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"compartments" poems
We have holes in our hearts That are either Scars from the past Or empty compartments To be filled in the future
0
Oct 11, 2019
Oct 11, 2019 at 10:42 AM UTC
Untitled
I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the ***** whale, and the ***** whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily. Life will never end when you are in it.”
0
Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 1:30 PM UTC
By Lemony Snicket
I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of a vulture. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the ***** whale, and the ***** whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I never want to be away from you again, except at work, in the restroom or when one of us is at a movie the other does not want to see. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where we once were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily. Life will never end when you are in it.”
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7
The poem was inspired by a particular photo of the WT C, and after that by my first visit to the 9/11 Memorial.  On the day of 9/11, I was working about a diagonal mile away, and from our windows, we could see people jumping to their death. Open sky annulled to bordered lines of uptown edges, worldview momentarily forcibly redefined by memories of buildings and sadder days, recollections of pillars of biblical smoke rising A photograph makes me look up, and sit down historically, need to catch a breath, to rest mentally, upon a storied small bridge's steps, that I well recall, a disappeared street stoop. all were rubble then and once upon that day. Wear, tear, and older eyes distill perspective, but the hardy heart is hardly stilled by the recognizable gray upon bon vivant gray reflective surfaces of memories of buildings and sadder days So today, on a reborn street, I rest upon reconstituted speckled curbstone, the city's lowered down ledges, the city's lowered down-town boundaries, constantly redrawn, but nonetheless, always rebuilt from their own regenerated stony compost, and the NY passersby doesn't even notice a man, head in hands, silently weeping, thinking that: We throw away so much we should have kept. We keep so much we should have thrown away. Lose keepsakes, but keep our mysterious sadnesses locked away in compartments that open only to benedictions uttered in ancient tongues. Make your own list, be your own curator, catalogue visions of sophomoric triumphs, museum mile pile those early poetic drafts, be unafraid of memories raw and ungentrified, overlaid, buried underneath postmortem of dust-piles of senior critiques Finally went downtown to see where the blessed water falls into catacomb pits that once were the foundations of buildings that ruled the cityscape, downtown anchors for a modern city that exists only because it was built on million year old granite bedrock Stone monuments are stolid, discrete. Memories are of grayed, frayed edge consistency. Negatives resurrected that survive digitally, all blend synthetically, layer upon layer, essence distilled in a single, black and white photograph that serves to disturb complacency,   awaken stilled pain, reflections suppressed, are restored
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Sep 11, 2013
Sep 11, 2013 at 6:36 PM UTC
9/11 Distilled
The poem was inspired by a particular photo of the WT C, and after that by my first visit to the 9/11 Memorial.  On the day of 9/11, I was working about a diagonal mile away, and from our windows, we could see people jumping to their death. Open sky annulled to bordered lines of uptown edges, worldview momentarily forcibly redefined by memories of buildings and sadder days, recollections of pillars of biblical smoke rising A photograph makes me look up, and sit down historically, need to catch a breath, to rest mentally, upon a storied small bridge's steps, that I well recall, a disappeared street stoop. all were rubble then and once upon that day. Wear, tear, and older eyes distill perspective, but the hardy heart is hardly stilled by the recognizable gray upon bon vivant gray reflective surfaces of memories of buildings and sadder days So today, on a reborn street, I rest upon reconstituted speckled curbstone, the city's lowered down ledges, the city's lowered down-town boundaries, constantly redrawn, but nonetheless, always rebuilt from their own regenerated stony compost, and the NY passersby doesn't even notice a man, head in hands, silently weeping, thinking that: We throw away so much we should have kept. We keep so much we should have thrown away. Lose keepsakes, but keep our mysterious sadnesses locked away in compartments that open only to benedictions uttered in ancient tongues. Make your own list, be your own curator, catalogue visions of sophomoric triumphs, museum mile pile those early poetic drafts, be unafraid of memories raw and ungentrified, overlaid, buried underneath postmortem of dust-piles of senior critiques Finally went downtown to see where the blessed water falls into catacomb pits that once were the foundations of buildings that ruled the cityscape, downtown anchors for a modern city that exists only because it was built on million year old granite bedrock Stone monuments are stolid, discrete. Memories are of grayed, frayed edge consistency. Negatives resurrected that survive digitally, all blend synthetically, layer upon layer, essence distilled in a single, black and white photograph that serves to disturb complacency,   awaken stilled pain, reflections suppressed, are restored
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67
Beware the bottled thoughts of angry young men Secret compartments hide all their skeletons Little girl wants to make her home with him In the middle of the shore, she wonders "Don't know what you asked for." "Don't know what you asked for." All young lovers know why Nightmares blind their mind's eye Your rube is young and handsome So new to your bedroom floor You know **** well where you'll go I've loved so many times and I've drowned them all From their coral graves, they rise up when darkness falls With their bones they'll scratch the window, I hear them call "Don't know what you asked for." "Don't know what you asked for." Stay with me under these waves, tonight Be free for once in your life tonight
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Feb 24, 2015
Feb 24, 2015 at 11:55 PM UTC
Nightmares by the Sea
Did you know that if you leave your car in your driveway, With the keys in the ignition, And someone sits down in the front seat like they own it, and drives away, You are the one who is liable for theft? They can drive that sucker to the coast. They can burn the upholstery with their cigarettes. They can bring their friends into the back seat, and fill the compartments with their refuse, and **** and they can leave it ruined in front of your house, or crushed into the median on the highway, or left in disconnected pieces under an overpass. It will be called, “unauthorized use of a vehicle.” It will be called a “misdemeanor.” But you left the car running. Weren't you kind of asking for it to happen? They said, This, (Gesturing to the skirt which fell to two inches above my kneecap), Is like that. If I walk outside of my house in jeans and a t-shirt, or a long dress with thin straps, Or with my chin tilted out, Or with long eyelashes, Or with full lips, Or with my hips swaying when I walk, It's like I left the car running. It's like I invited them to force their bodies into the front seat. In their minds, or with their hands, or with their lips to anyone who would listen to them. Little girls in leotards become like unlocked car doors; Where men can burn their cigarettes into their skin, Or stick their fingers in In plain view of their parents, And told to let it happen, Quietly. It isn't theft, It's “a medical examination.” What did they expect? It isn't a theft. She was just as guilty of negligence. It isn't really a felony. It's not THAT BAD. (Stop being so dramatic.) It's the unauthorized use of your body, for a time, or one night, or every time you close your eyes for the rest of your life, Sure- But you left the car running.
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May 22, 2018
May 22, 2018 at 1:25 PM UTC
Unlocked car doors
Did you know that if you leave your car in your driveway, With the keys in the ignition, And someone sits down in the front seat like they own it, and drives away, You are the one who is liable for theft? They can drive that sucker to the coast. They can burn the upholstery with their cigarettes. They can bring their friends into the back seat, and fill the compartments with their refuse, and **** and they can leave it ruined in front of your house, or crushed into the median on the highway, or left in disconnected pieces under an overpass. It will be called, “unauthorized use of a vehicle.” It will be called a “misdemeanor.” But you left the car running. Weren't you kind of asking for it to happen? They said, This, (Gesturing to the skirt which fell to two inches above my kneecap), Is like that. If I walk outside of my house in jeans and a t-shirt, or a long dress with thin straps, Or with my chin tilted out, Or with long eyelashes, Or with full lips, Or with my hips swaying when I walk, It's like I left the car running. It's like I invited them to force their bodies into the front seat. In their minds, or with their hands, or with their lips to anyone who would listen to them. Little girls in leotards become like unlocked car doors; Where men can burn their cigarettes into their skin, Or stick their fingers in In plain view of their parents, And told to let it happen, Quietly. It isn't theft, It's “a medical examination.” What did they expect? It isn't a theft. She was just as guilty of negligence. It isn't really a felony. It's not THAT BAD. (Stop being so dramatic.) It's the unauthorized use of your body, for a time, or one night, or every time you close your eyes for the rest of your life, Sure- But you left the car running.
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40
I've known heights, aimed like a bullet to the top of the head. Forbidden songs, jagging placid landscapes. Waterblood waterbone -- my body cries out to me. How long the abuse, how long! In the barreled pit of my sober life up from common sense--snapping into it, my soul came alive. Alive I say! By grace I breached. Free in the wind! Kingdoms of water, alive kingdoms -- hear now the words of my tears. Mea Culpa! I slam on the brakes, tear off the roofs of steel compartments. I see sky and feel in daylight every hidden star. I declare -- the emperor of death has no clothing. I scatter forgiveness across all the fattened streets. Oceans of me are singing. A spinning angels' symphony. Over the graves of ancestors,  I vow: Water, I shall love you. I shall speak up, shall protect you. I shall fight for you and die if I must. Ten times ten give my very life -- that you live.
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Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 12:29 AM UTC
Waterbone
We hardly fit with our jagged edges and our heavy breathing, our holes don't even coincide. Our symmetry is imperfect, as imperfection can be. We can't call it home. We're too edgy to ever do so. It doesn't even come close to that feeling of comfort and love. We're not in love, nor are we friends by any means. Hardly acquaintances. We wouldn't lift a finger a finger to help the other No, this isn't home, love or friendship. Our weapons are still on us. The poison's hidden in the secret compartments of the rings we gifted each other. We never believed in anything but practicality. I specially sharpened the blades I brought with me. I know he loaded some 'special' bullets in his gun. We deal like this, like rival gang leaders It's the only thing that has remained the same through all these years, frighteningly comforting in it's stagnancy. It doesn't even come close to companionship. It's definition lies somewhere between hatred, addiction and need. Quiet intimacy will prevail between us and anyone who walks in, feels like they're intruding on something a bit more private and clandestine. Though no one notices, our spines don't relax even once.
0
Aug 6, 2012
Aug 6, 2012 at 7:48 AM UTC
Intimacy, of all things
A broken down Chevy- Doesn’t that sound like a country song? My broken down Chevy Is where my life started and I began to belong. That little pickup stayed true to its name. It could pick up and take me anywhere, Or we could park in a field and I could write, To me it was all the same. Being behind its leather wheel Was a freedom I’ll forever cherish. Eighteen with nowhere to be Except driving my Chevy, every joy I could feel. When I lost my job I gained an eviction. But I still had my Chevy And I had its bed to sleep in. There was no work in my small town. I knew I had to leave, Just my Chevy and me. We traveled for days to the biggest city we found. By the time we arrived My Chevy had begun to sputter, It shook, it moaned, it stopped. And there on the highway, my Chevy died. I knew this day would come- My Chevy was a ’57. But it carried me hundreds of miles To the city in which my new life had begun. A broken down Chevy- Doesn’t that sound like a country song? My broken down Chevy Is where my life started and I began to belong. I left it there on the highway. With no job and only pocket change I couldn’t keep my beloved Chevy By towing it anyway. Now I’m twenty-five And the head of a publishing company. I married an artist who always supported me. Today he waited at home with a surprise. My broken down Chevy, Fully restored and brought back to life, Was in the driveway With a note taped to the window with the key. “I believe this is yours And may I say she’s beautiful! I found your Chevy on the side of the highway. Gosh I think it’s been six or seven years!” “My father was always handy with cars And he taught me his trade. I towed your Chevy and meant to sell it Once I had fixed it up to shine like stars.” “As I was cleaning the compartments out I found your old journal Full of letters you wrote to yourself And bible verses, all about perseverance, no doubt.” “Your story inspired me. It honestly rocked me to my core. I had lost all hope in myself and the world. I was fighting cancer, you see.” “I read your journal every day, every page. And the more I read, the more I believed In those verses you treasured so. I continued restoring your truck, and last year I got saved.” “My cancer was gone, seemingly overnight. The doctors couldn’t believe it! And honestly Neither could I!” “I thank God every day For the story He gave you, And I thank Him Because you broke down on that highway.” “Now I’m returning this Chevy to you. She shines like a diamond and runs like a river. I hope you can forgive me but I am keeping your journal- My granddaughter is fighting cancer now too.” “Please pray for her and I’ll keep you in my prayers always. Thank you for being the person you are. Goodbye and thank you again, my friend. Like your broken down Chevy, We’ve been made new; we’re eternally saved!”
0
Jul 14, 2016
Jul 14, 2016 at 11:47 AM UTC
A Broken Down Chevy
A broken down Chevy- Doesn’t that sound like a country song? My broken down Chevy Is where my life started and I began to belong. That little pickup stayed true to its name. It could pick up and take me anywhere, Or we could park in a field and I could write, To me it was all the same. Being behind its leather wheel Was a freedom I’ll forever cherish. Eighteen with nowhere to be Except driving my Chevy, every joy I could feel. When I lost my job I gained an eviction. But I still had my Chevy And I had its bed to sleep in. There was no work in my small town. I knew I had to leave, Just my Chevy and me. We traveled for days to the biggest city we found. By the time we arrived My Chevy had begun to sputter, It shook, it moaned, it stopped. And there on the highway, my Chevy died. I knew this day would come- My Chevy was a ’57. But it carried me hundreds of miles To the city in which my new life had begun. A broken down Chevy- Doesn’t that sound like a country song? My broken down Chevy Is where my life started and I began to belong. I left it there on the highway. With no job and only pocket change I couldn’t keep my beloved Chevy By towing it anyway. Now I’m twenty-five And the head of a publishing company. I married an artist who always supported me. Today he waited at home with a surprise. My broken down Chevy, Fully restored and brought back to life, Was in the driveway With a note taped to the window with the key. “I believe this is yours And may I say she’s beautiful! I found your Chevy on the side of the highway. Gosh I think it’s been six or seven years!” “My father was always handy with cars And he taught me his trade. I towed your Chevy and meant to sell it Once I had fixed it up to shine like stars.” “As I was cleaning the compartments out I found your old journal Full of letters you wrote to yourself And bible verses, all about perseverance, no doubt.” “Your story inspired me. It honestly rocked me to my core. I had lost all hope in myself and the world. I was fighting cancer, you see.” “I read your journal every day, every page. And the more I read, the more I believed In those verses you treasured so. I continued restoring your truck, and last year I got saved.” “My cancer was gone, seemingly overnight. The doctors couldn’t believe it! And honestly Neither could I!” “I thank God every day For the story He gave you, And I thank Him Because you broke down on that highway.” “Now I’m returning this Chevy to you. She shines like a diamond and runs like a river. I hope you can forgive me but I am keeping your journal- My granddaughter is fighting cancer now too.” “Please pray for her and I’ll keep you in my prayers always. Thank you for being the person you are. Goodbye and thank you again, my friend. Like your broken down Chevy, We’ve been made new; we’re eternally saved!”
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81
Take me in your arms, never let me go, I can't wait to spend countless nights with you, wherever we go. I want to roll over to your face in the morning, have cute little bad breath kisses, then we can go make pancakes while the orange juice fizzes. We can walk to the beach, just a mile from your apartment, we can lay on the sand and build castles with little compartments. You can finally teach me to surf, a dream of mine, until I keep falling and we laugh the rest of the time. We'll swim to shore with enough time to get ready for dinner, as we walk under the purple-pink skies the space between us gets thinner. Until your arm's around mine, you lean in for a sunset kiss. I kiss right back, our fingers interlocked, a moment of pure bliss.
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Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 12:20 PM UTC
Sunset Kisses
**Baggage within       trappings of illusions, love packed away   in neat little compartments gathering cobwebs at      makeshift improvisations, dusting intermittently       if by chance a light            should shine, never wholly untangling     the snare mid a labyrinth of       transparent entrapment,   as violin strings continue       to unlatch the same old key**
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Aug 4, 2015
Aug 4, 2015 at 8:22 AM UTC
Labyrinths of Baggage
Periodically I hide myself from the world Chastising them Punishing them with my absence My opinions are like bricks before the throwing With little compromise, I roll my eyes Hating them The ones oblivious Diesel burners, peaceniks, consumers Sitting contradictions Simmering catastrophes, an embodiment of what they’re making me Powerless, with no resort My impression on this society will be forever minimal And I bite my tongue with every syllable I type Holding judgment, holding on To the world I was promised The world I was conditioned for A world with angels, untouched by violence, corruption or greed A world we defiled, without animals A world achieved Where grass is preserved in museums In compartments behind glass I see my part in the reflection, I hate myself more My impression of this society will be forever minimal
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Jul 1, 2010
Jul 1, 2010 at 12:14 AM UTC
Grass
heart turned as heavy as metal sinking down, it's an uncanny battle stomach twisting, can you feel it contort? someone once said that life's a contest of sorts I've created stories patented for myself yet they still belong to somebody else I've found love in nooks and crannies only for it to be ripped away potently with confidence, I'll make my move only to be checkmated with crude I'll pack my belongings in a metal crater my head's been submerged underwater chlorine stains the tips of my hair I close my eyes and she's not even there the crowd thinks that they might know her scream the chorus, play the player when will you see that the glass's been shattered? she's viewing herself through minuscule scatters do you not see that her head's a mess? she's losing the strive, won't be the best history is repeating can you feel the wind? cold as ice while she's paper-thin they drag me out of the pool unwillingly, I go the men are worried the women don't show the poison burns like fuel and fire life's a train, it's advancing forward I imagine myself walking through compartments everyone's now in a different department
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Aug 16, 2024
Aug 16, 2024 at 1:43 PM UTC
Chlorine
I’ve got Nike shoe-boxes filled with newspaper confetti basketball highlights, a Lucky Charms cereal prize, a hair clip from the Homecoming dance, picture after picture of little month-long memories. I’ve got a dozen temporary candy box boyfriends who faded just as quickly as they sparked. I’ll reopen them occasionally, remind myself why my middle school mind found it so important to save stale Valentine’s Day lollipops and balance that with the tender, childish idea that baby love is the realest love and maybe one day all those text message breakups would come back to me. I sort through each dent my heart has suffered that I stowed away in compartments, but you, who’ve seen me through the longest, have no place under my bed. I’ve got nothing visible to hold of you because truth be told you’re only my friend if the lights are out and the door is shut. I have no pop song sweatshirt that still smells like you, no cliché letters I’ve soaked with tears, no movie tickets, no dinner matches or menus or pictures that I could cut if I hated you enough. I’d have to collect your sweat in a vile and brew it into a perfume just so the smell could give me something disgusting enough to feel when I remember you. If only I could capture my nightmares, remake the images, mold your body out of actual clay and light you up without having to kiss your pelvis. We’ve made a mess of this. You’re just a flame I forgot to blow out. You're just a name I left hanging on my mouth.
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Jan 9, 2015
Jan 9, 2015 at 12:12 AM UTC
Candy Box Boyfriends (And You I Guess)
I’ve got Nike shoe-boxes filled with newspaper confetti basketball highlights, a Lucky Charms cereal prize, a hair clip from the Homecoming dance, picture after picture of little month-long memories. I’ve got a dozen temporary candy box boyfriends who faded just as quickly as they sparked. I’ll reopen them occasionally, remind myself why my middle school mind found it so important to save stale Valentine’s Day lollipops and balance that with the tender, childish idea that baby love is the realest love and maybe one day all those text message breakups would come back to me. I sort through each dent my heart has suffered that I stowed away in compartments, but you, who’ve seen me through the longest, have no place under my bed. I’ve got nothing visible to hold of you because truth be told you’re only my friend if the lights are out and the door is shut. I have no pop song sweatshirt that still smells like you, no cliché letters I’ve soaked with tears, no movie tickets, no dinner matches or menus or pictures that I could cut if I hated you enough. I’d have to collect your sweat in a vile and brew it into a perfume just so the smell could give me something disgusting enough to feel when I remember you. If only I could capture my nightmares, remake the images, mold your body out of actual clay and light you up without having to kiss your pelvis. We’ve made a mess of this. You’re just a flame I forgot to blow out. You're just a name I left hanging on my mouth.
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31
I have to make him a turkey sandwich, crusts cut off, mayo on the left piece of bread, in two triangle halves every single night before he goes to sleep on the right side of the bed with two pillows, fluffed twice each, slippers tucked neatly underneath the bed skirt. And every night I wonder what would happen if I forgot the pickle on the side, like the one time we ran out of cheese and my car had a flat tire and the supermarket was so far, but boy did he give it to me. I’ve never seen someone count to one-hundred so fast with their finger taps before the table flipped. Never have I seen someone clean up glass so slowly, each piece thrown in the trash individually just like my pieces that have been carved away year after year, loaf after loaf, as my eyes droop backwards and rest on his haircut that I give every six weeks on a Wednesday. Sometimes, I try to kiss his neck when I let the scissors slip, but he always reminds me that this slot is “haircut time” and there’s no necessity in kissing anyway. And I’ve tried to respect his attic closet compartments with the key that had gone missing when he was fifteen, and I’ve tried to wish on misshapen pieces of cereal in my bowl because I’m that desperate for a miracle. Do you know? Do you know how hard it is to lie next to someone who you know doesn’t dream of you, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he can’t. He can’t do so many things and sometimes I’ll lay out a green tie on a workday instead of blue just to watch him blow up because at least that’s a feeling. At least that’s not white walls and another **** turkey sandwich. And I know that’s sinful, and I also know that I fold my hands wrong when I pray, but I’ve tried to shape him for years and all I’ve gotten is a cast with nothing to fill the mold. And I know my suitcase has been packed for weeks, but. . . Dear God, you know I’ll never leave. I save my laundry for Saturdays, don’t tell him why I’m crying myself back to sleep, and check the fridge one last time for the right deli meat.
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Feb 4, 2015
Feb 4, 2015 at 4:14 PM UTC
Praying On Another Turkey Sandwich
I have to make him a turkey sandwich, crusts cut off, mayo on the left piece of bread, in two triangle halves every single night before he goes to sleep on the right side of the bed with two pillows, fluffed twice each, slippers tucked neatly underneath the bed skirt. And every night I wonder what would happen if I forgot the pickle on the side, like the one time we ran out of cheese and my car had a flat tire and the supermarket was so far, but boy did he give it to me. I’ve never seen someone count to one-hundred so fast with their finger taps before the table flipped. Never have I seen someone clean up glass so slowly, each piece thrown in the trash individually just like my pieces that have been carved away year after year, loaf after loaf, as my eyes droop backwards and rest on his haircut that I give every six weeks on a Wednesday. Sometimes, I try to kiss his neck when I let the scissors slip, but he always reminds me that this slot is “haircut time” and there’s no necessity in kissing anyway. And I’ve tried to respect his attic closet compartments with the key that had gone missing when he was fifteen, and I’ve tried to wish on misshapen pieces of cereal in my bowl because I’m that desperate for a miracle. Do you know? Do you know how hard it is to lie next to someone who you know doesn’t dream of you, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he can’t. He can’t do so many things and sometimes I’ll lay out a green tie on a workday instead of blue just to watch him blow up because at least that’s a feeling. At least that’s not white walls and another **** turkey sandwich. And I know that’s sinful, and I also know that I fold my hands wrong when I pray, but I’ve tried to shape him for years and all I’ve gotten is a cast with nothing to fill the mold. And I know my suitcase has been packed for weeks, but. . . Dear God, you know I’ll never leave. I save my laundry for Saturdays, don’t tell him why I’m crying myself back to sleep, and check the fridge one last time for the right deli meat.
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44
The way the clock ticks Smooth away Spirits dry   Slightly tender ears Become another breath A breath a sigh a mess to deal with A test of zeal & a box of papers   strewn left & right   torn & strung about to conceal   the floor the door the walls & the ceiling naked peach & sweating standing still like a post, but turning around slowly internally putting on graces & smiling, sniffing the glass before frowning & commenting on the values of waiting, or diving right into the chasm of debt,     he looks handsome & brutish   like a man best used for feeding   himself, feeding someone else   mere feed     he was food   a cow in a pasture devouring to continue the feeding for some dollars each day increasing ‘no worries mate’ a gesture to continue moving there’s less to do ensuing deadlines wave beside the days arrive sequentially, enduring through them dutifully     like you must red stars of sparks string off his limbs & burn holes in the papers brown cigarette burns widen & envelop the papers that are small, the bigger ones catch alight & fall to the floor & it spreads to the door the walls & the ceiling now naked & blue & burning the red & yellow flame rises high a candle stands spinning screaming & fighting & running from foe who will eat him, or **** him he sleeps shivering under stars burning brighter than his own & the papers are gone   so few left to feed the fire     he collapses in a heap of soot & ash he lies naked & black & steaming panting & huffing like a kid on a balloon on hands & knees observes the wreck & sighs to clean the mess before he becomes accustomed or bored   he swings a broom around   and a dust pan handily collects the soot & the wreck doesn’t seem so bad it still stands & he stays there in a darken pit, a hole of charred plaster & carpet,   it seems OK so he stays there all along the street the candles are snuffed out they still stand so they stay there in a row toe to toe all together in compartments of a box of matches
0
Jan 19, 2013
Jan 19, 2013 at 11:56 AM UTC
A box of Matches
The way the clock ticks Smooth away Spirits dry   Slightly tender ears Become another breath A breath a sigh a mess to deal with A test of zeal & a box of papers   strewn left & right   torn & strung about to conceal   the floor the door the walls & the ceiling naked peach & sweating standing still like a post, but turning around slowly internally putting on graces & smiling, sniffing the glass before frowning & commenting on the values of waiting, or diving right into the chasm of debt,     he looks handsome & brutish   like a man best used for feeding   himself, feeding someone else   mere feed     he was food   a cow in a pasture devouring to continue the feeding for some dollars each day increasing ‘no worries mate’ a gesture to continue moving there’s less to do ensuing deadlines wave beside the days arrive sequentially, enduring through them dutifully     like you must red stars of sparks string off his limbs & burn holes in the papers brown cigarette burns widen & envelop the papers that are small, the bigger ones catch alight & fall to the floor & it spreads to the door the walls & the ceiling now naked & blue & burning the red & yellow flame rises high a candle stands spinning screaming & fighting & running from foe who will eat him, or **** him he sleeps shivering under stars burning brighter than his own & the papers are gone   so few left to feed the fire     he collapses in a heap of soot & ash he lies naked & black & steaming panting & huffing like a kid on a balloon on hands & knees observes the wreck & sighs to clean the mess before he becomes accustomed or bored   he swings a broom around   and a dust pan handily collects the soot & the wreck doesn’t seem so bad it still stands & he stays there in a darken pit, a hole of charred plaster & carpet,   it seems OK so he stays there all along the street the candles are snuffed out they still stand so they stay there in a row toe to toe all together in compartments of a box of matches
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78
I found myself rooting for the tiny ant The spider was trying to trap in its webbed snare, No thoughts did I spare before swiping a finger, and helping it make a dramatic escape As I looked at the spider, left food-less, Rearrange itself in its meticulous net, I wondered at the strangeness of this Little world of ours, and also its pointlessness We make it seem so rosy and pretty, Embellish it with garlands of emotions, But underneath lies the truth of its existence, Made up of cruelty, chaos and commotion The Designer painted it beautifully, But gave it finer embroideries of pain, He threw in an entire cosmos together, And arranged it into a food chain Compartments and more compartments, Of colour and country and gender galore, Hustle and bustle to stay put in a labile balance, That is forever tipped at the cusp of war We fool ourselves with the sham that our lives Depend on friendships and love and such stunts, When what we are, if we think about it, Is a part, of one gigantic hunt A hunt for alimentation, And monetary satisfaction, And physical satiation, Does being conditional deserve glorification? I wonder if I've turned into a permanent cynic, It may very well be just a phase, Though the spider would be cursing me for sure, Not too romantic it is, sabotaging a prey!
0
Nov 1, 2016
Nov 1, 2016 at 4:53 PM UTC
An Objective Poem
Why dwell on the comfort Of dusting off the adversity That profane the corners Of our compartments When we can Call upon courage And write for those Without the strength to crawl out Of the hollow caves They live in?                You                   And                     I Are blessed with the curse of Seeing beyond the masquerades Of others That it becomes haunting not To tap into their souls And wander in the Caves of their minds To find the reason behind The warped interior, The vague, and sometimes Vivid Answers to            Why They're sinking in Self imposed darkness,                   They feel they're slaves To and in liberation,          They feel they can't be forgiven For the sins they Unintentionally created,        They feel so empty and hollow And dead within that there's Nothing, but dead spaces Between heart beats,             They're engulfed in Flames that they're turning Everything they caress to ash With every bit of                  Taste,                  Touch,                  Smell                  Lulling us into euphorias Where fragments of              Sound,                Images,                  Fragrances,                   Thoughts, Compound to a jungle of words That we lose ourselves in, Perhaps then, We become a tad bit closer To finding Ourselves, Perhaps.
0
Mar 20, 2014
Mar 20, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC
No Appropriate Title
Why dwell on the comfort Of dusting off the adversity That profane the corners Of our compartments When we can Call upon courage And write for those Without the strength to crawl out Of the hollow caves They live in?                You                   And                     I Are blessed with the curse of Seeing beyond the masquerades Of others That it becomes haunting not To tap into their souls And wander in the Caves of their minds To find the reason behind The warped interior, The vague, and sometimes Vivid Answers to            Why They're sinking in Self imposed darkness,                   They feel they're slaves To and in liberation,          They feel they can't be forgiven For the sins they Unintentionally created,        They feel so empty and hollow And dead within that there's Nothing, but dead spaces Between heart beats,             They're engulfed in Flames that they're turning Everything they caress to ash With every bit of                  Taste,                  Touch,                  Smell                  Lulling us into euphorias Where fragments of              Sound,                Images,                  Fragrances,                   Thoughts, Compound to a jungle of words That we lose ourselves in, Perhaps then, We become a tad bit closer To finding Ourselves, Perhaps.
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56
Useless time begging Back to the present Infinite electric waves Bypassing hidden compartments Surging together Heat waves demonstrating Truth at our very finest Out bursting cautiously Into a super nova Colors exploding throughout Our imitations Reminding the reversal Of times sighing… Please forgive me.
0
Dec 1, 2010
Dec 1, 2010 at 5:34 PM UTC
Font 12
I fear too much of life Has been spent living in our Mismatched silverware drawer. While knives are always fine, Never noticing much What they might cut Because they haven't sharp eyes; So accustomed to close quarters, They just lay there, as Blind soldiers in wait of orders. But I'm wary when they Come out to speak, Seeking blood, too often it seems. Nicer when it's just Butter must be spread To warm toast instead. Forks carry their own dangers. In time, tines disentangled From secret stainless dustups That go on in the tray While attention's drawn away Can be wielded like daggers, Impaling olives - or fingers - That happen to fall in the way. So painful, though rarely fatal For those with shots up to date. It's the others need worrying over; Sad spoons that never nestle As they did when they were new. Uncomfortable now with one another, Like wishes kissing cold lips, Smooth hips never swaying to music As they must have done once before, Arranged in deranged patterns In plastic compartments. I'd rather take them all out, Line them along the kitchen floor For lessons in ballet or the samba. I might learn to dance, again, too. Sometimes, I wish we could eat with The still-perfect gold set We save for those who don't live here; Drink fine wine every day from those Dusty gilded glasses Stocked in the corner cabinet. It might feel more real then, If they eventually get here... We'd be prince and princess Everyday, then, wouldn't we?
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May 1, 2010
May 1, 2010 at 5:21 PM UTC
Organizing Silverware
*did you buy all of this on credit and can you do without going to ceremonies for awhile look what higher learning and empty rituals have given you a distrust for humanity and all that's truly valuable are you a nihilist or a solipsist what a life to be so twisted like an elliptical esophagus so strange the way we spell things what would we do without spellcheck or a dictionary these days is a thesaurus a dinosaur or a literary device the swelling went down right in time for your dialectical revival while didactic strange attractors are strangely repellent selective attackers leave your marriages despondent disparaged orthodontists leave fluids on your face still you wipe your chin with sandpaper and leave greasy finger stains in their place fluoride is a bargain complete with its own argument and quite often batteries are not included but that doesn’t mean you’ll never use them for what's a *** toy to do if its lacking its adjacent latex compartments or if you're really just not in the mood i guess this human body will have to do grooving to the music is all about our choosing to becoming outdated or faded like a tax evader these equations are meaningless when you are fermented with libations if you drink more amber liquid would you be negated relevant for a moment and then just as quickly discarded as a piece of paper the receipts we diligently saved are just as well used to light your fireplaces*
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Nov 28, 2017
Nov 28, 2017 at 12:49 PM UTC
fermented solipsists
We endeavor to construct boxes and file folders This life being ****** complex And messy to boot, so we approximate sanity By filling compartments and writing thumbnail biographies, And even though she packed the costume admirably (Already forty, mind you, but nowhere near gone to fat) Julie Newmar had already filled both outfit and niche (And never mind Halle Berry’s turn, Different raiment for a different time, after all, And one suspects the next iteration of said slinky supervillainess Will wear nothing more than feline-shaped ****** rings), Not to mention she’d already entered our collective consciousness With a frothy Noel novelty (unsubstantial, inconsequential In and of its ownself, perhaps, but then one considers The version foisted off on the populace by that woman Who appropriated the moniker of the Blessed ****** All phoned-in faux Betty Boop, and one reconsiders) So this was who she was, the book closed and sealed (English only, never mind the other three tongues she spoke Plus three more she proficiently purred in.) They say when she died, she did not go gently, as it were, But screamed and yowled for all she was still worth, And maybe it was the cancer, certainly enough to do the job itself, But perhaps it was the notion That her era of innuendo and intimation was all done, That she was transitioning to the static, to becoming a legacy, A permanence that was stalking her, Murderous, insatiable, inexorable.
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Sep 14, 2018
Sep 14, 2018 at 10:39 AM UTC
last notes for eartha kitt
Chaos is brewed and entwined in my psyche For when I restrain it,I fail to be free For when you suffocates it, I die solely I offered my compartments, the evil, the good I offered my solace,goodness and madness All uncensored on the bitter sweet console But it tainted your soul, made you ooze blood Thanks for your extended handshake of peace I gently received it as it sailed through my ails
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Apr 27, 2016
Apr 27, 2016 at 3:19 PM UTC
Handshake Of Peace Erupted [HOPE]
My heart yearns for what once was    my mind fighting to hold the line in a quiet battle    Time, relentlessly persistent in its attempts to erase    dragging my life forward into fading memory Moments attenuating, absorbed by the past    distorted in all but the essential    But their essence is distilled in my soul    dormant in an archived strength and purity Occasional mindbursts of beauty are released    refusing to be contained or denied A certain scent in the air, a certain quality of light    a lyric of song, a touch of breeze...all catalysts Spontaneously transported into a joyful state    I'm consumed by a déjà vu of carefree ambiance Bejeweled compartments spill their contents    washing over my mind in a composite nostalgia Familiar waves of concentrated being saturate    my existence for a compelling glimpse of the idyllic In those fleeting reveries of peaceful contentedness    I feel completely at home within myself
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Dec 26, 2013
Dec 26, 2013 at 3:54 PM UTC
At Home
I should get up and write. Write about our present, And how unlikely is our future. Write about the scars on her left wrist Which you saw only because her bracelet slipped. Write about how she never gave up, And how you never gave up on asking; Maybe I should get up and write About the shackles in our stomachs, The chains on their chairs, The change that is so hard to anticipate When your fainting eyes Read news of homicide every night; When your voice fades away in reason, And not in volume; You often find yourself talking loudly Only to realize that the echoes of your sound Is amplified by the emptiness of what you’re saying So why speak? So why speak, when you can’t get her to listen, When her eyes shift between your glances To look for someone she actually wants to hang around; When her fingers do not point at your words, But at her favorite photos Which she goes over 10 million times a day. So why speak? When your vocal chords Are replaced with rocks and stones, So you throw your messages away Hoping you get them straight to the heads So why speak? When words rattle cages But tyrants They live in mansions. But we’re still alive aren’t we? Our blood runs Through the wired compartments of our brains, Like rivers rushing with ideas, And I fell for the oceans in her eyes. Our heart still beats Quicker at winter than it does at spring, And I guess it gets chilly every time we meet. Our bodies still believe in music, We could still challenge the world By spiraling against it, By jumping upward Downing motions of the rain, By looking at the horizons And still believe There’s a lot more for us to see.
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Nov 17, 2014
Nov 17, 2014 at 7:53 PM UTC
She Urged Me to Write Something So I Wrote This:
I should get up and write. Write about our present, And how unlikely is our future. Write about the scars on her left wrist Which you saw only because her bracelet slipped. Write about how she never gave up, And how you never gave up on asking; Maybe I should get up and write About the shackles in our stomachs, The chains on their chairs, The change that is so hard to anticipate When your fainting eyes Read news of homicide every night; When your voice fades away in reason, And not in volume; You often find yourself talking loudly Only to realize that the echoes of your sound Is amplified by the emptiness of what you’re saying So why speak? So why speak, when you can’t get her to listen, When her eyes shift between your glances To look for someone she actually wants to hang around; When her fingers do not point at your words, But at her favorite photos Which she goes over 10 million times a day. So why speak? When your vocal chords Are replaced with rocks and stones, So you throw your messages away Hoping you get them straight to the heads So why speak? When words rattle cages But tyrants They live in mansions. But we’re still alive aren’t we? Our blood runs Through the wired compartments of our brains, Like rivers rushing with ideas, And I fell for the oceans in her eyes. Our heart still beats Quicker at winter than it does at spring, And I guess it gets chilly every time we meet. Our bodies still believe in music, We could still challenge the world By spiraling against it, By jumping upward Downing motions of the rain, By looking at the horizons And still believe There’s a lot more for us to see.
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50
If you could watch a plane crash in slow motion You’d see a hundred lives slip away Into the jet stream. From row 17, seat B, you’d see A freckled child lose their Legos, Parents, Youth. And the man in row 22 would take one long, last Look at his wife And think only of love, love, love. The overhead compartments will open And spill out the wares, The jackets that kept them warm And the computers that once lit With their life’s work And thus, the world seems to shatter. Do they cry? Do they have time? Do they pray? Do they lose faith in God? Do some gain it? No one but the dead know the true tragedy. As the tray tables dislodge And the sky falls
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Apr 22, 2011
Apr 22, 2011 at 9:44 AM UTC
And the Sky Falls