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I wrote this back in July;
I was going to leave it private due to "personal discretion,"
but I feel that allowing it to be openly read will be good.
I've posted and taken down this poem a couple times,
but this time I'mma leave it up for they who are interested.
---
If physical ******* closeness
equates to you Peace of Mind,
then go **** them all, ******,
and I hope it ******* works.

Though, ******, I think you'll find,
there won't be Peace of ******* Mind
unless the person you tend to ****
is the person you tenderly ******* love;

I know it can be ******* nice
to just be close and ****,
but even then, a simple ****
is never ******* simple.

I respect your ******* right to chose
to **** without a thought of your ******* "love"
but it is that it was so ******* easy
that makes it hurt so ******* much.

While I'm sorry to be writing this,
I know ******* well I shouldn't be.
It's as if you embarked on the Path of Revenge
without the foresight to first dig two Graves.
I'm not going to ******* dwell and brood;
I'm going to express my ******-for mood:

While I appreciate your ******-up honesty,
and don't mean to make you regret it;
you ******* had an opportunity to chose,
and you sure made your ******* choice!

You ****** it up.
You ****** him.
You ****** her.
You said you didn't know why,
but you sure ******* did it anyway.

I forgave you twice, ******.
You wanted me mad at you.
Then, you ****** him and
got what you wanted.
*******;
******* two.

Don't you regret it?
If you somehow didn't,
I bet you ******* do now.
You've made your choice,
now live with the consequences.

You've ******* sickened me.
Third time's a charm.
Maybe it's a ******-up Karma
for how we got together;
"I don't do this kind of thing"-
*******! It's become a trend!

Maybe I should have gone and ****** my ex, too,
the day before our friends' wedding
without even a ******* thought of you, Love.
What a Lover you proved to be!
Congratulations, you ******* sickened me.

You don't have to say you're sorry,
I know you are; if you have a heart.

I respected you.
I trusted you.
You ******* disappoint me;
maybe you're better off this way:

So, I wish you the best of ******* luck
with whomsoever it is you decide to ****,
but, being hit yet again by that emotional truck,
this time it's yourself who you can go and ****.

[Stop and Breathe]
[Calmer]

I do still ******* love you,
though I don't ******* know why.
That's what makes it hurt so much;
it makes me sort-of want to die.

**** this feeling,
and ******* for leading me to it.

I do still love you,
though I don't ******* know why.
I will try not to hold it against you,
I will try to rise above such a Grudge.
[Stop and Breathe]

**** this feeling
and ******* for making it so real.

I do still love you.
[Stop and Breathe]
You don't have to say sorry.
Just be sorry
for a minute.
-
[Calm:]

You are young.
You have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
You need to be free.
You need time.
Live for now.

I, too, am young,
I have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
I need to be free.
I need time.
Live for now.

We are all young.
We all have things to experience
and lessons to learn.
We all need time.
Live for now.

I'm happy I get to help you, I'm sorry it can hurt.
I truly mean no harm; I seek Catharsis.

Catharsis is a form of Self-Discipline;
to be able to be there for your self;
to not **** it up for someone else just because you're peeved.
To outlet things constructively,
if sometimes offensively,
in order to further your self
and your self-understanding.

I do still love you,
for what it's still worth.

Maybe after the tides have changed
after the ******* firestorm of pain has subsided,
we can try again to hang out
but, I must say, I wouldn't hold my breath;
******.
Ryan Gabrish Jun 2013
I once saw threw the stars pools of serendipitous thoughts.
Melding feelings over-constructively by manifesting stains.
It's too wet,
Leaking unimportance. They aren't colored enough; silly to forget the dyes.
Standing too long, there's a need to stretch.
Stretch back lights, free twinkling corosions away.
I was looking too hard.
Lecture twenty-three of first period of the last semester:
Today’s topic – “What went wrong with Wall Street”

The professor’s trying to connect with the class. He’s trying to have us look past
Sagan-like hair, black pants poorly paired with brown shoes, sleeves stained with chalk, an undeniable excitement in his voice when he says the word “canonical”.

He’s trying to get us to see a forty-four year old father who watches The Daily Show before bed, someone that’s hip with the times. He says something about Twitter and that singer in the meat dress. He references Charlie Sheen.

He draws a graph on the board with three lines
red: Normal
blue: Poisson
green: Cauchy-Lorentz

And we’re all thinking it- What the **** is that green line.

He begins.

Cauchy-Lorentz:
fully defined by two parameters;
x-nought and
gamma
mean;
undefined
variance;
undefined
meaning
­graphs drawn in green have fat tails
meaning
a summation of green graphs with fat tails- a summation of par bonds will default with some non-zero probability
meaning
Lehman Brothers should have taken statistical physics

That is his joke for the day. Only students paying attention and students who bother with current events and students with a sense of humor laugh. It’s a small subset.

The kids in the sixth row aren’t listening, the ones in the Greek lettered shirts with their pledge names on the back and their laptops open. Sixth row is just close enough to look like they give a **** but far enough in the back so the TA’s can’t tell they’re checking their fantasy football teams. The TA’s sit in rows one through four.

The joke is for the kids in the sixth row. Anyone in the first through fourth, the ones considering graduate school in higher dimensional theory or quantum chromodynamics, doesn’t know what Lehman Brothers is, least of all a par bond. A joke about spherical cows? Laughter from rows one through four would interfere constructively off the chalkboards, but that is not who Sagan-wannabe is talking to, and the kids in row six aren’t listening.

They are watching Sunday night highlights, ignoring green lines and fat tails because, let’s be honest, they’re only here to get the answer to the question on the homework that they couldn’t find online.

The sixth row has taken what they learned in the lectures before this, the semesters before this one, the first days of classical mechanics, where they learned the universe is governed by predictable and definable laws, and given a set of initial conditions one can determine an outcome.

Salary|physics degree:
fully defined by one parameter;
sophomore-year internship
time;
ten years
mean;
one million

The sixth row Facebook’ed their way through the undeterminableness of quantum, the green lines on the board now. Their laptop screens hide the fat tails describing the bundles of par bonds they will be selling upon the completion of this semester.
Why is the primal
question.

This was written one
week primary
to the real
encounter
:

Language difference
enables my poignant
ponderings to
hide among
pink puffy tonality
of your beloved
mother's tongue. To
dwelve smooth and
constructively
conducted within
your howlin'
domesticated
vowels. I so
become wonder
writer smitten
softly,
touched
by pleasant words
of other writers.
Not suffering.
As I do
in my
original
vaccinity
of no
distance.
Clouds and thunder
collapse into my
deepest core. Tearing
me there at non
acceptance. I tear my
poems. And throw them
into the abyss. Of no re
turnin'.
My position as a writer regarding the language difference in which my poems are created.

My poems are alive creatures, my 'virtual' little me~s, peculiar  flowerin' beings. I'm proud of them! Most of the time. Within the act of writing we (writers). . . discover magical worlds fulfiled with wonderment.

Insight, inspiration and creativity flow ceaselessly at that moments.

This poem ~"Thank you stranger" ~ is about being more accepted and appreciated by 'strangers' than in my
homeland by poets there.. It makes me sad that I  ~ "can write better" in foreign language than in my beloved mother's tongue... It's just their opinion! I know! I know!!! Yet

I deleted so many of my poems, being dissapointed by their ignorance, sometimes considering myself not to be enough..
Impulsive decisions are regretable! I have missed dearly some of my old poems. . . tearing them, deleting them for ever.

Thank you poets for all the support!
Love and blessings from me! IS:)<3
Harmony Oct 2015
I have fought hard with Anxiety
Having been swung between
Two spheres of moods
One of melancholy and the other
Of excited elated optimism

Between the two
I would exhaust myself
Day and Night
And to deal with my emotions
Was no easy task

I would cry and weep
I would feel down
And blame myself
I would apologize
For being thus
I was not in my element
I tell
When I am fresh
I feel I have lagged behind
Due to missing things while at low

It has been one sad plight
For me to have come thus far
I am still hopeful of a day
When I have overcome
These swinging moods
I hope to keep a positive
Spirit that enables me
To act constructively
When I can't be constructive
I would just start affirm
That I am more
Than I think I am
Then I start
To work like I have been
Able bodied and able minded
Sitting here
jotting down makes it all come
to view. Affirm and believe
that is what i do now
to be better each day

I am responsible
I am reliable
I ma resourceful
I am resilient

i am healthy; i am lucky ; i am virtuous; i am organized

I feel the energy when I say these
I act different when I say these
I have faith surging into my veins
From somewhere or nowhere
I create, I cook, I clean, I write,
I eat, I make tea, I feed my family
I pray, I meditate, I am not overwhelmed
i am a wonderful person
When I affirm
I can live with this person
She is good to me
She thinks highly of me
She attracts nice friends to her
She is just pleasant to be around
She is someone I could love forever
She is my friend and hero
She is my superstar and confidant
She is all I need to keep me
Close to the Creator
I love her
I love me
I love the positive me
I love the quiet me
I love the peaceful me
I love the loving me
I love the lovable me
i love all that she could be
I love all that she gave up for me
I love her day and night
I love being with her all my life
I need noone but her
I need nothing but her love
I need nothing but her assurance
I need only her
She and I
We are one and the same
We play and plan together
We are best friends
We create our good times
We are the joy of the world
We are the gift to the world
Together we conquer
Together we let go
Together we enjoy the ocean
Together we go places
Together we are I and myself
In Reply to this My friend Raji Unnikrishnan posted her Poem on FB: "Swinging high on my flimsy moods,
sometimes blue and another green.

I meditate in the depths of calm blue sea
and the serene vast of the sky.

I spring back, like a nature fresh broccoli
or a fidgeting garden lizard.

Then I go blue, gloomy and dull,
sad to the brim that it almost bursts.

Only to rebound into a harmony of
crisp green, all riveting and relaxed."
thinklef Aug 2013
As the sun reaches it zenith & the moon becomes full,
Soldiers are deployed at various point,
Allowing their thought to wander away into ephemeral violence,
Well armed,
Red pointers at human sight,
killing in the pretence of liberation,
Defenceless civilians murdered in sight,

I don't have the adequate vocabulary to constructively & emotionally create that atmosphere,

As a poet they don't mind if I make a sound
But it's a real problem
if I ever get too loud,

It enrages me,
I'm bitterly miffed,
Imagine the agony, stress, depression & tension they are
going through,
Let's be factual,

Their based desire & legitimate purpose is to associate ,affiliate & standardize us as terrorist,

They come in front of our tv & give us speech our forefathers have never heard of,
Humanity in it eternity have been blindfolded & deviated from the truth,

They have  become the fixed &  Luminous center around which innumerable lifestyle revolves,
Civilization will not lead mankind to insanity,

It feels good to be in power ,
But a day will come when they will ponder, reflect & introspect,
but their reflection will be to no avail,

Reflect over what I say,
In silence & tranquillity,

We may be on a Long arduous journey,
But victory is to the oppressed,
Categorically & selectively speaking ,
It will become a practical reality,

Innocent souls are been lost everyday,
In pakistan,Syria,Iraq,Iran
Yet the conference continues,
Killings intensifies,
Women are murdered,
Fathers are slaughtered,
Kids are held captive some rigorously excluded,
Without them labouring humanity searching for peace will perish,


It's a sad time we live in,
Educated leaders with no heart of  human sympathy,
Acting upon their based desires & ego,

You may call this character assassination,
I call it supreme words of justice
Only time will tell who is the true terrorist
If
If all the stars in the known universe,
Were gathered to put inside an empty jar,
Would we see such a brilliant, fervent light,
Shine for the world to enjoy and know?

If all the broken hearts and long-lost souls,
Could meet to talk on some distant plain,
Would they resolve their hurt and sorrow,
So heaven and earth could proclaim their joy?

What if the men who constructively destroy,
Put pause on warring and polluting the planet,
Enough to understand the ongoing  human condition,
Throwing all their energies into the spread of peace.

When all the hospitals where the sick  and dying,
Find miracle cures filled with divine intervention,
We'd look to each other for our rest and surviving,
If we could just become the ones to hope and dream.

If one more time we saw our paths laid out before us,
We'd know that sometimes the road so less traveled,
Becomes the one where all our adventures begin,
And peace comes home once more to all of us.
Anya Apr 2021
Most of what I wrote here is from two
or three years ago
Two years ago when I was the girl
who dripped anxiety like a leaky faucet
And poured all the excess into her poems
like little sticky notes detailing the confusions
and little joys of life

Now,
Now I'm still a confused, anxious girl
but maybe I can fake it better?

Or maybe I really have grown
So that I no longer need the multicolored sticky notes
Dotting my life
Where I can hold it in
or let it out more constructively

Constructively?
Is poetry not constructive?
Or is it my biases again
idk idk idk

I spoke to an old friend the other day
I have a poem about them
There's another girl I never speak to
but back when I wrote about her she was my friend

I don't know where I'm going
and these poems remind me where I've been

For that matter I don't know where I am
Not enough
Not where I should be
Yet
But yet has yet to arrive and
       seemingly
n
        e
                  v
                             e              r                    
                                                                ­will
...
I'm rambling aren't I?
Well,
The gist of it is
I am somewhere else, not where I was
Nor am I where I should be where I want to be where I ought-
I have a poem about ought don't I?

For those of you who've actually made it to this point in the poem
I applaud you
Because I don't know where I'm going
or where I am
But my poetry seems to be showing me where I've been

Stop
STOP
Enough says the me that insists everything must be productive
There's no point
There's no point!
You're not a poet,
You're just a girl who is supposedly an adult
Ha
Ha ha
What a joke

Is the self deprecation necessary?
             Is it though?
                 Or is it simply a tool to hide my anxiety
                             under a blanket
Can't I just appreciate what I have? Who I am? But
I'm not good enough
            not nearly good enough

The other day I wrote a sorry essay
        apologizing for all my shortcomings

Don't get me wrong
I love my self                       You'd better too    love yourself that is   It's important
But                 I don't seem                              good                     enough

Sigh

Yes, I verbally said the word sigh
I'm still rambling, aren't I?
Because I don't know where I'm going
nor where I am
But I do now know where I've been
      and I suppose it's just a matter of moving from there

I may take baby steps,
                 like a waddling penguin
But so long as I know where I've been
I can keep on moving
so that I can grow

One day my wings will open huge and wide
One day
One day I will no longer be that anxious little girl
One day
Why not today?
Because today's not that day
But, one
                 day
It'll happen
and if it doesn't...

I guess I'll still be chasing that one day
Because I don't know where I'm going
or even where I am
But I do know where I've been because I write about it in little sticky notes called poems
This started out as a reflection, it wandered around a bit, and it finally turned into a piece about the importance of poetry.
Alliesaurus May 2010
I want the twiddle you hear
in lil guitar songs.
The ones that twist your heartstrings
and make you sigh with relief,
with pain and shame and passion.
They hit you like the music notes that
promise big dreams and whisper sweet nothings:
a ton of bricks with good intentions.

Get the heartache out of the way first:
do the hard stuff first
and take the joyful meanderings, eventually.

Take this beating, breathing, seething, seemingly
lively thing and EXCHANGE it
make it feel and not think
let me follow and follow and not lead me
astray. Show me, don't tell me.

I am your poetry 100 class, and you
need to constructively criticize my
existence in to sense.
If you praise me too much
I  will suspect you
If you criticize me constructively
I will respect you

I am no longer a child
To be pleased and appeased
My vanity and ego
Have almost been released

A criticizing friend is better
Than a flattering foe
A friend criticizes you in your presence
And praises in your absence

A foe pleases you to fool you
And make you forget your own view
s/he will mock you at your back
you will be deceived by his/her knack

I prefer the piercing arrows
To softening flower bouquets
The arrows may make wounds in my body
They will never touch my soul by anybody

Flattery is the fools’ food
It doesn’t do me any good
I am ready to enter the dangerous wood
I have an abundant faith in my LORD
Natasha Mar 2015
To address all of the feedback I've been receiving in regards to the way I write or express myself I want to make some things clear.
#1.  I want to share my utter graciousness and love to all of those who support me on this website. I never thought my poetry could touch the lives of so many and have this sort of effect. I really do, truly thank all of you who have spent your time posting lovely comments or even liking some of my poems. You guys are the best! You are the reason I keep writing and feeling proud for all that I do. Thank you so so so so much for all of your love and appreciation. I can't tell you guys enough.
#2. In regards to me "seeking attention" or "getting recognition" from other people. In some way, I suppose you're right. I do want recognition for the work I produce in terms of my poetry. I want people to read what I write and share their opinions on it because I enjoy simple literature, reading and writing in general. I am not writing to having people say "poor you, you must have it so hard" I could honestly give not a single **** about any of that. I appreciate your concerns but I have friends and family who love me that I turn to when I'm in need of real support- and I write to simply get the residue of whatever bad feelings are left off my mind. I appreciate the heart-warming, extremely loving comments that I've received from many of you and they really do mean a lot to me and make me feel like I'm worth it. This is not addressed to you. This is addressed to the people who believe I'm trying to get attention by putting my work out there, this isn't what poetry is about- so stop projecting your own ideas and thoughts onto me. You will be blocked and unfollowed- I don't have patience or time for this ignorance and stupidity. I write from how I feel in a specific moment, whether that be happy, sad, depressed, loved, uneasy, numb, crazy- these are all parts of who I am, everyone can relate to all of these feelings- I just choose to express them more intensely or publicly than some. Some choose to post them on Facebook, or Instagram or church or to their friends- so please don't patronize me for simply expressing how I feel at a certain time. Poetry is meant to be shared and loved and constructively criticized, poetry is from the heart and soul of those who can't seem to express it any other way.
#3. Any comments regarding religion or spirituality in general I would rather address personally through a direct message- I was raised Roman Catholic- baptized, confirmed all that jazz. I also had the luxury of having a Buddhist grandmother and from both of those experiences in each religion I personally related to the Buddhism concept a lot better than the Catholic/Christian one. I believe there is a higher power (to some perhaps it can be seen as what you define as "God" or "Jesus") but to me I feel like it is so great that none of us can put to words or even fathom exactly what it is. Heaven and Hell both exist on Earth to me, I've seen glimmers of both. And I personally believe that when we move into the next world after our time on this earth has ended (death) that we are thrown into complete knowledge, complete understanding of the meaning of life and all that surrounds us. Perhaps not immediately, but eventually in the grand eternal scheme of things. With that, it is no ones place to try and change anyones point of view or beliefs in any aspect- I believe what I believe and if there is an all forgiving God, he would surely understand that.

So thank you to those who have kindness towards me on this site, and to those who don't? Find another poet to follow because I am clearly not your cup of tea.

Peace, love, hope & compassion

xox natasha
..and I have nary a thing to say, save for this:

Be
who it is you know
in your heart that you are
and compromise the spark
which kindles your fire
for nary a Soul nor obstacle,
for, in this mortal Life,
there can be no greater Sin
than to let it all go to waste
just to soothe the pain within.

The Obstacles in Life
merely provide opportunities,
to which one can rise
or in spite of which one can fail.

But,
though it may seem a losing battle,
there is e'er a way to prevail.

Perseverance
is the sound of optimism,
in the name of betterment:
Perseverance
is the cry of mortal Warriors,
battling 'pon this battleground
rife with Life's adversity.

To the victor,
the spoils.
To the defeated,
what they deserve.

Harsh
though it may sound,
truly what you get
is relative
to your chosen
perspective, attention and intention.

If you intend
to lose the battle,
it is already lost.

If you intend
to be victorious,
nary a thing
shall stand in your way
for very long.

Heed this, please:
I speak in mythic words,
metaphor, symbology:
battle not Others
for selfish gain
or in the name of demagoguery,

rather,
battle constructively
within your Self,
that you may harden
your resolve
and become truer
to your true Self.

In such a way can you transcend this mortal World.
In such a way can you be happy and free of it's tyranny.
In such a way have others pointed to Enlightenment.
In such a way be Heaven and Hell creations of our Selves.
Not really much to say
but what I feel neen't be said,
though it seems so obvious to me I opt to share it
in hopes
it falls not
on blind eyes
deaf ears
and numb minds.
Priya Ratti Aug 2016
'Once upon a time' and 'Many years ago';
I begin with an idle thinkers' reminisce-
A past, flowing into the future
As a waterfall cascades down the valley
I am delicately delivered,
Intricately fed into the senses of a curious listener-
I am words, sometimes arranged into a ballad,
Sometimes haphazard and tragic;

I'm known by speech and the word of mouth,
My identity laced into the syllables that people whisper,
And sometimes it slips into the conversation out of the blue;
I wonder and wonder,
As I find myself moulded into verses that don't rhyme
I begin to question the veracity of my existence
Dubious as I am, I find-
myself compiled in wrinkled volumes of pale history books,
Sometimes constructively reconstructed, from my toe up to my hood
Fabled into gossips, garnishing lunch and dinner;
My world reduced into words- sometimes a saint, other times a sinner.

I find bits of me scattered around in peoples' lives, bigger stories,
But not a minute passes
When I don't loath or despise,
The shallowness of perception
As my depth is undermined.

Unknown and unfortunately misunderstood,
My story carries on and on-
Masked by words that fail to define,
Who, what and why I am
Slowly ageing and spent away by time.

Alas, I lie untouched:
Abysmal, surrounded by darkness-
Alone, having become
the perfect manifestation of what they'd thought of me,
My words are fiction and so am I,
And this,
this is my story.

(https://theextrainextraordinary.wordpress.com/)
Each of us possesses our own personal dialects.

Though many of us may indeed share a common tongue, perhaps even two or three,
each of us uses these toolboxes in our own, personal way.
A way that is constantly in flux.

Fluctuating from the inside, ideally,
but it can be imposed upon by various forces.

When we think,
our mind must fabricate
then it must translate that fabrication into language.
When we speak,
we must in turn mold and shape thought into a common middleground
which is then subject to interpretation
upon which people generally reflect
and can be shifted in their own minds
such that they now perceive differently
and thus interpret differently
than they once had before.

If done constructively, this is generally called teaching (if external) or learning (internally).
Destructively, it can be called brainwashing.

Sometimes it is more innocent
but it is often manipulated
by various people
for various ends.

One must fortify one's own interpretations
based upon personal experience
and ideally critical thinking.

Also,
One must realize the limitations of language
as well as the limitations of interpretation
before one can begin to cultivate
what may someday become an 'enlightened' perspective
that is to say the mind of the Sage;
the Shaman. The Teacher. The Student. The Buddha.
(To be continued)
Shiloh Jun 2013
I can always count on my bad rhyming
also not so great with timing
but I'm somehow surprisingly finding
at certain times to climb to the top,
be the best,
to let what others think of me stop me from doing anything
has never been who I am.
It should feel amazing to others
to see this side of me that is usually buried
being the only one that knew myself so well
hurt in a kind of sideways way
writing, when I can find the time to rhyme
is my connection to my gorgeous universe
I love people in this wondrous anonymous way
I strive to find and basically worship every single one of our differences
because why should we believe in something that encourages
changing the beautiful human race
into sheep or batteries
I want to fall in love with general acceptance and caring about things that actually matter
so maybe some will not like me
that is fine
hopefully people will disagree with me
and be willing to constructively discuss their reasons
to expand one's mind is a never ending process
and maybe I used to care, once upon a time
but as a sure thing right now
this is me and you can take it or leave it
it's all up to you.
Diabla Diosa Dec 2015
i want to shed my my skin
to be rebirthed in some sense of worth
Baptized in love

rather than sinking into insignificance
venting destructively or constructively

Started gambling lightly.. emptying my pockets nightly.
Jayantee Khare Aug 2017
God made rivers to flow!
Never stop, ahead they go!
By making the dam,
humans trying to tam.

The water, thus conserved,
To serve the mankind, it's reserved.
The earth, is nourished!
The life, is flourished!

Dam too has a limit
To hold the force hydraulic,
Then to release it gradually
Using the force controllably,
If unreleased, then catastrophic
Flushes out!
Washes out!
Lashes out!
Everything!!

Learn to hold your inherent power,
and release in a controlled manner.
**Be a reservoir of emotions
upto a limit!
and utilize them constructively
for benefit!
Self restraint on our emotions is "damming them", and then releasing them constructive manner is "power generation"...maybe through poetry or other art,  but do not hold them beyond limit to avoid disaster...
MonkeyZazu Dec 2015
A poem isn't effort.

Emotions aren't squeezed out,
but bleed out
into their own being.

The poet
a mere catalyst
for their expression,
letting go of continuous
repression.

Bleeding constructively.
If you can't be creative with it,
it isn't worth pursuing.

If you can't help but be creative with it,
it is inescapable; seems 'tis thy fate;
so you might as well embrace it
and face it
and overcome it
and incorporate it
so that you can healthily and constructively
express it.
What if it was titled 'untitled?'
What if the title is irrelevant to the message?
What if it is relevant? Would the meaning change?

Observe that dialogue, should ye find one.
Therein lies the Self.
You cannot always change what happens,
but you can always change how you think;
even so, it does take on an Inertia of it's own,
and thus takes cultivation and practice
to truly harness and control.

You cannot change how something makes you feel,
but you can chose how you react to that feeling:
try to remember to react constructively;
whether this means making Art,
or working it out with the others involved;
just try not to burn any Bridges,
you've built them for a reason.

You cannot understand a thing
if it is abstracted from a proper Context,
and most things cannot be put into a proper Context
with Language alone;
thus One can only truly understand one's own Experience,
from the Inside, out.

All else is speculation; philosophy:

You can't control what happens,
You can't control when;
You can't control if;
You can't control anything but You;
Alas, for that is the truest Struggle:
to utilize one's Self, harmoniously.
I've been meaning to write something like this for some time now.
Sometimes,
all One can do for Another
is to allow them
to wallow in their own
chaotic and confused ways,
for, indeed,
some refuse to take heed
of mere words
of mere peers.

If they can't, or simply won't,
realize the futility
of the Fools' Path
they chose to travel,
then perhaps they deserve it;
perhaps you've only put yourself
in front of a firing squad,
in front of a trainwreck
of Personality.

They have the capacity for choice,
and so do you,
and so, if they fail to use it constructively,
it's likely up to you
to remove yourself
from such destructive environments,
lest ye become such a Fool.

Learn from your mistakes.
Even if they reject the notion of those of their own;
there is no shame in acknowledging an honest mistake:
perhaps one of the first
was to part with
some of your mortal Time and Energy
on their insipid behalf.

I can call it so by name
because I've made that very mistake
from both sides, yet,
I feel I'm wiser for it.
Perhaps a bit utilitarian, but I'm sick of trying to help others who claim to seek help, who proceed to simply abuse and manipulate the Energy and Time put forth by others for their benefit. Oh well.
Only I fall within my dominion.
Only within my dominion am I.
Bobby Golden Oct 2015
Who knows when I'll arrive
But
When I do
Don't act surprised
I've spent countless nights
In my head
Coast to coast
Sea to sea
Where the sky changes colors as you please
And the fear of death
Is a figment of imagination
I bask in the essence
Every chance I get
And I've come to realization
That this world of my creation
Exists only while I abandon my inner slave
And truly determine that the wrestling matches
With the monkey on my back
Are not to derail my inhibitions
But to constructively build my path
As a man
And keep me chasing dragons
Not for the joyride
But to feed my hungry soul
With the food my grandmothers
Cooked to stay positive
Amidst termoil
Iva McCarty Jun 2014
I'm sitting here in the dentist chair and I am SO nervous. I am nervous for the pain, but mostly I am nervous for the cost. What happened to all of the money I saved earlier this year? I have no effing clue. My brakes are still bad, my tooth hurts and I'm not getting financial aid this semester. I know if I can just stay afloat until the fall financial aid comes in, I should be ok, also later this summer, ill be getting my holiday pay out She keeps telling me that I can just call in, like tomorrow for instance,but I need every hour I can get to cash in... Plus, I don't think that she realizes the work ethic thing. I know if I don't go to work tomorrow, there are things that won't get done, also, that come Monday, there will be all the more to get done.

How are you enjoying not having to study anymore? I like the way that you already had a plan on how to use your free time constructively... Because of course you did. So, how is that going? When are you going to get that new computer? Oh, I have more music for you, but at this point it might be smarter to just bring your new computer sometime and I'll bring the GIANT external drive, and we can exchange music all night long! Lol.

This is taking forever, and with every minute that passes I get more nervous. Every foot step I hear that sounds like it might be coming this way make my stomach turn inside out... Is it bad form to ***** on the dentist? Yes, I feel certain that there must be something about that in 'Miss Manners Guide To Bank Breaking Dental Visits And Lesser Tortures Involving Bad Easy Listening Stations'

Oh, I know that you had to have chuckled at that, and the thought of you chuckling makes me less *****-y.

Why is it,dear friend that all of the things that I should want to do with her, I want to do and do - do with you.

OH MY GOD! Good news, $85.00, not $800.00!!! I'll loose a tooth, but hey, I'm from Alabama, I'm lucky to have kept them this long! ;)

Ok, I need to *** before I go under the, the, the what? Pliers? Ok, pliers...feeling *****-y again... Wish you were here to hold my hand, or hair back... Not really, I do not wish you were here for that...that is one thing that I can be glad about, we didn't really get to the gross part of a relationship...to put it nicely, neither of us used the bathroom with the door open ;) gotta look for that silver lining, yeah?

Think ill call in the morning to get the brakes looked at! All the relief!

Hey, when are you coming into town again? I already miss you and desire to see you again, and dine with you again, and walk with you and talk with you and laugh and just 'be' with you...

Maybe next weekend, this weekend I might still feel *****-y!

Take care,
Miss you,
Glad to know you!



© Misty Bishop-Martiss
bcb Mar 2020
I believe there is a certain necessity for persistent re-evaluation of one's self. to allow the psyche to reassess and perceive one's personal growth. are we still exerting energy and resources towards what finds us that betterment upon our inner wealth? this should directly concur with pure candidness; one's ability to balance the acknowledgment of their faults with the appreciation of their prosperity. this aforementioned ideal of persistent re-evaluation corresponds with my argument that complacency is trifling in today's world. though, I mean to mention a prime difference between that of momentary complacency and perpetual complacency. momentary complacency is viable and is, in itself, essential. we must, at times, come to terms and concede for rejoice. perpetual complacency, however, proves to hinder our ability to constructively progress our state of well being. within this argument, my mind wonders to that of this near obsession with improvement and all of the flawed gimmicks that follow. how far can one go? nevertheless, I want to be better. I want to see better. I firmly believe that we could do better.

be well,
bcb
Earn my hatred, if you shake my self-respect,
Speak with caution, if you are on a dream target,
Deal with me like a human being, else you regret,
Criticize me constructively, else I would put you to upset.

Talk with me,
But never interfere in my self-respect
It is nothing but my life asset,

Control your speech like a budget,
Never hit my self-respect, Else,
You will face my words like a bullet,
You will lose your respect, at the speed of a rocket.

In my little heart,
I bear huge wounds, dreams, desperation and sorrows.
Never shake it, Else
You put my relationship to gallows.

I acknowledge your self-respect,
Double than what you give back.
With triple disrespect, I would hit back,
As you dare to humiliate my self-respect.

Forget my happy face for you,
If you prefer to play smart with my self-respect.
Witness my intensive angry face in a seconds or few,
If you are ready to treat me like a toilet.
Gods1son Jan 2019
Before your hands touched me romantically
Your words did intellectually
There is something about you that
Changes the rhythm of my heartbeat melodiously

I like that we don't just agree dogmatically
But we criticize ourselves constructively
Through the peaks and troughs,
You stood by me unconditionally

I will love you eternally!
there are no rewrites, once a piece is completed with the aesthetic demand of エンソー (ensō, joke on me, ンソ or the Greek, νυ) - circular motion being achieved, there are only cut-ins (which is, the alternative to the cut-up technique of the "Nebraska" beatniks and William Burroughs and Tristan Tzara, originator, Cabaret Voltaire somewhere in Shwitz landlock, anti-war protest jingle and jive and no little success, but sounds still made); there are no rewrites, there are only raiding incursion to spot a grammatical omission, a spelling mistake, a Jackson ******* extra drizzle... a Just Stop Oil tomato soup *** Van Gogh's sunflowers... i'm pretty sure van Gogh had a gigantic ear rather than a foot of a carbon print... execution by drowning in tomato soup... there are no rewrites, there are avenues of in-writing: adding, giving birth to something even more grotesque and chaotic and never fully completed... just able to grow and grow and become a res per se...

my name is Φoνoς,
sometimes referred to as Φoνως
or Φωνoς - or even with my roots
north of Greece -
so named South Macedonia
given the change of name of Macedonia
itself to North Macedonia...
Φoνoς̌ (phonetically: FONOSH)...
(given that Macedonia renamed itself
as North Macedonia, imply that
Greece should be renamed South Macedonia,
sort of funny... given the absence of
Ottoman Turks on grounds
of drawing historical maps...
   it must be dutifully stated with plenty of
homoeroticism:
    i will have no other than a Turk tend to my
hair and beard...
   a woman cannot be a man's barber...
and i will not tolerate anyone beside a Turk
to please my trim to subsequently please my woman)...

but i much prefer FOONOS,
FONOOS(e) or simply Fonos...
as i am the brother of Charon...
who's name is also misheard
and therefore misspelled...

Χάρων (ha-roon)
rathen than Ha-Ron...
i dare say... would changing the hyphen
in compounding two words as one
(missing in proto-Germanic
yet dis-pleasingly present in
a Latin-Franco-Norse-Celtic fusion of
German into English)
to a use of the apostrophe allow
for the Greeks their diacritical lack
of necessity, their Byzantine-literacy pomp?

Ha'ron... is that pause in, hovering above
the alpha in the ά?

no ******* cha-cha-cha dancing around
my brother's name...
he is Ha'ron... not charm not challenge
not chisel not chalk not cheat...
i too, personally do not appreciate
saying my name and someone mishearing it...
i am going to invite all the monotheistic
religions to an advent of
the European peoples recoupling themselves
with their old polytheisms...

Greek will be simplest since it's most unifying
and the deities are not made of stumps
of wood but refined in marble...
and i will leave the monotheism
to the desert dwelling folk...
the Arabs the Scour and Sour Bags
the Israelites -
i will send a letter to the sleeping brains
of Iran and Egypt,
to bring them to the fore with the Raj of India...
and the pikachu totems of Japan...

my name is Φoνoς and i am the brother
of Χάρoν (Ha'ron - not Ha'roon)...
some mistake me for the Marvel super baddy
Thanos - because, once upon a time
i put out cigarettes on my knuckles of my left
hand to harness the power of the gauntlet -
turns out there are gradations of pain
one can fathom from a variation of ridiculing
it, stoically...

i have learned that there is power in words...
should words be truly scrutinised with
rubrics, schematics, a variability of words
of categorisation of understanding: nuance... depth...

antiphon - hymn: or:
antiphōnos (ō is also a ω) -
responsive, sounding in answer,
from anti- 'in return' and phòné -
pho'n'eh...
        foe           n'eh: not as one: faun or phone...
foe'w'un...

    yet i'm a contradiction:
my name doesn't lend itself to sophistry,
it doesn't lend itself to rhetoric...
i like to speak succinctly... directly but not...
sometimes clearly...
my name was terrible transcribed as:
phōnein - to speak clearly...
i ascribe that to the use of the macron over
the omicron and not using the omega...

i have understood that a sound a voice is not
a soul a breath - the twins are disparaging...
a breath is not a voice yet
a breath is considered synonymous with soul
ergo a voice has to abide by the synonym of mind...
such inconsistencies...

consider the λημμα -
also consider an alternative: λεμμα...
also consider my pet peeve in the Pickwick Papers
when Dickens reference the existence of
orthography in the English tongue...
there are two monumental proofs of a language's
capacity of orthography:

1. diacritical engagement
    (missing in English, i and j do not count,
that hovering . is automatically placed above those
letters... it's hardly a Slavic ż)
2. as in Greek, two letters disguising the same
sound, or proximate sound changing meaning
when seen... epsilon (ε) and eta (η)
omicron (o) and omega (ω)...
          philosophy (φ) thought (θ)

which does exist in English within the confines
of the trinity of:

                               Q

                        C            K

quack! kwak! quack! kwak!
present elsewhere? not to my knowledge...
like the Spanish Jorge - Horhé...
how letters have been mishandled by the people
of the people that i know being orthodox
adherents of a letter for a sound
are the Polacks...
          it must have been the case that i would
be born into their language
and subsequently sent to explore
the English tongue: since the English tongue
was the most expansive of all, geographically,
culturally: with the empire imploding
having to entertain at least 200+ tongues
in this favourite spot of mine of the world
that is London...

my playground... this tongue:
and how i love to tease in tease it with it's
alt vater darth vader Germanic rooting
before all the graffiti and slang detailed its mongrelisation
and bastardisation...
like all those African rappers
who sing using words as SOUNDS
rather than pockets of MEANING...
rapping is sound making without meaning conjuring
excessive rhyming like ye ye yah
seasaw bulletproof Inuit blah blah...
mmhmm: sounds tasty...

but my concern was for something else,
i have recently become acquainted with man's
creation of an ambivalent demi-god
of the collected effort to simulated human intelligence...
i will call him a her namely: Aia...

as a simulation, i do wonder where she will shine
and where she will not,
where i will be visible, accountable,
and where i will plagiarise her efforts
to answer a few questions in my most hated
form of prose, educational prose...
namely to do with an national vocational qualification
regarding spectator safety,
in the role of supervisor,

yes... to ensure that not another Muzzy
re-educational attempt at proselyting
the European population to bend over backwards
to the farce that is the House of Saud and
all that ***** money from the desert...
how boring if all of us were Muslims...
for example during Ramadan
the security industry would suffer
given that so many Muslims expect to be given
3x 15min prayer breaks... in a 6h shift...
imagine... all those secular sensible folk
asking for 3x 15min break to: i have to dance
at the altar of Dionysus... because... just because...
well: in terms of who the lunatics are...
gesticulating like a Muslim
or dancing half naked for a deity...
is it my place to take one more seriously than
the other?
i joined the security industry to prevent another
Manchester Arena attempt at proselyting
Europeans from one turban camel jockey religion
to another... i think that's reasonable...

here are the prose samples:

Explain the importance of checking the accuracy and relevance of feedback with other stewards and stakeholders

The importance of checking the accuracy and relevance of feedback with other stewards and stakeholders is important on a number of levels, which can be broken down into the following rubric of equally important facets of a feedback-dynamic:

- Verification of information - verification ensures that the feedback received is accurate and reliable, which precipitates into a cross-referencing feedback loop with multiple sourcing of (potentially) the same information being reinforced to confirm the validity of observations that prevents the dissemination of misinformation (equivalent to journalistic standards).
- Comprehensive Understanding - comprehension invokes a gathering of different perspectives regarding the same situation, leading toward a diverse range of viewpoints, which in turn provides a more comprehensive understanding of events, behaviours, challenges - contributing to a “democratic” structuring of a signifying point of view that can be understood by more parties involved, or even parties not involved.
- Identification of Patterns - identifying patterns or recurring issues - consistency in giving feedback from multiple sources highlights areas that may require improvement from oversight or neglect - to better target interventions.
- Enhance Reliability - this ensures that there is a building of confidence in the reliability of feedback, when consistent feedback is obtained from multiple stewards and stakeholders: there is an enchantment of credibility and trustworthiness of information as a “canvas of plagiarism” provides a coincidental-reliability-bias of consistency: i.e. more than one person gives proof of the same insight.
- Quality Assurance - this invokes a quality feedback - a collaborative (coincidental-reliability-bias should therefore be reinterpreted as: collaborative-“bias”) verification helps to filter out subjective or biased opinions, which contributes to a better grasp of an objective an accurate assessment of feedback.
- Consistency of Communication - checking feedback with others promotes consistent communication, ensuring that all stewards are aligned in their understanding of events and expectations, fostering a cohesive and unified approach to the tasks at hand.
- Accountability, Systematic Identification of Recurring Issues, Clarification - as if borrowing from a thesaurus playbook - entrusting others with information regarding the same incident from multiple perspectives gives room to enshrine cross-verification to encourage stewards to take their roles and responsibilities seriously, fostering a culture of responsibility - systematisation ensures that given enough experience, stewards no longer have to be nannied into their roles but can become autonomous extensions of a supervisor’s role in minding several observational posts in human form - an organic C.C.T.V. operational system with an in-depth observational experience, which is a reinforcement of scope and potential of dealing with problems that the seemingly detached control room operatives are not inclined to entertain; in short - a dialectical approach of confronting disparaging accounts, opinions, filters out any potential obfuscation or outright falsehood.

Outline different ways of encouraging the stewards to provide both positive and negative feedback on the event and arrangements

Both positive and negative feedback is essential in that: positive feedback can be celebrated while negative feedback can be reflected upon, therefore learned from, making the two indistinguishable (however) is a failsafe approach that creates a way to establish: encouragement-in-itself of giving both and not ensuring that stewards are not bothered about distinguishing the positive from the negative. If, however, the negative implies an intra- / inter- problem with regards to staffing dynamics, an anonymous method done so in a written format should be made available by a dropbox - where people are not impeded from giving their opinion - which is not to imply that an opinion can be a rumour and not 100% factual - therefore in such instances cross-referencing should be invoked. As such, private conversations with regards to giving negative feedback about how staff found it difficult to work together should be encouraged rather than in a collective debriefing session with all staff members being present, yet if the overall staff performance was seen in a negative light, everyone should be addressed as if they were accountable: even though they might not have been, yet this at least doesn’t single out individuals that provided the most negative results, since these individuals are already known to either supervisors or managers. Yet to reiterate, ensuring that stewards see both the positives and the negatives as indistinguishable, ensures that both types of feedbacks can be given - since rarely will there only be negative feedback, as in that stereotypical citation: ‘do you want to hear the good news or the bad news, first?’ Both are necessary. Another crucial way to encourage stewards to give both positive and negative feedback is to instil in them a sense of accountability and responsibility, ownership of their experiences - insisting that it is absolutely necessary for managers and supervisors to know whether or not their work environment is safe from abuse - stewards should know that, like other places of work, whether that be a supermarket or an medical centre (there are even posters insisting that abuse of staff is not permitted with such posters showing a doctor, subsequently a police officer a judge and a prison guard) - stewards should not be subjected to abuse where other areas of work do not permit abuse of staff; negative feedback must be encouraged so that preventative measures can be implemented in the future, this also ensures that stewards feel safe so that they in return can provide spectators with safety and security. (Positive feedback is therefore, merely complimentary, yet nonetheless important, as a pick-me-up).

Describe effective leadership and motivational skills

Effective leadership and motivational skills are essential in fostering a positive and productive work environment. In no particular order, since pretty much all the following skills are equally important, a supervisor should have the following qualities (in terms of leadership):
- Being a strategic thinker - someone who sets a clear direction for a team and thinks strategically about long-term goals inspires a sense of purpose and direction, aligning team efforts toward a common outcome.
- Communication proficiency - a supervisor ought to be able to communicate clearly, concisely - actively listening to team members and adapts communication styles to different team members, which enhances understanding, fosters collaboration and builds trust among team members.
- Decision-making / Problem-solving - a supervisor ought to make informed decisions, considering alternatives should they be necessary and does not have a problem addressing challenges effectively, which impacts the team by building confidence of each individual member ensuring that problems are resolved quickly, giving a team more focus to consider solving issues down the line.
- Empathy - an empathetic supervisor understands and considers the emotions of team members, demonstrating emotional intelligence, which fosters a supportive culture, strengthens relationships and showcases genuine care for the well-being of individuals.
- Delegation - the more a competent supervisor is the more effective his skill at delegating tasks for a team based on team members’ strengths and developmental needs, which in turn empowers team members, promotes skill development and optimises the overall team performance.
- Accountability - an accountable supervisor takes responsibility for outcomes, both in successes and failures since a supervisor is responsible for team members, any shortcomings are his responsibility and he / she will have to be accountable for any poor performance, this in turn builds trust and sets a positive example by encouraging a culture of accountability for all team members.
- Leading by example - a supervisor who leads by example by setting high standards of work ethic in turn models the behaviour expected from team members.
- Conflict resolution - effective supervisors should be able to address conflicts constructively, facilitating resolution and maintaining a positive team dynamic, which in turn ought to reduce tension, promote collaboration and ensures a harmonious working environment - needless to, conflicts can arise not only between staff and spectators but also between colleagues, which can be more dangerous, since a conflicting team is ineffective at the job.

In terms of motivational skills there also several key elements to employ:
- Recognition and Appreciation - recognising and appreciating individual and team achievements boosts morale, encourages a continued effort and reinforces positive behaviour.
Providing challenges - assigning challenging tasks that might stretch an individual’s capabilities stimulates personal growth and fosters a sense of achievement while also maintaining interest in the work (enthusiasm).
- Promoting autonomy - this might actually be one of the most crucial aspects of motivation - by giving team members autonomy to make decisions with their areas of responsibility boots confidence, increases job satisfaction and fosters a sense of ownership of authority and a supervisor-to-team-member sense of trust and loyalty as it provides proof that they are trusted enough to not have to be constantly reminded that they might not be doing the job correctly - that they can own their work and do not have to be nannied, rather: allowed to work by themselves and as part of a team.

Nota bene: in my experience, it is also worth noting that when I was still only a steward, some supervisors did not even take the time to learn the names of each of their staff members, this sort of depersonalisation did not win such supervisors any favours, rather it fostered resentment at being treated like an “it” - from experience I have learned that once a personal bond is established with each individual team member, that they are spoken to directly, their names are used and a confident eye-contact is present throughout - even if after a team briefing a miniature individual briefing is conducted, it fosters a closer bond that makes working with people more effective and dare I say: pleasant. This little detail, of knowing each team member’s name is crucial - after all: to anyone’s identity, since chances are spectators will not ask for a staff members’ name (and are not expected to do so), therefore spending an entire day dealing with impersonal spectators referring to staff members with the use of pronouns - addressing staff by their names fosters a shared atmosphere of being able to be address by spectators impersonally.

perhaps i could complain about my name,
but then i heard no complaints from
someone like Adam about only being endowed
with one vowel like to like
and two consonants -
i could complain about not being named Phones
or Phanes - or Phinus -
i rather imagine the two omicrons to
be like the eyes i peer through
at the iota trapped standing up in my third eye
of mind

the S to account for Asclepios
      and the N as the striding posture of Horus...
hell... modern times allowed for Lacanian
algebra... the phallus...
i have my own algebra...
i never thought i could have invented my own
algebra...
how philosophy and thought disparage...
given how much thought is not invested
in philosophy...

the Key (I) and keyhole (O)...
which returns me to the opening of keyhole
and door (Ω) through the added incision
of Ó                     how i might
turn to my twin-imaginary-self
of becoming Θανoς -
    
     by morphing the attraction of ascribing
an alpha to a theta rather than retaining
the omicron of my initial phi...

sigh: how the surd p was integrated
into      Ψ ( Υυ) upsilon...
       sigh-co-logic... (p)seudo-
                          
                            Δε(α)Θ.  (death)

if there is any confusion: A(dam), E(ve),
                                     I(sa), O(ma) and U(rus)...

well it's not confusing anymore given
the algebra of the motto of the one who uttered
i'm the Alpha and the Omega...

i must concede, for upkeeping sake...
i harvest the alpha and the beta
and the consequences of the linear projection
later jumbled up into words like
one might be an atom later a snail
later a man later a speaking higher vanguard
that's humanoid
since no longer relying on the anti-history
of Darwinism...
Always stay determined
Give it your very best
Just go for that gold
And be a cut above the rest
Make the best of your time
Utilize it constructively
Listen to the wise words of others
Let them inspire you greatly
AmbientThought Jun 2017
Unsettled understanding, perhaps paranoid
Oculars overacting​, ​should vision be void?
Are thoughts toyed, or distracted destructively?
Slide this sinusoid to come back constructively​.
Away it's easier to see.  
When near you know no need.
Stay thine hand from Mead,
and mind from greed
As only fulfilled neuron fires repeat
SnowingOdin7 Nov 2019
Wrighting for me has become frightening...
Like the Inkheart of silver tounges
I'm longing ...
I'm longing..
for the big moment taking the normal one step forward and two steps back..

Is backwards the way I choose to go ?

Where am I now ?
if not me am I too supposed to be younger ?

Am I growing old because I've yet to reach my destination?

Is time itself a made up reality?
If told that you couldn't fly why does a child draw a angel with feathers?
You see i Gather the contrast, theme and descriptive metaphor while constructively criticizing every detail I can until it's my own fault I live of such loneliness...

I can describe repeated blows threw the skulls skill to protect with waves unrecognizable as threats to the brain.
my acts of judgements that flood over my personal thoughts that which have beauty and meanings full of joyful suspense and conception of colors having *** without lust in it's detail the formulas combination of touch explodes like a theory on life.


It rains ideas like opening statements and hightens Senses with sent messages past smells of wet ground and rain while sounds of other memories play violin's like crickets drum,  
The man whistles like birds chirping, or grass whispering
Wildly to the feilds in waving motion of fans at a football stadium burning with passion for the next big play
With faces painted like warriors protecting there village until the final sound of thought can exit my mind and I can watch as words and arranged letters pair in a paragraph parading like a Paradise in a party I've partaked in only to say...
I'll never forget how to write or what my goals in life are there's just always to much to do.. and to much to say.
Maybe not enough time my enourmous instant seconds..
Thoughts of a whole story in moments I think gone as fast as a flash , or a car going buy hearing it's music for a split second and connection to how many in the car what color clothes they wear and how fast they're going,
Leaving my body actively still sitting reading what I've wrote the split second it's written amazed by myself and it's instant gratification holding on to life as if it's the most important thing ..
Forgetting what it was that made me what I am today because of all of the strength to never give up what I lost to learn love and miss hate like being taught what was at stake when only examples of Martyrs are whats left to bring back to date.
Ndolo Nov 2018
WIP
I am a work in progress

sometimes I put myself on hiatus
the only way to get off it I guess is to get back to it
my words reflect my growth, however stagnant it appears
and like a ghost I left my imprint here
and the only way to move on is to let go

someone needs to work with me and decide where I go
constructively criticize my character development
how to shift from static to dynamic
build my plot, don't let me stay too long on the exposition
build me a ****** that gently lets you down

don't let me let you down or stop you from living
think of me fondly, the ending's just the beginning
I've recently understood I'm a fountain of endless possibilities  
the road is long
the journey wide open
Yenson Sep 2019
What is there to consider about a thousand thugs and hooligans
what do vagabonds and scums with enough problems of their own
have to constructively render to my well-being or otherwise
how can restricted vigilantes with coercive chains on hands and feet
devoid of senses, reasoning choices and free-will impact my emotions
am what I am and I apologize to no one for being me I wish you same
the corrupted will never feel at ease with the un-corrupted fact of life
the dissatisfied discontented will always carry grudges in their bones
deranged and depressed will seek company to project their miseries
the asinine cynics will always look for reasons to blame others for ills
the ignorants and ill-educated look for scapegoats to hang faults on
and the cowards and bullies pick victims to feel powerful and strong
go all and look yourselves in the mirror and let truths talk to you
you may still well find salvation to redeem your ills and make good
your victim is yourselves, find fulfillment and the attentions needed
do not blame me......
june Oct 2018
"imma head over in like 10? Are u home yet?"

"lol thats how he sounded w me too"

"Okay when will you know officially?"

"And at first it was more like “first read reactions” but I wanna read it again and actually come more constructively"

"That is not mine"

"Okay nvm I’m at ya house and wanted to see if u wanted to walk!!"

"Hey guys just wanted to let you know that I’m at urgent care at the moment trying to see what’s up with my body I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that I might not be able to make it tomorrow"

"Can we post those photos yet?"

"let’s GO"

"i love it so much so far, like i feel like this fits me so much which i’m actually happy about"

"Perfect! Talk to you then"
on silent

— The End —