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Marisa Hope Jun 2020
December 28, 2012...I thought my life was over. I felt pain, sadness, and anger. Tears running down my face. It was the day you told me that you "didn't have time for friends anymore" and ended our friendship. I was about to enter the second half of my senior year, I had just been accepted to college, I was getting ready for major surgery. All things I wanted you to be there for, but you left.

Since December 28, 2012 I always felt a piece of my heart would be stuck with you, a part I would never get back. So many firsts I wanted to share with you, but I knew you would never come back. There was a darkness, a hole in my heart, a hole in my soul. I tried to reach out once I started college, but the conversations were short and meaningless. You assured me it was nothing I did, but I knew and felt deep down that it was.

We had slowly started talking again late 2019, very brief, nothing too much. But you asked to meet up if I was ever back in Baltimore. We set a date when I booked my flights to see my friends.

November 23, 2019...I hadn't seen you in 7 years. You had just gotten engaged. I didn't know what to expect when I walked into the breakfast spot. But it was instant, wonderful conversation. We didn't talk about the past, the things that tore us apart, but instead talked about what we wanted to catch up on and the milestones we have each achieved. In that moment, I finally felt the hole in my heart was sealed. Sealed with closure and with connection. Sealed with friendship and a newfound acquaintance with someone who never really left.
Marisa Hope Jun 2020
how can you know if you missed a perfect opportunity, the perfect person, the one you can’t let go of
how can you know if they were right when you spent such little time with them
how can you piece together not being able to have said goodbye when the feelings were there, real and raw
how can you feel, feel so much emotion towards them when you were never even together
how can you heal when there’s no closure
how can you move on when there’s so much space between us and the feelings are still there
how can you miss someone you’ve never truly experienced
Marisa Hope Jul 2018
Comfort: something I had never felt with anyone I had been sexually involved with until you
Feelings: something I never had, even with my ex, until I kissed you
I came to you as a rebound, not thinking much
We both knew I only had a month before I was moving
But the last kiss we had was one I can’t forget
That was the kiss that I felt, felt something and everything all at once
Before you *** felt forced and with people that never made sure I was okay...
You changed that
Before, during, and after
You'd ask me if I was okay, constantly making sure I was comfortable
You may be one of the biggest ******* I’ve ever met, but I just want to be able to call you my *******
Then I moved and I dreamt about you every night, new friends said, "tell him, he deserves to know, and you never know what he feels"
So I told you I had feelings
To which you validated and then told me you haven’t felt for someone in 7 years
Yet, I was the first one you’ve had sober *** with in almost 5 months
Now we snap, we even have a streak
But it’s nothing compared to being in your arms and the feeling of your lips on mine
All signs lead to you having some sort of feelings, so do you?
Marisa Hope Sep 2017
Don’t superlike me, you’re not getting my attention, you’re just making me mad.
You didn’t fight for me back this time, you accepted that I needed space and you’ve been kind enough to give it to me, but I don’t think you realize what you’ve done.
I tried to trust you again, I gave you a second chance, which I swore to myself I was done doing.
Then when I found myself in your bed crying because you got mad at me because I didn’t want to have ***, I knew I needed to leave.
Why? Because my body is my right. If I don’t want to have *** you can’t get mad and defensive, especially what happened after the last time.
You thanked me for trusting you again after you did what you did, but I don’t think you realize what you did can be considered as assault.
You blatantly ignored everything we had talked about regarding anxieties. So you most definitely CANNOT have “mental health advocate” in your tinder bio IF YOU DISREGARD ANYONE ELSES BUT YOURSELF.
I know you’re going through your own stuff too, but that doesn’t make me a toy you can play with when you want.
If you want to talk, you know how to reach me, and I’ll listen.
But superliking me isn’t the way to do it.
Tinder is stupid
Marisa Hope Jul 2017
There's something about 2am
It's not quite midnight, but it's not too far into the day just yet
There's something about 2am that makes my brain run wild
Something that makes me unable to get you off my mind
There's something about it that keeps me up longer than I want to be because I can't stop thinking of where I went wrong
What I did to spiral out of control
Unable to retract my tears
There's something about 2am that makes every song seem more sad than it is
That makes every song feel relatable
That this really was a love gone wrong
I should've never gone back to you
I knew all along I'd just get hurt again
But there's something about 2am that makes me feel everything
Feel everything at once
I'm pretty sure this is my second poem relating to 2am
Marisa Hope Oct 2016
You wrecked me, you made me a mess.
I can't believe its been over two years since we met.
And over a year since we stopped talking.
I ended it, not you.
Well, I guess it was kind of mutual.
But nonetheless, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

You told me I was special, that you wanted to be with me.
Played me with your words, tortured me with your lies.
What else should I have expected?
We did meet on Tinder, but that means nothing, does it?
But here we are, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

I was swiping left and right a few months ago and you popped up again.
New picture, still attractive, still the same **** I knew before.
I immediately swiped left, but did you swipe right?
I searched you again on Facebook, to see how you're doing.
It just reminded me, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

I'm glad we never ******, I'm glad it was just fooling around.
Obviously I wasn't anything you actually wanted.
Maybe you just wanted someone to **** with their emotions.
If that's so, you're **** good at it.
But what else is new, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

Go ahead, treat the other girls like they're worthless.
Taunt them with your lies.
Tell them you want to be with them the same way you wanted to be with me.
So here I am at 11:37 thinking about you because;
You wrecked me, you made me a mess.
Marisa Hope Aug 2016
Looking back at it all, you were never really a friend.
Reading through all our messages - they were all one sided.
"I don't have time for friends" what a ******* way to end a friendship.
That's when we met. I thought you were going to be the perfect friend, the one I could and did tell everyone about. We would Skype everyday, text throughout class, and all in all, you were always there to begin with.
When I met you in real life for the first time on my sweet sixteen, I knew this friendship was going to last forever.
It didn't.
I get it, I was childish, but you even more so for ending our friendship through a text message.
So ******* for all the promises you never kept, the secrets I shared with you, and the friendship you gave me that clearly meant nothing to you.
I don't know what you're doing with your life, but I hope you're happy. I just can't help it, you deserve to be happy.
But what you don't
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