Shoes we wear,
Shoes that get tear,
And when they tear,
We bring a new pair.
The life is just like this,
Change yourself ,
In order to bear the world itself.

Shoes that carry our load,
No matter how bored.
Life is like it,
No matter how many cramps,
But always play like champs.

Shoes we clean to sluff off the dust,
Similarly cleaning evil thoughts is must.
Those costly and and branded shoes are of no use,
Till the soles are loose.
Just like it life has no mean,
Without the soul in which we lean.

A shoe is useless,
If its partner is missing.
Similarly life is fruitless
If togetherness is lacking.
Live together to vision the dream,
Work together to leisure the dream.

Even the small effort can make you learn,
If you are keen enought to make that minor turn.
Make your life that amazing,
And be the brightest star,
On whom the Universe is gazing.

I have a undieing love for you that is a fact proven
And the strands of love we braided together these years are now groven
I would do anything for you my love runs that deep
But time of a love shared has began to get weak
But in my heart it will always be strong
But a relationship between us again now that would be wrong
Even though sometimes we talk on the phone I get lost in our past memories
Then the pains and sorrows of what we had harshly awakens me
But still I would do anything for you
But your let's try again plea just won't do
Yes baby I love you  from the top of my head to the sole of my feet
And if you want me to keep loving you then you would just let me be
No I cannot pick up where we left off and start off new
Still some words you have said to me makes my face blue
Those arguement and fights.... you not coming home some nights
I cannot do it again baby not in this life
I love you enough to leave you its time to be with someone else
And so what if I fantasize about you at times I do it when I'm by myself
I love you enough to give it all up rather than hold it in
I loved you as my girl and I plan to love you more as a friend
Now don't try to put it all on me like I'm the one to blame
Yes I share part in this dilema but you never knew how to be tammed
Don't try to feed me the I changed lies and this time it will be right
Because even though it might be hard for you to believe I sleep great at night
But don't forget I love you
Love you enought to leave you as you have left me times before
For ya friends ya ******* and when you just wanted to be a *****
I have to much pride to have to set aside what my soul knows is correct
I love you baby I love you to death
But I'm not gonna die from stressful things you do
This is why I need you to respect the fact that I love you enought to leave you

Oh Desert Prince!

Your existance is like the wandering golden sand of your fascinating desert;

Light enought to flow through every chambers of my heart,

Gorgeous enough to be the life of the caravan's artistic mirage;

Your love embrace me with sheer darkness and chills of starry nights,

But warm enough to captivate me to stay within your sight;

You are the desert Prince,
You flow like poetry,
Amaze like magic
Priceless unlike jewelries,
And your love seems like a beautiful tragic,
Awakening my deepest desires that I didn't know even exist;

Loving you is like enjoying a never ending magic carpet ride,

That keeps me on edge whenever passed by a strong tide;

Oh desert prince!
You keep me mesmerized how Scheherazade did to Shahryar with every story she brew,

Not Arabian nights though but there's always an unfulfilled thrill in every word you sew;

Oh wondrous prince!

Now when you have played the most melodious echo with my heartstrings
that'd shy away the Qanun,

I'll never let go of you,

Though I don't know if I'll ever have your heart as a miraculous boon;

to laugh at defeat
you must sing it
a beat
and evertime its feels
the heat is depleat,
blow trumpet at it
it will hear it
and quit,
the sound to it grit
naturally it'*****.
and when sometimes
you think
you've had enought of it
play it a piano
strict
each note you unhit
will glide it a stitch
truncheon sit and glit.
music does it fit
calm as a mozart huit.
a soprano seis
never felt so bate.

Folder: Heart aesthetics

The two of us alone by the fire in this wild landscape, tumble weeds and dust. the endless dust.  surely there could be some sort of peace offering that might make the night a little more comfortable than that of the past days. a small truce? suddenly I noticed him watching me. it was in a strange and unguarded way. he almost seemed  likeable except for the fact he was the most arrogant, heddonistc man i had ever met. again I looked at him. I bated him a little.

"dont you know its impolite to stare at a lady?"

There was an instant glint in his eyes and I knew he was thinking of the bathing pool. I blushed thanking the fire it didnt have the air to flicker brigher.  I wasnt quite ready for a reply.


"Yes, and I sure would be in trouble if there was a lady here! cause what Im looking at would be the pride of any man who had the pleasure of meeting them!"


He caught my breath my heart paused for a second. He was oviously alluding to the invitation he so easily tossed at her by the waters edge as he handed her her towel looking away with a cheap grin trying to convey the model of a complete gentleman. I saw him at that moment, menacing and I met him eye to eye. something strange took over me as I watched him leering at me eyes moving from soft peaks to nape , to lips and challenging me with his eyes. He made no attempt to hide the fact that I was desirable in the conventional way. Just not in any other way. but strangely I didnt feel threatened but rather bolder. his hand clinched suddenly as he stood suddenly towering over me. I got up on my feet and walked back a bit to create some distance between us but I stopped unable to mover further than a few feet away. my legs were unwilling to move and his eyes were able to rove freely the peaks and vallies of my womanhood. **** the fabric for being the type to reveal my shape in the firelight,  and **** the hot air that made the moisture cling it tightly to me.


I searched for meaning in his eyes, it came in  the unfurling of his desire and manifested in the breath of my own heartbeat pulsing into a crevice long forgotten. its revival took me somewhat, by surprise. and in the instant you saw it flicker in my eyes I saw it flicker in your own under the brim of that old leather hat. panic! oh hell! not ready for this feeling! uncomfortable sweetness and lazy pulses. weakness dragging along with it a wanton desire crawling molten heat wilting and yet rising in it a will of its own. I reeled inside my mind now lost inside the sensation of my body! reactions everywhere! A deep blush and a nip of my lip  to constrain me. here we are standing face to face a few feet  from eachother and that flicker had started in me a whole revolution. my thighs grew weary of standing so tightly wound together and my hips fancied themselves drawn towards you and took thier liberties from me. here I was held in an uncomfortable contortion hips lunged forward, tightened rosettes lunging to ward you and my mind was now working against me. your jaw seemed so warm and welcomeing and I could see myself nuzzling in the craw... and your hardness proudly announcing its desire to serve. those eyes those lightning sweet flickers, glowed over you warmth and hardness so appealing so pertinently appropriate in its impropriety.


Oh what in tarnations, there goes that waffling **** joy, oh sensiblitily who the hell cares! My mind and body argue and the shakes start to take over and I am completely confounded by my senses. then just as suddenly as it came its forgotten as the realisation of why this is such an offensive state to me. All I can remember are the words he said reeling in my head!


"The invitation is revoked of its warmth on account of your inhospitiable and ungracious prudish manner, but the polite thing to do is keep the invitation open at least on a civil basis otherwise i might not be considered a gentleman."


that was his gentlemanly way of calling her a harlot! Gentleman my-  Hate suddenly crawled up my spine and to my surprise it only served to flame my passion. I wanted what I wanted and courage and boldness took hold. If its civil he wants civil he will  get! I picked up my vanity like a harlott and lunged forward stopping just as quickly hoping he hadnt noticed. Hardly worth hoping. He noticed everything and he would surely call me on it. but insted strangely intent, he stood silent, still and focused. His eyes on my eyes I had noticed once I met them. A rugged jaw clinched and fist tight beside him. but his breath was cheating him of his composure. it was at this moment I knew we were fighting the same wanton battle. Pride dancing with lust, any hopes of love torn from the bitterness of rivalry between us by the fact that he held me in such high disregard. and I only as a pure instinctual reaction, do reasonably as any reasonalbe person attributed  such unwarranted assignment of character failings would do the same.


What was I to him? I found myself wondering what it would be like to be taken under his person, his strong arms pulling me towards him pressed against him... more rushes spun in cirles around me trying to find expression tight rosettes and puckering crevices landscapes once barren and forgotten had suddenly sprung to life. alive and wanting aching craving touch and now suddenly my heart decided to pull away from me. Suddenly fear flooded my body and then anger twisted its self all over me again. What the hell is going on?? Is it in my head? to hell with it ! I peered deep into his eyes and marched into his arms and forced a kiss to push him into my headdiness. and he obliged and held it warmly and gently, though my voraciousness clearly fell away at my noticing of this sudden cordialness pushing humiliation down into my throat and deep into the core of me unleashing a viper


"Why did you let me kiss you? "


I hissed, pulling away. he replied without missing a beat,


"It was the civil thing to do."


here I am rosy as all hell with a chasm as wide as the grand canyon with the words **** etched on to my pride.


"**** you! **** you to hell!"



I rushed at him and my hand flying through the air. it had its own justice to serve and I went with it. Oh hell, i went with it! Rage flew me up to him and suddenly I felt immobilised. My hand stilled hanging in the air, less than an inch from its target. His eyes now burning into me burrowing into me with seering white heat and an intensity that made me want to look away if it hadnt been for my last shred of pride refusing and rather accepting full blindness rather than conceede. suddenly his shadow fell over me and leaning down his lips parted his eyes softened and i felt the tenderly regard he was capable of it made me weak in my knees! I fell  into it as he caught me and in that sweet kiss, so beautifully warm. velvet silkeness I clung to him pressed against himas his hardness proudly declaring his intensions. it was a fit so perfect, that had there not been silk , denim and leather chaps in the way I would have merged with him seemlessly! oh the glorious delight of such care in his ravishment of me! I was lost, I was found!  yet, I was not even aware of anything but a dire need for his impending intensions to come to light.  then I felt him pull away from my lips. confused eyes watched as they pleaded why? He pushed me away and held me back from him like some vile rat and declared


"That is what youre missing as per the original invitation."  


He let me go as pain and humiliation stung my cheeks. reeling once again. I dropped to the ground. I put my hands to my heart trying to cover what he had done.  He had breeched my sacred place my soul stained and forever darkened by this stranger, I had trusted who was entrusted to escort me to my new lodgings... now my closest enemy.  in three days. and to bare for three days more. I am lost. lost. so this is what it feels like when hell burns you to the ground? and to think I almost thought for a second I could have fallen in ? serves me right to think any man would be different.  Im an idiot. That is the exact reason I need to marry money. I regained an inchling of my composure. enought to speak well, ok hell, I spat it at him


"I trust you sir, will be gentlmanly enough not to mention this to Mr Bently?"


"As always ma'am"


he tipped his hat and walked away  from the fire and my ashes into the darkness.


I stood there for a while listening to the bushes rustle till I knew he had found a place spend the night. I walked around the carriage to enter, I waited just enough time for him to get comfortable.  then ever so politely, gave him a reason to rise.  


"Mr Jones, would you mind helping me up the footer? I'm too afraid to sleep on the ground alone."


I heard him muttering and hissing under his breath. I smiled inside. for some reason it made me feel better. He slammed the carriage door and walked off again into the dark. I sat there on the plush bench thinking of him and scolded myself just as quickly as I had thought it. it was a cycle reapeated the whole night and as I drifted off to sleep I even let myself slip a brief thought of myself on a porch cleaning potoates while looking out at Clancy wiping his brow and smiling back... Clancy, Clancy Jones. What kind of a stupid name was that anyways? No woman in her right mind would want to marry a man with a name like that!  Mrs. Clancy Jones...

Any copying or transfer of material whether part or in total is strictly prohibited unless granted permission and directly credited to the author.

Stars above my head,
Gently caress of wind on my face,
The sound of song birds in the distance,
The smell of wild flowers in the meadows below me,

O life how you can be so beautiful.
O life how you can tempt me to be at peace.

Tall moutains around me tall enought to have snow caps resting on top of them,

Forests so lush with life even the deafest ears can here the songs of forest life,

O life you, you tease me with these sweets.

Even as I stand here in this meadow of flowers dressed in moonlight i can not stem this feeling of unease,

It's the knowing that at some point this will end this peace.

Because peace never lasts long.

There are feathers in your step
and sunshine in your smile
inside your freezing baby blues
I see my life in piles
of dust and ash and compost heaps
and endless worls of no
guilt beyond the guilty ones
and looks as cold as snow
It's sad inside those seas of blue
beyond the world I know
I'm lonely loving inside you
and what was high is low
I'm staring at the sky so blue
the clouds all blend in one
I'm coming to your dead rescue
I'm bringing back your gun.
I'm reaching out and touching skin
fingers laced between
hands behind the backs of him
ripping back the dream
my thumbs are in your beltloops
awake i'm waiting for the day
curled around you in the morning
keeping 9 to 5 at bay
goosebumps grace my fingertips
your breath is in my hands
a sound so much like heaven
i'm not strong enought to stand
tomorrow is so far away
from what we have to do
but have a little patience
i'm still trying to swallow you.

This is my S.O.S.
I am falling back in his trap.
He's a silver tongued devil,
a sweet talker who knows just how to reel me in.
All it takes is,
"I miss your sweet face, I wish I could kiss you one more time."
Liar.
I can't figure you out.
Why do you keep coming back?
Two years is enough to move on.
But I haven't either.
Songs and movies bring me back to you.
We were  Allie and Noah,
I had started writing our own Notebook.
Eli Young makes me think of summer nights talking on the phone for hours,
whispering so my parents wouldn't hear.
You sweet southern twang and rules of chivalry
are my weakness.
You were the one I thought I would marry,
the one I knew my parents would approve of.
You were a sweet country boy that brought me back to my roots,
and I was just city enought to give you an edge.
Someone needs to talk some sense into me before I go back down this road.
When we finished you left me longing for more.
We can pick up where we left off so I can get the conclusion I am looking for.
This time I am ready for your poison.

To those who have depression you know that it fills our minds with dark thoughts of our past, present, and future.
It makes us second guess why we are still alive.
It takes a strong iron grip on our chest and makes us struggle to get out of bed in the morning and makes us choke on words like "I am fine." Or "Don't worry I will be okay in time."
It twists the positive words we hear to form negitive thoughts of self-doubt and self-loathing.
It makes us want to hurt ourselves till we can't hear the words of hatred anymore.
It consumes our souls that were once bright and cheerful and turns them into darkness and sorrow.

To those who do not have depression do not understand why we can't just be happy.
They don't understand that every day is a battle of life and death.
They do not understand the effort it takes to get out of bed in the morning and to face another day.

To those who do not know that the words they say hurt us.
We take your words seriously.
When you tell us "Go **** yourself." We actually want to.

To those who don't know that they just forced a peer of theirs in the closet when you said, "If I saw a gay I would beat them up." It makes it harder for them to accept who they are.

To those who don't understand why people with eating disorders hate themselves enought to starve themself or make themselves sick after they eat.
It is more then trying to be thin.
It is the cure to all our problems if we just don't eat this week.
Or we eat and make ourself sick.

To those who don't understand social anxiety.
Loud noises scare us.
Large groups of people freak us out.
Talking to new people makes us worry.
Socializing is difficult and doesn't come easy for like the rest of you.

To those who don't understand why we stay in that abusive relationship.
We feel like they will change.
They said they loved us.
They apologized and said it will never happen again.
They threatened to hurt themselves or us if we left.
They make us feel special at times.

To those who understand everything that was writen above and that has been through any of these things.
Please know this.
You are strong.
You are important.
You are beautiful/handsome/perfect.
You are a fighter.
You are a winner.
You are loved.
You are cared for.
You are amazing.

"You dont know what your mouth says"
I scream into the darkness.
Tripping over the drugs
I take to cover up the pain,
The pain of 15-16 years of verbal abuse.
My own family,
You took me, adopted me,
You should have known the risk.
Your words left scars,
Left tears the stained,
And wholes never mendened
Everytime you told me youd stop
But you didnt.
And soon it began to feel like I was
Never enough...
Not good enough of a daughter,
Not good at picking friends or the person I dated.
Not good at getting ok grades.
Not enought in general.
And now,
Thats how I usually feel
When im supposed to feel good.
Im not enough for you or anyone.
Till I met him. ..
He tore out all the pain
He stripped away all the fear
All the yelling and cornering,
And replaced it with love.
Now I am healing
And my scars pealing in to
Someone beauitful

if the bridges between us were to fall apart
i would not know where to start
when they start breaking
i'd cross them anyway
even if underneath my feet they start creaking
i'll reach your side and there i'll stay
i'd walk the thinnest, thread-like bridge
or the crookiest one that screams of fidge
because everything between us
are strong enought to hold me
even the shortest kiss that will always last
or your laughing face i often see
let me keep the lighter
that will burn down our bridges forever

Is it really that bad to feel happy?
To feel like someone cares?
What's so bad with pretending for a minute?

Sure I wont see you again
Or maybe I will
But it doesn't matter if I do or don't

Is it really that bad tasting someone elses lips?
To feel like someone wants you?
What's so bad with being happy?

Sure it didn't mean anything
Or maybe it did
But it doesn't matter if it did or didn't

You made me happy that's what matters right now
I don't have enought time to care about what other people thinks
I live my life the way I want to not how others want me to live

*** i cant i want to be with you and your all sleeping and **** i want you Danny i want you i want to be with you, i want to be close to you so close to you, i want to lick your lips and softly kiss you and hold you and hug you, and nuzzle into you, i want to love you, i want to love you in all the ways that are possible, i need you, i need you so much, you have made me fall in love with you just by being you, i love you and i cant believe it took me 3 years and several bad relationships to see that, but im glad you kissed me im so glad you kissed me Daniel, you made my life so much better the past year has been better then the past 4 and i cant ever thank you enough, because you saved me, and even tho we'v been threw hell and back, were still together and were strong, and i dont ever want to loose that, i dont want to be that stupid couple that promises that they'll be together forever and end up breaking up, i Want to be with you i need to be with you, you make up such a big part of who i am, Yes i have my stupid little i want to die moments but thats just cause... i have issues ... and **** but so does everybody else and i cant ever express to you how much you mean to me, i really cant, i love you so much oh my gosh i love you and i cant wait to be with you, im waiting im waiting for that day when you'll here i swear i will like cling to you to the point you'll get so annoyed by me, you wont want to be around but you know what i dont care, i love you and its the one thing that iv been waiting for my hole life, yes granted im only 17 but you know what thats to many years, i finally found my soul mate, the one i want to be with and i swear to you ill be the most loyal wife you'll ever have i love you, i love you i love you i love you i cant ever tell you enought how much i love you, im sorry for going on and on and on but sometimes i just have to tell you how i feel regardless of how much it is and yea, and i do recall that one time when you told me how you love it when i love went or how ever you said it but *** i love you so much, your my forever and my for always i promise <3 till death do us part, but not even death will keep me from you <3 just.. delay us alittle, im not letting go i wont let go i cant let go your just so much of me that if i were to ever let go, there wouldnt be anything left of me... BUT im not so that **** can go to hell... but i think imma stop writing and i really wish you were awake to read this and maybe you are idk but... i love you... <3 my Daniel Bishop Allan <3 i love you, Forever And For Always <3
--
~•Foxy-Girl•~

It was the 7th grade , you sat across the room from me
i would sit there day dreaming of what could be
one day i worked up the courage to ask you on a date
i was so anxious that day i just couldnt wait
we went for ice cream because you screamed so loud when you saw the sign
you dropped yours but thats okay , we got to share mine
i walked you home that night confident that the night went alright
so i turned and said to you , darling would you kiss me goodnight?
success!
my eyes shut
* * *
my eyes open , we made it through highschool
it feels like it happened all to soon
we toss up our caps and pack up our bags
because now we want to be college grads
before we head out we spent one last night at home
we talked so much my mother threatened to cut off the phone
so i decided to sneak out to see you
because there was one more thing i had to say to you
I looed deep into your eyes and said baby i love you
but before i could leave i had to say my best line
darling would you kiss me goodnight?
you rolled your eyes at me but it still worked
the picture fades
* * *
The camera rolls
were walking on the beach next to the tumbling waves, as you clutch your red balloon
i didnt do such a bad job picking a spot for our honeymoon
i still couldnt believe the reaction of your old man
when i asked to have your hand
he started to cheer
then started to chug bottles of beer
the wedding was perfect but when you walked down the aisle my heart stalled
the best description i could give would be cinderella attending her ball
the attendence of your family was small
but thats okay we can share mine
so now as we roll in the sand
we lay as the waves crash on land
I turn to you and say darling would you kiss me goodnight
this time you shocked me by saying .. every night
end of scene
* * *
The pen hits the page
beep beep beep
its the day we dreamed of
after 9 months of mood swings, cravings, and craziness
beep beep beep beep
after many hour of labor , finally the baby is here
Sarah , thats what we name her , you opened your arms to have her near
beep beep beep beep beep
you never got to hold her even though thats the only thing you wanted to do
i couldnt believe my eyes , i was losing you
beep beep beep beep beep beep
one of the nurses took sarah so i could kneel by your side
the pain in my eyes was too much to hide
beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
your fading away, what do i say
i opened my mouth to say it was going to be okay
but you shushed me and whispered ... darling would you kiss me goodnight?
end of chapter
* * *
The intro
it saddens me that i wont be there when you wake
and that i wont be there to answer Sarah's cries
or when she calls you momma and your look of surprise
or be there to tell her she can date when her age isnt on the clock but i go by military time
or be with you in your golden years
to stand by you and face your fears
i wanted to grow old with you for goodness sake
but the thought of losing you was more than i could take
they say your heart wasnt big enought , but thats okay you can have mine
so you see this letter is for you
dont be angry just hear me through
i love you and its my job to protect you
i only did what i had to do
so when you feel sad and alone just think back
to the very 1st date when you dropped your double chocolate mint cone
or the many others when we wouldnt get off the phone
how you made me smile
from end to end it would measured a mile
or the day you said yes to being my wife
but most importantly .... that you made my life
conclusion
* *

Call me in the darkness
Call me in silence
Call me when you don't need me
Call me when is not necessary
Call me when I'm useless
               when I don't have enought time
Call me when I get tired
Call me at any moment
               and wake me up at any time
Because I don't want to wait more
               for you and your call
Because I simply don't want to be alone
               in the darkness
I don't want to be anymore
                                             ...in silence

I write slightly intoxicated.
Maybe it's from tge *****.
Or maybe it's from you r kisses.
Or the way you felt on that rooftop.
All I now is I've not felt like this for a long while.
And you seem to know everything I could need.
Kissing you makes me high.
Touching you gets me drunk.
You touching me.
Holding me.
Well that's almost enought to make me passs out.
What am was I saying,
Oh, yeah
You make me feel really quite special.
Intoxicated
And it's not just hte ***** talking.

I will stand up all night
Since I won’t do anything with my life
I can’t dream nor sleep
This time so late is when I can finally weep

I cry and curse
My tragic course
The days pass and the nights end
But I can only ask myself when?

When would the sad nights finish?
When would I find a friend,
A lover a companion that will squish
my fears and scare the pain away

But no, the tears keep dripping
And the moon keeps shinning
The loneliness will stay
and it’s darkness will stain

The never ending fight,
The never ending run
Like a cycle it repeats, isn’t there a might?
A chance of change,

A someone to appear, or as an insomiac
I am doomed to remain.
Alone in my bed, with the eyes wide open
Thinking the worse, in pieces I’m broken,

Can someone try to find me,
And try to repair my sleepy mess
Trying is enought, since my hopes are less
Disapointment has hit me

Twice at least? More than that
I am chained to this bed
I am chained to this missery,
to this mental trap

Should I sane myself?
Or wait to someone to save me
Save me from me, how ridiculous can I be
Maybe the pieces are in a place unseen.

Maybe there’s no pieces to be found
And there’s only a future to make up
Maybe it is better to just sleep
Will it help me to brush the pain with one blink?

let's drink tonight
Lets drink all night
Drink ourselves blind
Drink till we die
drown our livers out.
Respiratory distress we will put ourselves in
Drink our sorrows out
Bring new sorrows in
Drink more
Drink more
Ok thats enought go homew your dri nked enought

She opens up her arms as if she is gathering the stars
The universe ain't big enought to cover up her scars
She doesn't give a ****
She doesn't think she can
She dreams in eulogies

Won't you be her father?
Won't you be her son?
Won't you be her lover?
Make her the only one

Once upon a time she was the girl you think you know
But a soul like that is deeper than what could ever show
She throws everything at the wall
She isn't happy at all
The world is all she needs
But she thinks too small to see
She dreams in eulogies

Its hard to be her neighbor
Harder to be her friend
Her muted desperation
Will make you want to run

Won't you be her savior?
Won't you take her hand?
Tell her that she's good enough
Make her understand

She dreams in eulogies
She dreams in eulogies

Next time I hope you bite your tongue
To save you from making yourself look like a fool
Because I wasn't the one to drink my self stupid tonight
I wasn't the one to ignore my child's problem for an overpriced drink
No, I'm sorry can you hold
Your hands
Cause all my life
I was told never bite the hand that feeds
But the thing is that was never the case
You don't feed
Your hands are to busy
Sending messages that make no sense
Incoherent
To busy flicking a light to pollute the lungs
To busy cracking a can to poison your
Liver
No your hands  were too busy to feed
Because while I was alone hopeless and crying because a  illness in which you neglect
You were out drinking and celebrating
"Hey we made it to today, now let's poison ourselves more"
See your freshly polished fingernails
And heavy ice wrist
Weren't made for feeding
So I'll bite your hands
Because there always busy doing something that doesn't involve me
Your child
Your only daughter
I am the one who locks myself in my room
I am the one who cries and thinks
"I'm not enough, I'll never be enought"
While you drink
And you smoke
And to put it simply
While you make your insides rot faster
No your hands were to busy trying to care for yourself
Your lousy self
Now your hungover and those small sounds I make
Make you scream and shout
"Shut up, be quite"
I'm sorry I haven't ate all day to busy chasing thoughts that swarm in my head
"It's not my fault you don't eat"
Really, cause I see that Chinese two boxes, none for me
Yet here I am trying to eat
I'm sorry I'm a basic ******* human being
Who needs **** like shelter and food
Just to ******* live
And your to busy supporting bad habits to even
Provide basic **** for me
And to me
An alcoholic doesn't exist
At least not with parents
An alcoholic is a person who's love for alcohol stems far greater than the love for their child.

Let's hole up in the house
The next time it pours for hours outside,
Make some tea
And sit by the fire.

Let's grab blankets and pillows,
And lounge around for hours-
Long enought to tell each other
Everything worth mentioning about ourselves.

I'll tell you about the scar on my knee,
And how my best friend from the 3rd grade
Has one to match from the time
We did cartwheels in the streets.

You'll tell me about the time you
First climbed that tree in your neighborhood
By yourself, then with friends,
And how you loved to read up there.

I'll remind you of the time we
Fell asleep side by side,
And you'll remind me of the time
We kissed in a parking lot.

And it can go on like that,
Just us retelling our stories,
The stories from before we met,
And how we'll create new stories together.

I feel as if in walking in the darknes
light stiches are broken but the twitch just enought so I can see something in from of me. I walk towards it, a mirror, it goes my scars, bruises, and cuts from life.
I want to disguise them, but they don't disappear. Especially the one marked with Love on it. It hurts, it hurts like a knife penetrating the skin. I can't seem to stop it. The damage is done

By: Cedric McClester

It’s a fact
Can’t be denied
We’re living in
A great divide
As for the dream
Somebody lied
From this reality
How can we hide

Now it’s not
About your race
But listen carefully
As I make my case
If your income level
Can’t keep pace
Soon enought
You’ll be replaced

As urban spaces
Are gentrified
And long time residents
Hands are tied
Is it unfair
I’ll let you decide
If the fairness doctine
Is being applied

Along the East
And Western coasts
We see this happening
The most
As they migrate
From the burbs and boast
Then clink their glasses
And make a toast


Cedric McClester, Copyright © 2015.  All rights reserved.

Nobody can hate me -
more than I hate myself.
No words are harsh enought to cut like mine,
deep enough to pierce my heart,
but it's okay.
I already have.
Nobody can hurt me,
the way that I hurt myself.
A slap,
or fist,
is nothing like a slice on the wrist -
that I inflict on myself.
Your words can't break me,
your fist can't shake me,
your lies can't hurt me.
Because I -
break myself.
shake myself.
hurt myself.
and most of all,
hate myself.

Are u happy now
With all you’ve got
With money and the body of the god.

Are you happy with idea of beiing perfect
And the place that shines.

But I’m sitting here, looking around
Writing the poems, making no sound.
Actually making a sound!
But i guess i was right, and i’m not enought
But **** those memories they’re ******* hard.
Yeah i remember all u said, i remember the voice, oh yeah!
When i stand up, go outiside i remember when we hang out.
Yeah i remember that spot.

And whenever i see you, its sad because
i remember that now she has something that was between us.


And i guess its true what they say, you don’t know what you had till it’s gone away.

what have i done i k new that i have trusted you but maybe to day i hate what i have become cause every dream i have hate what has been wo did i **** in my own silence. i have the feeling when i remembered something and one day t was to late to say sorry for something i didnt even knew what has happpened
i miss have you as my best friend
i hate how we have gone our own ways
i hated why i needd you the most
i wish i couldent stop my tear
i wish our lives coldnt be this way
i hated how me and you fought over what secrets have been said


my ******* day has became the fear on me getting forced to speak on the stage with fear that im choking up already

i remeber all the gifts and love we are all to gathere but my last day ended threw the sun turning blue

the day is turning in to a misty blue shadow that only begain to folow around me since im not strong enought to follow my lungs fill with fear as my lungs deflate

i hate we could both break the scilence to be to gather

if our self cant what ever

i speak my poetry with no regrets all my words that deep down is the spoken truth of what i think of you. i lay awake all night with no thoughts. you cross my mind but this world isnt strong enought to keep us to gather even if its tommarow. i feel my mind racing with my heart raccing to gather. i could run but what would that do. i dont want to hide i want peace or if not we will bring the riot to **** all of you. the powerfull needs to be taken out. the ones who need to speak are the oneswho you prisioned in the shadows. the un heard voices will come out and flood the stage. we wont back down all the voices now will be heard with force and not pain or misery you shut off..

for every voice every word will create a river of what the strong and the fearless the fear will rain terrior on your grave we stand to gather in the rain and tell the world our storie bring colors in to the dead society

struggle with the words,

tear wrappers back to reveal

the chewy pink, or bitter.  bitter

enought to split your head, the

packing says.



all gets too sickly, too sad,

when small boy agrees

it is good to hear  birds sing.



sweetly he tells me there are other capybaras

in the capybara house.

this is quite relaxing.



sbm.

struggle with the words,

tear wrappers back to reveal

the chewy pink, or bitter.  bitter

enought to split your head, the

packing says.



all gets too sickly, too sad,

when small boy agrees

it is good to hear  birds sing.



sweetly he tells me there are other capybaras

in the capybara house.

this is quite relaxing.



sbm.