
for the piece, said he usually cannot discuss
the number or content of calls in response
to a particular segment. But he said he'd make an exception in this case.
"I was amazed at how minimal the response was.
I'm still wondering if we actually aired the show or not," he said.
"We expected people to call in & maybe say
'Hey, I was there July 4 when Dana Haywood was killed' ...
but we received no useful information."
The show received just a handful
of calls & one e-mail thanking its producers for running it,
the fewest ever for any episode in the show's history,
Mr. Morris said. "I've been doing this for 13 years," he said.
"I was really surprised by this." He said the show,
which aired Feb. 11,           received good ratings;

On December 12, 2006, gunman Scott Medeiros
shot and killed a doorman and a manager at the Foxy Lady *******,
shot a patron and two police officers, then killed himself;
On March 7, 2007, Michael Bianco, Inc.,
a leather products factory, was raided by Immigration & Customs Enforcement agents. 361 undocumented immigrants
were arrested by approximately 300 federal,
state & local law enforcement officers.
About 90 were transported to Texas
in preparation for deportation,   some w/out being contacted
by the Department of Social Services
regarding any infants & toddlers without care.
About 20 DSS case workers were sent to Texas to follow up
on care of families.

In recent years over 80 gang members from UFP,
Monte Park, & the Latin Kings have been detained,
indicted & imprisoned, curbing violence in 2007 & 2008.
In May, 2010, it was reported that "Not a single person arrested
in the roundups since 2007 has yet been acquitted
in the state superior or federal courts"
& "gang-related shootings & homicides are down
from the violent levels seen before 2007."

In September 2017,       New Bedford fishing mogul
Carlos Rafael was sentenced to 46 months in prison
after pleading guilty to lying to federal regulators
about his catches.                Rafael, dubbed "the Codfather"
by the local media, owned 40 fishing boats & controlled
about one-quarter of New England's landing of groundfish.

— The End —