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Marisa Hope Jul 2018
Comfort: something I had never felt with anyone I had been sexually involved with until you
Feelings: something I never had, even with my ex, until I kissed you
I came to you as a rebound, not thinking much
We both knew I only had a month before I was moving
But the last kiss we had was one I can’t forget
That was the kiss that I felt, felt something and everything all at once
Before you *** felt forced and with people that never made sure I was okay...
You changed that
Before, during, and after
You'd ask me if I was okay, constantly making sure I was comfortable
You may be one of the biggest ******* I’ve ever met, but I just want to be able to call you my *******
Then I moved and I dreamt about you every night, new friends said, "tell him, he deserves to know, and you never know what he feels"
So I told you I had feelings
To which you validated and then told me you haven’t felt for someone in 7 years
Yet, I was the first one you’ve had sober *** with in almost 5 months
Now we snap, we even have a streak
But it’s nothing compared to being in your arms and the feeling of your lips on mine
All signs lead to you having some sort of feelings, so do you?
Marisa Hope Sep 2017
Don’t superlike me, you’re not getting my attention, you’re just making me mad.
You didn’t fight for me back this time, you accepted that I needed space and you’ve been kind enough to give it to me, but I don’t think you realize what you’ve done.
I tried to trust you again, I gave you a second chance, which I swore to myself I was done doing.
Then when I found myself in your bed crying because you got mad at me because I didn’t want to have ***, I knew I needed to leave.
Why? Because my body is my right. If I don’t want to have *** you can’t get mad and defensive, especially what happened after the last time.
You thanked me for trusting you again after you did what you did, but I don’t think you realize what you did can be considered as assault.
You blatantly ignored everything we had talked about regarding anxieties. So you most definitely CANNOT have “mental health advocate” in your tinder bio IF YOU DISREGARD ANYONE ELSES BUT YOURSELF.
I know you’re going through your own stuff too, but that doesn’t make me a toy you can play with when you want.
If you want to talk, you know how to reach me, and I’ll listen.
But superliking me isn’t the way to do it.
Tinder is stupid
Marisa Hope Jul 2017
There's something about 2am
It's not quite midnight, but it's not too far into the day just yet
There's something about 2am that makes my brain run wild
Something that makes me unable to get you off my mind
There's something about it that keeps me up longer than I want to be because I can't stop thinking of where I went wrong
What I did to spiral out of control
Unable to retract my tears
There's something about 2am that makes every song seem more sad than it is
That makes every song feel relatable
That this really was a love gone wrong
I should've never gone back to you
I knew all along I'd just get hurt again
But there's something about 2am that makes me feel everything
Feel everything at once
I'm pretty sure this is my second poem relating to 2am
Marisa Hope Oct 2016
You wrecked me, you made me a mess.
I can't believe its been over two years since we met.
And over a year since we stopped talking.
I ended it, not you.
Well, I guess it was kind of mutual.
But nonetheless, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

You told me I was special, that you wanted to be with me.
Played me with your words, tortured me with your lies.
What else should I have expected?
We did meet on Tinder, but that means nothing, does it?
But here we are, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

I was swiping left and right a few months ago and you popped up again.
New picture, still attractive, still the same **** I knew before.
I immediately swiped left, but did you swipe right?
I searched you again on Facebook, to see how you're doing.
It just reminded me, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

I'm glad we never ******, I'm glad it was just fooling around.
Obviously I wasn't anything you actually wanted.
Maybe you just wanted someone to **** with their emotions.
If that's so, you're **** good at it.
But what else is new, you wrecked me, you made me a mess.

Go ahead, treat the other girls like they're worthless.
Taunt them with your lies.
Tell them you want to be with them the same way you wanted to be with me.
So here I am at 11:37 thinking about you because;
You wrecked me, you made me a mess.
Marisa Hope Aug 2016
Looking back at it all, you were never really a friend.
Reading through all our messages - they were all one sided.
"I don't have time for friends" what a ******* way to end a friendship.
2010
That's when we met. I thought you were going to be the perfect friend, the one I could and did tell everyone about. We would Skype everyday, text throughout class, and all in all, you were always there to begin with.
When I met you in real life for the first time on my sweet sixteen, I knew this friendship was going to last forever.
2012
It didn't.
I get it, I was childish, but you even more so for ending our friendship through a text message.
So ******* for all the promises you never kept, the secrets I shared with you, and the friendship you gave me that clearly meant nothing to you.
Now
I don't know what you're doing with your life, but I hope you're happy. I just can't help it, you deserve to be happy.
But what you don't deserve...me.
Marisa Hope Jun 2016
I can't help but think that part of me loves you.

But we know that, I do love you. But this feels different, like a different kind of love. Something I've never felt before, something I don't know how to feel.

I'm scared to love because I'm scared to lose.

I can't love more than I do because I've put so much forth towards the relationship we have now. But I can't help but think that part of me loves you.

I miss you more often than not, I love the times we are able to talk, and even better, FaceTime.

But I can't love you. I just can't.
And if I did, I'd most definitely be friendzoned by now.

There's just something to you. A caring, kindhearted, wonderful human being with a special soul.

But I just can't love you, I can't.

These are things I want to tell you, but instead keep hidden deep down inside. Because I can't love you.

Yet, I look for pieces of you in every guy I meet. Every guy I'm interested in. Hoping they can be as amazing as you and give me all that you have. You treat me right, you treat me like a lady. You encourage me to follow my dreams and tell me when I'm being insane.

So maybe there is a part of me that truly loves you, more than I do now.

But I can't love you like that, I just can't.
Marisa Hope May 2016
I don’t know why you left me, and I guess I never will, but all of these feelings are dawning on my mind.
These feelings of “I’m not good enough” and that “I’ll never be good enough” because you left.
You left me at one of the most fragile points in my life an I had never felt so alone.
You swore to me that you would always be thre no matter what, but instead of upholding that promise, you ended our friendship with a text message.
Not only did you leave me with these feelings, you also left me with trust issues.
I never thought I’d be able to trust anyone the same way I trusted you again. I went into college skeptical of everyone, trying to trust people, but I just couldn’t trust anyone the same way I trusted you.
You made a part of my life ******* **** because you had to be selfish and claim that you didn’t have time for friends, but oh how Facebook shows your lies.
And a few times I’ve caved. I messaged you.
But now you’re really out of my life, but you’ll never be out of my mind because you’re in my memories.
Saying you were never there would be a lie because you did indeed help me through my toughest times.
But of all this bad, you showed me something good. You showed me that in order to be able to trust I had to find myself and when I finally found myself, I found someone better than you.
Someone I know won’t leave me, someone who literally has no time for anything, but still makes time for me.
And I found this because I found myself.
All those countless hours crying, hoping you’d come back into my life or that you’d give me closure, those hours led me to some amazing people in my life.
So thank you for breaking my heart, thank you for pulling me in and leaving me hung out to dry. Thank you for teaching me that the people in my life that truly care are the ones that will never leave.
*Most importantly, *thank you for letting go.
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